by L E May
‘There’s a small part of you that is vaguely interested though, isn’t there? Come on, Jones, admit it.’
I closed my eyes and sighed.
‘I’ll admit to being a little confused,’ I said, raising my hand holding my thumb and forefinger a centimetre apart. ‘A little,’ I stressed.
She grinned at me, bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement.
‘A little confused is good, it’s been too long since you had even a vague interest in a real human being.’ She took in my expression and saw I disagreed. ‘No, Olly, TV characters do not count as real people, nor do the actors playing them. Whatever you day-dream about, I can assure you that Alexander Skarsgård is not going to bump into you in the corridor outside your office and fall madly in love with you.’
‘You know stranger things have happened,’ I sulked.
‘But that won’t,’ she said firmly. ‘Olly, the point still remains. Even being a little confused about Steven is a good sign; you’re returning to the real world after your disappointingly doomed romance with Brian.’
I winced. I hated talking about Brian. I don’t know what I was thinking when I got involved with him. We had been hanging out with each other since we were kids, grown up together; he was like a brother to me. When we both returned to London from university, things were a bit different, we’d both changed and it became obvious that he found me attractive. I didn’t feel the same way at all but he was still my favourite person to be around. I continued spending all my spare time with him until it became clear I had to make a choice between leading him on and being with him. I guess he had reached an age at which he had no interest in just being friends with a girl.
The first time he kissed me was quite nice actually; I had realised that not having him around was worse than kissing him. But then naturally he expected more. The first time we had sex was a disaster, I was nervous about him seeing me naked after all these years and I actually had no desire to see him naked.
The whole thing was messy. I found excuses not to have sex; headaches, periods, whatever I could think of. We only actually had sex when I was very drunk. I feared I was stuck in this relationship, because we were friends, we had so much history, our parents were friends and ecstatic that we were together, talking about our families merging. It was too much pressure and whenever I imagined the future, I felt depressed. In the end I broke up with him and I haven’t seen him since.
‘You know you shouldn’t have taken it to heart what he said?’ Ruth was telling me. ‘He was just upset and wanted to hurt your feelings, and besides which even if what he said was true, it’s only because you didn’t fancy him.’
‘He said I was as passionate as a wet lettuce,’ I laughed, ‘and that he got more enthusiasm from a blow-up doll.’ I offered a small smile.
‘Wow, do men really use blow-up dolls?’
‘Would it surprise you if Brian did?’ I asked, shrugging.
She considered the question and shook her head.
‘Nope, he always was a bit of a perv, wasn’t he?’
I laughed. This was the first real conversation I’d had about Brian in five years and it was making me feel much better.
‘He also said I could stand to lose more than a few pounds,’ I said, frowning.
‘Like he could talk!’ she snorted in my defence. Bless Ruth; she always knew what to say.
‘Well maybe back then he was just being a dick, but if he saw me now, blimey he’d be relieved at his lucky escape, I think.’
I was aware that my sedentary lifestyle had resulted in my belly becoming a little soft around the edges. I had lost so many hours of my life to video game programming and playing that most days I ordered takeaway and forgot to exercise. I hadn’t weighed myself but I definitely had to wear bigger clothes these days.
I looked at Ruth and took in her figure. At 5’4, she was petite, her waist was not much bigger than my thigh, and she was dressed immaculately, nails perfectly manicured and her strawberry-blonde hair hung in soft curls across her shoulders.
‘You just need to wear the right clothes, Olly. You cover yourself up in big baggy ones. You want to show off your figure a bit more.’
‘You mean my big belly and my fat arse? I stick out at the front and I stick out at the back. I look like a duck,’ I moaned.
‘You do not look like a duck.’ She laughed. ‘Right, come on, we are going shopping.’
‘I hate shopping,’ I groaned.
‘I know you do, and that’s why you slob about in oversized hoodies. Come on, we’ll get you something nice to wear on Monday.’
‘What’s happening on Monday?’ I asked, searching my memory for any plans I’d made.
‘Your hot new employee will be sitting in your office all day long and you want to give him no reason to be looking at Steph or thinking about Melissa,’ she grinned at me, excited about dressing me up. I sensed this was going to be both embarrassing and expensive.
‘No,’ I shook my head, ‘I don’t want to play dress-up for Steven, it’s ridiculous. I’m his boss. I’m older than him, and even if I did find myself a teensy weensy bit attracted to him, I doubt he would be attracted to me because I’m his boss, I’m older than him, and my arse is twice the size of his.’
‘We are going to make your arse look fantastic. He won’t be able to keep his eyes off it,’ she grinned.
‘I doubt he could keep his eyes off it now, it’s so big it’s always there intruding into his field of vision,’ I laughed. ‘Seriously, Ruthie, I don’t want to attract this guy, I want to bury any small attraction I might have and concentrate on maintaining a good professional relationship.’
Ruth’s face fell, disappointed, and I felt guilty.
‘OK how about this – you can take me shopping, on the condition we get lunch in Burger King?’ I offered.
Ruth wrinkled her nose in disgust but after some consideration she nodded.
‘And I don’t want anything that is designed to make me attract someone I don’t want to attract,’ I warned her. ‘Deal?’
‘Fine, deal.’ She widened her eyes, innocently, ‘besides, whether we are trying to attract anyone or not I’m going to make you look hot. The sexy older boss lady.’ She grinned, waggling her eyebrows at me.
The shopping trip was as expensive as predicted but I had to admit, some of the clothes I had bought were nice. Ruth had made me try on things that I wouldn’t have dreamed of trying, but she was right about everything she suggested. A larger dress size meant I had no unattractive bits of flesh hanging over the top of my jeans. She found trousers with a high waist and a control panel that gave the illusion of a flattened stomach, and she made the most of my otherwise hourglass figure with T-shirts that hugged my sides, drawing the eye away from the belly and focusing on the waist. All in all I was impressed. I looked nice without looking like I’d made an effort to dress up. Most of the T-shirts were superhero related, but rather than my oversized men’s sizes she had insisted on the ladies’ sizes, emphasising the shape of my breasts and waist. Even though the dress size had increased I still looked good. I was pleased. So at least the packaging looked good. As long as no one peeked inside!
Ruth was inspecting my wardrobe, throwing items on the bed she wanted me to throw away and replace with the new clothes. I eyed the pile as it grew, knowing that, as soon as she left, most of it would go back in the wardrobe.
‘So do you have any photos of Steven?’ she asked. ‘Is he on Facebook?’
‘Yes he is – actually I accepted a friend request from him on Thursday.’
I retrieved my laptop from the lounge and settled back on the bed. I pulled up his Facebook profile and turned the screen towards her. She whistled through her teeth.
‘Jesus, he’s pretty cute,’ she agreed. ‘How do you concentrate?’
I laughed.
‘Well up until last night I just thought he was highly annoying and hadn’t really thought about him being cute,’ I sighed, ‘and I don’t intend
to think of him as cute. He’s just Steven, someone I pay to do the work I can’t do. I have a responsibility towards his wellbeing in the workplace but other than that I have no interest in his life outside of the office.’
‘Yeah OK,’ Ruth replied, her voice heavy with sarcasm. ‘He’s posted something on your wall, by the way.’
I turned the screen back to me and looked at his profile. His last activity was a comment on a photo I had been tagged in. I clicked on the image link and recognised a photo Steph had taken of all the tenants around the table in The World’s End. I smiled at his comment: Really nice to meet everyone last night, I love my job! I clicked on my notifications link and clicked through each one. I’d been tagged in several photos from the pub, including one of me and Steven on the double seat at the end of the table, laughing together. If I remembered correctly, he had just told me I was cool.
I noticed a couple of comments underneath the photo. One was from a guy called Chris Knight, which said Wow, Steven, who is this beautiful lady? I felt a blush creep over my cheeks and moved to the next comment from Steven that said She’s my boss, Olivia. I felt a stab of disappointment that he didn’t describe me as anything other than his boss. Clearly, whatever had passed between us last night had been down to alcohol or just my imagination. Another comment followed from Chris Knight. Wow, she’s cute, how do you get any work done? I smiled – that’s what Ruth said about Steven. I looked for a response from Steven but there wasn’t any. I sighed.
‘Well forget Steven, I have another admirer!’ I smiled smugly and pushed the laptop to Ruth. She read the comments and raised her eyebrows at me.
‘I wonder if Chris is as cute as his friend?’ I pressed my finger to my lip in mock contemplation, wondering what I wanted him to look like. ‘He has no photos!’ she exclaimed. ‘Who has a Facebook profile with no photos? That’s weird.’
‘He’s a vampire!’ I laughed. ‘Or maybe his profile is private.’
‘You have a friend request,’ she said, pushing the laptop back to me. ‘Who’s it from?’ she asked when she saw my surprised expression.
‘Chris Knight,’ I laughed, ‘should I accept?’ I was dubious about accepting a friend request from a stranger who had just posted a comment on my photo. It felt predatory but I also felt quite excited that someone was attracted to me. I reasoned that it was harmless enough, an anonymous person in cyber space. Besides which, he was a friend of Steven, not a complete stranger.
‘Yes! Even if it’s just to see his photos!’ Ruth was bouncing on the bed in excitement, all her earlier thoughts of Steven dismissed in light of a new interest, one who wasn’t my employee.
I clicked accept, and shut the laptop.
‘Well look at you, putting yourself out there!’ she laughed. ‘Good job we went shopping!’
Chapter Six
My phone buzzed later that evening with a notification from Facebook. I flipped open my laptop and logged in. Steven had posted another comment in answer to Chris on the photo of us. It said: Yeah she is pretty awesome. I felt my heartbeat quicken and my cheeks flush. I was about to close the lid again when a chat message popped up from Chris Knight.
Chris Knight: Hi Olivia Jones, thanks for adding me.
I was curious about this guy. Why had he added me in the first place, what was his connection to Steven, could I find out more about Steven through Chris? I decided to reply.
Olivia Jones: No worries. I’m curious, though, why did you add me?
Chris Knight: Because you’re very attractive and Steven says you’re pretty cool. And because there’s no such thing as strangers, only friends we haven’t yet met!
That made me smile. My mum had a decorative wall plate with that same statement written on it. I had always thought it was a nice sentiment.
Olivia Jones: That photo caught me in a good light, I’m really not attractive at all.
Chris Knight: So modest. But I wouldn’t expect anything less. Steven said you are a bit of a hermit, seems a shame to deprive the world of your beauty.
Olivia Jones: *Sticks two fingers down throat* Whatever! If you want to believe I’m beautiful you feel free. God knows no one who actually meets me thinks that.
Chris Knight: That simply is not true. Steven finds you very attractive.
My face flushed and my heart thudded loudly in my chest. Really?
Olivia Jones: Steven likes that I created Jerk Chicken, that doesn’t mean I’m beautiful.
Chris Knight: Well beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you should just accept it if someone finds you attractive. I bet you don’t fancy all the same blokes your mates fancy, do you? But they like them, just like men find you attractive even if you don’t think you are worth it.
Olivia Jones: Wow, look at you, Mr Maturity!
Chris Knight: I’ve had enough years’ experience – I’m 32.
Hot older man? I don’t know why I suddenly hoped he was attractive, not like it would make any difference. I frowned at his profile photo – a cartoon drawing of a weightlifter.
Olivia Jones: Oh fair enough, then, I suppose you know what you’re talking about. I suppose you got your education from the university of life and all that nonsense?
Chris Knight: Actually, I’m at university at the moment, as a mature student of course. That’s how I know Steven.
Olivia Jones: So you’re in Edinburgh, then? Are you a fellow nerd?
Chris Knight: I am indeed in Edinburgh but I’m no nerd. I’m studying law. Can you be a law nerd? I shared a house with Steven until he moved to London this summer.
He would definitely have some stories to tell about Steven if he lived with him.
Olivia Jones: I see, so I guess you know him pretty well then? Anything you care to share with me?
Chris Knight: Ha! What happens at uni stays at uni. ;) Besides, I’m more interested in hearing stories about you.
Olivia Jones: I imagine you’ve probably heard everything you need to know about me from Steven. There’s really not much more to tell. I’m really pretty dull.
Chris Knight: Steven doesn’t seem to think you’re dull .
Olivia Jones: Steven is a nerd; he’s straight out of a computer games design degree and his ambition is to do what I’ve done. I’d be offended if he wasn’t at least a little impressed by me, but I’m really only of interest to a small minority of people.
Chris Knight: I loved that Jerk Chicken video by the way.
Olivia Jones: *rolls eyes*
Chris Knight: Haha! Steven said you would do that!
Olivia Jones: He’s learning!
Chris Knight: Right, on that note I will let you get back to your Saturday evening. Any plans?
Olivia Jones: I’m playing Lego Batman on the PS3.
Chris Knight: On a Saturday night?
Olivia Jones: Told you I was dull ;)
Chris Knight: Hmmm I think there’s more to you, Olivia Jones. I look forward to finding out what makes you tick!
Olivia Jones: I think you will be disappointed, sir.
Chris Knight: We shall see. Speak to you soon, Liv.
I felt a stab of disappointment that the short conversation had ended, but I had a feeling I’d be hearing from him again. I wonder what he means about finding out what makes me tick. I shook my head smiling to myself and switched on the PS3.
Chapter Seven
All too soon, the weekend was over and I found myself opening up the office at 9 a.m. Having staff had certainly made my timekeeping more consistent. Steven was an early bird, or maybe he was just making a good impression. I yawned loudly as I made a mental note to speak to him about his preferred start time. I’d certainly like an extra hour in bed!
His voice interrupted my thoughts, making me jump.
‘That was a big yawn. Must’ve been a good weekend?’ There was a hint of teasing in his voice, mixed with surprise. I shook my head.
‘Whatever impression I gave you last week, I’m not a morning person. I usually roll in at 10 a.m. at the ear
liest. The joy of being the boss!’ I smirked.
‘Well you never did tell me a start time, I just assumed it was 9 a.m. I would be more than happy to come in at 10 a.m.,’ he suggested, almost pleaded.
I bristled slightly with annoyance that he was trying to set a later start time and then scolded myself. Be nice, Olivia Jones. You already decided you wanted him to come in later. I swallowed my irritation and reminded myself that Steven didn’t annoy me any more; maybe I should just give him a key to open up? I couldn’t decide whether I was ready to trust him with keys to the building. Maybe in a few weeks.
‘Yeah, good plan. Starting tomorrow!’ I made my way to the kitchenette to make a cup of tea and settled on the sofa.
‘Come sit for a minute,’ I called over before he sat down at his desk. He wandered over and took the proffered mug of tea from me. He looked wary as he sat down; perhaps he thought I might say something about Friday night. Maybe he thought I was going to kiss him. Ha! As if!
‘Good weekend?’ I asked, much to his visible relief.
‘Yes, it was good. Quiet after Friday night. Wow those guys sure can drink. I expected Friday night drinks after work to finish by seven; there’s some serious drinking going on there, does that happen every week?’ I nodded and he whistled through his teeth, then grinned. ‘Good, I enjoyed it. And why not finish off a hard-working week with a few beers? Will you come again?’
‘Oh, I don’t usually bother with all that,’ I waved my hand dismissively.
‘But you had a good time?’ he asked insistently.
‘Well yes, I did, although the best bit was sneaking home pretending to be secret agents!’
He laughed at the memory.
‘You did me a huge favour helping me hide from Melissa, thanks,’ he said warmly.
