I remember it too well. When I was staring at her lips. Her melodic voice lulled me into a calm as everything but her became fuzzy, my focus completely on her. The way her plump lips shaped the words, the sight of her tongue dancing around her mouth as she spoke. I wasn’t listening to a single word she said. The blood was rushing in my ears as I stared at her lips. I unconsciously licked my own lips. What would it be like? Would they be soft? Would they taste like strawberries?
I WAS drunk, and I knew she wouldn’t mind. I pulled her closer to me in a smooth movement as I clumsily melded my lips to hers. Okay, not my greatest moment. I mean, I don’t even like her, not really. And it’s cruel to kiss her like that when I have no intentions of being with her. Absolutely none.
That’s why I needed to leave. I couldn’t just use whatever emotions she had against her. That is cruel and unusual. I don’t want to hurt her, she is kind and warm, even if I don’t actually return her feelings.
No wonder she didn’t even text me in DAYS. She didn’t even want to see me.
Despite everything, I felt offended. I kissed her! She then just started ignoring me completely? Seriously, how dare she! I didn’t even get the chance to be forced into that awkward conversation where I tell her we would never work together.
I have half a mind to go over and chew her out over this issue before I got a call. "Leela? This is Amelia. I finished my marketing assignment! I am just so excited." She declared.
Her voice was higher pitched than usual. Whenever Claire would do that, I used to get so irritated by the sound. As long as it WAS Amelia, though, I found it adorable.
Disgusting.
How dare she do that to me?
I told her I was proud of her, the words coming out somehow even more mature than I actually was, and she asked me to come over for dinner. I found that weird. I mean, isn’t that a rule? Isn't dinner reserved for actual romantic dates? Friends are supposed to go to lunch or something. I was about to decline politely when she added, "Bandit misses you, I can tell. That's why I called!"
Rude. So she wouldn't have even called otherwise. I wanted to tell her off, but I replied: "Fine, see you tonight."
chapter 11
Don’t look at me like that! I didn’t think of this as any kind of date. At first. When I invited her it was just a celebration.
Maybe I can blame the margarita’s we had? The lower our inhibition’s got, the more fun it was to spend time together. So we kept drinking.
We laughed and we chatted. She is so pretty when she laughs. Her eyes glitter and her smile are so wide.
This time it definitely wasn’t me who kissed first. Her nimble fingers clutched my blouse as she pulled me to her roughly. Our noses banged due to her force, but she clearly didn’t care as she nipped and kissed my lips. My eyes fell shut as I pressed against her, straddling her hips as I pushed her down on the couch, kissing her with a bruising force. I wasn’t thinking about anything but the feel of her breasts.
Before it began, I was telling Leela this long winded story of me having broken my arm as a kid. Apparently, it was too long winded because, in the middle of my sentence, I felt her soft lips on mine.
Sensations are always so much more important than anything else. Her hot breath on my neck as she panted while rubbing against me, her nails clawing down my back, hard enough to leave her marks on me. The sting made me moan and go harder against her.
Aside from those sensations, my drunken brain retained nothing.
chapter 12
It was round three, or four? I had lost track. How could anyone pay proper attention when fucking such a beautiful woman. She took all my mind just to keep up with her.
How can someone be so… much. That is how to describe her. She is too much. She is always 100% up and ready, she’s adventurous and energetic and wild.
Maybe even too much.
"I've wanted this for so long," Amelia whispered to me. She was pressing kisses down my body, sucking marks into my skin. "You're all mine." She informed as she continued to scratch and bite her marks onto me.
“A-Amelia.” I whimpered, shivering as she teased me. How could she make me feel like this? She was so amazing and I would do anything for her in this moment.
I also wanted to rage to yell out the grand unfairness in this world. She had blindfolded me. I felt I would die without the sight of her nude form. Her soft caramel skin and her warm eyes darkened by passion, her pearly white teeth, and her smooth hair me messy by our encounter.
I was struggling. I NEEDED to be able to see her.
“Shhh.” She purred, "don't make me have to put a gag in your pretty little mouth." She purred in my ear. I couldn't help but shiver.
“But…” I weakly attempted to argue. “I need-“
She covered my mouth with her hand. “Oh, you just don’t understand,” She cooed, staring into my eyes. I’ve never seen anything more fiery and passionate. “You don’t actually want me to give you what you want. Because you don’t really want it. You really-“
I growled at her. I didn’t want her words. I wanted to feel her skin on mine as we are both brought to the brink of pleasure. I rolled us over roughly, caring nothing for possible injury to either of us.
“I knew it.” A voice sighed in my mind. It sounded uncomfortably like Claire. “A disappointment, really.” She sounded bemused, “and to think I suspected better of you.”
The next thing I knew, my arms were wrapped around her and I was on top of her. My lips found purchase on her body. I held her as tight as I could, needing to feel her heart beating in time with my own.
The sensation of her fingers running through my hair caused tingles, I shivered at the sensation. It, however, was still nothing compared to how her hands curled around my red ringlets and tugged harshly. I moaned against her.
She mewled as I let my tongue explore her pussy. I smirked against her body. I knew just how to make her hot. To have her begging for me. This is just how I like this to go.
Bang!
I had shoved my elbow into her nightstand as I played out my fantasy. God dammit.
I woke up with brown locks in my face and a piercing headache. God dammit. I always do stupid things when I’m drunk.
I tried to spare her feelings, I really did. I collected all my clothes and got dressed, trying to leave before she wakes up so we don't have to make things awkward. Like a coward, I would text her how I was drunk and so was she and it was a mistake to never be repeated.
It was a solid plan; our relationship could continue as is with minimal changes. Albeit, I’ll seem like an asshole. That is hardly new to me, though. I would have left after getting my shoes on, had a soft – yet firm – hand not grasp my shoulder.
“Where are you going?” She questioned heatedly, she had just woken up but her eyes were genuinely upset “Don’t you want to stay?” As if she was entitled to my time. Well, I guess she is entitled to SOME of it, we DID just have sex. But the principle stands!
“Of course not.” I calmly replied. “I just want to forget THIS ever happened.”
“What do you mean?” She snapped. “You’re acting as if this was all some big mistake!”
"It WAS," I ground out, my heart beating. This is the only reason I liked her. I thought it was last or affection. Humph. It was only a simple trick of adrenaline. “It never should have happened.”
I grabbed Bandit by his collar as I tried to leave the house. Bandit didn't want to come. Of course! It's not like I didn't take care of him since he was a puppy. Of COURSE, you like her more. Because Ba- ALBERT has terrible taste in people.
I went to my house, not even getting to bring Albert and saw Claire. She looked genuinely remorseful. Claire was always genuine. That didn't make her any less of an asshole, though. "I… I'm really sorry," Claire said. "Can I come in? So we can talk."
“Sure.” I definitely wasn’t being petty in any way. I don’t know but somehow I forget how much of an ethereal angel Claire can be. How the golden rin
glets framed her face and her large eyes glittered, even more so when those tears were glittering in them.
She looked around and was genuinely hurt. “Where are all the pictures of us?” She whispered, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout.
“There. You can unpack them if you want.” I replied. I don’t know why but I can’t even look at her right now. I went to my room and locked the door, deciding to just work on my work.
I could hear her unpacking all our photos again as I slowly worked, my arms started to feel too slow, and my eyelids became heavy. I fell asleep, resting my head on my desk.
chapter 13
Am I too clingy? I mean, all I want to do is see her. I mean, I know I saw her a few hours ago but still. I hate when things are too vague. Where do we stand? Was it bad? Was it really so bad that she wants nothing to do with me anymore? I need to get a grip. Leela clearly needs her space. I mean, it hasn’t even been a month since she and her last girlfriend broke up!
“On the other hand,” I argue with myself while pacing back and forth. “Leela and I have a rocky and uncertain relationship at the moment and going through adversity together is the best way for two people to bond!”
Bandit was watching me from his seat on my couch as I argued with me. He cocked his head at me in confusion. Great. Now I was getting looks from a dog! I mean, I am NOT crazy.
“Bandit. Do you wanna see mommy Leela?” I questioned him affectionately.
He barked but didn't get up and barely even wagged his tail.
“Okay, how about if I give you 3 treats?” I am now trying to negotiate with a dog. Why am I like this?
Bandit got off the bed and went to the front door, tail wagging a mile-a-minute. I smiled and walked him out of the house to Leela's house. I imagined we might fight again, but in the end, we would know where we stood and maybe after some time we could be together.
She deserves the time to move on.
Emboldened by my decision I knocked on the door. It swung open. For a split second, I allowed myself to believe the fantasy that she was waiting for me to come so she could apologize to me.
She would throw her arms around me and cry that it was a mistake. She had never felt so strongly for anyone and she didn’t know how to deal with it. We would kiss and she would lead me into her house to have a make out session motivated by more than alcohol.
Of course, silly Amelia. Always wrong. Always three steps behind. Unimportant. Replaceable. Always overestimates herself. Sometimes, I forget how… utterly uninspiring and unnecessary my presence is. Especially now.
A pair of eyes glaring down at me as if I was a piece of dirt, worth less than a bug. Somehow my mind immediately went to ‘He holds you above the flames of eternal damnation like one would a cricket with a fire,' but that is crazy! It's like I'm comparing her to god. And that is at the very least, sacrilegious!
She is too pretty, I abruptly decide. She looks like a manufactured product and nothing like a real human being. I mean, having sex with her has gotta be like playing with a sex doll. Waay too perfect.
Her mouth was curled into a sneer that marred her beauty and made her look like a proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“Claire,” I whispered. Her expression changed into a cruel smirk at the way I said her name. A pained taboo. Something I hated to think about.
“It’s interesting you know my name,” Wow. Her voice was so honeyed. Bitter too. “Because I’ve never heard a WORD about you!”
“You shouldn’t talk.” I heard myself sneer back. “It really ruins whatever look you were going for.”
She scowled at me. “Oh. I’ll take him.” She yanked Bandit by his collar as he visibly tried to pull away and go back to me.
"Bandit!" I yelled I would've gone into the house and taken him back and fought that awful girl.
BANG!
The door slammed shut in my face.
…Leela didn’t stop her. She didn’t stop her from saying awful things or taking Bandit against his will.
She doesn’t even care.
chapter 14
“Don’t touch me!” Amelia hissed, glaring at me as if I had done some terrible thing to her.
"But why, Ame-?" I reached for her, trying to make her relax. She pulled away from me so quickly and so hard that it hurt.
“You’ve made it very clear where we stand. How dare you use my own feelings against me! I’m not some receptacle for your misplaced lust. You took advantage of me when I was drunk and-“
“No! You do not get to blame me for that. You’re just as guilty as I am!” I snapped. “You’ve been trying to manipulate me into a rel-“
“Prove it!” She screamed at me, her face red and angry.
I pushed her up against the wall and kissed her roughly. It was angry and rough. There was no affection there. Only the fiery passion she instills in me.
I can’t help it. She can’t blame me for this. We made out and my nails clawed at her back, wanting, needing, to leave my mark on her.
Scratch. Scratch. I hate that sound. Scratch. It always comes from the property damage that ungrateful mutt enjoys inflicting on MY HOME. Scratch. As soon as I can move, I’ll explain why not to do that, again. Scratch. Tell him why I’m angry. Scratch.
It took a good 2 minutes for the events of – uh, Last night? This morning? – to come flooding back to me. It took another fleeting moment to realize that Amelia must've come here to bring Band- Albert home. Came and the door was open? No, Claire must've answered the door and- CLAIRE MUST HAVE ANSWERED THE DOOR.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. How could this happen? These were two things that should never have crossed paths! Amelia and Claire are so different they basically exist in different worlds.
What must Amelia think?
Of course, it’s not like we were planning our life together, but I did sleep with her the other night. And I’m back with-
"Get out," I told Claire, kicking her out through all her arguments. I can't let her back in. Not when I just ruined everything I had with Amelia. Not when I just proved Bandit right. He was a better judge of character than me.
I can’t think of anything I hate more right now.
I was wrong.
And now Amelia is…
I let the thought hang in the air as I pulled on a jacket and went. I’ll tell her I’m sorry for being an ass. I’ll let Bandit live with her. Hell, I’ll even ask her out on a legitimate date like she deserves!
That is if she takes me back…
Of COURSE, she will. She has to.
chapter 15
I had to get my mind off it. I just had to. I did whatever I could with my nervous energy until my phone rang. It was a boss of mine!
I answered the phone and smiled. It was an interview. And I can charm the pants off anyone I meet! So that is exactly what I did. Using my beautiful words and impressive flowery language, I convinced them that I was the perfect person for the job. It was a full-time position with high pay.
“The only thing is you would need to relocate. That isn’t a problem is it?” The interviewer questioned.
I had to think for a moment. Could I just…go? Leave the life I have here? The life where… I don’t have many friends. I share a dog with a girl who I like- liked who obviously doesn’t like me the same way. She has a girlfriend that she would go back to in a heartbeat over me any day of the week.
“Yes,” I decided after a moment of doubt. “I mean, no. I’m willing to move.”
As I got off the phone, there was a banging on the door. I opened the door and saw them. Oh, look. It was Leela. Did Claire dump her again? True, that it wasn’t much of a choice between me and her and I shouldn’t be angry-
You know what? I have a right to be mad. But… I don’t have to be. I decided to just let it, let them go. I let them into my house and offered her a coffee, giving Bandit a snack.
“SO,” “So,” Leela and I started at the same time.
I sighed. “Leela. I got a job offer.”
“That’s great!” She declared encouragingly. “Where.”
"Uhh,…it's a while away. I have to move." I explained to her.
“What?!” Leela snapped. “What about…what about-”
“Leela. You obviously have things to work out with Claire.” I put my hand up to make her stay quiet. “Don’t make yourself a liar too. You have to sort things out with your ex and I don’t appreciate being treated like the other woman.” I spat the phrase.
“But… you. You have freelance opportunities here!” Leela was adamant for me to stay.
“I want to move on. Get a real job-” I hate being cut off. Did I ever mention that?
“Freelancing is a real job. And you’re going to be just as miserable in this job as you were in the last one.” She wanted to hurt me with her words. “There’s no difference, and you’re better than that.”
“Leave. Please, leave.” I finally stated, deciding I no longer want to be around her.
“But-” She attempted to argue.
“Leave. Now.” I finally snapped.
chapter 16
She can’t. She can’t just leave. Not now. Not when I have finally decided what I want ‘us’ to be. Decided that I want there to be an us.
Of course, she doesn’t realize that. I’m just a relic from a time in her life that she wishes she could forget.
I wish I could blame her for that. Say how dare she just get over me. How dare she leave me in the dust? But that would be hypocritical. And I am many things, but a hypocrite is not one of them.
How could I expect her to choose me over her career?
I mean, she always had to play second fiddle to my ex. My ex who was awful in ways Amelia could never be. Who was selfish and conceited while Amelia was never free from sin, she was a better person than that.
She was kind and beautiful. She had a toned body that made me feel delicate by comparison, yet she didn't treat me as if I was delicate. She treated me as if I was a mature beautiful woman in my own right. She kissed me as if she needed me to continue to live. The taste of her was enough to make my knees week. The way her eyes lit up made me melt. I cannot help it, she was so much more beautiful and more interesting than I had considered.
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