Night had fallen, and she had her arms crossed over her chest to keep her coat closed.
He was in cleaning up, tossing large chunks of the barn wall into a pile and smaller chunks into a trash barrel he must've dragged in from somewhere.
He glanced up as she stopped in the doorway. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah."
"I'll be back in a few. Just wanted to clean up a little out here."
That was kind of him, especially after she'd let her temper loose on him earlier.
"What did you mean earlier in the kitchen?"
He tossed a large chunk into the bucket; it landed with a loud clang. He dusted his leather gloves. "You were right."
She moved to help him lift a huge piece and carry it outside through the hole in the wall. "What do you mean?"
"The morning after we got married. You said I was under my dad's thumb. You were right."
Wow. That was unexpected. He must've read her disbelief in her expression, because he chuckled, though there was a slightly bitter tinge to the sound.
"After your walked out on me, I went back to school. What else was I going to do? But your words stuck in my head like a burr under a saddle. By mid-semester, I'd started counting all the things I'd wanted to do in the past that my dad had talked or manipulated me out of doing. We had a falling out at Christmas. I didn't go back to school."
She frowned. "I'm sorry."
He shrugged. "It would've happened eventually, I think. You just made me see it sooner."
"You still don't see him?"
"About once a year, at Christmas. My mom tries to smooth things over, but we pretty much don't talk. My younger brother Trevor is his golden boy, now."
It hurt to think of Nate, the outgoing, funny, steady man, losing out on a relationship with his father.
Nate straightened and looked at her. "So, you see, I don't get an allowance, and any money in my bank account is mine and mine alone. And if I want to help my wife get her business up and running, it's my decision, not anyone else's."
His quiet, determined words sank into a dry, desert place in her heart. But the soil was so arid that the water sank right through.
"We're not really married." She barely got the words out, low and quiet.
He didn't flinch. "We could be. We're married on paper and have been for a decade. And I...I care about you. About Miles. That kid is really special."
She swallowed hard. Could she stay married to Nate, for Miles's sake?
"I think we go together to visit Rachel first thing Monday morning, when Miles is in school, and come clean. Tell her that we’re planning to stay together."
As easy as that.
Only it wasn't easy for her to imagine. What would their life together look like in two years? In ten? She'd never lived in one place that long, not in her entire life.
So many questions, objections, barraged her mind. She grabbed the easiest one. "What about your job? Don't you have to be on the Triple H constantly?"
He shrugged. "I can talk to Matt, but I already know what he'll say. Your place is close enough for me to take an occasional night shift when it's needed, to be available for emergencies when it's not the workday. It's only a two-minute commute."
Her chest felt tight, and her skin prickled all over.
He stepped closer, tugging off his gloves. He tossed them on a discarded board. "If you don't want me, say so." He reached out and touched the back of her wrist with one finger. "Is that it?" His voice was low. Dangerous.
She shook her head, unable to push words past the tightness in her throat.
His hand moved to slide around her waist. He was hot, his touch a brand against her lower back as he edged closer.
And she didn't stop him. His arm came entirely around her waist, and he used his opposite hand to tilt her chin up. He brushed her lips with a tender kiss, one that took her right back to the kiss he'd given her as the Vegas minister had pronounced them man and wife.
The bottom dropped out of her stomach as his hand moved to cup her jaw. He deepened the kiss. She was drowning in him, in the sensations that promised everything she’d ever wanted…
He ended the kiss with one last sweep of his lips against her cheek.
She realized she was squeezing the material of his shirt in both hands. She let go, attempting to smooth out the wrinkles she'd made.
"Remember?" he asked, his breath warming her temple.
She pushed lightly on his chest, and he let her go, his arm falling away from her waist.
"Attraction was never the problem between us."
His head tilted toward her, though he didn't reach for her again. "It's more than that. At least, for me."
His words were like helium inflating a balloon inside her. If she let go of the strings, she could fly away...
She wavered. Her heart wanted to trust what he was proposing. Trust that a marriage between them wouldn't implode, trust that they could work things out.
But hadn’t life experience told her how dangerous believing could be? Taught her that she should protect herself at all costs?
"Let me win your heart, Kayla." His voice was sure and strong, the confident cowboy she'd grown to appreciate the past few days.
How could he ask that? Didn’t he know he’d already won her heart?
Chapter 8
Monday morning, Kayla was strung tightly with tension as she waited in the hallway of the social services building, Nate beside her.
The county building was sterile, cold. The old linoleum tile and bare white walls were cold and unwelcoming. Being here was bringing back horrid memories from her childhood.
She'd sat on those cold plastic chairs too many times, feet dangling, waiting to find out what foster house they were shipping her to next. Thankfully, Sarah had been by her side during those scary times in her early childhood.
But today, Nate's hand closed over hers. The warmth of his skin was a shock against her chilled fingers.
"You're freezing." He turned to her, took both of her hands in his and rubbed them.
She kept her eyes on the shoulder of his shirt.
But apparently, he didn't need to see her eyes.
"Stop freaking out," he said quietly.
She accepted the warmth of his hands, the way he drew her closer and tucked her into his chest.
"Nothing bad is happening today," he whispered into her hair.
"You can't know that," she whispered back. They hadn't told Miles what their plan was before they'd dropped him off at the elementary school, but he'd somehow read her tension. He’d walked into the building with shadows in his eyes. When she and Nate had left him, he'd sent one last look their way before disappearing into a classroom with the assistant principal.
If Rachel wasn't understanding, Miles could be ripped away from them. Today.
"Kayla? Nate?" Rachel greeted them with a smile, but her concern was palpable. She motioned them to enter a small room, one that Kayla remembered.
It was decorated differently now. Posters with inspirational sayings brightened the walls. An African violet on the corner of the desk brought a splash of color to the otherwise drab room.
"Are you having a problem with Miles?" Rachel asked. The already was implied.
"No." Nate shook his head while he waited for Kayla to sit in one of the chairs in front of Rachel’s desk. He sat in the other, never releasing Kayla’s hand.
"There's something we need to come clean about," he said. His shoulders were straight and confident.
She startled in her chair at his blunt words. She wanted to tell him to take them back. No doubt it was too late now.
Rachel's expression didn't reveal much, but her slight frown sent a shiver down Kayla’s spine. This was a bad idea.
Nate squeezed her hand.
"Kayla and I got married in Las Vegas just over ten years ago. We were young, and I was stupid, and we went our separate ways soon after. We never legally ended the marriage."
He looked rig
ht at Kayla, and the intensity in his gaze had her heart responding against her will. "I never stopped loving her, though."
Her face burned with volcanic heat. She was completely unprepared for his confession. He didn't blink, didn't push, just kept looking at her with...love?
He squeezed her hand. "When Kayla filed for the emergency foster placement and discovered I’d never applied for the annulment, I saw it as a chance to find out whether she still had feelings for me. And then I realized how great of a kid Miles is. Kayla and I want to make a go of our marriage. And we want Miles to be a part of our family. We realize there are classes and certifications we'll have to take to make the foster placement permanent, and we'd like to look into adoption. But we didn't want our relationship status to be a problem."
Later that afternoon, Nate drove over to Kayla's place. Rachel hadn't given them a final answer, only listened to their story and said she'd have an answer for them later in the day.
He'd dropped Kayla off at home and gone to the Triple H. A few hours of moving cattle on horseback, and his muscles were sore, his heart longing to see his wife.
Kayla had been so quiet on the way home, even after his confession of love. He hadn't expected her to say it back. He knew she cared about him, but she didn't know if she'd call it love. With her background, he was more worried about scaring her off than anything else.
When he rolled into her driveway, he saw her walking in the far field with the two larger dogs. He went inside, stopped in the kitchen to check on the recovering dog, who lifted its chin from its paws. A couple more days, and he would be out running the fields with the others, Nate was sure of it.
The Chihuahua jumped out of her basket to greet him. Her pups were sleeping in the larger box Kayla'd prepared over the weekend to accommodate their growing, curious natures. He scooped up the mama and went to meet his wife.
He found her walking the fence line, the dogs running ahead and barking. Kayla's expression was troubled, but a small smile crossed her face when he came near and she spotted the dog tucked in his arm like a football.
"She let you pick her up."
He fell into step beside her. "I figure she needs a name. What about Squirt?"
Kayla laughed, a startled sound. "Absolutely not."
"C'mon, I think she likes it." He looked down, and the dog looked up, its mouth open in a smiling doggie pant.
"No. Besides, she'll need to find a home when the pups get a little bigger."
"You're not keeping her?"
Kayla slanted a look at him. "I can't keep them all. The point of a rescue is to find them good homes. Forever homes."
Forever homes. Like the one that Kayla had been dreaming about for her whole life.
He rubbed Squirt’s head with the point of his chin, then set her down and let her run off with the collie and Lab. Then he turned to his wife.
"What if it's a special dog?" he asked. "And what if we want it to be part of our life forever? Like Squirt?"
For a moment in her gaze, he saw the uncertainty, then she glanced away. But he wasn't walking away from this.
"We won't let her sleep in the human bed," he said. "And Bando will have to get used to a pallet in the corner. They'll get along fine."
She cracked a small smile that quickly faded. "I don't...I don't know how everything's going to work out."
He clasped her hand. "Neither do I. Nobody else does, either. We can't see the future, but we can do our best to make it the future we want."
Her expression remained shuttered. "You make it sound so easy. But what if...what if we don't get to keep Miles? Then all of this"—he waved her hand through the air—"was for nothing. Without Miles, we can go back to our separate lives."
He shook his head, and her gaze lifted to meet his. "I can't do that. Can't go back to a life without you."
He used up the last vestiges of courage. "I meant what I said in Rachel's office earlier. I loved you back then—even if I did a bad job of proving it. And I still love you. I want to be in your life, even if we can't keep Miles right now."
Her eyes shimmered with moisture, and he found himself blinking back the same.
"We'll fight for him," he said quietly. "If they take him away. We'll take whatever classes they tell us to and hire a lawyer and get him back. He needs us. As does this crazy pack of dogs," he added after a flurry of barking and fur.
She sniffled and swiped at tears escaping down her cheek. "Really? Because everything you're saying sounds too good to be true."
"Really," he promised. "Even if I have to call my dad and ask for pulled strings."
She smiled a little at that. But it faded fast. "I don't know how to believe in forever. I've wanted it for so long—someone to lean on, to be there, a family of my own."
"I'm right here," he said. "If you'll have me. To have and to hold, remember? For better and worse."
"What you said earlier," she said. He saw her swallow. "That you..."
"Love you," he said quietly when she trailed off uncertainly. "Still. Always."
Her tears spilled over, and this time, he cupped her cheek and brushed them away with his thumb.
"I think... me too. I...love you. Still."
His heard pounded a crazy rhythm as the words made all his dreams come true. "Always?"
She nodded. "For always."
Joy overflowed, and he swept her up in a whirling, laughing hug that ended in a passionate kiss. Finally breaking away, he looked down on her with a wild grin.
Bando barked, tearing his attention away from the woman in his arms. A cloud of dust followed a car up the drive. A car he recognized from a week ago. Rachel.
He felt a full-body tremble go through Kayla and squeezed her closer. "We're in this together.”
She nodded, but he didn't miss the little hitch in her breath. He kept hold of her hand as they trudged through the field toward the house.
Kayla whistled for Bando and kept the dogs close as they approached the car. Smart. They didn't need the animals to jump on the social worker.
Rachel waited next to her car. Her expression was inscrutable. Would she deliver bad news? He knew it would devastate Kayla if they couldn't keep Miles.
"Howdy." He greeted her with the best smile he could muster.
"I won't beat around the bush," Rachel said. "I've spent all day considering what you told me earlier."
He felt Kayla brace for the blow, knew she was holding her breath.
"I'm still frustrated that you chose to lie to me from the start."
That sounded like there might be a but coming...
"But I believe you're sincere about wanting to make your relationship work. And about your desire to provide a stable home for Miles."
Kayla's breath whooshed out in a silent exhale.
Hope surged through him. "We can keep fostering him?"
Rachel leveled a look on him, conveying her seriousness. "There will be extra home visits. I'll be keeping a very close eye on you."
He hugged Kayla to his side. "Fine by us."
Kayla looked up at him, her eyes shining. "Is the school day over yet?"
"Soon," he said. "Let's go get our boy."
Epilogue
"Is there somethin' you wanna tell me?"
Kayla looked up from the brown paper grocery sack she was unloading. An apple fell from her suddenly nerveless fingers and rolled across the counter as she saw what Nate held between two fingers.
After six months with Miles in their house, things had settled into a rhythm. Nate worked the Triple H while Miles was in school and some nights when it couldn't be helped. The three of them had ripped out and rebuilt the barn until it was everything Kayla had dreamed of. Nate had helped with her grants—mostly by connecting her with a friend of his father's who'd given her invaluable advice.
Six months of real marriage had been...amazing. Oh, they'd had bumps along the way. Like when she'd discovered Nate's love of binge-watching horror flicks. Kayla couldn't stand them, and when Mi
les had begged to watch, they'd had a knock-down fight. But mostly...
Nate brought her flowers. They had a standing Friday-night date-night. They snuck kisses and held hands, and she'd never been so deliriously happy. She was even beginning to trust that it wasn't all going to fall down around her shoulders.
One thing that hadn't improved was her cooking. So Nate and Miles had taken over the cooking duties for the family and left her to do the shopping.
They were all unloading the groceries together, and Nate had stumbled on the package she'd wanted to sneak into their bathroom before anyone saw.
The pink pregnancy test looked unbearably silly in his big hand.
Miles's eyes had gone huge and round. The boy who'd come out of his shell and often cracked up with laughter, especially when he and Nate were teasing her, had gone quiet.
Her face flamed but she tried for a casual shrug. "There's nothing to tell. Yet." She gave her husband a pointed look. "We talked about trying for a baby, so I bought a test on a whim. Hopefully, we’ll need it soon. But not yet."
"Ah," her husband said.
What did that mean?
Was it her imagination, or did Nate look slightly disappointed?
The thought that he was ready to have a baby now was enough to set her heart pounding.
Miles's hand twitched, drawing her gaze even as he turned to stuff a gallon of milk in the fridge.
His face was carefully blank when he returned to the table. All that was left was a box of cereal. "May I be excused? Can I walk Millie?"
Kayla's rescue wasn't officially open yet, but they'd placed four dogs over the summer and now had a female Rottweiler mix that had been dumped on a farm road and found by Sarah on one of her calls. Miles had formed an attachment to the adolescent dog.
"Okay," Kayla agreed. "It's Nate's night to cook."
The boy hustled out the back door.
And Nate, perceptive as ever, raised his brows at her. "What was that? Another of those foster kids moments, you won't understand?"
Keeping Kayla: a Cowboy Fairytales spin-off (Triple H Brides Book 4) Page 7
