“Don’t say anything weird to him.”
“I won’t. Call your brother and dad, dear. We better eat so everything will be cleaned up by the time Robert comes over. What’s his last name again?”
“Miller. His name is Robert Miller. And, he’s a widower. His first wife, Grace, died of cancer.”
Her mother paused. “So he’s had his share of obstacles, too.”
“Yes. Yes, he has.”
“Lilly?”
Lilly paused. “Yes?”
“Honey, if this Robert Miller has caught your eye after everything you’ve been through, he must be a very special man.”
“I think so.”
“You’re a wonderful girl, Lilly. And maybe it doesn’t really matter if he’s Amish or not. And though a year ago I never would have imagined saying this, I don’t think the Amish are much different from us. I know I’ve really enjoyed getting to know Elsa.”
Just thirty minutes later, Robert was in the house.
It felt strange to see him in the family room. Robert’s steady presence seemed to take up a lot of space. And the stiff way he stood, hat in hand, made her realize that he, too, was feeling the awkwardness of the situation.
Standing by his side, Lilly smiled at him encouragingly as her parents asked him too many questions.
When he’d first arrived, Ty had bounded in, Midnight in his arms. Robert’s expression had gentled as he’d carefully rubbed the kitten’s neck. Then Ty left to go watch TV and her parents had begun their questions in earnest.
Lilly wasn’t sure when her dad had been informed about Robert’s visit, or about her intentions to keep seeing him, but like her mom, he was on good behavior.
Except that neither of them was content to leave them alone.
“You can make a living building furniture, Robert?”
“I don’t just build furniture. Sometimes people hire me to make custom cabinets for their kitchen. Or to make a mantel for their fireplace.”
“I didn’t know there was a market for such things.”
“It’s not cheap. But the work is good,” Robert said modestly.
“It is beautiful,” Lilly said. “I’ve visited the shop and seen everything for myself.”
“I’ll have to stop by,” her dad murmured. “Soon.”
Her mother gestured to the pair of couches. “I feel funny, standing in the living room like this. Why don’t we all sit down? I could get us some coffee.”
Robert’s eyes widened. Lilly took it on herself to save him. “Actually, we’re going to go sit on the front porch.”
Her father scoffed. “Lilly, it’s forty degrees out there.”
“I’ll be fine. Robert, will you?”
He fingered his jacket. “Forty degrees isn’t so cold.” Lilly pulled him out of the living room and guided him toward the front door.
“Lilly, Robert? Would you two like some hot chocolate?” her mother asked.
“That would be nice,” he said, smiling her mother’s way. “I know Lilly enjoys hot chocolate very much.”
Just as they closed the door behind them, Lilly heard her father say, “How in the world does that guy know that?”
When they were finally alone, Lilly stood by Robert’s side in the fading light. Few stars were out; clouds had descended on the area. Sleet and rain were expected overnight.
After a long moment, Robert grinned. “I have to say, I’ve never been so thankful for a front porch.”
Lilly bypassed the two wicker chairs and sat on the stoop. Robert sat next to her. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I never imagined that my parents would trap you in our family room like that.”
“Asking questions is no problem. I had the answers, you know.”
“You did, didn’t you? I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget just how mature you are. I bet nothing gets you very rattled.”
“Some things rattle me,” he said softly, his eyes searching hers. “But you’re right. Not much does make me uncomfortable. Is that a bad thing?”
“No. It’s a very good thing. See, sometimes I forget that you don’t need me standing by your side, trying to help you out.”
“I liked it. You reminded me of a guard dog barking loud enough to scare off anyone who dared to disagree with you.”
“I felt that way, I guess,” Lilly said, chuckling. “I didn’t want them to scare you away.”
“It would take more than inquisitive parents to do that.”
“I’m thankful for that.” Looking for something to say, she gazed at the front yard, at the hedge that separated her family’s property with the Grabers’. “Tell me about church. I saw all the buggies over there on Sunday.”
“Church is church.”
“Come on, Robert. What is it like?”
“It’s a time for worship. But it’s more than that, too. It’s a time to visit and relax. We always share a meal together.”
“And that’s all?”
“More or less. It’s a good time to catch up on news. You know how people like to talk.”
“Did…did you hear any questions about us?”
“No. But…there really is no us, is there?”
Lilly wasn’t sure how to answer that. But she ventured forward. “Maybe there is. That kiss—”
The door opened, startling them and stalling whatever response Robert had been about to make. To their surprise, it was Ty who came out, gingerly carrying mugs of hot chocolate in his hands. “Mom sent me out with these.”
Lilly scrambled up to take them from him. “Tell her thank you.”
Without replying, Ty trotted back in. There were mountains of whipped cream on each mug. Robert looked at the concoction and grinned. “Is this for my benefit, or yours?”
“Mine.”
“I like your sweet tooth.”
“Robert—”
He interrupted her. “I don’t know what to say about that kiss except that I enjoyed it.”
“Do you regret it?”
“I should.”
“Oh.” She felt like he was fishing for responses from her, but she wasn’t sure whether she should grab hold of his line or keep her feelings in the shadows.
“But I don’t.”
“I don’t, either.” Lilly looked at him in wonder. What had they just admitted? Only that they shared a very personal attraction?
He sipped his drink. “However, I don’t suppose we should kiss each other again. That is, anytime soon.”
“No. Probably not.”
Robert set his mug on the step next to him. Turned to her. Treated her to an incredibly slow, terribly attractive smile. “I want you to know…Fact is, you make me happy, Lilly. Today, right now, that’s good enough for me. I haven’t been all that happy over the last few years.”
“I know what you mean.”
“So, if you’re in agreement, perhaps we could spend more time together.”
“And not kiss.”
He shook his head, like he couldn’t believe her gall. Then, he laughed. “This is why I can’t stay away from you, Lilly Allen. You make me laugh.”
As the sky darkened, she relaxed beside Robert. “Would you like to hear about the crazy customer I waited on this afternoon?”
Reaching out, he grasped her hand. “Of course,” he murmured.
Taking the lead, she did her best to entertain him, taking special care to exaggerate the woman’s mannerisms just enough to make him grin.
One story led to another. And another…as the sky grew dark and their laughter echoed across the wide, open spaces. Their hands melding together. Perfectly matched. Everything was going to be okay.
Nothing about the future needed to be decided. And for right now, for this week, that was more than enough.
Never again would she take happiness for granted.
Chapter 12
His family seemed bigger when they were all gathered around the fireplace and sitting still.
When Caleb had mentioned to his parents that he had something very i
mportant to speak to them about, his mom turned to him in concern. “How important, Caleb?”
“Real important.” Even though her eyes had widened with worry, Caleb hadn’t tried to allay her fears. After all, what he wanted to discuss with his family was terribly important to him.
Probably the most important thing he ever had to speak of in his entire life.
“I see. Well, if things are that important, I will make sure all of us are here. Tim and Clara, too.”
Even his cousin and his old schoolteacher? Well, perhaps that was the right choice. The more who heard his words, the less discussion there would be when everything was said and done.
“Will seven o’clock work for you?”
“Anytime is fine, Mamm.”
“Seven will be best, then. It will be right after supper.” Brushing her hands against each other, she murmured, “I’ll go send Judith to the store to let Joshua and Gretta know. Carrie can walk over to Tim and Clara’s now.”
Caleb felt uncomfortable that everyone went to so much trouble for him.
But as he looked at everyone assembled—everyone he loved—Caleb knew he had made the right choice. And Lilly had given him the right advice as well. It was better to have secrets out in the open, especially secrets that would affect others.
His heart warmed as he surveyed the room: all six of his siblings were there. Even little Toby, all of three. Next up was Maggie, trying to be a big girl at five. Carrie, at seven. Anson and Judith and Joshua and his wife Gretta.
In two chairs next to the fireplace, Cousin Tim and Clara were sitting together, unabashedly holding hands. Since they’d been married, they only had eyes for each other. The whole family would have taken to teasing Tim except for the fact that they were all so happy for Clara and didn’t want to embarrass her. She was terribly shy. And, love and affection was a new thing for her, too. Even Caleb knew she’d never imagined that she’d marry.
Just before his gaze moved past them, Caleb met Clara’s knowing look. For a moment, he almost lost his nerve. Clara—being his former schoolteacher—had a way of peering right through all his layers, like she saw far more than anyone could have guessed. He would be hard-pressed to ever lie to her.
Sitting beside him, Judith and Joshua were snacking. Somehow, Mamm had made time to bake up a batch of pumpkin bars—his older siblings’ favorite.
“Caleb, are you ready?” his father murmured as he walked by with a steaming hot mug of coffee.
“I am.”
With a look of understanding, Daed took his seat, a rocking chair on the other side of the fireplace. When he settled in, all eyes turned to him. “Perhaps we all ought to say a prayer,” his father murmured.
Immediately, they all bowed their heads.
Caleb was used to silent prayers, as was the Amish way. But this time their father spoke. “Dear Heavenly Father, please be with us as we all help Caleb. Please let him know our love for him, and our belief in his strength and abilities. In Your name we pray. Amen.”
A chill ran up his arms as one by one, each person in the room raised their head and looked at him. Waiting.
It was time. Because he felt like he should, Caleb got to his feet. “I think I need to leave here for a time. As part of my rumspringa,” he said bluntly. The moment the words were out of his mouth, Caleb braced himself for a slew of comments. Waited for Joshua to tell him he was acting stupid. For Cousin Tim to shake his head in disappointment.
But instead, everyone just looked like they were waiting for something more for him to say.
Now he felt even more on the spot. “This hasn’t been an easy choice,” he added slowly. “I’ve been restless.” Looking out the window behind his father, Caleb thought about how the hills were beckoning him. Not to go out into the wilderness, but to venture beyond them. To other cities and places. Other places where he could start over with a clean slate.
At least, he thought that was what he wanted. “I need to see more of the world. Other places beyond Sugarcreek. I want to try new things.”
Joshua grunted. “What sort of things?”
“Nothing bad. Just stuff. I want to go to movies. To learn to drive a car. To talk on a cell phone…” His words drifted off as he realized how childish he was sounding.
“But Caleb, you already have been able to do some of that. Why do you need to go far away?”
“I didn’t say I’d go far.”
“If not far, then where would you go?” Carrie asked. Of course Carrie would ask such a thing. She always went straight to the point, no matter what the topic. “I don’t know. Maybe Cleveland.”
Carrie wrinkled her nose. “What’s there?”
Oh, he wished he had all the answers, but he didn’t. “I don’t know.”
“Then why do you want to go?”
To Caleb’s surprise, Joshua put his hand on Carrie’s shoulder. “Enough, Carrie. Learn patience. Caleb is doing his best to explain.”
“I’m trying, but it’s more of a feeling, you see. I feel like it’s something I’ve got to at least try. If that makes any sense.”
His mother looked on the verge of tears, but to his surprise, she didn’t look as shocked as he had thought she would be. “How long do you intend to go for? How long is ‘a time’?”
“I don’t know.”
“You must have some thoughts. Forever? Do you think you’ll leave forever?”
He swallowed hard. He knew what she was asking. Did he intend to leave and never return to Sugarcreek? To their way of life?
Such a question deserved an honest answer. “Maybe.” He cleared his throat. “That is what I’m thinking about. I’m not just looking for new things to do…I’m thinking that maybe I don’t want to join the church.” There. He said it.
The tension in the room thickened as they all watched their father struggle to control his temper.
“Caleb,” he bit out, “don’t play games.”
“I’m not.” Feeling trapped, he began to talk faster. “I know what you all are thinking. And believe you me, I’ve been thinking the same things.”
Judith blinked. “And what is that?”
“Oh, you know…that I shouldn’t want to do anything else. That I should be happy with how things are. That after seeing everything on the outside, I should be happy staying where I’m at.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth, bruder,” Joshua warned.
Caleb admired his older brother. In his eyes, Joshua was everything he should have been. So in some ways, his disappointment was hardest to bear. “I guess you think I’m an idiot.”
Shaking her head, Judith stood up and slipped an arm around his shoulders, giving him support.
He looked at her in surprise. “Oh, bruder,” she murmured with a sad, small smile. “Don’t you know your family any better? None of us is thinking you’re an idiot.”
He was almost afraid to follow her gaze. “No?”
“No. Caleb, you may be shocked to hear this, but I, for one, have suspected for some time that this announcement of yours was coming.”
“You—you did?”
With a sad smile, Judith nodded. “It’s been no secret that you’ve been dissatisfied with how things are. Plus, we know you’ve talked to Mrs. Miller, and she’s helped other kids get away.”
“These feelings have been brewing for a while, haven’t they?” Joshua murmured.
There was no point in denying it. “Jah.” “Even I knew you were feeling lost,” Gretta added. “I haven’t meant to be,” Caleb said quickly. “I just have.”
With a winsome look in Joshua’s direction, Gretta murmured, “I know about feeling lost. Sometimes you can feel that way even though you know you have everything you need. But ya can’t help it…right?”
“Right.” Caleb felt at a loss for words. He felt so much love. So much support. All day he’d been mentally preparing himself to face a crowd of condemnation. Instead, his family was reaching out to him.
Maybe not in support, but definit
ely in concern. “So, how were you planning to leave us? You weren’t planning to sneak away, were ya?”
Well, there was the anger he’d expected to hear. “I don’t want to do that, Mamm. That’s why I asked to speak with you and Daed.” He looked around at everyone with a mild annoyance. “You didn’t have to call a family meeting.”
“I’m glad I’m here,” Anson announced. “I hate being left out.”
Clara chuckled. “I have to agree with you there, Anson. I’m glad we’re all here.”
“When are you planning to leave us?” his father asked.
“Do you have a date in mind?”
Just the thought of something so exact made his hands sweat. “Not exactly.”
“Really?”
“Really. Daed, I don’t want to make trouble, I just want to follow the direction that God is choosing for me. And I’ve felt Him give me the strength to talk to you all. I have been praying about it.”
He rocked back and forth. “I see. Prayer is gut, of course.”
Still looking to be the angriest person in the room, his mother cleared her throat. “So, son, you don’t know where you’re going, or when you’re going to do anything…or what you’re going to do?”
“I did mention how I was feeling to Lilly. She is the one who said that maybe I could just go somewhere for a little while. Just to see what I thought about living away.”
“Did she have some place in mind?”
Feeling like he was betraying a confidence, he nodded.
“She said maybe I could stay with some friends of hers back in Strongsville. I’m not sure, though. It was just an idea.”
Caleb braced himself. Finally, here it would come. The reprimands.
“But nothing was decided?”
He shook his head slowly. “No. She said I should talk to you.”
“If this is what you are truly wanting to do, I think you should go talk to Lilly again,” Clara said, surprising them all.
Tim stared at her. “Why would you suggest that?”
“Just because we don’t want something to happen, doesn’t mean it won’t. Plus, it’s been my experience that being denied something only makes it seem more special.”
Seasons of Sugarcreek 03. Autumn's Promise Page 11
