by L E May
I let out a slow quiet breath and took a sip of water. I was feeling brave because of all the alcohol.
‘I might just take you up on that, Mr Knight.’ I said trying to inject as much seduction into my tone as I could muster. I stood up, depositing the pizza box on the kitchen counter and walking towards the hallway, removing my jacket. I heard a whistle from the laptop and I turned round surprised, as I hung up my jacket.
‘Walk slowly, I want to look at you.’ His voice was commanding again, like when I’d demonstrated my push-ups earlier. I slowed down my pace and crept on tiptoes to the sofa. ‘You look beautiful.’
I flushed with pride and happiness.
‘Thank you. I need to change though, I’m not overly comfortable in this kind of outfit.’
‘Getting ready for bed? Do I get to see some comfortable flannel pyjamas?’ The teasing tone had returned to his voice and I smiled.
‘I suppose so, if you’re sticking around.’ I walked slowly towards the hallway again, swinging my hips from side to side knowing he would be looking at my bottom.
Chapter Twenty
I pulled open the nightwear drawer, gathering all the items into my arms and dumped them on the bed. I had no idea if I had anything in there that was vaguely attractive but I knew I wasn’t about to walk back into the living room wearing tatty but comfortable pyjamas.
I rummaged through all the items on the bed until I spotted them. Brian had bought me some kind of sexy nightwear for Christmas, optimistically thinking I’d wear it for him, but of course that would have encouraged him and I certainly didn’t want to do that, so the offending items had been shoved to the furthest corner of the nightwear drawer. The set was a matching vest and shorts in black sheer material with lace edging and pink satin ribbon woven through the top edge. They were pretty but they didn’t leave anything to the imagination, I would need to wear something underneath or Chris would see everything. I felt a moment of disgust as I pictured Brian shopping for these, I wondered if he picked up the first thing he saw or if he compared a few sets. I shuddered and shook my head, clearing the image from my mind.
I turned my attention to my underwear drawer and retrieved a matching set, black and pink to match the nightwear, the bra was underwired and slightly padded to push up my breasts. I was amazed by the transformation as I examined myself in the mirror. The diet and exercises had paid off and I looked good. I pulled the band out of my hair and let it fall loose around my shoulders; it was thick and messy but it made me feel slightly less exposed.
What was I doing? Was I really going to go back in front of the camera dressed like this? I remembered Ruth’s talk of cybersex and I felt a jolt of excitement in my stomach. Could I do that? Would I? No, surely not. I looked at myself in the mirror again and decided to see what happened. If nothing else surely he would compliment me and make me feel sexy and attractive. Maybe that was enough for now.
I walked slowly, purposefully into the living room, trying to look nonchalant. So I’m wearing see through sexy nightwear, I thought. Who’s to say I don’t wear this all the time? I heard his sharp intake of breath and smiled to myself. I bent down to pick up the pint glass, knowing as I did it that he would get an eyeful of my backside before moving to the kitchen to refill my glass. I placed the glass on the small table behind the sofa and finally settled down in front of the laptop.
‘Jeez, Liv, what are you doing to me?’
‘What do you mean?’ I asked innocently, although on the inside my stomach was doing somersaults.
‘Nice pyjamas, you look sexy as hell. You wear them often?’ I shrugged.
‘I’m wearing them tonight,’ I stated simply.
‘For someone who’s not had sex for five years you sure have some sexy nightwear.’ His voice sound full of appreciation. I shrugged again.
‘Well truth be told, these were a present from my ex. I guess he hoped to see me in them himself but he didn’t.’
‘Wow, poor guy, he would’ve loved this sight. I’m honoured to be the first guy to see it.’
I smiled. There was no point in pretending otherwise, he already knew my lack of experience.
‘When I opened this present on Christmas day in front of his whole family, I was mortified.’ I giggled at the memory, ‘and every time I’ve found them since I’ve just felt a bit disgusted. I don’t know why I even kept it.’
‘Well I’m glad you did, you look hot in it.’ I could hear the appreciation in his voice and it made me feel attractive and desirable and sexy. I could feel my temperature rising in anticipation, wondering what would happen next.
‘So where did you go tonight?’ He asked, abruptly changing the direction of conversation. I blinked, confused by the return to normal conversation. I don’t know what I was expecting him to do but I felt a little disappointed, almost like I’d been rejected in some way. I mentally shook myself and answered him.
‘We went for cocktails. We were planning to go dancing but we got too drunk!’ I giggled at the memory of the swirly patterns Ruth had described on my face, ‘pizza sobered me up though. Pizza is like the food of the gods!’ I think I believed that. I had missed it so much since I started dieting.
‘It’s a pity you didn’t get to dance. Why don’t you dance now?’ I giggled.
‘I’m not dancing now, I’d feel stupid.’
‘Why?’
‘Dancing is strictly for the anonymity of crowded dance-floors or the privacy of my bedroom.’
‘Well do you see anyone watching you?’ He teased.
I frowned. I couldn’t see him, but I knew he was watching me, that made it different. I heard movement from his end then I heard music coming though the speakers. It was my favourite song, Erma Franklin’s (Take Another Little) Piece of My Heart. How did he know?
‘I love this song’
‘So Facebook told me,’ he explained. ‘Of course I realise this isn’t exactly a song you can dance to.’
I heard the challenge in his voice rather than the acceptance of my refusal and before I gave it a second thought I was on my feet.
I closed my eyes and ignored everything I was feeling and focused on the music. My body started swaying slowly to the rhythm, slow deliberate movements, I crossed my arms around my body, trailing my hands up and down tracing the shape of my hips and back up my sides to my neck, I slowly tilted my head back tickling my neck and trailing my hands down towards my breasts moving back to the sides of my body and dropping my arms to my sides. As the song approached the chorus I arched my back, drawing my hands up my body and throwing my arms into the air, bringing them down slowly, sashaying my body from side to side. I was lost in the music; the webcam, laptop, and Chris all forgotten, I felt the flimsy material beneath my hands and I felt sexy. I enjoyed it, the feeling was thrilling. His voice broke through my trance but didn’t stop me dancing.
‘If I was there right now I’d be moving those straps off your shoulder and trailing kisses along your neck and arm.’
I heard his sharp intake of breath as I slipped the strap over one shoulder, tracing my fingers up my neck and down my arms. I continued swaying gently as I moved to the other strap and repeated my action. His voice was a whisper when he next spoke.
‘Then I’d pull that vest down and let it fall to the floor.’
I crossed my arms over my body, reaching for the straps, and pulled them down my arms, feeling the material strain across my breasts before releasing itself as it moved over and down to my waist. I pulled my arms through the straps and gave my hips a little shake, letting the vest drop to my feet.
‘Then I’d lead you to the sofa and sit you down, sitting on the floor in front of you, between your knees.’
I moved to the sofa as the music came to an end. I was relieved, I knew if I’d been stood up when the music stopped I’d have felt silly, exposed, and vulnerable. Instead I was feeling exhilarated, my body was tingling with desire and excitement. His voice had adopted a husky whisper, betraying his own desire. My he
art was beating loudly in my ears and my breathing was shallow. I leant right back into the sofa and waited for his next instruction.
‘I’d take your face in my hands, stroking your cheek gently, and kissing you long and slow on the lips, teasing your lips apart with my tongue and dancing with yours inside your mouth.’
My stomach somersaulted and I squirmed in my seat. I moved my right hand up to the left side of my face and stroked my cheek, holding my face just below my ear I traced my lips with my thumb slightly parting my lips I touched the tip of my tongue against my thumb, gradually widening my mouth and moving my thumb inside, twirling my tongue around it.
‘I’d pull your bra straps down your arms and I’d trail kisses down your neck, past your collar bone and onto your breasts, teasing your nipple with my tongue.’
I shivered at his words. My left hand drew the right strap over my shoulder and I slowly pulled my thumb from my mouth and traced a line from my lips, across my chin, down my neck to my breast, pulling aside the bra to expose the nipple and tracing a circular pattern with my wet thumb.
My nerves felt like currants of electricity coursing through my body, little pulses of ecstasy jolted through me and I tensed my thighs together, rolling my hips to gain some friction against my public bone. I could feel a dampness spreading through my pants. I felt my nipple harden and pinched it between my thumb and forefinger, rolling it gently. I opened my eyes and glanced at the laptop. I saw myself, just my head and my breasts were caught on camera. I wondered how far Chris would take this, would he just concentrate on what he could see? I moaned involuntarily with frustration and I heard him gasp.
‘I’d turn my attention to your other breast.’ I obliged, pulling down the strap on my right side, I slowly licked my thumb and traced the outline of my body down to the left breast, moving aside the bra and tracing a circle around my nipple, as I felt it harden beneath my touch I pinched and rolled it between my thumb and forefinger. I was feeling braver as this dance went on and I wanted him to see me. I crossed my arms over my body and pulled the bra straps, forcing the bra to fold over itself onto my stomach and out of view of the webcam. I crossed my hands over my chest and concentrated on my breasts, squeezing them in my hands and tracing my thumbs across my nipples. I heard his breathing turn shallow and smiled to myself, satisfied that this was turning him on as much as it was me. I looked directly into the camera and smiled slowly, and, I hoped, seductively.
‘What would you do now, Chris?’
‘I would trail kisses across your stomach, all the way down your thighs, parting your legs and trailing kisses back up your inner thigh.’ I trailed my hands across my stomach and up and down my thighs, slowly tickling my inner thigh. I tensed my thigh muscles but kept my legs apart. The overload of sensation was gathering at the apex of my inner thighs, frustrated and ready to explode. I trailed my fingers across my pants and felt their dampness. A flush of shame washed over me but I shook it off. I needed this.
‘Then I would tease your clitoris with my tongue, licking up and down, slowly, driving you wild until you release yourself to me.’
My fingers moved across my pants rubbing gently, all the sensations finally feeling relief that they were being seen to. I moved my hand inside my pants and felt the dampness pooling in the smattering of hair. My fingers found my clitoris and rubbed gently back and forth, building up pace. My hips rolled, meeting my hand and causing a build-up of friction; my hand moved faster.
‘Come on Liv, come to me,’ his voice was my undoing and I moaned loudly as my orgasm crashed around me, my hips gyrating against my hand, squeezing out every last drop of sensation. I removed my hand from my pants and slumped exhausted against the sofa. I became aware of my surroundings again and what I’d just done and wrapped my arms across my body protectively.
I heard him groan and guessed he’d just had his own orgasm. Satisfaction welled up inside me, knowing that watching me had turned him on.
‘Then I’d wrap my arms around you, kissing your hair, and we’d both fall asleep.’ He sighed.
I giggled and heard him chuckle.
‘Are you OK?’ his voice was gentle, he knew I had a lot of hang ups about this type of thing, he knew I was drunk and he knew I was likely to realise what I’d just done at any minute and freak out. But I knew what I’d done. I knew I’d feel ashamed in the morning but right at that moment I felt amazing, satisfied, and liberated. I nodded, smiling shyly.
‘I can’t believe I just did that.’ My mind was full of wonder, but not embarrassment.
‘You looked so sexy, Liv, you are so sexy. I wish I was there with you right now.’
I smiled. Suddenly thirsty, I remembered about the pint glass of water behind the sofa and turning onto my knees I leant over to retrieve the glass. I heard him chuckle.
‘Man, now I really wish I was there, what I wouldn’t want to do to you in that position.’
I closed my eyes smiling to myself and tried to ignore the feeling of desire welling up in my stomach at his words. I’d never done anything so intimate before, even the few times I’d had sex never felt this special. I felt connected to Chris in a way I’d never experienced.
I realised I no longer cared what he looked like, I just cared that he liked the look of me.
I stood up and bent down to retrieve my vest, keeping my legs straight and bending all the way down, I waited for his reaction grinning to myself. I heard him whistle.
‘Damn, Liv, you got to stop doing that to me.’ I pulled the vest over my head and returned to the sofa grinning. I knew he could still see my breasts through the top and it excited me.
‘You’re right about one thing, Chris, you sure do know how to make a girl feel good about herself’
‘You should feel good about yourself Liv, you’re a beautiful, sexy, smart woman.’
I felt my face flush and a shrugged.
‘Thanks.’
‘Seriously Liv, I’m in awe of you tonight. I wasn’t expecting this. I didn’t think you would ever consider something like this.’ I didn’t like the way he was speaking, I was beginning to feel uneasy about the last thirty minutes, shame was beginning to creep in and I closed my eyes, trying to block out the images in my mind. He saw my body stiffen.
‘Liv,’ his voice was gentle, ‘you’re human, a sexy, desirable woman. There’s no shame in exploring your body and there’s no shame in sharing yourself with someone else. Please don’t freak out about this.’ I nodded. He was right. I’d gone without sex for five years, without having even the slightest desire for sex, and now suddenly I felt alive again. It was weird, but it’s not as if I was the first person to do it. I thought back to the conversation I’d had with Ruth that evening. OK maybe the only weird thing about this was that Chris was a complete stranger to me, but I felt like I knew him after all this time, and he was a friend of Steven. It was OK. And more than anything else, I realised I’d not thought about Steven at all since I switched on the laptop. If this could stop me thinking about Steven, stop me wanting him, stop me regretting my missed opportunity, then that could only be a good thing.
‘OK. But only on one condition.’ I said suddenly.
‘Anything you want, Liv.’
‘I want to do this again.’
Chapter Twenty-one
It wasn’t the banging in my head that woke me the next morning; it was the ringing. An alarm going off in my dream gradually brought me into consciousness as I realised the phone was ringing. I wanted to ignore it, I thought that if I made the effort to get out of bed, by the time I had crossed the hallway into the kitchen the phone would stop ringing. Or it would be some annoying cold caller trying to sell me something. They don’t even have the decency to be people anymore, just automated recorded messages.
The ringing wasn’t stopping and I knew only one person this persistent. Why couldn’t she just call my mobile which was right by my bed?
‘Hello?’ My voice crackled into the phone, my throat was dry and I was beginning to
feel the sensation of too much alcohol despite a lack of headache.
‘Hey, sorry, did I wake you? What time do you call this to still be in bed?’ I swallowed, moistening my throat.
‘Erm, I call it Saturday morning.’ Ruth was not usually known for her love of mornings, I guessed it was quite late if she was up before me, ‘some of us didn’t go to sleep during their night out!’
She giggled.
‘Sorry, I fell asleep in the car.’
‘In the car? You fell asleep standing up at the bar!’ I cried.
She laughed again.
‘So why are you in bed so late anyway?’ A note of suspicion crept into her voice. I frowned, it hadn’t all come back to me yet. I glanced around the room and spotted the empty pizza box on the floor by the sofa.
‘Well I got pizza on the way home, and,’ I trailed off noticing the bra on the arm of the sofa. I glanced down at myself and realised I was in the sheer nightwear Brian had bought me, ‘I think I was chatting to Chris.’ I whispered. Oh no. The memory of the night before came flooding back, slapping me in the face. Ruth heard the change in my voice.
‘You did it, didn’t you? I knew you would, how was it?’ Her voice was excited. I frowned.
‘Seeing right through me is one thing but how do you hear through me too? I couldn’t ever keep anything from you, could I?’ I asked in disbelief.
‘Nope.’ her voice was smug, ‘So? How did it happen?’
‘He asked me to dance.’ I gave her an abridged version of the night before, pausing to cringe as I tried to describe it without going into too much detail. She laughed at my awkward account and obvious discomfort. Sex wasn’t something that embarrassed Ruth; she’d probably get on well with Chris.
It was good talking to her about it though, it helped keep the shame at bay. I hadn’t imagined I would ever admit to what I’d done last night but Ruth wasn’t the slightest bit fazed, she was encouraging and helped me see the fun side to it. I waited for guilt to rear its ugly head, but it didn’t. My devil was sitting on my struggling angel, grinning widely.
