Even if he could, he’d never forget she was once married to his brother. He’d never forget she was having Alex’s child.
“I’m fine. Just a little indigestion. It must have been the chocolate.”
Brock came over beside her chair and looked at the plaque. “You did a great job with that, Molly.”
“Thanks,” she said, giving him a bright smile. An adoring, I-think-you’re-master-of-the-world smile. Kylie knew the feeling.
After Brock made hot chocolate, he joined them for a few minutes, engaging in small talk and answering Molly’s questions about Feather.
When there was a lull in the conversation, Molly said to Kylie, “Uncle Seth asked about you. He told me to wish you a very merry Christmas, and said maybe he’d see you at the First Night celebration. You are going, aren’t you?”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” Kylie assured her. “But is your mom going to let you stay up that late?”
“We’ll let her watch the mustang run through town. Then we’ll put her to bed.” She checked her watch. “Honey, we really have to go.”
“We’re having a party tonight and we have to get ready,” Molly explained, looking happy about it.
Kylie was glad to see that the ten-year-old’s mood had lightened considerably, and she seemed almost her normal self. Christmas could do that.
Ten minutes later, Molly and her mom were leaving and Kylie was standing on the porch waving to them as they drove out the lane.
Brock slid his hands into his back pockets and stared into the distance away from the barn up into the Painted Peaks. “Maybe tonight I’ll drop you off at Shaye’s and then pick you up after the church service.”
Kylie had explained to Brock she always spent Christmas Eve with Gwen and Shaye. They had, of course, also invited him to a party at Shaye’s and then they’d all attend the midnight service at church.
“I thought you were going to go along with me.”
“I never said that.”
She sighed. “No, I guess you didn’t. I should have guessed you…wouldn’t want to go.”
He frowned, looking miffed at her tone. “You’re going to a party with your friends, Kylie. You said you’ve spent every Christmas Eve with them since you were a kid. Why would I want to barge into that?”
“Maybe because you are my friend, too? Maybe because Dylan and Garrett haven’t been with us all those years, but they’re part of our circle now.”
“I’m not part of your circle.”
“You could be,” she said plainly. And boldly. She wasn’t sure what she was doing, but her realization that she loved Brock Warner was roiling inside of her until she had to let something out.
Instead of rebutting her claim, he simply asked, “What are you trying to do, Kylie?”
A shiver ran through her, more from the seriousness of their conversation than the cold. “I’m not trying to do anything, except maybe make Christmas a little easier for both of us.”
“Do you think me spending time with your friends will make it easier?”
“I think friendship is one of the gifts I appreciate most at Christmas. Why can’t you open your life and your heart a little so you’re not walling everyone out?”
“When did this become about me?” he asked brusquely. “You want to go to a party. You want to go to church services. Fine. I’ll be your chauffeur.”
Abruptly she turned away from him and said over her shoulder, “I don’t need a chauffeur. I’m quite capable of driving myself. Stay home and brood if you want, Brock. But on Christmas Eve, I’m going to be with the people I love.”
As she stalked into the house, she heard him swear. But he didn’t come after her. She was halfway through the living room when she realized the door was still hanging open and Brock had headed for the barn.
She felt like crying.
But she wasn’t going to let even a few tears fall. She had Christmas presents to wrap and her famous chili dip to make to take along to the party. Just because her heart hurt, just because she had feelings for Brock that could never go anywhere, didn’t mean she couldn’t rise above all of it.
Her hand on her stomach, she felt her baby move. This baby was what Christmas was all about.
As Brock mucked out Feather’s stall, he knew he’d handled everything about that encounter with Kylie badly. Every encounter with her lately seemed to end with acid burning in his stomach. Or his chest tight. Or his body revved up beyond rationality. There was no way he was letting her drive into town alone tonight. No way at all.
When Dix came into the barn, he asked, “Anything else you want me to do before I leave?”
Dix was driving to Cody to spend Christmas Eve with some relatives and staying overnight.
“No, we’re caught up here. If you want to take off, go ahead.”
“I have something to give Kylie first. Is she napping or anything?”
Brock practically guffawed. “Napping? I doubt that.”
“Did you two have another go-around?” Dix asked perceptively.
Brock stopped shoveling. “She sure as hell has a mind of her own.”
Although he tried hard, Dix couldn’t suppress his grin. “That’s news?”
Brock pushed his hat back farther on his head with the handle of the shovel, then propped it beside him. “I suppose not. But she sure digs in her heels when she gets an idea in her head.”
“When Alex was alive, if she hadn’t dug in her heels, they’d have lost this place altogether.”
“After she sells a few sections, she’ll be fine,” Brock offered.
“Do you think so?” Dix asked, as if he didn’t.
“Sure. Alex’s baby will give her the motivation to make this place as good as it once was.”
“That’s the way you think of this baby she’s carrying? As Alex’s child?”
“That’s what it is.”
“This is Kylie’s baby. The last time Alex left, he didn’t want any part of it. Kylie will always remember that.”
“He wrote her a letter before he died. He was going to try to make things right. She just got it in a package of stuff from the motel.”
“I don’t think one letter could make everything that was wrong between them right. Do you?”
“I don’t know. That depends on how well Kylie can believe everything would have turned out for the best if he’d have come home.”
In the silence, Brock heard the twist and squeal of the weathervane on the barn being blown by the wind. Taking the shovel in hand once more, he started back to work. “Do you mind if I ask what you got her for Christmas?”
“I don’t mind. But I didn’t buy her anything. I braided a halter for Feather. With my fingers getting stiff, it took a while. But it turned out okay.”
Brock had always admired Dix’s work. But with the outdoor chores, the cold and his age, his fingers weren’t as nimble as they once were. Brock was sure that hadn’t affected the quality of his work any. “I’m sure she’ll like it.”
“What are you getting her for Christmas?” Dix asked, wanting to know.
“Fifty head of prime Angus to be delivered in the spring, a new coat and that surprise in the tractor shed.”
“You think she’s going to accept fifty head of Angus?”
“She’ll accept them. She might be stubborn, but she’d never hurt my feelings by not accepting my gift.”
Dix chuckled. “You’re smart, boy, I’ll give you that. You have a good Christmas. I’ll be back tomorrow evening.”
If Brock was smart, he wouldn’t be here now. If he was smart, he’d leave—sooner rather than later. But smart somehow got trampled by regrets and duty and a need he still didn’t understand to be here right now.
An hour later, after Brock had heard Dix’s truck rumble out the lane, he returned to the house. Kylie stood at the kitchen table, rolls of wrapping paper and spools of ribbon stacked on one chair. She was carefully folding what looked like a shawl and arranging it in a tissue-lined box.
/> “Did you make that?” he asked, more to make conversation than anything else.
“Yes. It’s for Gwen. She loves shawls.”
“That doesn’t look knitted,” he noticed.
“No, it’s crocheted.” The yarn was multicolored green and the wrap almost looked lacelike.
“Did you make Shaye’s present, too?”
“I did. It’s a leather purse with a beaded fringe.”
“Are you going to exchange gifts tonight?”
“Yes, we are. I could just add your name to mine on the presents. Or are you still determined to spend Christmas Eve alone?”
Did he want to spend Christmas Eve alone? Or was he willing to jump into this circle of Kylie’s, even if only for a short time?
Chapter Nine
“Great place you’ve got here,” Brock told Dylan on Christmas Eve.
Brock had escaped the merriment of the Christmas party in the living room for a few minutes, but when he’d gotten to the kitchen, he’d found Dylan deep in the recesses of the refrigerator. He supposed being here tonight with Kylie’s friends was better than sitting at Saddle Ridge rehashing the fact that last year he’d gone skiing to avoid the holidays after he and Marta had split up.
Emerging from the refrigerator with a baby bottle, Dylan straightened. “We like it. Timmy will have room to roam, and we have an extra bedroom for more kids.”
“Did you build this?”
“Oh, no,” Dylan replied with a shake of his head. “We decided to buy a house right after we got married. Building would have taken too long. This had been constructed as someone’s vacation home, but the couple only kept it for two years and decided to sell because of the way real estate had boomed in the area. Kylie said she’s planning on selling off some acreage. She could get good money for it.”
“That’s what we’re hoping.”
“We’re glad you decided to come tonight.” Dylan ran hot water over the baby bottle.
“Kylie twisted my arm,” Brock replied truthfully.
Dylan laughed. “She can do that by raising an eyebrow, can’t she?”
“Yep, she sure can.”
“Are you going to be her coach for the baby?”
“No,” was the answer that erupted from Brock’s mouth, as if that was the most preposterous notion in the whole world. “Whatever gave you that idea?”
“Gwen mentioned Kylie was going to have a home birth. I thought since you were there…”
“Isn’t that why the midwife is going to be there?” He still wasn’t happy with the whole idea of a home birth.
“She’ll be attending to Kylie and the baby. And she probably will coach if nobody else does.”
“I don’t know a thing about babies. Or about pregnant women,” Brock added wryly.
Dylan chuckled. “I imagine one is as complicated as the other. Kylie might ask Gwen to coach since babies are her business.” After a pause, he added, “Once I made up my mind to do it, I learned about babies really fast.”
When Brock considered the reality that Dylan would be raising his sister’s son, he wondered if Dylan felt like a real dad. He surely acted like one.
As if Dylan had read Brock’s thoughts, he confided, “I can’t wait until the adoption is final. It took me a few months to come to grips with wanting to be a dad, but after I did, there was no turning back. I can’t imagine my life without Timmy.”
“If you and Shaye have kids of your own, do you think it will be different?”
“You mean what I feel?” He shook his head. “Nope. Timmy’s my son, and Shaye’s…in every sense of the word. Along with him come all the memories of my sister and her husband. If anything, I feel even more bonded to him, more protective of him because of that.”
“Kylie will remember Alex that way every time she looks at her baby.” That was a fact Brock couldn’t escape.
Turning off the water spigot, Dylan faced Brock. “I’m not sure that’s the same thing at all.”
“What do you mean?”
Looking conflicted, Dylan shook his head. “Alex was your brother. I shouldn’t say anything.”
“He was my brother, but my eyes were wide open where he was concerned.”
Still Dylan didn’t plunge into what he’d been thinking. “My memories of Julia and Will are all good ones. But Kylie and Alex—”
“Kylie stayed with my brother because she loved him.”
“Yes, she did,” Dylan responded. “But when I returned to Wild Horse, there was a sadness in Kylie. There still is now because she’s grieving. Back then, disappointment was mixed in. I remember there had been an article in the paper about Alex winning a rodeo purse. He hadn’t even told her about it. I mean, he was still out of town, I guess, but he hadn’t even called her. If I’d won something like that, I’d be on the phone to Shaye the next minute. So I guess what I’m saying is that Kylie’s probably carrying around a mixed bag of emotions where her marriage is concerned. When her baby’s born, I don’t think she’s going to want to dwell on that. She’s not that type of woman. She’s going to get on with her life.”
“You sound as if you know her pretty well.” Brock found himself a mite resentful of that.
“With Kylie and Shaye being best friends, along with Gwen, their friendship spilled over on me. Oh, they keep their secrets, but I almost feel kind of brotherly toward Kylie. Do you know what I mean?”
“I guess I do.”
“Even with Gwen.” Dylan shook his head. “If it hadn’t been for her, I might not have realized I wanted to marry Shaye for my sake as well as Timmy’s. She read me the riot act one day like a sister would.”
“You didn’t have a problem with her poking into your private business?”
“That’s just it, Brock. It wasn’t exactly private. Those three women have a bond the likes that I’ve rarely seen. They’re as protective of each other as we might be of them, so Gwen felt it was her business. I think of the three of them now, Kylie keeps the most to herself. But I’ll never forget the first day I really talked to her. It was at Timmy’s christening. She wasn’t judging me or what I was trying to do, and that meant a lot.”
“What you were trying to do?”
“Shaye was Timmy’s legal guardian, due to my sister’s will. When I decided I wanted to be his dad, Shaye’s family resented me complicating her life. Understandably, they didn’t want me to take Timmy away from her.”
“Sounds sticky,” Brock muttered.
“It was. But hard times sometimes cement relationships the way nothing else can.”
Did Brock feel a bond with Kylie because they knew each other’s history? Because they were part of each other’s history?
A crying baby’s wail sailed into the kitchen from the living room. “I think he’s tired of waiting.” Dylan dried off the bottle with a towel then crossed the room.
At the doorway he turned. “You might want to think about becoming Kylie’s coach. I hear watching a baby come into the world is an awesome experience.”
Then Dylan was gone and Brock was left with his troubled thoughts.
“May peace fill our hearts as we lift our voices in song.”
The minister blessed the congregation and everyone opened their hymnals for the last hymn of the midnight service.
Next to Kylie, Brock heard the feeling she put into every word as her sweet voice floated high above his. He joined in. After all, it was Christmas Eve. Didn’t everyone want to feel their hearts swell a bit on this night?
Instead of swelling, however, Brock’s heart hurt. When he saw the tears rolling down Kylie’s cheeks, it hurt even more. For her. For him. For Alex. For this baby.
More than anything, he wanted to put his arm around her, bring her close to him, let her know he was there. But he had no right to do that. He certainly didn’t want to start gossip that she’d have to live with after he was gone. So he stood stoically beside her, letting his arm brush hers, as if that could give some small measure of comfort.
She glanced at him.
Their gazes met, and Brock felt the earth shift just a little bit more.
The church was an old one, built in the late 1800s. But the pews were shiny, as if someone had just polished them yesterday. As the churchgoers finished their songs, closed their hymnals and filed out of the pews, Brock took a long, last look at the poinsettias decorating the front of the church…the nativity scene in the corner…the baby in the manger.
Once they stood in the vestibule, he noticed Dylan hooked his arm around his wife, while Shaye stood rocking Timmy, who was asleep. Gwen, Garrett and Tiffany gave hugs all around, and Brock found himself included in their warm friendliness. Since Kylie had gotten hot during the service, she’d shed her coat. Now it hung loosely over her shoulders and, as someone brushed past them, it fell to the floor.
Brock stooped to pick it up. Holding it for her, he was aware of how pretty she looked tonight in her plaid dress. The peachy scent of her shampoo or lotion or whatever she wore was one he couldn’t get out of his senses, even when he wasn’t around her. It was homey and erotic at the same time, and it suited her perfectly. He just wished the scent didn’t carry with it the powerful memories of their kiss.
As he held her coat for her, she slipped one arm into it. “Thank you,” she murmured. When she caught the other arm, he noticed a gold chain around her neck. It wasn’t very heavy and whatever dangled from it was hidden under her dress. It was hard for him to let go of the coat and not put his arms around her.
The moment was abruptly broken by Seth Buchanan, who came up to Kylie and did exactly what Brock had been thinking about doing. Only Seth was free and easy about the whole thing.
As he hugged Kylie and kissed her on the cheek, he said, “Glad to see you could make it. I thought maybe you’d be sticking close to home.”
Not at all thrown by Seth’s sign of affection, Kylie hugged him back. “I have a month or so. My due date’s January twenty-ninth, but with the first baby, I understand anything could happen.”
“Are you ready for it to be over?”
Wrinkling her nose, she considered his question. “In a way I am. But in another way, this time is precious. I can’t wait to meet him or her, but I’ll never go through a first pregnancy again, either.”
Expecting His Brother's Baby (Baby Bonds #3) Page 14
