by Anna Antonia
“True, but I’m not perfect, Emma. Never that.”
“You are to me.”
Gabriel caressed my body. His fingers traced the curve of my hip and thigh. “I’m selfish, you know. I don’t like to see you in pain even as I inflict it. Do you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because the only pain I want you to feel is the kind that comes from playing. Not from punishment. Are you going to have to be punished anytime soon?”
I responded to the warning growl with a soft “No.”
My answer seemed to please Gabriel. “You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?”
“Sometimes.”
“Be a good girl for me now. Can you do that for me, Emma?” When I promised, he instructed, “Don’t feel guilty about leaving, Emma. You did what you had to. Now you feel better, don’t you?”
Although only a few in total, each strike of the belt had forced me to remember everything—my overwhelming emotions and what I knew my abandonment had done to Gabriel again. The difference was each strike also made it okay for me to forgive myself. Atonement at its most brutally basic sense.
The entire experience truly was cathartic.
“I do feel so much better.” I curled into him, crying softly. “How did you know I needed this?”
He kept his hand soothing and always in motion. “Because I’ve only watched you, oh, since forever. You have a love affair with guilt. This was the best way I knew how to make you break it.”
“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I’m sorry for making all the decisions for us by myself.”
He nuzzled my ear while stroking his hand over my hot bottom. “Ssh, Emma. It’s over. You don’t have to carry this with you anymore.”
Already feeling the tears recede, I cupped the back of his head and exhaled a long breath. “I thought I’d already gotten it out.”
“How about now?”
I probed the memories of the last few days. Nothing was too sore to linger over.
“I feel…good.”
“Show me.”
I wiggled out from underneath Gabriel and positioned myself back on my hands and knees. Shyly, I looked over my shoulder. “I want you to do what you said at dinner.”
***
“My space, my rules. Be glad I gave you any warning at all. I could’ve just bent you over the table, pulled down your pants, and used my belt against your sweet, naughty tail before I fucked you until you screamed my name.”
***
He regarded me with a sensuous sweep of his gaze. “Really? You’d have to be spanked again, Emma, for me to do it right. I don’t know if you can handle it just yet…”
“I can. Please? Can I prove it to you, Sir? I’ll be so good. I promise.”
Demon’s pleasure darkened his gaze. “How can I turn down such a pretty promise from such a beautiful girl?”
Better than the fantasy, Gabriel then picked up his belt and proceeded to give me the spanking of my life before following it up with the best orgasm I’d yet to receive.
He held my long hair tight in his fist as he pounded me ruthlessly. My bottom was surely red and definitely tender, but the combination of his large cock in me and the soreness from getting spanked, felt so damned good. I never would’ve thought I’d enjoyed being taking so thoroughly, especially when Gabriel brought out the bottle of lubrication.
Rolling my clit between the fingers of one hand while the other slid inside my rosette, all the while keeping his hips’ steady thrusting, oh…words couldn’t do justice to the ecstasy.
Gabriel prepared me so well that I was begging for it long before he finally slid inside my tight ass inch by breathtaking inch. Only when he was fully inside up to the hilt, only then did I feel truly felt possessed. Especially when his clever fingers reached around me and filled my wet core to near-bursting.
It was brutal and lovely.
I screamed his name at the end before collapsing against his hold. Gabriel joined me only a few minutes later.
Sweaty and sleepy, we lay loosely in the sheets. Both areas between my legs felt tender and wonderfully stimulated. I didn’t think I’d be able to move one inch for a while.
“Thank you, Gabriel.”
“Mmm, I should be thanking you. You were so incredible, Emma. I’m not sure if I’ve already died and gone to heaven. If so, I regret nothing.”
“Did I please you?” I asked shyly.
“Very much so.” His long leg slung over mine much shorter one. “Although this is as much for me as it is for you, Emma.”
“Hmm…”
Gabriel kissed the corner of my temple. “Are you going to sleep, baby?”
I yawned. “Hmm…no. Not yet. I’m still here. What did you say again?”
“This is as much for me as it is for you.”
Stroking the fine hair on his forearm, I murmured, “How so?”
“I can be free with you. You can see my darkness and you don’t run away from it. I don’t have to keep my life cleaved so neatly in half.”
“I told you that it wasn’t going to be sustainable.”
I threw a silent thanks to Gretchen for eventually taking me in her confidence. She’d prepared me for this long before either of us ever imagined I’d be in a D/s relationship.
“Yes, yes. You most certainly did.” Gabriel planted another kiss on my head for being “a know-it-all.” He then continued sharing his secrets with me.
“Doing this with you, letting this side of myself out with someone I love so much, it’s heaven on earth, Emma. Truly it is. I know you don’t judge me and you’re not trying to heal or fix me.”
“You can’t, can you?” Gabriel’s silence went on so long I was worried I’d inadvertently offended him. I looked up at him and saw the faraway look in his eyes. “Gabriel?”
“What? Sorry.” He squeezed me and answered, “What did you ask? Ah, I remember.” Gabriel’s mouth tightened before easing into a slight smile. “Do you want me to be fixed?”
A question with a question.
He must’ve been feeling vulnerable. It was my turn to think about what to say. I thought back on everything, from the first time I saw him at school and everything that happened in-between. Our first meeting in the elevator, the benefit, and all the fun we had that weekend.
Embry.
I remembered that secret luncheon with a pang. I still didn’t like how Gabriel went behind my back to see her again. And I liked even less what had come out that day.
At the time I thought it was because Gabriel was the “D” in a D/s relationship, but I now knew it was because he was close to someone in a way I didn’t think he ever could with me.
I didn’t think I was capable of being what he needed. As I was still learning, Gabriel showed me time and time again that I was far more than I ever imagined.
Strong, vulnerable. Accepted.
“I would never want you to be fixed. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you and I like you as you are.”
“Warts and all?”
“Warts and all.”
“Even though I come from a damaged family, have a warped, fixated way of loving you, and was a man-whore for too many years to count—”
I covered his mouth with my hand. It was my turn to say, “Ssh. Your way works for me. It might not work for another woman but it doesn’t have to. It just needs to work for me.”
He smiled and nodded. “Okay. Gabriel Gordon is perfect for Emma Adams only.”
“Good. We’re a pair, you and I.”
“A pair of slippers.”
“That’s right.” Gabriel cleared his throat. “And, uh, it only works the other way too.”
I looked down, pleased and tickled all at once. “Of course.”
“Say the words, Emma.”
“Emma Adams is perfect for Gabriel Gordon only.”
My love smirked and preened. He really could be such a little boy sometimes. He turned and looked over at the bedside clock. “Do you want to go back to the house to f
reshen up?”
Sighing, I admitted, “I’d rather stay here.”
“Me too. We can’t though. Not if you want to make your flight.”
I waited for him to try to convince me to stay. Gabriel merely looked at me with the tiniest hint of a sad smile. Suddenly, I felt sad too.
“I’m going to miss you so much, Gabriel. You know that, right?”
“Me too, Emma Adams-soon-to-be-Gordon.”
Predictably, my heart somersaulted in my chest. “You really have to stop that, Gordon. You’re going to give me a heart attack soon.”
Gabriel slid over me and kissed my naked chest. “Oh, I can’t have that, Adams. You’re supposed to live until every hair on this body is white.”
“Oh, don’t remind me!” I groaned. “I’ll be so old by then.”
“Nonsense. You’ll have a lifetime of stories to share with our undoubtedly spoiled grand and great-grandchildren. I also plan on us having a healthy sex life until one of us drops dead.”
The things he said to me! “But what if one or both of us get sick?”
“Then we’ll talk dirty to each other to compensate.” He waggled his brows for effect. “Our nurses will definitely be taught the lesson that sex was not invented by the under-25 set.”
I didn’t mind getting older if that was what I could look forward to. Forever and always with the first and only man I’d ever loved.
“Are we going to be happy, Gabriel?”
“The happiest.”
“You won’t ever get tired of me?”
He scoffed. “Impossible. You’re the love of my life.”
“What about later? When I have wrinkles and things are softer and going south, what then? You’ll still be distinguished and I’ll just be old.”
Gabriel checked the bedside clock again. “Damnit!”
I startled at his yell. “What?”
“We just don’t have enough time.” He turned back to me with a deep frown, although his beautiful eyes sparkled with black humor. “You were setting yourself up for another spanking, Emma. A big one too at that! You wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week. You’d spend all your time in Paris on your feet. Luck must be on your side tonight.”
“What’d I do to get a theoretical spanking?”
He came close until we were nose-to-nose. “For even suggesting that I would be a douchebag, asshole of a man who’d only see you for your physical self. Unless you missed it, Emma, I happen to love all of you. Not just your smokin’ hot body.”
“You like my brain too?”
“I love your brain.”
“I love your brain too.” Boldly, I reached out and cupped him between his legs. “I love this too.”
“Back at ya, baby.” Gabriel squeezed me firmly. Arching into his hand, I wished that we had at least another hour. He kissed my neck, nibbling and nipping it at will. I was so close to tearing my tickets up and just staying here with him.
“I’m feeling like a caveman, Emma. I’m having that urge to keep you here all to myself.”
“Mmm, I can’t say I’d fight you too hard. Really.”
His tongue licked a tingling path up to my ear. “But my baby wants to go to Paris. Although if I have to put you on a plane, I’d rather put you there covered with my scent.”
I firmly stroked his hardening shaft, definitely feeling naughty. “Maybe I can arrange that. I could kiss you here,” I whispered with a tug. “And then you could cover me with your come.”
Gabriel stiffened. “Baby! That was so lewd!” He threaded his fingers through my hair. “And so damn hot! Are you serious?”
I proceeded to show him exactly how serious I was. And all with a smile.
* * *
We showered and hauled tail back to the Rosenburgs’ house, or make that the Adams’ house, before getting dressed and heading back out onto the road. Although we made it in record time, it was still hard to part from me.
Dressed in a pinstriped black suit, crisp white shirt, and charcoal overcoat, Gabriel was a gorgeous sight who insisted on accompanying me as far as he could without a ticket. I couldn’t help but notice the glances and stares he received from both women and men. I didn’t blame them. I barely kept the drool from spilling over myself.
No man should be this handsome. It has to go against all the laws of nature.
We didn’t have long before I was going to need to get going with the intimidating routine of checking in. Seeing that it was my first time flying commercial, I wanted to give myself plenty of time to navigate this world. I’d heard too many TSA horror stories to feel at ease about the process.
That coupled with leaving Gabriel behind made Paris seem like not a lot of fun.
Apparently, my love felt the same.
“Baby, I’m going to miss you like crazy.”
My heart turned over. “I’m going to miss you too.”
He reached for my hand. “I’ll see you the day after tomorrow. Think you can keep out of trouble until then?”
I bit my lip to keep my guilty smile from getting out. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”
“Nope. Now I have something to hold over your head for the next fifty years.”
“I guess that’s only fair.”
Gabriel grinned and erased the small distance between us. He brushed a chaste kiss on my mouth. “Emma, thank you.”
This was a surprise. I expected him to keep up our game of tease. “For what?”
“For everything. For loving me. For being my future, forever wife.”
I blushed. “You haven’t even asked me yet.”
“I know.” He winked, audacious as always. “But we both know the answer, don’t we?”
I turned my nose up in the air. “I won’t answer that. You’re already spoiled enough, Gordon. Can’t have you thinking I’m a sure thing. I might decide I’d rather live in sin with you.”
Gabriel laughed and hugged me, swinging me in a circle. “That’s my girl. Always quick to keep me in line.”
“I thought you were keeping me in line.”
Another kiss and then he said, “Oh, yes. That too. Most definitely.”
We stood there, embracing the other tightly, when I looked over his shoulder and saw the electronic clock. “It’s time for me to go, Gabriel.” I sighed with regret.
“You sure you won’t reconsider taking my plane?”
It was tempting for sure but I was an uncommonly stubborn girl. “Thank you, but I’ve already got my ticket.”
Resignation dropped his shoulders. “And you pay your own way. Gotcha.” A devilish glint appeared in his gorgeous eyes. “But one day you won’t be able to refuse my pampering, Emma. It’ll be private jets for you all the way.”
I gripped his lapels and pulled him close. “I look forward to it, Gabriel. Especially that back bedroom.”
He groaned and dropped his head back. “Like I said, Emma. You are the true sadist in this relationship.”
I wasn’t inclined to argue with him on this particular point.
Reluctantly, we kissed one last time. His scent filled me, becoming the aroma of my desire. I loved Gabriel so much, but although I was nervous about the problems we faced, this parting was unlike any of the others.
I knew I would see him again. I knew that no matter how many times we parted, we’d always find each other again.
No matter what.
“Baby, your team is going to be there with you in Paris.”
“Yeah, I figured.”
“Remember—you won’t even know they’re there unless you need to. They’ll keep you safe.”
“I know. You all work so hard to keep me safe.”
“That we do.” Gabriel pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight. “It’s so hard for me to let you go again, Emma. The last time I said goodbye…”
Oh, my love. I’m so sorry.
I spoke my regret out loud. “I’m so sorry I hurt you like that, Gabriel. I will make it up to you.”
&nb
sp; He exhaled and kissed my cheek. “See you soon, baby. Go now.” Gabriel patted my back and stepped away.
Leaning in for another quick caress, I secured my rolling suitcase. “Call me if something changes, okay?”
“Will do. I’ll make sure to dial ‘Bad Emma’.”
I smirked and kissed my fingers. “I’ll keep my phone on. Text me if you can’t call.” Turning away from Gabriel, I strode away. My heart squeezed with each step, but I reminded myself of my newly discovered simple truth.
There’s no need to cry. You’ll see him again.
Pausing before the escalators, I turned around to give him one last wave. Not surprisingly, Gabriel was still where I left him. He lifted his arm up. I mouthed the words, the words I never stopped feeling.
“I love you.”
SIXTEEN
I landed safely in Paris and arrived at my hotel yesterday without incident. It was a modestly priced place, located in the suburbs but only a five minute walk from the Metro. My trip with Gabriel to D.C. was helpful in exposing me to the world outside of my little bubble, but I was still a little nervous about traveling alone in another country.
Watching “Taken” didn’t help but I’d like to think I was a little too old to be prime merchandise. The security team was probably tailing behind me and would make sure I didn’t end up in a brothel somewhere in the world. Still, I didn’t talk to anyone male unless I could help it. My stone face seemed to ward off unnecessary conversation.
Speaking of stone face…
Lying back on the bed in my small, but functional, hotel room I thought about one of my last conversations with Gabriel before I left.
***
We were only an hour away from the airport when I said suddenly, “I saw the temp.”
“I know. She told me you took my flowers with you.”
“I did. I left them at my mom’s.”
“Did she like them?”
“Who?”
“Your mama.”
“Oh. Yes, she liked them. A lot actually.”
Gabriel nodded and declared, “Then she should have fresh flowers every week, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know…she doesn’t really like taking things from me so I don’t think she’d take anything from you. No offense.”
