by R. C. Reigh
Yours Always,
- Dane”
When I had finished, I hesitantly looked up to see Cora’s reaction and then quickly spoke before she could say anything, “I don’t know what to tell him.”
“That all depends on what you want,” Cora said thoughtfully.
“That’s the problem. I’m not sure.” I pressed my eyes closed and let out a heavy exhale.
It was as if there was some kind of mental block I couldn’t get past when it came to Dane. A barrier that was somehow too high, too thick, too daunting to surpass. I was stuck in its shadow, too far gone to turn back and petrified of taking a step forward.
“Well, it wouldn’t really kill you to get to know the guy, right?” She shrugged her shoulders.
If only it could be that easy.
I realized that Cora had become a bit biased when it came to Dane. It seemed that in the short time that they had begun partnering for the Champions Challenge, he had won her over. It was clear to anyone and everyone that they had developed a close friendship, but, even so, I was confident that she still wanted what was best for me.
“I guess I’m scared,” the words poured out of my mouth all at once. “It wasn’t all that long ago that I hated him, Cora. Now I don’t know anymore. I mean, I’ve never been more confused in my life. I am willing to admit I might have been wrong about him, but I still don’t know if I can trust him,” I replied, not knowing if what I had just said even made any sense.
She nodded as if she understood.
“These kinds of things take time, Amelia. Trust has to be earned. That happens when you give yourself the chance to get to know someone and give them a chance to get to know you.” She explained.
“I know, but there are all these expectations. What if we are forcing something that’s just not there?”
“What if it is there?” she countered.
I had no response. I was so lost.
She continued, “What if it turns out amazing? One way or another you are going to have to confront it. We aren’t talking about marrying him tomorrow, Amelia. Just take some time and get to know him.”
“I,” gods couldn’t believe I was saying this, “I want to give him a chance. . .”
I trailed off, and Cora gave me that I’m-about-to-drop-some-hard-love look. Again.
“You are the only one who can make this decision, Amelia, so from this moment forward, I’m out,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “No more questions, no more dropping hints. If you want to know about him, if you want to see him, you’re going to have to ask him. Period.”
With that, she got up to head back into our quarters.
“That seems a bit harsh,” I called after her, and she turned and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Maybe it seems that way, but it’s exactly the right thing to do.”
Then, she disappeared into the turret.
With my book laid flat across the tops of my thighs, I sat out on the balcony for another hour, lost in thought. At this rate, I wasn’t going to get any studying done tonight. I tucked my silver marker in to save my place before slamming my book shut.
I found my fingers unfolding Dane’s letter again and tracing the rough scrawl of his name. I had been fighting so long that I didn’t even know why I was fighting anymore.
I laid my book on the small table and tucked my knees up to my chin.
Could I really find it within myself to let go of the anger I’d been holding in my heart for so long and give him a chance? Was it really what I wanted or was I conforming to everyone else’s expectation of me?
In recent weeks, I’d seen another side of him. It opened my eyes to just how naive I was, especially when it came to the wolves. Dane had put so much effort into showing me that side of himself when he hadn’t had to. I’d given him an out. I’d offered him the chance to walk away from me without any bad feelings between us, and yet he had chosen to pursue me anyway.
There was no doubt in my mind after what my father had said about the treaty that the king of Avonlee would have been willing to hear us out and renegotiate it if Dane had wanted to, but the truth was, the prince hadn’t even been willing to try.
There was something else at play here, something I was missing.
I thought back to that moment in the Avonlee convocation room, the night we first met. The way his eyes pressed close in his proximity to me. The way he was drinking me in. The way the soft pulse in the vein of his neck suddenly ticked up to racing. There was definitely something.
Even the thought of it now sent my own heartbeat alight, not with anger, but with some kind of exultation that tingled as it surged beneath my skin. A kind of exhilaration like I’d seen in him that night when those honey eyes suddenly flashed open and bore into mine.
The rustle of paper distracted my thoughts, and the trail of enlightenment I’d felt nearly on the verge of fizzled out. A letter arrived fluttering up from over the stone railing of the balcony. I plucked it from the air and examined the carefully folded paper. It bore the official royal seal of Avonlee. It was from my father.
I quickly opened the correspondence and began reading. It wasn’t long before my head was swimming with the message it conveyed.
Father had wanted me to be aware of the shocking news from the other human Kingdom in Vaalbara before the official announcement was made at the Bastion.
King Pythios was dead.
The cause of his untimely death was being investigated, but the first reports suggest it was most likely some sort of natural cause. His heirs were to be summoned back to Alstare.
I blinked through the shock of it. It was the first death of a monarch in my lifetime. An odd sort of sensation prickled at the back of my neck.
There were rumors about Pythios I had heard over the years, rumors that hinted he was responsible for his predecessor’s death. Unlike my father, he had a reputation for being cold and calculating, as well as notoriously callous and paranoid. Part of me wondered, given the news of his death, if he hadn’t been paranoid for a reason.
It was near dusk. The twinkle of the starlight was starting to show. A hint of movement in the tree line below caught my eye. It was the sleek form of a wolf, but it wasn’t just any wolf.
It was his wolf.
I’d spent so many hours giving his portrait in Avonlee the evil eye that there was no mistaking him. Before I knew it, my feet were leading me to the stairs.
I grabbed my thick wool shawl before hastily descending the steps. When I reached the bottom, I took the tunnels out of the lowest level of the Bastion. Pulling my shawl up over my hair and wrapping it around me like a cloak, I stepped out into the night air.
My feet tread the soft grass toward the massive black wolf that sat watching the Avonlee tower. The copper tufts inside of his ears ruffled when one of his pointy ears shifted toward the sound of my approaching footsteps. His hackles raised in high alert before his face swung in my direction, and those honey eyes focused in on me.
“Dane?” I took a hesitant step forward.
The black wolf scrambled to his feet. Once certain I wasn’t a threat, his head ducked low between his shoulders, and his onyx fur once again fell flat against his body.
“I saw you from the tower,” I said, pointing back up to my balcony on the turret.
His head raised and his shoulders squared before he took a cautious step foward. My eyes fell to the coppery wisps between the toes of his paws as he padded toward me. He slowed to a stop and gently nudged my hand before slipping past me. After a few yards, he stopped and turned back to me and waited.
He wanted me to follow him.
I hurried behind him as he jogged along a clear path through the woods. He stopped several times and patiently allowed me to catch up before he finally disappeared into a bush of berries.
I chewed my lip as I waited, hoping that this, in fact, was the right wolf.
DANE
Once behind the thick bushes of elderberries where I had left the lower
half of my clothes, I shifted. There was a level of discomfort in going to her half-naked, but I hadn’t expected to run into any humans out here, let alone the princess.
The fact that she had caught me watching her tower was embarrassing enough, especially after she had never replied to my letter. I had to admit I was more than a little wounded by her lack of response. In my eyes, it was as good as a no.
My intent had been just to check in on her, but when she had disappeared into her tower, I stuck around, hoping for one last glance before I started my rounds and perimeter check.
I stepped out from the bushes to face her.
“Amelia,” I bowed my head as her eyes went wide at my partial state of undress.
She quickly regained her composure and bowed her head, as well. A rosy flush heated her cheeks.
“I’m sorry to interrupt.” She chewed the inside of her lip. “I received word about something that I thought you should know. King Pythios of Alstare has died.”
My eyes fell to the underbrush.
I had been informed about King Pythios by my father. It was part of the reason I had the pack running alternating patrols around the grounds. No matter what the initial reports said, there was definitely something suspicious about the sudden death of a king.
“It’s not a good idea to be coming out here alone. The attacks on the Bastion have become more and more frequent,” I replied, still hesitant to meet her gaze.
She looked down at her hands as she began to wring them together again.
“I guess I didn’t really give that much thought when I saw you from my tower. It just popped into my mind that you may not have heard, and security adjustments may need to be made.”
She blushed a bit.
So, this was a business visit. I guess I shouldn’t feel so disappointed. She had said she wanted to be more involved in tactic-related decisions pertaining to her kingdom. There was an aching in my chest as the hope that she had come to discuss my letter was immediately snuffed.
“I should make sure you get back safely.” I looked around to make sure we were still alone. “I don’t have my weapons with me, so it would be easier for me to protect you if I changed back.”
“Oh, of course,” she nodded shyly. “Thank you.”
After ducking behind the bush again, I shifted and scooped my pants up with my jaws. We made our way back to the turrets in silence. Besides the obvious fact that my mouth was full, we wolves didn’t often talk to humans in our animal forms. It was hard to speak clearly and was often difficult to understand, but it was mostly because it weirded them out.
I stopped for a moment to let her catch up. A noise caught her attention and her progress stalled.
“What was that?” she stopped and asked.
I circled her once before I nudged her hand as encouragement to keep her going.
When we arrived at the door near the Avonlee tower, I disappeared into some underbrush to put on my clothes, which reminded me I really needed to find out how the dragons got their clothing to shift with them.
“How did you know it was me?” I asked as I rounded the corner to where she stood.
“We have a painting of you in the palace. I remembered the features,” she replied factually.
I was surprised she would know enough about my wolf to even recognize me. I rubbed the back of my neck and took in the sight of her for a moment, so innocent and beautiful. So infuriatingly naïve to have come out here on her own. She should have sent Cora or at least brought her with as a guard.
“You need to be careful. No one knows what happened to Pythios and, until we do, it’s not safe to be running around unguarded,” I huffed as I rested my hands on my hips. I didn’t want to sound like her father, but it occurred to me that this girl had lived such a sheltered life that she hadn’t any sense of self-preservation.
“Yes, it was my mistake. I shouldn’t have come.” Her eyes fluttered away from me.
“Why didn’t you bring Cora?” My eyebrows tugged together.
“We had a disagreement,” she answered, but still didn’t grace me with eye contact.
“A disagreement?” I couldn’t hold back my frown. “What kind of disagreement?”
“I’m sorry, Dane, but that is none of your business.” She raised her head defiantly.
Her words felt like a slap in the face considering she had sought me out and was dependent on my protection because of said ‘disagreement’ with the one person other than me that always had her back.
“Well, in that case, was there anything else I needed to know?” I tried to keep the snarkiness from my voice.
Even though I was frustrated, I didn’t want to walk away from her, not like this.
“No, I just wanted to give you the news,” she replied quietly.
“Alright.”
My eyes immediately fell downward and I clenched my fists so hard the veins in my arms bulged taunt against my skin. A flare of temperamental anger tried to rear its ugly head. I forced it back down.
“Thank you for letting me know,” I nodded my head and turned away, my heart once again filled with disappointment.
I managed to get a few yards before she spoke up again.
“Dane, I didn’t come here to fight with you if that’s what you thought.”
Her voice was soft and uncertain, like she had no idea what she was putting me through. In hindsight, I’d likely realize that she didn’t, but I was already too close to breaking to recognize that right now.
I whirled around to face her.
“Then, why don’t you tell me what you really came out here for?” I demanded with more anger in my voice than I had meant, but I was so beyond controlling my frustration.
I had been jumping through hoops like some kind of circus dog for her since the moment I saw her face. I had tormented and agonized over her. I had done countless things to ensure her wellness, her safety, and the welfare of her kingdom.
And the cold hard truth was she probably didn’t even care.
I was a prince, a champion, a formidable warrior who was envied by wolves and man, alike. I was a future king, both feared and respected amongst her people and mine. And, I was absolutely weak for a mere mortal.
Amelia was completely indifferent to any of it.
She had no clue what she did to me, or did she? Had this all just been her way of making good on the promise that she’d made all those weeks ago to force me to want to walk away?
“I already told you that,” she finally managed to reply.
I didn’t believe that for a second. Amelia was messing with my head, and I didn’t have time for her mind games anymore.
“Then, I think we’ve said enough for tonight. Good evening, princess.”
As soon as I was out of her line of sight, I shifted, so wrought with anger and frustration I didn’t even care if I destroyed my clothes. Every minute of every day was drawing me closer and closer to one conclusion: I had to have been mistaken about our Fating.
Since the day we met, at every twist and every turn, it was like the universe had been shouting, “You’re not right for each other!” Yet, my heart was saying something else entirely. I couldn’t go on like this any longer.
There was only one thing I was sure of anymore. I needed to contact my father.
Amelia
The sound of the stone beneath my shoes echoed up the stairway. My mind was a vortex of thoughts.
Why hadn’t I just come clean about my reply to his letter? Why was I so bad at this?
I couldn’t blame him for being frustrated with me. He had put himself out there by asking me to spend time with him at the arena and then again by sending me that letter, and I had just left him without an answer for two days.
All I had to say was that I wanted to take that walk with him. How hard was that? It would have been enough, but I had chickened out.
I paced the balcony, hands trembling.
Maybe if I asked Cora to go and find him? No. She was right. I needed
to do it myself.
It was too impersonal to send him a letter to explain.
No, I had to go to him in person and give him my reply. Unfortunately, now was a bad time. He’d taken off so quickly there was no doubt he was upset with me. If I went back out tonight without a guard, he would be too upset to even hear me out.
Maybe I should send him a letter and ask him to come back. Tell him I wished to speak with him. Maybe then we could clear the air. The worst he could say was no. That, or take too long to reply, as I had done. I hadn’t meant to hurt him with my indecision, but it was obvious that I had. I was such an idiot.
I stepped out onto the balcony with a quill and paper in hand. I was trying to decide what to say when out of the cool night air, a new letter quickly fluttered to me.
I felt relief flush over me and my lips tugged up to a smile. So much for space.
My cheerfulness was quickly stifled when I realized that the correspondence wasn’t a wolf but rather a smooth envelope, which meant it hadn’t been sent by Dane.
Something about the paper was definitely different from the Bastion or Carpathia or even Avonlee. Had it come from the capitol Laramidia? Another note from my father, perhaps? I opened it and my eyes raced across the script.
It was from Adam. He was in the capital and wished to meet.
What was he doing there? How had he even gotten to Laramidia all the way from Avonlee? I searched the rest of the correspondence, but the letter didn’t elaborate. It simply gave me a time and a place to meet him the following evening.
I rubbed my fingers over my brow. This was all so unexpected.
Adam was in Laramidia?
Another thought flitted to the forefront of my mind. Having been away from the Bastion for so long, Adam probably hadn’t heard about the attacks on the Fae there. He could be in danger. He needed to be warned.
Aside from my concern, another realization slid into view. Maybe this was what I needed to hurdle the wall in my mind when it came to a future with the prince. Maybe the lack of closure had been what was holding me back all this time?
