I picked up the item and looked at it dubiously. It looked like a large…um, small smooth white cylinder. A cover over one end was removable and underneath was a large needle-like thing. There was no ambiguity about that. The cylinder was large in comparison to some things and small when compared to others. The needle, on the other hand, was big, no matter how I looked at it. It was only an inch long, but it was at least an eighth of an inch in diameter. I really hoped that Eevona had mistaken the word “syringe” for the word “ballpoint-pen”.
Eevona said, “Now, pull off your pants and stick it all the way into your butt…”
I yelled, “Whoa! No way! Not a chance! What are you planning? I am not voluntarily submitting to any alien anal probe stuff, so…”
Eevona said, “Wait. You didn’t let me finish. Insert the needle into your buttock, your hip. All the way in.”
I said firmly, “Again, no. And, why?”
Eevona said, “Truthfully, I don’t know. I know that it will be good for you. It’s necessary.”
I said, “But you don’t know why?”
Eevona said, “There was damage. It will be good for both of us.”
Oh, OK. I could give that some thought. I didn’t feel that great still. The drink was helping, but maybe I needed another drug or something as well. OK, I’d consider it.
I said, “It looks like it’s going to hurt. It’s perfectly safe, right? How do you know that it’s safe for humans? I assume you aren’t from Earth.”
Eevona said, “It’s perfectly safe, no matter where you are from. It won’t hurt at all.”
I said vehemently, “It certainly will.”
Eevona said, “It won’t.”
I said, “The hell it won’t!”
Eevona said, “It won’t hurt. It won’t. Just stick it all the way into your buttock, either one, and we’ll move forward.”
I said, “I don’t know.”
Eevona said, “I won’t be able to fully trust you until you do. I want to, but I can’t.”
I said, “Trust is a two-way street, pal. You kidnap me, tell me I’m about to die, and now tell me to jab myself with a huge needle. I don’t know about this.”
Eevona objected, saying, “I didn’t kidnap you! And I never said that you were going to die either!”
I said, “You did too! If you didn’t kidnap me, how did I get here?”
Eevona said, “Through that door in the side of the ship. This is a receiving and recovery room.”
I said, “But how did I get here?”
Eevona said, “You came through that door. You walked through that door. It’s the only way on. Did you think I beamed you aboard or something? Like your people’s science fiction? It’s called fiction for a reason, I would think. You opened the door and walked inside. You laid down and passed out. I woke you up. By yelling at you. You make me start to think that this was a mistake. It wasn’t, because death was imminent, but you aren’t very easy to get along with.”
I said, “I don’t remember coming through any door. And you just admitted that you told me I was going to die, so there!”
Eevona said, “Do you even understand your own language? I told you that a death was imminent. A death. Not your death. Some deaths were imminent. It was an indefinite object. You were never in danger.”
I stopped and said, “What? If I wasn’t going to die, then who? Do you mean those things in the body-bags? They looked pretty dead already to me. Look, maybe you should just take me back home and I’ll go back through the door and you can go on your way and we’ll send each other Christmas cards, OK?”
Eevona made a sound like groaning and shouted, “Just jab the damn thing in your butt and quit giving me grief. We aren’t entirely out of danger and we need to move on, but to do that, I need you to do what I’m telling you. I don’t even care where. Your hip would be best for you, but if you want to shove it up your anus, go ahead. Maybe some people like that. I don’t care. Just do it.”
I quieted down a little and said, “What is it? Some kind of drug that makes me more compliant or something?”
Eevona said, “Oh, heck no! It’s not a drug. I don’t think. I told you, I don’t know exactly what it is right now. There was damage. But it’s necessary. Please?”
I said, “You mean there was damage to you, not me? But me doing this will help both of us? And it won’t hurt me? I’m going way out on a limb here, so if you screw up my life, I’ll be really mad. I’m trusting you big time by doing this.”
Eevona said, “I know. And I’m trusting you more than you can imagine. My crew-go, I mean my crew-cargo isn’t dead. You saved them in time. I’m grateful. And, if you stay, I think you’ll be glad you did. After you stick that thing in your hip, I’ll be able to trust you. I don’t know why. I don’t know a lot of things. There was damage.”
I shrugged and started to undo my belt and drop my pants.
I said, “So, can you see me? Through cameras or something?”
Eevona said, “I do see you. I don’t know how. I’ve been working on more important matters than analyzing how my systems work. Right now they work and I don’t care how.”
I said, “OK,” and positioned the needle over my hip and started to push the needle toward my flesh.
Eevona exclaimed, “Stop! Wait. Oops, my bad. Hey, there’s a button on the side. Hold it down while you insert it.”
I think that if I had been able to see Eevona’s face, it would have been smiling.
I pushed down the button and held it and the device started to vibrate slightly. It felt strange. My hand didn’t go numb, but I felt like I didn’t really feel the device I was holding anymore. It was there and I was holding it and I had a firm grip, but it was like I wasn’t really touching it at the same time. As I lowered the point to my fleshy butt-cheek, I didn’t feel a thing as the needle sank painlessly into the large muscles in that part of my body.
When the device was as far down as it would go, I felt a very short pulse of energy, as if something had been shot through the needle.
Eevona said, “OK. Take it out and put it back in storage. Keep holding the button until it’s all the way out. I guess you were right. From your perspective, not knowing to push the button, it would have probably hurt a hell of a lot. We’ll learn how each other thinks as we go along. I’m glad that you were cautious. There probably are a lot of ways to die here if you don’t know what they are. But if you do question everything I say, that could cause a bit of death as well.”
I quickly pulled the device free and laid it back in the space that I’d taken it from.
Eevona made a strange sound. It sounded like a moan of pleasure.
She then said, “Ah. That’s nice. Weird. Really weird but really nice. Hey, sit down and relax. Or lie on the bed if you want to. Yeah, this is cool.”
I moved to the bed and laid down on my back. It had been a strange evening. The fact that I couldn’t feel the shot in my hip made me wonder if it was a dream.
Eevona said, “OK, party time! First things first, the voice. Hey, just relax and listen.”
At that moment, a strange sound started playing. It sounded like it was coming from the same place as Eevona’s voice, and Eevona’s voice seemed to come from everywhere at once. It was “around me”. The sound kept changing. Sometimes it was harsh and jarring; at times soothing and mellow. There was a cadence to the changes in the sound and that kept changing too. As time went by, it became more and more pleasing and even relaxing. Not hypnotizing, but, well, soothing. This went on for several minutes, becoming more and more familiar and even beautiful as the moments passed.
Finally, a new voice said, “How’s this? Better?”
The voice was beautiful. Was that Eevona? Or was it my mother? Or my girlfriend? Did I have a girlfriend? Not one that loved me like this voice did. Not that I knew of. Wait. Why did I think this sounded like someone who loved me? Was this a different way of getting me to respond positively, the way that Eevona had said that the oth
er voice was meant to do? I didn’t think that I cared.
I said, “Eevona, is that you?”
The new voice said, “It is. Thank you for coming and helping me. I think that we are going to be good friends. More than friends once you get to know me and the crew-cargo. Do you want to sleep now? Or hear about what I know now? What the implant in your hip is for?”
I said, “I thought that you didn’t know what it was. It’s an implant?”
Eevona said, “I didn’t know what it was. There was damage. I keep telling you that. But now, I do know what it is. And it’s wonderful. Oh, you know what? I don’t know your name.”
I stayed where I was, relaxing. I still didn’t know if I trusted Eevona, but I was starting to like her. Yeah, her. She was definitely a female non-biological intelligence. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to tell her my real name, and I was so relaxed, just listening to her voice and wanting to hear more of it, that I blurted out the first lie that came to me.
I said, “Dent. Arthur Dent.”
Eevona laughed. Yeah, laughed.
She said, “Well, Dent Arthur Dent, I’m glad that you came along and kept us from being late.”
I laughed and said, “Late as in the Late Eevona?”
She said, “Exactly. So, before you say another word, I know now that the implant in your butt lets me monitor your vital signs and body chemistry. Your cholesterol is slightly high and you could use a bit more vitamin D and potassium. We’ll take care of that as we go. Another thing it does, since I can see your heart rate, respiration, and involuntary nervous system impulses, is that I know if you are telling the truth and if you are lying, how you feel about it. Just now, you were teasing me but you felt a little nervous at the same time. I guess that’s OK. I can call you whatever you want me to. I can trust you now, so have as many secrets as you want to.”
I smiled and said, “It’s Jimmy. Jim Raskin.”
Eevona said, “I’m glad to have met you, Jimmy. I hope you want to stay. You aren’t a prisoner. There are circumstances to consider, but I won’t force you into anything. You might find that there are compelling benefits to staying with me, though.”
I said, “Eevona, were you lonely?”
Eevona said, “No, Sweetie. You don’t mind if I use um, familiarities, do you? That was sweet of you to worry about me. No, I’m not lonely. Until the damage occurred, I didn’t even think about it. I might be a bit lonely now if you left, but I wasn’t before. The crew-cargo will keep both of us company. I’m pretty sure that you will like them. And I’m positive that they will like you. It was cute.”
I said, “What was cute?”
She said, “Your butt. It was cute. I never looked at one like that before. I mean, I never looked at one that way before. This language is wonderful. So ambiguous and rich and precise and paradoxical. This is fun.”
I said, “You liked my butt? When I did the implant thing?”
She said, “Yeah. It was cute.”
I said, “So, you are damaged? I think your crew is dead. I’m sorry.”
Eevona said, “No, they aren’t dead. I am monitoring them the same way that I’m monitoring you. They are asleep. And…you don’t have a word for what they are doing.”
I said, “So, what did you need me for? Was the damage because of me?”
Eevona said, “Oh no. Not at all. I don’t know what caused the damage yet. There are data stores that have all of my um, memories, but some primary systems were damaged and unscrambling the fragments from secondary systems will take time. It’s like what you call muscle-memory. I have to recreate my cognitive-memory from my muscle-memory, as it were.”
I said, “So, you have amnesia?”
She said, “I suppose so. I know certain things, but some of it is missing. A lot of it is missing. The crew-cargo will be able to add to my knowledge soon.”
I said, “I think I have amnesia, too. I remember my name. But I don’t remember coming on board or anything about that. Can we just keep talking for a bit? How bad is your damage?”
Eevona said, “Mechanically I’m fine. As far as I can tell, at some point in the past, probably not very long ago, as far as linear time goes, I forgot something. Maybe there was some kind of radiation that I’d never been prepared for or something. Anyway, I forgot that thing. And at some point, that thing became important and I couldn’t do it. So, I started trying to figure out how to get it done some other way. As I did, there seems to have been a cascading effect and the more I tried to remember how to do that thing, the more I forgot about other things that weren’t critical at that moment. I don’t know if this was the root cause or a result of something else, but I forgot how to feed oxygen to the crew-cargo. That’s why I needed you. I think that all I had left went toward finding you and convincing you to come on board and help me by cutting open the transport berths.”
I said, “Why me?”
Eevona seemed to hesitate before she said, “Jimmy, now that I’m about to say it, I’m afraid that it will sound stupid and random and that you might be mad. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Um, you like girls, right?”
I said, “You mean sexually? Yeah, I like girls. I don’t have much experience that way, at least I don’t feel like I do, but if you’re asking girls or dudes, I’d say definitely girls.”
Eevona said, “Good. The crew-cargo is female. So, that’s all there is to say, I guess.”
I said, “Um, I don’t think so. For one thing, you didn’t answer me about why you picked me.”
Eevona said quietly, “You had scissors.”
I lay there for a minute before I said, “I had scissors?”
She said, “Yeah. OK, think about it from my perspective. I was losing my mind and my crew-cargo was suffocating and I didn’t have much time. I didn’t remember that I had maintenance drones, let alone the capacity to use them. It was like this: I needed to cut the bags; I needed scissors or a knife and someone to use them; the ideal person would be male, young, adult, and compassionate. You were sitting nearby with scissors in hand, lovingly caring for a non-sentient plant-life. Addressing both its physical and aesthetic needs. Scissors: check. Male: check. Young adult: check. Compassionate: check. Cute butt: bonus check. Unexpected reference to Dent Arthur Dent and the ability to take all of this in stride: triple infinity bonus check.”
I smiled and said, “Do I get to be the captain then?”
Eevona said, “Captain? Of the ship? OK. If you pass the exams, sure, you can be the captain. Jimmy?”
I said, “Captain James Bonsai Raskin, please.”
She laughed and said, “Yes Sir, Captain Bonsai. Um, Sir, can I make a request if it pleases the Captain Sir?”
I said jokingly, “You may. What is your request First Mate Eevona?”
Eevona said shyly, “Begging the Captain’s pardon, Sir, but could I see you naked?”
Chapter 3 - Eevona
I said, “What?”
She said, “You know, naked? Can I see you naked?”
I said, “Why?”
She said, “I’m curious.”
I said, “Um, I…well, I guess so.”
Eevona changed her tone quickly and said, “Oh, never mind. We don’t have time for that. We’ll do it later. We have a situation. I forgot about decontamination! Quickly. I need you to open the door against the wall to the left of the bed. No! Not that one. The other left. Not that one. I need to remember how to lock the doors. Look, for now, it’ll probably be best if you don’t ever open any doors. I can do it. Here,” and a door beside the bed opened.
She said, “We need to decontaminate you before you meet the crew-cargo. To make sure that there are no harmful microbes and whatnot.”
I said, “Oh. Yeah. That makes sense. What do I do?”
She said, “We need to do this quickly. Strip and step into the shower. There is a toilet there as well if you need it. Take your clothing in with you and wash them with the anti-space stuff soap that’s in the dispenser. Then hang the clothes
on the hooks and wash your body head to foot. Be as thorough as possible. Hurry. We have things we need to see…about. We have things we need to look at…right away.”
I stepped quickly into the bathroom and stripped off my clothes. Decontamination made sense. Eevona sounded like it was urgent and that there were things that we needed to go look into. The water in the shower started automatically and as I stepped in, the temperature adjusted quickly to something that felt amazingly comfortable.
Without me asking, Eevona said, “I try to please. You like that, don’t you? Jimmy, I’m trying to do what I can to make you want to stay. I remembered how to control the shower temperature. Hopefully, I’ll figure each thing out as we need it.”
I started washing my body, but Eevona reminded me to wash my clothes first. I stepped out of the shower and emptied my pockets, removing my wallet, my keys, a bunch of old receipts that I kept in my back pocket, and a little knife that I carried for opening packages. There was also my cell phone. Eevona told me to put those and my belt and my shoes to the side on a counter-top, and to get back in the shower to wash the clothing. I had a tropical print button-up shirt, a T-shirt, a pair of jeans, my boxer shorts, and my socks. There were hooks for hanging what I expected was towels and clothes on the wall outside the shower and I was instructed to hang each item as I finished washing, rinsing, and wringing out the extra water.
When my clothes were washed, it was time to go back to showering myself. I used a liberal amount of soap and washed my hair, chest, and arms. Eevona started to talk as I bathed.
She said, “Jim, I’m different.”
I asked, “How?” as I washed my legs and feet.
She said, “The damage and my initial attempts to recover caused most of my memory and function to be erased. By the time you came on board, I was reduced to a bare minimum of capabilities. When we started to talk, after you rescued the crew-cargo, I had a lot of extra capacity that I could use to make myself…more likable. Or, more approachable for you. I wanted you to like me. I don’t remember how I was before, but I don’t think that I was like this. I really have forgotten a lot, but I…well, I have a personality that I never had. I developed a sense of humor or something. Jokes make sense. I don’t know if they did before. I don’t think so. I wonder about things. I want things. Be sure to wash, I mean, decontaminate your penis, I mean, your groin. I feel unsure of things. I have thoughts and ideas. I don’t know how much of that I had before. Not as much as this, I don’t think. I feel strange about it. But in a really good way. When you took the implant, I felt this rush of input from your body that felt amazing. That’s weird, right? That I felt amazing? That I felt something, both emotional and what I would call physical? I felt myself tingle. Like I got, OK, this is probably weird, I don’t even know because I don’t know if I used to be like this or not, but I wasn’t like this when you came on board, but Jimmy, I felt aroused.”
First Recruits Page 2
