by Aaron Oster
Who the hell sticks a prison in the middle of a city? Are they stupid?
“Why don’t we try and take a different approach,” Emma said.
“Do you have something in mind?”
A devilish glint flashed in her eyes, and she gave him a wide grin.
“Remember the guildy we met after fighting that queen ant back near Shtut?”
Sam’s eyebrows went up a hair as he realized what she was getting at.
“You really think it’ll work?”
“Oh, you can count on it!”
28
It took them the better part of the day to get their plan together, and seeing as they were both cursed, they took the next day to scout the dungeon and get a lay of the land. Now, the two of them stood crouched in the shadow of a hay wagon, watching the prison entrance. Gordon lay a few feet away, looking like any ordinary dog, and Barry sat perched on a crenellation some fifty feet above the staircase.
The area before them was open, and the ground was bare and flat. A tall archway stood above the staircase and five guards sat underneath, looking bored and playing cards. The guardhouse stood off to one side, but from their observations the previous day, they knew no one would come to relieve these men for another couple of hours.
“You really think this’ll work?”
“You’ve asked about a hundred times,” Emma said, rolling her eyes. “If they like women, this will work.”
“But aren’t they enchanted?”
“Sure, but I thought we already decided that aside from their loyalties, nothing else about them really changed.”
Emma was right about that. Sam had commented that they still acted like normal people, not like the zombies he’d expected them to be. A rustle of cloth followed by a whiff of perfume reached them then, and Sam sat back to watch and see if their plan would work.
“Halt, who goes there?” called one of the guards.
Right on cue. Who comes up with these shitty lines anyway?
Two women, both extraordinarily beautiful and dressed in extremely revealing outfits, waltzed into the clearing. They were both human as Sam hadn’t wanted to take any risks. They were here for a single purpose, to distract the guards while they slipped in. Emma had outlined this plan back at the food stand and though he’d initially been against it, she’d convinced him it was necessary.
“Who us?” One of the sultry voices drifted back to them. “We’re just here to make sure you big boys get all the attention you deserve.”
“Strong men like you need a break,” said the other. “Guarding these prisoners must be awfully boring. Why don’t we keep you company?”
“Damn, they’re good,” Emma whispered, eyeing the two women jealously as they expertly manipulated the guards.
“Well, yeah. That’s what they do for a living, so it shouldn’t be a surprise,” Sam replied.
It had cost them a pretty gold to hire these two. Fifteen each, in fact, which was an exorbitant fee, but one that he hoped would be worth it.
“We do work pretty hard,” one of the men said, staring straight at their cleavage and nothing else.
“It’s like they’re magic or something!” Emma hissed, watching the women do their work.
Back on Earth, prostitution, at least in the US and most first-world counties, was illegal. Here, though, it seemed to be not only accepted but a thriving and sometimes admired profession. Even with all the women in this world being stupidly hot for no apparent reason, these two really stood out, and the guards did not fail to notice.
Sam also couldn’t help but admire their work. They were very good at what they were doing, pulling the guards’ attention and dragging them slowly away from the entrance without them even realizing it. They paid equal attention to them all, touching their arms and laughing at their awful jokes or attempts to flirt. Whenever the women sensed one of the guards feeling left out, they immediately switched their attention.
“Alright, let’s get ready to move,” he whispered when the hired women led them far enough away from the entrance to leave it unguarded.
“We really shouldn’t leave the entrance. The Sergeant will be mad if we do,” one of the men said, causing Sam to freeze.
“Oh.” The woman that was talking now put a finger on her plump lips and leaned forward. “I can go talk to him instead of you if you’d like.”
The man’s jaw dropped, and the other guards gave him death glares, daring him to send these beautiful and willing women away.
“On second thought, I’m sure the Sergeant wouldn’t mind,” the guard said quickly.
The woman wrapped her arms around one of his, squeezing close to him and giving him a wink.
“Then how about you follow us to that barn over there, and we can get all…dirty together.”
The guard looked as though he were in heaven as the two women dragged them into the barn and pulled the door closed.
“Alright, we can go again,” Emma said. “What are you waiting for?”
“You go ahead,” Sam replied. “You’re faster and can reach the entrance first.”
Emma gave him a suspicious look but shrugged and did as he suggested. Sam let out a relieved sigh as he watched her cover the open ground and make it to the entrance. There was a good reason he hadn’t wanted to go first. Those women were really good at their jobs, and his little buddy had wanted to join the party. This was not the time, and he wanted to make sure that everyone remained on task.
Emma turned, waving him over, and Sam felt a moment of panic as he realized that he still wasn’t calmed down. He waved Gordon on, then Barry, but by the time his turn came again, his pal just wouldn’t take the hint.
A Master-level Mind Over All skill, and I still can’t control my libido.
Grumbling to himself, Sam rose, and, running in a half-crouch, dashed across the open ground. However, when he reached the other side, he had little choice but to straighten. Emma would be suspicious and figure it out if he didn’t anyway, so it didn’t make a difference. As he’d already known, Emma’s eyes immediately went down to the very noticeable vertical tent.
Her eyes came back up to meet his, and a playful smirk touched her lips.
“Not. A. Word,” Sam said and walked right past her.
She’d told him she wasn’t very forward on the night they’d been held prisoner back in the Quagmire. And even though she dressed a bit more modestly now, she wasn’t acting any differently. In fact, ever since he’d told her he wasn’t interested in her that way, she’d been getting worse.
“Not forward, my ass,” he muttered to himself.
Clearly, he hadn’t spoken quietly enough, since Emma chuckled a moment later.
Thankfully, they were in enemy territory, so she soon quieted, and as they descended deeper into the darkness, his raging hormones finally decided to cut him some slack. It was so silent that Sam jumped when a notification flashed into view.
SKILL RANK UP!
Congratulations! Your Night Owl skill has advanced from Novice to Beginner!
Night Owl: Much like the predator of the night, you too prefer to do your business under cover of darkness
Level: Beginner 11 (12%)
Effect: +35% Increased vision in darkness or near darkness, Movement noise decreased by 10%
Fucking Overlord, almost gave me a heart attack!
Sam clutched at his chest, feeling his heart pounding a mile a minute.
“Why’d we stop?” Emma whispered.
“No reason. Let’s keep moving,” he replied, continuing down the stairs.
His vision had indeed gotten better from his advancement, and he could now see a bit more clearly. He had to wonder why there were no torches on this very long staircase. There was no way anyone without special skills could see. In fact, the only reason they were able to go down was due to both he and Gordon possessing night vision.
Gordon’s ability to see in the dark was far better than Sam’s. The dog could see just as well as if it were ligh
t outside, and he was the one guiding Emma. Barry was perched on her shoulder, so he didn’t really need to see anything. Still, it had to be scary to be walking down stairs when it was so dark you couldn’t see anything at all.
It was good that Gordon was with them too, because the stairs didn’t lead straight down. They curved, moving in a wide circular pattern that cut off sight from the entrance almost as soon as they came in. He was beginning to wonder how much longer this thing would go on when a glimmer of light reflected off the wall ahead.
Finally, he thought, speeding up his pace a bit.
The staircase grew ever brighter until it leveled out, revealing a narrow corridor with a heavy steel gate at the other end. Torches lined the walls here, leaving the guards sitting behind the grate a clear view of anyone heading toward them. Sam hated to admit it, but this was a very well thought out design.
Even if the guards up top failed, the ones down here would still be able to stop anyone from getting in. Not to mention that the curving stairs allowed defenders to more easily hold off anyone trying to get in. He’d noticed the stairs curving to the left instead of the right on his way down and had thought it odd. However, with the long open stretch before the prison proper, it made a lot more sense.
The corridor was narrow, allowing for maybe two people to walk abreast at the same time. Even if they could both manage to fit, only one would be able to fight. Sam pulled back slightly and, in a low voice, explained what he saw.
“That does indeed pose a problem,” Gordon said, sniffing at the air. “And there are too many conflicting scents for me to get exact numbers.”
“Oh, come on. What we need to do is obvious,” Emma said, butting into the conversation.
“It is?” asked Sam and Gordon as one.
“Gordon, you go up to the grate. Sure, it’ll be weird, but you’re a dog, so they won’t suspect you. Then, you can use your Shadow Attack ability to take them down and open the gate for us.”
Sam, who’d opened his mouth to object, snapped it shut. Of all people, he hadn’t expected Emma to come up with another plan. No offense to her, but she’d always been the muscle of their little group, seeming far more suited to just hitting things than doing any planning.
“I am pleasantly surprised,” Gordon said. “I do believe that it is a sound plan. Very well. I shall go and get us those keys.”
Emma’s grin was so bright it could have lit up the staircase.
“Yeah, that was the second good plan in a row. You’re on a roll.”
“You bet your ass I am,” she replied, slugging him lightly in the arm.
Sam winced as he staggered forward, just barely managing to catch himself before falling into the hallway. Gordon was already trotting down, tongue lolling out and tail wagging. The guards had their attention squarely fixed on him, so they would undoubtedly have seen Sam had he fallen.
“What was that for?” he hissed, rubbing at the sore spot on his arm.
“Sorry,” Emma replied. “Forgot my strength.”
Sam checked his HP, noting that 3 points had been shaved off. Seeing as he had an Armor Rating of 41, it was a frightening prospect. If a single off-handed punch could dish out that much damage, how much could she do with a real attack? He didn’t want to think about it, so instead, he focused on Gordon as he stopped before the gate.
By now, the guards were standing, and though Sam could only see two through the gate, he had a feeling there were more. Unfortunately, they were still too far away so he couldn’t see their levels.
“Get ready to make a dash for the gate,” he whispered. “Gordon might need our help.”
Emma nodded and moved to take up a position in front of him. As a Mage, he’d be useless up front, and because of the narrow corridor, it would be better for Emma, who had a much higher HP and Agility to lead.
“Oy, Chris, you seein’ what I’m seein’?”
“Aye, Chad, I am seein’ what you’s seein’”
Sam just shook his head, wondering if these people were born stupid or if they just became that way when they signed up to be guards.
Just then, Gordon vanished, and the two of them blinked in surprise. However, the shock was short-lived as the dog exploded from Chris’s shadow and tore his throat out.
“Chris! No! You killed Chris! Why?!”
“Go!” Sam shouted, urging Emma forward as Gordon rounded on Chad.
“I do apologize, good sir. However, you are in our way, so I had little choice.”
Sam rolled his eyes as he heard Gordon’s apology. No one could understand him, so all the man would be hearing was barking.
“Back! Back, you beast! Help! Guards! He-ack!” The man’s cries were cut off as Gordon attacked him as well, silencing him forever.
Sam, Emma, and Barry reached the end of the corridor, only to discover that there had indeed only been two men guarding the gate.
“Here you are,” Gordon said, lifting the ring of keys in his mouth and holding them out for Emma.
“Who’s a good boy?” Emma cooed, scratching Gordon’s ears as she unlocked the door.
Sam found it very odd that Gordon didn’t think it was condescending to be petted and told what a good boy he was.
Then again, he is a dog. What more can I expect?
The door swung open and Gordon moved aside, still pushing his head into Emma’s hand, tail wagging excitedly.
With the main obstacle of getting in now out of the way, all they had to do was find the knights and get them out.
That shouldn’t be too hard, right? Sam thought as he walked through the gate. After all, how big could a medieval prison be?
29
“Holy shit, this place is huge!”
Sam looked around, wide-eyed at the massive, multi-level circular area before him. They were standing on the top level, but looking down, he could see row after row of cells, ending with an open area at the bottom. Rows of walkways lined the walls and guards patrolled along in groups of three to five, making sure all the prisoners were in their cells.
“This place looks more like a modern supermax prison than any medieval ones,” Emma said, equally as shocked.
Sam just nodded dumbly, realizing that the difficulty of their mission had just increased tenfold.
“There must be records of the prisoners and where they are being kept,” Gordon said, noting their distress. “If my guess is correct, it will most likely be in the Warden’s office on the bottom level.”
Leaning over the rail, Sam could indeed see another gated-off area behind which several small figures in guard uniforms lounged.
“I’ll give you one guess who the warden will be,” Emma said.
Sam let out a sigh, already knowing how this was likely going to go.
“Alright. We need a way down there, one that preferably doesn’t involve bringing the entire prison guard down on us.”
“How about we steal a couple of keys from the guards and let some prisoners out to start a riot?” Emma asked.
When Sam turned to give her a look, she shrugged.
“What? It always works in the movies.”
“It is a good plan,” Gordon said. “If we can concentrate the guards in a single area on the opposite side of the prison, we can more easily access the warden’s office and have fewer enemies in our way.”
“Maybe you should take over planning from now on,” Sam said. “I don’t seem to be coming up with anything lately.”
“Don’t feel bad,” Emma said, patting him condescendingly on the head. “You’ll get there eventually.”
“When is that boost to my intelligence coming, anyway?” he muttered. “It’s been a few days since it topped 100 points.”
“Perhaps three or four days,” Gordon replied. “Remember, you lost two days when you were cursed, so the change will have been delayed.”
Blowing out a frustrated breath, Sam vaulted over the small gate and dropped down ten feet, wincing at the jarring impact.
“You could h
ave used the ladder,” Gordon said, dropping down next to him.
Emma dropped next, landing easily and without so much as a sound, and Barry fluttered down after to land on her shoulder.
“I think it would be best if we begin over there and work our way across,” Gordon said, gesturing to a spot halfway across the ramp.
There was a single patrol currently making their way toward them, and another coming up from the rear. They hadn’t been noticed yet, but it wouldn’t be long until they were. Sam crouched, pushing himself up against the wall and using his Stalker skill. It was night outside, so he should make 20% less noise when he was moving if combined with the Night Owl skill.
“I think you should stay here, Sam,” Emma said, crouching next to him and drawing her sword.
“Emma is right,” Gordon said before he could argue. “Your abilities are loud and flashy, hardly suited to stealth. Leave the sneaking and assassination to us.”
“Yeah, stay here like a good little bitch,” Barry snickered.
“Barry, you need to stay here, too,” Emma said. “Your feathers are too bright. You’ll give us away.”
“Who’s the bitch now?” Sam asked with a shit-eating grin as Emma and Gordon slunk off.
He was forced to quickly dodge out of the way as the bird launched himself forward. There was a splat as his fecal missile hit the floor, missing Sam by less than an inch.
“Missed me, you damn pest!” Sam hissed, flipping the bird off, only to catch a wet and smelly wad right in the face.
Sam resisted – just barely – the urge to scream in rage. They were in enemy territory, and if they got caught, they could be killed.
“I’m going to roast you alive one of these days!” he hissed, watching the bird land on the railing above and flip him off.
Sam didn’t have any spare cloths or handkerchiefs, so he was forced to use his old shirt to wipe his face clean. The entire time he worked, he thought of the myriad ways he could end the bird. It was only then that he remembered about the second guard patrol and scrambled up the ladder to hide.
