by Cyndi Raye
He had been determined to never join their ranks.
He had not realized it was not a choice.
Luke’s stint in the army ended with him nearly having his legs blown off as his team was unexpectedly attacked by the terrorists. He survived but the same was not true for four members of the platoon he had been deployed with. He watched them die and there had been nothing he could do about it.
His injuries had been too severe for him to continue to serve. He had been thrust back into civilian life, unprepared. His physical wounds had healed. The mental ones had not.
Nightmares and flashbacks plagued him night after endless night. The insomnia and extreme mood swings made day-to-day living difficult. It got to the point where he did think of ending it all. One precisely aimed bullet would have taken all the mental anguish away.
Even his assigned therapist had not been able to talk him off the metaphorical ledge.
Then his friend and former captain, Ben Trooper, offered him a lifeline in the form of a position in the BKH Bad Boys, a new company Ben had founded. The Bad Boys was a company specializing in securing water property against explosives.
He jumped at the position. It kept him busy and kept his mind out the dark place it went sometimes. In the last few years he had made lots of headway to beating his depression.
Then there were days where if felt like he was back at square one. Today had been one of those days.
He had been in a funk all day and thought chilling with the other members of the Bad Boys would improve his mood. It had done the opposite.
All the members of the BKH Bad Boys appeared to be falling off the single band wagon and straight into the arms of their true love. Friday night had traditionally been reserved as guy’s night at Lenny’s Bar and Grill. That included lots of drinks, crude jokes and the possibility of leaving with a hook up by the end of the night.
Now the group had been moved to a larger table to accommodate three new female additions. The first was Angela Dalton, fiancé to Ben, Callie Tucker, wife of Cole Brown and more recently, Caroline Nash, physical therapist turned girlfriend to Zach Cody.
All the secret glances between the couples and private moments snuck in between group conversations were making Luke uncomfortable.
Luke had nothing against being in love. In fact, he was often envious of his friend’s happiness with their partners, wishing the same for himself.
Seeing them only brought home how alone and lonely he was.
He thought about leaving. The only other single member of the Bad Boys, Jacob, had already left, a female on his arm.
Luke had opened his mouth to give his excuse...
Then she walked in. Vanessa.
Like the first ray of sunlight banishing the darkness of night, she stood out. He watched her talk to a few foreigners at a table close to the entrance, trying to figure out what about her made her shine so brightly. Her face was bare and her clothes were simple - jeans and a no frills shirt. Her dark curls were untamed around her shoulders. She was beautiful but in an understated, girl-next-door sort of way.
There was no overt sexuality about her. She was not loud. There was just this light...
He had to get close to that light. He was moving before he stopped to think. He needed to bask in the warmth she emitted even from across the room.
He looked in her eyes and knew.
This woman was it for him.
Luke was not a man to waste time. He knew how short life was. All that was guaranteed was this second.
And he intended to make every second with her count. He intended to make Vanessa Hughes fall in love with him.
Four hours had passed since her drink spilled on the shirt - four hours of dancing, a little drinking and a lot of laughing.
And only four minutes since they entered his apartment. Lenny’s had been filled to the max, the it spot for the Friday chill crowd, but by unspoken consensus the two had decided to go some place quieter. More private.
She had agreed to have a drink with him in his home, no pretence or coyness when she accepted his invitation.
She preceded him and looked around.
He tried to see the space though her eyes. The apartment was loft styled. The kitchen and living room were divided by an island. The only walls here were the ones that enclosed his bedroom and bathroom.
He had chosen it specifically for its spaciousness. He could not stand being in small spaces. The claustrophobia was a development from being trapped for hours before help came that day…
He shook his head, immediately dragging his mind from that dark place and refocused on his current environment.
The furnishings were minimal and void of personal knick knacks. This was a place for shelter, nothing more or less.
He wished he had a place that held more of him to bring her to.
He felt shy and the need to say something but was unsure of what to say and how to say it. Nervousness was a foreign concept to Luke but there you have it. This woman was turning him inside out. He was equal parts terrified and elated.
“I hope you don’t think I brought you here for, well… you know,” he said, hands gesturing.
She looked at him over her shoulder, hair sliding over the graceful line of her neck. She watched him in a way that left him feeling stripped bare and he was not talking physically.
She came closer and took his hand. She squeezed it, whatever she saw on his face telling her he needed reassurance. Again he was not sure how he felt about how easy she read him.
Her smile was teasing though when she answered, “Why Mr. Bennett, are you saying you don't want in my pants? I think I’m insulted.”
“Oh, I want in.” He let his eyes roam over her so that there was no doubt. He most definitely wanted.
He let his come back to hers sink in and continued, “But I want other things with you, too. Like more dates and us getting to know each other better. With you I want… everything. Does that totally freak you out given that we’ve only know each other for a few hours?”
She looked up at him, actually mulling over his words. “Is it weird that I am not? With you I feel things that I have never felt with another person. I don’t know if it's the alcohol talking but I’m totally okay with that at this moment.”
They ending up on his couch, watching a movie and munching on the last packet of popcorn. They did not indulge in any more alcohol. He wanted her to be totally sure of the feelings developing between them.
Long into the night, they talked. Luke was not much of a talker most days. He hated reliving the past and saw no point hashing out every single detail for the future. But with Vanessa, he found he wanted to share this thoughts and - don’t revoke his man card for this - his feelings. He wanted her to confide these same things with him.
He told her about being an only child to separated parents and his experience in the military. She shared that she was a writer and that her passion for the written word started as an escape to an abusive childhood.
There were quiet moments too, silence that was comfortable and did not need to be filled with meaningless chatter.
He knew he was being totally sappy and another time he would have scolded himself for making himself so vulnerable with someone who was still essentially a stranger.
She fell asleep in his arms on the huge couch. He watched her. Watched the way the light from the moon played over her features in the otherwise dark room. He watched her and tried to figure it out. What about her that made him feel something other than the despair that consumed his life in recent years.
He decided it did not matter what it was as his eyes closed. It only mattered that she was in his life now. The rest was unimportant.
He slept wrapped around her, her scent and feeling soothing him. There were no nightmares that night only a sensation of hope that followed him even into his unconsciousness.
He woke up in the morning, reaching for his mysterious beauty with a smile only to find coldness where she was supposed
to be.
He did not have to get off the couch to know the truth. Still he searched his bedroom and bathroom before admitting it to himself.
She was gone.
And she took the light with her.
Luke felt the darkness close in but before it could swallow him whole, a loud bang sounded.
He rushed to the wall length window in the living room to see fire and smoke at the harbor.
There had been an explosion on a yacht docked nearby.
His emotional pain took a back seat as he raced to help.
Chapter Three
He reached the site of the explosion in record time, a worn black cotton shirt thrown over the same jeans he wore the night before and feet encased in boots.
He had be running full out, ignoring the twinge in his right knee at the exertion. He broke through the crowd that had already gathered, noting the sounds of approaching sirens.
He would do his best to help the situation until the authorities got here. He skidded to a stop when he saw a woman lying on the ground far too close to the burning tail of the yacht.
The mass of dark hair told him instantly who it was and his heart stopped for a moment seeing the red pool around her head.
Vanessa.
Helplessly he was thrown back to another time and another place. There was blood and screams just like now but there were other sounds as well. Gunfire. Foreign profanities being spewed. The crush of metal.
The armored vehicle was speeding through the desert. The guys in the back were ribbing newcomer, Gilroy McFlorence.
This was Gil’s first tour and no one got on the team without a proper welcome, which meant dropping firecrackers in his bed as a wakeup call.
Gil was still flushing with embarrassment at the remembered mindless fumbling out of the covers and the girl-like screams he emitted when the bangers went off.
Luke really felt for the guy, remembering his own initiation prank, which was having to walk back to camp naked after his clothes conveniently went missing during training.
Those thoughts and laughter were abruptly cut off when the rubble of engines told them they had company. Two beat up vans with machines guns attached to the tops were tailing them. Bullets started raining soon after.
Their driver, Vincent, put his foot to the pedal and for a moment it looked like they had outrun their enemies.
Then the world exploded. Luke knew the sound of a landmine.
The truck flipped.
There was lots of noise and for a moment darkness filled Luke’s vision. He blinked, trying to get past the fog and became aware of the searing pain in his knees and hips. He was trapped, hot metal crushing his limbs.
He stopped struggling to get free when a groan came from his right.
Gil was lying next to him. There was blood all over his face and upper body. There was a hole in his chest.
Luke watched blood bubble out Gil’s mouth and saw the light die in the younger man’s eyes.
“No!”
He screamed from the agony.
Caught in the flashback, Luke’s vision was consumed with the battlefield until a noise pulled him back to the present. He blinked, trying to clear his head.
He was not dead and Vanessa needed him.
He came back to himself much like he woke up from his nightmare yesterday - shaking, sweating and short of breath.
Vanessa needs me, he repeated the litany internally until he was able to make his legs move from where they had been locked in place. The steps felt heavy but he reached her side.
His medic training kicked in and he checked her over, placing his fingers at her wrist and noting the depth of the cut on her forehead.
Relief coursed through him when he found a pulse, strong and true.
He had not lost her.
Another bang sounded from the yacht and Luke instinctively bent over the unconscious woman, shielding her the best he could from any flying debris.
Luckily nothing hit them but he knew he had to move her.
He picked her up carefully. She stirred when he laid her down on a grassy embankment a few feet away. “Luke?”
“Yes, sweetheart, I’m here.” His voice trembled.
She moaned and his brow furrowed. “It hurts, Luke.”
“Tell me where it hurts,” he insisted.
Instead of answering, she clutched his arm. “Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t, sweetheart,” he said. He pushed her hair away from her face - careful of the gash on her forehead - feeling helpless. “I’m right here no matter what.”
Her eyes closed again and she did not respond when he called her name.
She was so still.
God, if anything happened to her…
He did not have time to dwell on that because someone was shouting her name.
The crowd parted to let the medic and police through and a guy in a fancy suit was quick on their tails. He was blond-hair and blue-eyes with movie star looks.
Panic entered the other man’s when he spotted Vanessa lying on the ground. He came to where Luke and Vanessa were. “What is going on here?”
Instead of answering, Luke asked a question of his own. “Who are you?”
Suit Guy’s stance became aggressive as he looked at the way Luke hovered over Vanessa. “Her boyfriend, that's who. Now, who the hell are you?”
Noise roared in Luke’s head and he had the sudden urge for violence.
He was brought back from the brink when Vanessa whimpered.
Then a paramedic was there, taking her vitals.
***
Vanessa knew she was in the hospital before she opened her eyes.
The beeps and antiseptic smells gave it away. That, and the lumpy bed. She had been in the hospital when she was eight years old after falling down a flight of stairs. She remembered the feel of the uncomfortable mattress.
That and the cold look in her father’s eyes...
She pushed that memory back, forcing it into the box she always pictured for her bad memories and closing it.
When she blinked into focus, the first thing she saw was a water pitcher next to the bed. Immediately she was aware of how dry her throat felt, like she had not drank anything in days. The explosion flashed through her mind – the heat of it and the force with which it threw her back - and she wondered how long she had been here.
She stretched her arm but a voice stopped any further movement.
“Here, let me get that for you. You need to lie still.”
The voice came from the opposite side of the bed and her head snapped toward it.
Luke.
He was a sight for sore eyes. His black shirt was untucked over his jeans and wrinkled. His hair was disheveled, like he had run his fingers through it several times. His beard was thicker. There were bags under his eyes. Still, he was absolutely beautiful.
She looked at him and the rest of the world fell away. She forgot about the throbbing in her head and the ache in her shoulder. All she could do was bask in the feelings his presence invoked.
Even though she had almost died and was now in the hospital, just looking at him made everything seem alright with the world.
He walked around the bed and poured her a glass of water. He placed a white straw in the plastic container.
“Here,” he said, holding it close to her and supporting her back so she could drink.
Vanessa opened her mouth and sipped from the straw. Luke’s scent - a combination of soap and man - engulfed her. Comforting her yet arousing her.
She drank the water automatically but her eyes were held captive by his blue irises.
As she focused on him, she pulled too strongly on the liquid and it went down the wrong way. She coughed and the movement had her head throbbing.
Concern darkened Luke’s gaze. “Are you in pain? Let me get the doctor.”
He moved toward the door but she stopped him with a hand on his wrist.
“How long have I been here?”
�
�About six hours.”
“And you’ve been here the entire time?”
“I told you I wouldn’t leave. Where else would I be?”
“You didn’t have to stay,” she said. “You’ve already done so much. I don’t know how I could ever pay-”
He stopped her with a gentle finger on her lips. “There’s no other place I’d rather be.”
He stroked her cheek, brushing her hair back. She felt safe and protected around this man. The same way she had felt lying in his arms the night before.
In that moment in time, with just the two of them and the cocoon of night, she had wanted things she had never allowed herself to want before.
Vanessa was a broken woman. No matter how much time had passed, when emotions became involved she was thrust back to being an insecure little girl who believed with all her heart she was unlovable.
How could a man like Luke, one who clearly had a big heart, not see the fraud she was? He would eventually, though. No matter what sweet promises he whispered to her that night, her shortcomings would come to light and he would turn from her. Just like everyone had done. Everyone but Greyson.
But for those hours she had soaked up his amorous attention.
Her head conjured up a future like he said, with a man who craved her presence and love. A man who craved her, flaws and all.
A future like that - with a husband and kids and the beautiful house behind the picket fence - had never been in the cards for Vanessa.
In his arms, she wished it could be.
When morning came she was forced out of the fantasy. The truth was, in the light of day, she realized that she was falling for a man who would one day leave her even more broken.
Would she survive when that happened?
The answer made her heart beat too fast and a cold sweat broke out over her body. In the last few years, she had perfected projecting a sunny façade hut she was the same scared and scarred child underneath. In the grips of a panic attack, her fight or flight instinct had been triggered.
So she ran, determined to leave the night before as just a memory and return to the way things were.
