Her blue eyes, her curtain of dark hair. That smile, bright enough to light up a room. Unfortunately, his mind wandered to thoughts of the little human all too many times. He would find it hard to breathe. His chest would tighten uncomfortably. Then he’d be reminded of her idiosyncrasies, like how much she talked when she was nervous, or happy, or angry.
It physically hurt him to be reminded of how angry she had been on that last day. Talon longed to go back, to explain, but he knew it wouldn’t help either of them. He had to stay away. Hopefully, over time, thoughts of her would fade. This raging need he felt for her would fade too. It wasn’t a physical need. That part of the problem was at least resolved. He missed her so much. Bam! He felt his lip split beneath the other male’s fist. Fai gave a shout, sounding both happy and shocked.
Blast.
Damn.
He’d let his guard down again. His mind drifting to Vicky at the worst possible times. Then again, he thought of her almost nonstop, so it wasn’t a wonder. He wanted to kiss her one more time, and this time, he’d never come up for air. He missed her more acutely than he’d ever missed anyone else.
Talon felt the brush of knuckles against his cheek. Almost hit again. He was tiring of this. Wanted the fight over. Rage boiled inside him. Fueled by frustration and loss. He growled as he struck his opponent, hearing a crack as Fai’s jaw broke. He kicked the male on the upper thigh, hearing another crack as the male went down. It would be hours before Fai would be healed enough to continue fighting. Instead of feeling any type of solace, of reprieve, he felt anger at himself for losing control again. He felt bad for Fai who was a good male. What was wrong with him? If anything, he was becoming worse. This rage inside him would not subside. He raised a hand and called for a healer.
As soon as he saw help was on the way, he turned, heading for his tower. Talon needed to shower. Maybe a long flight would be better. Restless energy boiled inside. It irked him that he wasn’t over this. That he wasn’t over her. Vicky. His sweet female.
What was he saying? She was not and would never be his. He was driving himself crazy with such thoughts.
His hunger had been there before; now it was ten-fold. It was a different kind of hunger. His beast demanded he go back. His beast craved Vicky just as much as he did. He roared again, picking up the pace, desperate to be under the cold spray. To find some kind of relief. Knew it wouldn't be possible. Not this time. Maybe not ever.
Blast.
Blast.
Why was this happening to him?
“What is wrong?” Leukos asked. “What has been troubling you, my friend?” His king gripped his shoulder and squeezed. “You were harsh with your opponent again today,” he added when Talon did not respond. “You are not acting like yourself. I’m worried.”
How could he tell his king of what had transpired? His shame seemed to grow inside him. Filling him.
“Did you go to see the healer?”
Now that his prick was back to normal, he didn’t need to go. Talon shook his head. “A healer can’t help me.” If only.
Leukos scrutinized him. “So, something did happen while you were visiting with the humans. Something of significance? At least you have admitted that.”
“Yes.” He felt his shoulders slump. “Something happened.”
“Come. Let us go to my chamber, you can tell me all about it. Maybe I can help.”
Talon grit his teeth, not sure of what to do.
“I might be your king, Talon, but I am first and foremost your friend. You will be surprised how much talking about something will help. I promise not to judge.”
Talon nodded. Already, something inside him eased.
The phone rang, again. For a second, Vicky was tempted to ignore it. Just to let the damned thing ring off the hook. She couldn’t do that though. “Good day, this is Vicky speaking.”
“Vicks, hi, how are you doing?” Bright like sunshine.
She couldn’t help but smile. “Maggie, it’s so good to hear your voice. How are you? How’s the new job?”
“Loving it, I’m so busy, makes me wish I was back working for you.” She laughed.
“The phones are ringing off the hook. It’s crazy. Makes me wish I hadn’t let you go.”
“Yeah, so Jeff beating up his pregnant fiancée ‒ make that ex-fiancée ‒ had consequences.”
Vicky had told Maggie about Kerry’s visit. “Yes, his actions most definitely had consequences.” She felt pissed off all over again at what had happened.
“I hear she’s pressing charges, he’s facing potential jail time.”
“Yup, I heard the same,” Vicky said. “That’s why my phone is ringing off the hook. People are fickle creatures. I was the woman he left and now I’m the new flavor of the day, now that Jeff’s out of the picture.”
“That’s great!” Maggie sounded animated. “You must be over the moon. Are you looking for a new assistant?”
“I’m not so sure it’s great. If I was looking for a new assistant, you’d be the first to know,” she sighed. “Thing is, I’m not taking on any clients.”
"You're not?" Maggie paused for a few seconds. "I thought you said you were fine. You do not sound fine." There was an edge to her friend's voice. "I've already taken my lunch break but I'm sure I could get off an hour early or something if you need to talk."
Vicky laughed. “You just started this job, you can’t take an hour off in your second week. I’m fine,” she insisted.
“Vicks? What’s going on? Besides the obvious.” Maggie spoke in a stern, yet concerned voice.
“It’s still just the obvious. I still miss him and it irritates me.” She pushed her fingers into the corners of her eyes.
“He might come back.”
“He won’t, and even if he did, I’d tell him to go and jump in the lake.”
“You would not.” Vicky sounded like she was making a face. “He’s a sweet guy. A guy you fell in love with.”
Vicky rolled her eyes. Why had she told Maggie that? "It doesn't matter. He left without so much as a backward glance. He doesn't deserve me."
“You’re right. He doesn’t,” Maggie sighed. “If that’s the case, you have to move on. Need to start thinking ahead. So,” she paused. “your phone is ringing off the hook and you don’t want the clients. What are you telling folks?”
“I’m telling them that I’m no longer the Love Doctor. That I don’t believe in love.” She felt a stab to her heart that told her otherwise. She didn’t want to believe in love. She didn’t want to love Talon but she did. It sucked! “Okay, I’m not telling them the last part. Just that I’m not taking on any more clients. It must be a supply and demand thing, because telling them no just makes them want me to help them more.”
“What are you going to do?”
“No idea.” That was the worst part. Her accountant was right, she’d always had a plan. Her life had been perfectly mapped out. “The billboard came down yesterday. I suspended my Love Doctor Facebook account. The website comes down in a day or two. It’s a two-month notice period on this office, which is a bit of a waste, but what can you do. After that … yeah, I’m not sure.”
“You’re really giving up the practice?” Maggie sounded shocked.
“Yes. I may not know what it is that I want to do but this isn’t it. I still have the money Talon paid me. He refused to take it back. Completely refused. I guess I can live off that for a while.” She hated the idea but didn’t have a better one. No future plan and all that. It worried her.
“Go to Switzerland,” Maggie said, completely serious. “Or wherever the hell it is that he came from.” Such a clever cookie. Thankfully, Maggie had never pushed her for more answers.
Vicky laughed. The sound held no humor. “Yeah right.”
“Go after the man you love.”
“I’m not the problem. Talon is.” How she wished things could be different. They could be great together. So great. It didn’t matter that they were different species. She might
even be willing to move into the middle of nowhere to be with him. “How’s about he comes after me? That would be a much better idea.” There was a knock at the door. She moaned, rubbing a hand over her face.
“What is it?” Maggie asked.
“Another walk-in. I’ll ignore them and hopefully they’ll go away,” she spoke softly.
They knocked again though. More insistent this time. “I heard that,” Maggie laughed. “You’d better get it.”
“Wait, I’ll get rid of them and we can finish our conversation. Do you have time? You said you were busy.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go get the door.”
Vicky opened the door and promptly dropped the phone. Thankfully the floor was carpeted.
Talon held her gaze for what felt like an age. Then he reached down, picked up the phone and handed it to her.
“Vicky! Hey, Vicky! Is everything okay?” Maggie shouted through the phone. “Vicks, please speak to me. I heard a thud. Vi—”
“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry about that.” Her eyes were still glued to Talon. To the stubble on his jaw, to his lips, his eyes … ones that could look right through her. She’d almost forgotten how big he was. How beautiful. It hurt just looking at him.
“Is everything alright? You sound weird. Vicks …”
“I’m fine. Everything is fine.” Her voice did have a weird edge to it. “I’m going to have to call you back.”
“Oh my god!” Maggie yelled. “He’s there, isn’t he? He’s there right now!” More of a scream. It hurt her ear. She wondered what Maggies’s new colleagues at work must be thinking. Then realized it was a stupid thing to be thinking at that moment. With Talon standing in front of her. So close she could reach out and touch him. She stopped herself from doing it.
“Yes.”
“Is that ‘yes, he’s there’?”
“Yup. I’ll call you back.” She ended the call to Maggie’s excited yell. Vicky’s heart was racing about a mile a minute.
They just stared at one another for a while longer. More like, she stared at him. She couldn’t believe he was there.
“Can I come in?” Talon took a deep breath. “I went to the house first but you weren’t there, so I figured you’d be here. We need to talk.”
“Um … sure.” She stood to the side, allowing him in and then followed him to the lounge area in her office. “Sit.” She gestured to the sofa. “Can I get you something to drink?”
He shook his head. Talon wore a pair of jeans and a simple button-down shirt. He looked good. Who was she kidding? He always looked good. Even in flip-flops and a stupid meme shirt.
“What are you doing here?” She perched herself on the edge of the wingback. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
“I never intended to return.”
Ouch!
She frowned. “What made you come back?”
“I had a long talk with a very good friend who took me to see an elder who then explained some things to me. Made me aware of something I had no clue about.” He looked down at his hands for a moment or two.
Her heart was racing. Her hands felt clammy. “Okay.” This was the part when he would tell her that he’d realized he was completely in love with her. That he couldn’t live without her. He would do it in his own sweet way. It was going to be clumsy, but it was going to be special too. She found herself leaning forward, praying like mad she was right because she was wildly and madly in love with him. His absence had only made her feelings more apparent.
“I told you that our species mate for life.”
She nodded. “Yes.” It was something she had found endearing and yet so sad. She warned herself not to get her hopes up all over again. Maybe his reasons for being here had nothing to do with love. Nothing to do with her even.
“It would normally be impossible for a male to be with another female.”
“What do you mean, ‘be with’?” She narrowed her eyes.
“A male would normally have no desire to be with another female. No desire to want to mount her. When our species mate, it is for all time, our bodies no longer respond to the look, nearness or touch of another.”
“I’m not really sure I follow.” She knew he was wracked with guilt over his attraction to her, but this sounded different. This sounded like … Nah, that couldn’t be it.
“I should never have been able to get an erection, let alone mount you.”
Oh, shit! It was like that.
“I was shocked that I could become hard. It was confusing, made me feel shame because it happened every time I looked at you … At least … it felt like it happened every time.”
She smiled.
“Then we had sex. It was never planned.”
“I figured.”
“I panicked. I felt such shame and guilt that I was even able to carry out the act. I was angry at myself for having such little willpower, for hurting you. I know I hurt you.” He shook his head. “That is my biggest regret.”
Vicky could hardly believe what she was hearing. “I was upset. You did hurt me. You made me feel worthless. Like ‘the other woman’. Like we were cheating or something. You once told me I was worth more and yet, you made me feel worse than anyone ever has before, and that’s saying something since my ex is a scumbag.”
He sucked in a deep breath like her admission hurt him. “I was wrong.” Talon gripped her hand. His touch warm and comforting. “I apologize for making you feel that way but not for the act. Not for mounting you. I should have known there was a reason behind it. A reason for my need to be inside you.” His eyes became animated.
Here we go. This was it. She’d been right. It was more than clumsy but it was all him. Sweet Talon and she couldn’t wait to hear him tell her how he felt about her. Had he missed her as much as she had missed him?
“I didn’t know that being with another female was even possible. Since we have no females, it is not something anyone has spoken of in a long time.” He spoke quickly, his eyes bright. “I spoke to one of the elders and he made me see things clearly. It can happen that a male can take another female in his lifetime if his mate dies. You need to know that what we have is very rare. Very special, Vicky.” He squeezed her hand.
She felt a lump form in her throat. It was rare and special.
“In times when the population of my species is down, or in times of war, if a male loses his female, he will sometimes be awakened by another, like what happened with us. It is something to be revered and valued. It is not shameful, as I was taught to believe.”
“What are you trying to say?”
He took both her hands in his. “We have been brought together to repopulate my species.” He smiled, his eyes glinted. “You need to stop taking that human medication, pack a bag and come and live with me, with my people. I will mate you and get you with clutch before the moon—”
“Excuse me? Sorry, say that again.” This time, when her heart raced it was for different reasons, like her preparing to slap him across his face. She pulled her hands away from his.
“I can see you are afraid but don’t be. You are not a Feral female. There is no reason why you should be stricken with the clutch sickness. I have been assured of this by the healers. My king has given us permission to—”
“I can’t believe you’re saying all this. You haven’t even asked me if I want to move in with you. If I want to be with you. You never once mentioned your feelings in all of this. You’re essentially here because you were told to come and not because you want to be.” This all felt too much like a business arrangement. Repopulate his species!
He frowned, two deep grooves appearing on his forehead. “What do feelings have to do with it?”
That did it. “Please leave.”
“But didn’t you hear anything I said?”
“I heard you loud and clear.” Shit! She worked hard at reining in her anger. Her hurt at this whole thing. At everything he had just said to her. At what an idiot she was. “You basically just told me that I
make you horny. You can’t get it up for anyone else so that makes me special. Am I missing something?”
“You are special.” His eyes were wide.
“Exactly, and you plan to use me to breed with, since you have no other choice.” A little harsh but true. It hurt her to say it. She made herself say the words just as much for herself as for him.
He narrowed his eyes. “Yes but no, that’s not how I meant it. We can be together, Vicky. I thought it was something you wanted. I was sure of it.”
“You were wrong! I’m sorry, Talon, up until right now, I thought I could teach you about human women, about our culture. Up until now, I thought our two species might have a real shot at being together. That your men and our women could successfully form relationships, bonds ‒ but I was wrong. I was completely wrong. We are far too different as a species. Our cultures are too different. It would be like putting a round peg in a square hole.”
“We are perfectly compatible. Mounting you was the best sexual experience I have ever had. I fit perfectly inside you.”
“Stop!” She held up a hand, not wanting to be reminded of something she found intense and amazing and heart-wrenchingly beautiful. Something she attached so much emotion to when he was just getting his rocks off and feeling bad about it because he didn’t actually have permission. “We’re fine sexually but culturally we suck together.”
“Don’t say that.” He shook his head. “Let me take you to my home. I will show you—”
“It wouldn’t work, Talon.” Her voice was hard.
He leaned back in the chair. His face pinched. His eyes full of pain. This was where he confused the living shit out of her. He looked like she’d just ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it, when it was the other way around. Although, she was pretty much the only woman he could have sex with and she’d just taken that way from him. Come to think of it, that would leave most guys looking stricken. It had nothing to do with feelings. He locked eyes with hers, his Adam’s apple worked. “Take some time to think things through. Time to consider my offer—”
“I don’t need time.” She shook her head. “I’m sure already.”
His throat worked again, his eyes were dark. His jaw tight. “I wish you would reconsider.”
Hunger Awakened (The Feral Book 1) Page 22
