“She wants to thank you for saving her and the baby,” Jim murmured. A warm flame burned in his gray eyes. “You did one hell of a job, Cathy. I’m proud of you.”
Tears sprang to her eyes as she watched the black-haired male infant struggle, now a healthy pink color. She leaned over Sirikit, removing the cotton material from her milk-swollen breast, and placed the infant to it.
Cathy’s eyes shimmered with tears as she looked over at Jim. His eyes were curiously bright and it staggered her. Men didn’t cry. Or did they?
Later, as she took off the gloves and washed up, Jim came over to join her. The room was filled with the joyous laughter of the three women who now lovingly tended Sirikit and her new baby boy. Cathy traded a wry smile with him as they both scrubbed their hands and arms in the blue ceramic basin sitting on the teak table.
“You’re a natural, Cathy,” he told her quietly. “A doctor couldn’t have done a better job.”
With a shy shrug, she wiped her hands dry on a red cloth offered to her by one of the gracious women. “A natural crybaby, you mean. Births affect me so deeply.”
“You were great. Wonderful.”
“So were you. I panicked when he wasn’t breathing. We both made that delivery.” Cathy knew she was going to cry. Suddenly all the emotions she had held at bay since joining the WLF and then going into combat mushroomed to life within her. She shakily placed the cloth beside the basin.
“E-excuse me.” She walked blindly out of the room. A crowd of people with smiling faces greeted her as she came down the stairs. Cathy moved distractedly through the jubilant bystanders and the ROKs who guarded the village. It felt as if a fist were being rammed up through her, suffocating her. Vision blurred by tears that were going to fall sooner or later whether she wanted them to or not, Cathy walked around the rear of the huge building, finally alone.
She leaned one arm against a foundation post. Burying her head against her arm, she let the sobs wrench from deep within her.
“Cathy?”
She sobbed harder when she heard Jim Boland’s husky voice nearby. She felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder.
Jim gently turned her around, his gray eyes tender. “Mind if I join you?” he asked softly, cupping her chin and forcing her to look up at him. Her green eyes were marred with pain, and her cheeks glistened with spent tears. A tender smile pulled at his mouth as he pushed several wayward strands of hair from her cheek.
Cathy looked up at him through the veil of tears. In that moment, she saw kindness burning deep in eyes now dangerously bright with his own tears.
“D-did you see how perfectly formed his little toes and fingers were?”
Jim nodded. “He is perfect.”
“And how Sirikit smiled when she saw her son for the first time…” Cathy sobbed hard, burying her face in her hands. “He has so many people who will love him. If he only knew how many people were laughing and smiling because he was born.”
He pulled Cathy against him and slid his arms around her slender, shaking body. At first she resisted, but he pressed her against him anyway. To his soaring gratefulness, she capitulated and tucked her face against his shoulder. His voice was gruff. “You brought life into this ugly world. That child’s pretty lucky.” He closed his eyes, inhaling her feminine scent despite the odor of her own sweat and the odors from the village surrounding them.
Boland smiled distantly. He felt an ache in his heart. He wanted to kiss away Cathy’s tears. The desire was raw and unbridled. It screamed through him. Jim wrestled with himself. He didn’t dare go that far with her, even though his heart told him that was what she needed. “So are you. And don’t you ever forget that, Cathy.”
Jim felt her sobs lessen and he simply held and rocked her gently in his arms. For now, the war did not exist. They had shared the birth of a child. They had welcomed a new soul into the awaiting arms of those voices that now rang with joy and laughter. And he had seen the shining radiance in Cathy’s features as she gently held the naked child in her slender hands. She had, for an instant, looked like a madonna.
Reluctantly, he released her because if he didn’t, he was going to kiss her soft, parted lips. Cathy stepped away and leaned back against the teak log, her cheeks flushed a bright red. He couldn’t stop smiling, because he felt Cathy’s joy. It was their joy.
Raising his face to the sun climbing bright and hot into the azure sky, Jim rasped, “God, you know, sometimes it feels great to be alive.” And then he looked down at her, a boyish smile framing his face.
Cathy laughed, crossing her arms, unable to hold his warm stare. “The instant the baby slid into my hands, I felt so good. Everything else had been nothing but a bad dream, and the child was my only reality. And when you got him to take his first breath, I took it with him. Life, not death. Living, not dying. Nothing mattered except that I could look into his little brown eyes when he first opened them.”
“He couldn’t have seen anyone better,” Jim murmured. He ached to reach over and caress her cheek.
“I had to kiss him. It was my way of telling him he was welcomed into our world.”
“I wanted to kiss all three of you,” Jim admitted, a bashful grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. “You didn’t see the look on Sirikit’s face. All the pain she had suffered suddenly transformed into beauty as you held her baby up for her to see for the first time. As I held the baby, I wanted to tell him that even though his father was no longer alive, he had a whole passel of relatives who loved him fiercely. And you…” He reached out, brushing his fingertips against her damp cheek. “I wanted to kiss you just because of the radiance I saw shining in your eyes. I wanted to share that incredible happiness I felt around you.”
Rattled by his gritty voice, Cathy’s eyes widened as she stared up at Jim. This wasn’t the officer talking. No, this was the man hidden behind the uniform—the human being who took her breath away with his ability to share himself with her.
“Thanks for letting me be a part of that happiness.” If she remained any longer with Jim, Cathy was afraid of herself, her own wild, rampant emotions that he’d catalyzed by simply holding her. She wanted to kiss that mouth of his, wanted to meet, meld and drown herself in his gentleness and masculinity. Cathy reached out, briefly touching his arm. “Come on, let’s go see how our mother and baby are doing. Maybe Sirikit will let us hold him for just a little while before we go.”
The next two hours were more than special to Cathy. When they walked back into the house, Sirikit’s mother gripped Cathy’s arm, dragging her forward and chattering nonstop. Cathy threw a look over her shoulder, dismayed. Jim laughed. The two aunts had departed after washing Sirikit and dressing her in a bright blue cotton wrap. Her hair had been combed; it was now hanging in long, black shining sheets around her small shoulders. Cathy smiled shyly as she knelt down, her gaze moving to the sleeping baby boy. The young woman spoke softly to Cathy, her almond eyes glistening as she placed her son into Cathy’s arms.
Jim quietly joined her, kneeling behind her. “She says that without you, she and her son would have died.”
Cathy held the sleeping baby, pressing him to her breast. All babies smelled so good, so clean and she inhaled his scent deeply. Sirikit rested her hand on Cathy’s arm, continuing in her melodic voice.
“She says they want us to stay for the celebration,” Jim translated, beginning to smile. He shared a warm look with Cathy. “I think that’s kinda nice. We can stay for while if you want.”
Overwhelmed, Cathy could only look at the baby and then at Sirikit. “I’d like that. Tell her we’ll stay.”
Jim translated and the women clapped their hands, their eyes shining with joy over their decision.
Cathy smiled at Sirikit. “Thank you,” she whispered to her.
Jim squeezed her shoulder. “You’re now officially part of Sirikit’s family, you realize that? It’s a real honor to be asked to stay for a feast.”
Sirikit’s mother, who sat near her daughter, ge
stured to Cathy and Jim. Her round face was filled with pride and happiness.
“She’s asking if we’ll stay over tonight, after the feast.” He smiled down at her. “You’ve made one hell of a good impression on these ladies.”
For one stolen moment, she imagined this was her baby and Jim her husband. The absurdity of the daydream left Cathy shaken. What was wrong with her? Had combat strung out her emotions so badly that she was no longer thinking rationally? Still, Jim’s presence, his touch, fed her an incredible sustenance and strength.
“I know we can’t stay that long,” she said.
“We’ll have to leave by evening,” he agreed.
“Here,” Cathy urged, turning toward him, “I think you deserve to hold him, too.” The look of pleasure that crossed his face as she placed the baby in his arms endeared Jim to her even more. As she sat there, hands resting on her long thighs, Cathy murmured, “You’ll make a great father, someday.”
A shy grin spanned his mouth as he lightly touched the baby’s silky black hair. “Yeah? Does it show?”
“By just the way you hold him. You’re not afraid you’ll drop him. It’s as if you’ve been practicing all your life for this moment.”
Jim caught and held her compassionate green eyes that were flecked with gold. “I think we’re both natural parents at heart. What happened to us? Here we are—mid to late twenties and still single. We’re sitting out in the bush getting rocketed and shot at daily. Somewhere, we got off track.”
Cathy laughed with him and took the baby back, nestling the child at Sirikit’s side, then reluctantly, they said farewell to Sirikit and her family. They would see them again, at the feast tonight. Right now, the girl needed to rest from her ordeal.
Cathy followed Jim out into the center of the village. The Thai women were like colorful birds to Cathy, and she admired the bright red, yellow and blue cloth they wore over their slender bodies. A smile came to her mouth as one small girl, no more than four, came up and gripped her hand. In her eyes, Cathy saw absolute happiness and, suddenly, this whole experience was becoming dreamlike to her. Children were joyous and scampering around them like exuberant puppies and the older Thai people gathered by the headman’s house bowed and murmured polite greetings in a singsong language that she didn’t understand. Krit greeted them and led them to a large fire where five men sat. Cathy sat down next to Jim on a mat. They laid their rifles and caps beside them and allowed Krit to draw them into the feasting activities.
Cathy’s mouth watered as a bowl filled with rice and spicy chicken was given to her by one of the women.
“I’m starved!” she suddenly discovered.
Jim grinned and used his fingers, dipping into the bowl. “Chow down. Just remember, Thai food is hotter than hell.”
He wasn’t exaggerating, Cathy discovered. She had never had the opportunity to eat Thai food before. After what appeared to be an eight-course meal, her eyes were watering and so was her nose from the spices and peppers used in the recipes.
Jim dug out his green handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.
Cathy smiled and dried her eyes and blew her nose. “How come this stuff isn’t affecting you like it is me?” she griped good-naturedly.
Jim licked his fingers and then rubbed them dry on his trousers. “I spent almost a year here at Ban Pua, remember? Krit was always inviting me and my team to eat with his family, so I got weaned off MREs and on to their food. It was a helluva lot better deal, believe me.”
“Thai food is hotter than Mexican food by a mile.”
Krit, bent with age, stood in the center of the amassed villagers that numbered well over three hundred and began a long speech. Cathy saw him point to her a number of times and she turned to Jim for an explanation.
“Krit is going to give you a gift,” he said.
Cathy saw Krit pick up an object that was swathed in purple and white silk. Heart beating hard, Cathy accepted the gift and unwrapped it. With a gasp, she held an exquisitely hand-carved Siamese cat in her hands. The golden tones of the teak gleamed warmly as she held up the gift for all to see. The Thais clapped like delighted children.
Jim’s smile was filled with pleasure as he looked up at her. “Tell Krit Khorb-jai. That’s Thai for thank you.”
“Khorb-jai, Krit,” she murmured, adding a small bow.
Krit grinned toothlessly and broke into a rapid spate of Thai.
“He says you’re now a part of their family,” Jim translated.
“I—I finally have a family,” she murmured, gripping the statue tightly.
Jim shared a tender smile with her. “Anyone who wouldn’t want you would be crazy.”
Cathy tried to move to a less sensitive topic. “D-did they give you a statue when Krit made you a part of their family?” she asked.
Jim rested his hand momentarily on her shoulder. “No, but the Thais are a generous people with those who are equally loving and giving in return. And you were all of that and more. You gave Krit a healthy male child.”
Cathy gave him a smile. “We both did,” she corrected.
AS THEY WALKED toward the edge of the village, rifles slung over their shoulders, Cathy looked up at Boland.
“I wouldn’t have traded these last few hours for anything, Jim. Thanks. You’ll never know how much it’s meant to me.”
“It was like a transfusion for both of us,” he agreed. “I’m just sorry we can’t carry the experience back to everyone else. The men could all use a lift like this.”
Cathy squinted against the late-afternoon sun that dappled overhead between the trees that encircled the village. She heard the familiar whap-whap-whap of a Huey helicopter approaching in the distance. After saying their goodbyes, they walked to the outskirts of the village. A flock of Thai children surrounded them and Cathy crouched down, touching and hugging each one of them. They were like warm, squirming puppies who giggled when she embraced them. Cathy glanced up at Jim.
“This is the first time I’ve been in a Thai village since coming over here. Getting to see children and receiving a friendly welcome has been an incredible high.”
He gave a decisive snort. “Too bad all your experiences in the last four days couldn’t have been as happy as this one.”
She got up. “I wouldn’t trade all the experiences I’ve had in the last four days for anything, Jim.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You mean you prefer us over Delta?”
“Anytime,” Cathy answered fervently, watching as the chopper began to descend. “I have freedom. And people who care…”
“WELL, HOW’S IT going, Jim?” Mackey inquired tensely as he puffed on the cigar wedged in the corner of his mouth.
“Better than I expected, Colonel.”
“I understand two things happened this week—Lane turned down your request to allow Fremont a visit with Delta personnel and Fremont delivered a baby.”
Jim tried to hide his irritation over the colonel’s detached observation. “She delivered the baby without assistance.”
“Are you getting her trust?”
Trust? Hell, they were so damned close now because of the baby, it was almost tangible. “Yes, sir, she’s beginning to trust me.”
“How about your team? Is she fitting in?”
“Yes, sir.”
Mackey held up Jim’s latest report, eyeing it for a moment. “Looks like Lance Corporal Gomez has taken her under his wing.”
“The only one who is wary of her is my sergeant, Buck Arnley. Cathy—I mean, Fremont, has been out on three patrols with them so far and Arnley hasn’t complained.”
“Sure?”
Jim smiled slightly. “If he wasn’t pleased with her performance, I’d be getting my ear chewed off. Arnley’s not one to keep his bile to himself.”
“No contact on any of those patrols?”
“None.” That was common. Maybe one out of every ten patrols resulted in contact and a firefight with the enemy.
“And her general health aft
er the sunstroke?”
“Improving, although I won’t allow her to go dig trenches or string concertina wire yet.”
“Lane’s keeping a real eagle eye on the reports I’m sending her on Fremont. I think she’s a little edgy about her remaining over here. She’s been bitching that we should be using her on patrol more often.”
Boland’s face clouded. “Sir, one patrol every other day is plenty. I won’t screw up my people by subjecting them to unnecessary pressures when it’s not called for.”
“She’s had Captain Ingram calling over here twice a day to find out if Fremont’s bagged any bodies yet. Says she wants it for their weekly tally boards for the press. Have you been putting her on point as they requested?”
“No, sir, I haven’t. That’s up to Arnley if he wants her on point.” Jim turned, squarely facing Mackey through the haze of cigar smoke that floated around the colonel’s head. “I won’t order him to do it, either. It’s bad for morale if I do. Buck has a good team and I want it left that way.” Secretly Jim believed on point was too dangerous for Cathy. For the past two nights he had lain awake in his hootch, staring up at the corrugated tin roof and picturing Cathy’s luminous eyes filled with tears of happiness as she held up the baby for everyone to see. How could anyone kill someone like her?
Swallowing a smile, Mackey studied Boland’s neatly hand-printed report. “Think Fremont will be ready for a little R & R with your team?”
“Yes, sir, I do.”
With a grunt, Mackey threw the report on the desk. “Looks good, Jim. You’re doing a fine job.” He clasped his gnarled hands together. “You know, those five days in Bangkok are going to be the cement that holds this plan together.”
Jim scowled. If he read the inference in Mackey’s innocuous statement, there were plenty of untidy innuendoes left to question. He couldn’t bring himself to reel her in like some hooked fish. “I plan to spend quite a bit of time just talking and getting her to relax and trust me,” he answered in a clipped tone.
Danger Close (Shadow Warriors) Page 20
