by Young, Alexa
“I can’t,” Luce whimpers. “I’m too tired.” She starts to sob, and it breaks me to see her so exhausted. I wish I could do this for her.
Well, maybe not.
“Oh, God, here comes another contraction, Dray. Please, I need you.”
I jump in behind her for added support as she leans back into me. I grab both her hands and will her to push. “This is it, firecracker.”
She lets out a yell and pushes down, and the sound is almost demonic.
“The head is out.” Laura beams. “One more push and she’ll be here.
“Dray,” Luce whimpers.
“One more push, baby, and then you’ll get to hold her. You can do it. I’m here, just one more push.”
She lets out an ungodly roar and I pray this is the final hurdle. Her fingers almost snap every bone in my hands, but it’s worth it to finally have our angel here.
“Here she is,” Laura announces. She brings over our little dark-haired bundle of joy as Luce descends into sobs. Tears roll down my face when she’s laid across Luce’s chest. She’s so tiny. I couldn’t ever imagine anything so small. But she’s completely perfect.
“She’s here, Dray,” Luce whispers, kissing our baby’s forehead.
I just stare in amazement.
I’m in love.
Her eyes slowly open and look into mine, and I’m done for. I feel more tears roll down my face. I grab my phone and lift it up to take a selfie of us all to document one of the best moments of my life.
The nurse soon takes her away to clean up, to do checks and record her weight. Luce sinks back into me, beyond exhausted. I kiss her hair and she sighs with complete contentment.
“Thank you for giving me the most precious gift,” I say, holding her in my arms. She turns her head to look at me.
“She’s really here, Dray. Can you believe it?”
“I can’t, baby. You did so good, my brave little firecracker.”
“Next time, I’m having that epidural.” We both laugh together.
“I don’t think my hand could survive another labour,” I groan. I’m pretty sure I have some sort of fracture.
“Try pushing a baby out of your vagina, then you’ve something to complain about.”
“You did amazing.” I kiss her cheek as the nurse returns with our angel.
“Do you want to hold?” Luce asks. I nod as I climb from behind and take her in my arms. She wrinkles her nose slightly as she stirs. Just like her mother. She’s like a mini Luce, and I couldn’t be any prouder.
“Hey, beautiful. I’m your daddy. We’ve been waiting for you and now that you’re here, we’re finally complete. My own little family. You’ve made me the happiest man alive.” I kiss her hair and she lets out a contented gurgle. I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I walk over to sit by Luce. She wipes the tear from my cheek and leans in to kiss me. It’s soft and slow as we pull away to stare in wonder at our precious baby girl.
“We still haven’t thought of a name yet.” Luce sighs.
“Well, you vetoed all of mine.”
“With good reason.” Luce snorts. “But I was just thinking before. I don’t know whether you would like to call her Grace, after your mother?”
“Really?” I stare at her in wonder.
“I know how much you miss her, but I didn’t want to ask in case it was too upsetting.”
“No—I love it, I wish she was here to meet her.”
“I know, me, too. So how about Grace Agnese Miller? I’d like her to share my Nonna’s name, too.”
“It’s perfect, their memory will live on through our little Grace.”
“I think I’m just going to rest my eyes.” Luce leans over and kisses Grace, who’s lying content in my arms. I watch her slowly fall asleep, knowing words could never express how much joy she’s given me.
I sit in the chair, watching both Luce and Grace as they sleep. They look like angels.
My Luce.
My Gracie.
Chapter Thirty-One
I close the door quietly behind me, wearing the baby sling with Gracie snuggled against my chest. For the first couple of weeks, it’s been chaos. We’ve barely had any sleep. Luce has been very grouchy. I’ve tried to take the load off when I could, but Gracie wakes three to four times a night, so it’s been very hard going. Luce’s not really a person who gets by on little sleep, so I’ve been looking after Gracie while she naps between feeds.
I stare down at Gracie, who sucks contentedly on her dummy, and know she’s worth every sleep-deprived minute. Now I just need to slip into work, co-sign the bank documents and get out of here unnoticed.
What are the chances of that happening?
“Oh, my God, Dray. Let me see her! Can I hold her?” Jen squeals. I glare at her, and her face falls.
“Keep it down. Do you know how long it takes babies to fall asleep?”
She pouts at my grouchiness, but this is just a quick visit. I need to be in and out before Gracie decides she wants feeding again.
“Oh, don’t be such an Ebenezer. Hand her over.”
“Nope, and anyway, get back to work. What do I pay you for?”
“Is that little Grace?” Oh, hell, there’s a crowd of them now. I take off towards the office, leaving them stunned. I have no time for this bullshit.
Ritchie smiles when I walk through the door, but as soon as he sees my disgruntled face, it falls. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Avoiding the baby brigade trying to steal my Gracie.”
“Yeah, they’ve asked when you’d be coming in. Laurie enjoyed her visit. It’s all I’ve heard. I think we can definitely say we’re trying.”
“That’s great news.”
“So can I have a hold?” Ritchie asks, smiling.
“No, she’s sleeping.”
“Scrooge.”
“Yeah, yeah, heard it all before.” I stare down at my sweet angel, her face resting against my heart, and I’m instantly overcome with emotion. I love her with all my heart. You think you’re prepared for all these feelings you’ll have, but you’re not.
“So, is it everything you hoped for?”
“It’s more. I swear I don’t want to let her out of my sight,” I say, bending down to kiss her hair.
“I can tell.”
“Fuck off, just you wait. You think you know it all, but you don’t.”
Gracie grizzles a little, so I rock her. “Stay asleep, Gracie. Daddy doesn’t have any of the good stuff, we need Mamma for that. You stay asleep till we get home.”
Ritchie laughs at my baby voice.
“Oh, fuck off. Give me these bank documents you need me to sign, before the lynch mob comes through the door and steal my baby.”
“Always so dramatic.” Ritchie shakes his head and chuckles, handing me the documents. I quickly sign each one, ready to make a swift and sharp exit.
“Right, I’m off. You want to check it’s all clear?”
“I can tell you now they’re waiting.” Ritchie smirks.
Fucker.
“Well, here we go then.” I stand and head for the door, praying it won’t be as bad as I think. I immediately see a sea of faces.
Fucking hell.
“Aww, let us have a look, Dray.”
I peel back the material to reveal a sleeping Gracie.
“What weight was she?” Jo asks.
“Seven pounds, ten.”
“Ooh, so how’s Luce?”
What is this, twenty questions?
“She’s fine. Speaking of home, I’d better be off.”
“Can we not have a hold?” Roxanne whines.
“Sorry, ladies, never wake a sleeping baby.”
“God, you’re like the Grinch keeping that precious baby to yourself,” Jen says, scowling.
“She’ll wake the moment I move her,” I insist. I’m not handing her over; this angel is not leaving my sight. “Anyway, got to go. She’s due a feed soon, so got to get her back to her mama.”
“When are y
ou bringing her back in?” Jo asks.
Never.
“Soon.” I smile, hotfooting it for the door.
Ahhh, freedom.
* * *
“Is that you, Dray?” Luce asks, rubbing her eyes as she walks through. She’s been napping while I’ve been out but still looks as sexy as hell, all sweat pants and messy hair. I’d take her whichever way I could.
“Yeah, firecracker.” I slowly manoeuvre a still-sleeping Gracie from her baby sling into my arms. She’s been a dream on our outing, and I couldn’t be prouder.
“I bet they were all cooing over her at the gym, right?” Luce asks.
“Well, err—”
“You didn’t let anyone have a hold?”
“God, no. They aren’t infecting our little angel with their germs.”
“Dray.” She giggles. “People always like to hold babies.”
“Then let them have their own fucking babies.”
“Well, can I have a hold? I did go through over ten hours of labour to bring her into this world.”
“I suppose,” I grumble, kissing her little head. Then immediately I wrinkle my nose. “Might need to change her first. She’ll wake up now, so I want her ready to hand over to you. I know how crabby you both get when you need feeding.”
“Whatever.” She pokes out a tongue and watches me swiftly step into action, changing Gracie. I’m now a pro; you learn your lesson early on and never forget. It’s like a military procedure. As predicted, Gracie starts to grizzle as I finish applying the cream and fasten up the nappy. I’ve just got the poppers snapped shut when she pokes open an eye.
“Hey, beautiful. You had a nice sleep? I bet you’re ready for a feed, sleeping all this time. Such a good girl for Daddy.” I lift her into my arms and cradle her for a moment, breathing in her amazing baby smell. God, someone needs to bottle it, I think before handing her over to an eager Luce.
“Hey, my little angel. I missed you, but Mama needed that nap. You ready for another feed?” She stares at Gracie, so in love, and it’s moments like this I cherish and will remember for the rest of my days. I sit down beside them both, kissing Luce’s hair.
“Thank you,” Luce says, sighing.
“What for?”
“For finally having the courage to tell me you loved me. For giving me Gracie and a life so perfect. I’m blessed in a way I never knew possible.”
“I’m the blessed one. I’ll do anything to keep my girls happy.”
“We are. You’ve stepped up in a way I never thought possible. You’re better with her than I am. I don’t think I could have made it through the last few weeks without you.”
“Hey, we’re her parents, a team. I should share the workload. I don’t want to miss a thing. Time flies by so fast, and I want to remember every part of her life.”
“We will.” We stare in complete contentment at our daughter.
She’s our world.
She owns our hearts.
She made us complete.
Two Years Later
I stare at the picture on my desk of both my girls. Luce grows more beautiful with each day that passes and Gracie, there’s no end to her cuteness. She’s the exact replica of her mother; she even has the same mannerisms. It’s hard to believe we’ve just celebrated her second birthday. Time flies so fast, all I want to do is hit ‘pause’ and savour every moment. I have a digital frame which holds every single picture documenting her life. She loves to sit and watch it when she’s ready to go to sleep, and I love how we’ve captured every memory to remember when she’s long flown the nest.
God, that thought kills me.
If I had my way, she’d never leave. I’d keep her as she is now, my little daddy’s girl, where she lives and hangs off my every word. My days when not working are spent playing, watching Peppa Pig and laughing at every little thing she does. I swear she’s been here before. She possesses the kind of old-style attitude you can’t help but fall in love with. She has me happily twisted around her little finger, and I’d do anything for her.
“Dray, have you got a copy of the Fit Vit invoice?” Ritchie asks. It’s my turn to be back in work. Luce is off today looking after Gracie. I can’t wait for the next three hours to be over so I can be at home with them both.
Home.
I smile at those words.
“Hmm, yeah, it’s here.” I fish it out from the pile of documents on my desk. Going part-time, I need to knuckle down when I’m in, but Ritchie is doing an amazing job as acting manager. He’s been a godsend. I gave him a huge pay raise when he stepped up after Gracie was born. I love my business, but I love my daughter more. Being away from her all day long was not an option; plus, I’d trust Ritchie with my life. I’m more than prepared to let him run my empire while I’m away.
There’s a short rap at the door, and Steve walks through moments later. “Hey, Dray, there’s a guy outside asking to see you. He says it’s urgent. His name is Lex Miller, and get this, he says he’s your brother.”
I stare at him in surprise. “Tell the fucking joker to take a hike, I’ve no brother.”
“Okay, but he does have some resemblance. I think you should maybe—”
I look over to Ritch and he nods. May as well see what this fucker has to say for himself. “Bring him in.”
This should be fucking good.
Steve walks through with a tall, lanky kid, who looks to be around eighteen. He’s dressed in a hoodie, jeans and Converse. His hair is blond, kept short, but it’s his eyes I notice above all—they’re the same as mine. I have my dad’s eyes. I’ve always resented any part that resembled that fucker, and now I see he’s passed it on to his other son.
“You can go now, Steve.” His face drops at my words, as he no doubt wanted to watch it all unfold.
Nosey fucker.
“So you’re Lex?” I ask. He gives a quick nod, but that’s all. Not very talkative. “Take a seat.” I motion to the chair on the other side of the desk. He sits, but there’s a level of unease about him, and he’s twitchy. My first thought is whether or not he’s on something.
“So what did you want to talk to me about?” I ask, as he’s not at all forthcoming.
“I’m in some trouble,” he mumbles.
Surprise, fucking surprise.
“And you thought you would come here because—”
“I need money,” he blurts out.
“So much for the family reunion. I think I should be slightly offended.”
He runs a hand through his hair, agitated.
“Are you on something?”
“No,” he snaps. “I’ve just got Danny Weighman’s men on my case. I was a part of a poker night and owe him some money. I’ve got until tonight to pay. You were my last option.”
“Feel the fucking love, hey. How much?”
“Three grand.” His eyes meet mine, and I see the urgency inside. But I’m a little pissed he’s turned up out of the blue, thinking I’ll bankroll his gambling habit.
“Sorry, no can do. Ask Daddy Dearest to bail you out,” I say snidely.
“He’s got no money, and to be honest, he’s in just as much trouble.”
“Like father, like son then,” I add bitterly.
“Please, Dray, I never knew you existed till Dad let it slip last night when he was comatose with drink. I just need help.”
He looks at me with those eyes, and I’m pissed. I don’t want any part of my dad’s life interfering with my new life. It’s perfect, and that’s how it’s staying.
“Sorry, no can do. There’s the door.” I wave him away and pick up another invoice. I don’t bother looking up, and moments later, I hear the door close behind him.
“Fucking hell, Dray,” Ritchie barks.
“Oh, I might have guessed you’d pipe up. I don’t need the fucking hassle, okay?”
“But Weighman doesn’t hang around for his money. Are you really going to let him be beat on for three fucking grand?” Ritchie’s eyes search mine.
“And have him come back time and time again to bail him out? Sorry, this fucking gravy train is not happening.” I snort. I could just see how this would play out.
“You always said to me you wished you’d had brothers growing up.”
“Not ones who bring trouble to my door. I’m not having anyone endanger my family in any way.” I would kill anyone who did.
“He’s your family, too.”
“That’s different,” I growl.
“It doesn’t have to be. You could get to know him, build a relationship with him. Fuck if he’s had the kind of life you’ve had with your dad.”
“He’s gone now, it’s done.” I go back to my paperwork. But he’s there in my head.
What if I was too quick in telling him no?
My old man is a complete screw-up, so it’s no wonder Lex is heading that way with no one influential in his life to tell him different. I had Liz and Gianni as my support system, but who did he have?
“Oh, fucking hell, Dray, look at screen fifteen. It’s Glen.”
My eyes snap up to the CCTV screen, watching Glen land a punch on Lex square in the face. It’s in the alleyway by the gym, and Lex goes down like a sack of spuds. Did no one ever teach him how to fucking defend himself?
I’m up and out of the chair in seconds with Ritch close behind. We round the corner to find Glen hovering over Lex.
“Next time, I’ll break your fucking legs,” Glen snarls.
“You want to try and land your next punch on me, big man? Twenty grand says you won’t even come close,” I spit out, waiting for him to take me up on my offer.
Yeah, I’m that confident.
He spins around and sneers. “Ahh, Dray. Long time, no see. I was just passing when I saw young Lex, and I have to grab my opportunities while I can. You see, Lex has been giving me the slip for a while now. Just teaching him a lesson, that’s all.”
“Next time you lay a finger on my brother, you’ll be breathing through a fucking tube.”
“You know the score, Dray. It’s how we’ve always worked, we don’t make exceptions. Either pay up or face the consequences,” he replies as his beady eyes hold mine.
