“But you never found her,” I said softly. “Did you?”
He took a long time in answering, his eyes weighing me heavily. I wondered what he was thinking about. Her? His own pain? Or was he analyzing me?
“No,” he said finally. “I had to stop. The guardians needed me more.”
He spoke in that calm, controlled way that guardians excelled at, but in his eyes, I saw grief—a grief I more than understood. I hesitated before taking a shot at the only chance I had to not get busted and end up in a jail cell.
“I know . . . I know you have every reason to drag me out of here and turn me in. You should. It’s what you’re supposed to do—what I’d do too. But the thing is, this . . .” I again nodded at the folder. “Well, I’m kind of trying to do what you did. I’m trying to save someone.”
He remained quiet. He could probably guess who I meant and assumed “save” meant “kill.” If he knew who I was, he’d know who my mentor had been. Few knew about my romantic relationship with Dimitri, but me caring about him would have been a foregone conclusion.
“It’s futile, you know,” Mikhail said at last. This time, his voice cracked a little. “I tried . . . I tried so hard to find her. But when they disappear . . . when they don’t want to be found . . .” He shook his head. “There’s nothing we can do. I understand why you want to do it. Believe me, I do. But it’s impossible. You’ll never find him if he doesn’t want you to.”
I wondered how much I could tell Mikhail—how much I should. It occurred to me then that if there was anyone else in this world who understood what I was going through, it would be this man. Besides, I didn’t have a lot of options here.
“The thing is, I think I can find him,” I said slowly. “He’s looking for me.”
“What?” Mikhail’s eyebrows rose. “How do you know?”
“Because he, um, sends me letters about it.”
That fierce warrior look immediately returned. “If you know this, if you can find him . . . you should get backup to kill him.”
I flinched at those last words and again feared what I had to say next. “Would you believe me if I said there was a way to save him?”
“You mean by destroying him.”
I shook my head. “No . . . I mean really save. A way to restore him to his original state.”
“No,” Mikhail said swiftly. “That’s impossible.”
“It might not be. I know someone who did it—who turned a Strigoi back.” Okay, that was a small lie. I didn’t actually know the person, but I wasn’t going to get into the string of knowing-someone-who-knew-someone . . .
“That’s impossible,” Mikhail repeated. “Strigoi are dead. Undead. Same difference.”
“What if there was a chance?” I said. “What if it could be done? What if Ms. Karp—if Sonya—could become Moroi again? What if you could be together again?” It’d also mean she’d be crazy again, but that was a technicality for later.
It felt like an eternity before he answered, and my anxiety grew. Lissa couldn’t compel forever, and I’d told Mia I would be fast. This plan would fall apart if I didn’t get out soon. Yet, watching him deliberate, I could see his mask falter. After all this time, he still loved his Sonya.
“If what you’re saying is true—and I don’t believe it—then I’m coming with you.”
Whoa, no. Not in the plan. “You can’t,” I said swiftly. “I’ve already got people in place.” Another small lie. “Adding more might ruin things. I’m not doing it alone,” I said, cutting off what I figured would be his next argument. “If you really want to help me—really want to take a chance on bringing her back—you need to let me go.”
“There’s no way it can be true,” he repeated. But there was doubt in his voice, and I played on it.
“Can you take that chance?”
More silence. I was starting to sweat now. Mikhail closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then he stepped aside and gestured to the door. “Go.”
I nearly sagged in relief and immediately grabbed the door handle. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“I could get in a lot of trouble for this,” he said wearily. “And I still don’t believe it’s possible.”
“But you hope it is.” I didn’t need a response from him to know I was right. I opened the door, but before going through, I paused and glanced at him. This time, he no longer hid the grief and pain in his face. “If you mean it . . . if you want to help . . . there might be a way you can.”
Another piece of the puzzle had unraveled itself for me, another way we might pull this off. I explained what I needed from him and was surprised at how quickly he agreed. He really was like me, I realized. We both knew the idea of bringing back Strigoi was impossible . . . and yet we so, so wanted to believe it could be done
I slipped back upstairs alone after that. Don wasn’t at his desk, and I wondered what Mia had done with him. I didn’t wait to find out and instead headed outside, off to a small courtyard that we’d established as our rendezvous point. Mia and Lissa were both waiting there, pacing. No longer distracted with anxiety, I opened myself to the bond and felt Lissa’s agitation.
“Thank God,” she said when she saw me. “We thought you’d been caught.”
“Well . . . it’s a long story.” One I didn’t bother with. “I got what I needed. And . . . I actually got a whole lot more. I think we can do this.”
Mia gave me a look that was both wry and wistful. “I sure do wish I knew what you guys were doing.”
I shook my head as the three of us walked away. “No,” I replied. “I’m not sure that you do.”
FIVE
I DECIDED IT’D BE BEST if Lissa and I stayed up late when we returned to her room, poring over the documents. She was a jumble of feelings when I told her about my encounter with Mikhail—which I hadn’t mentioned to Mia. Lissa’s initial reaction was surprise, but there were other things too. Fear over the trouble I could have gotten into. A bit of warm romanticism over what both Mikhail and I were willing to do for those we loved. Wonder if she would do the same if Christian were in that situation. She decided instantly that she would; her love for him was still that strong. Then she told herself that she actually didn’t care about him anymore, which I would have found annoying if I wasn’t so distracted.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
I’d sighed aloud in dismay without realizing it while I read her thoughts. Not wanting her to know I’d been perusing her mind, I pointed at the papers spread out on her bed. “Just trying to make sense of this.” Not entirely that far off from the truth.
The prison’s layout was complex. The cells occupied two floors and were tiny—only one prisoner per cell. The papers didn’t explain why, but the reason was obvious. It went along with what Abe had said about keeping criminals from turning Strigoi. If I’d been locked away in prison for years, I could understand the temptation of cracking and killing my roommate to become Strigoi and escape. The cells were also kept housed in the very center of the building, surrounded by guards, offices, “exercise rooms,” a kitchen, and a feeders’ room. The documents explained guard rotations, as well as prisoner feeding schedules. They were apparently escorted to the feeders one at a time, heavily guarded, and only allowed very short spurts of blood. Again, everything kept the prisoners weak and prevented them from turning Strigoi.
It was all good information, but I had no reason to believe any of it was up-to-date, since the file was five years old. It was also likely the prison had all sorts of new surveillance equipment in place. Probably the only things we could count on being the same were the prison’s location and the building’s layout.
“How good are you feeling about your charm-making skills?” I asked Lissa.
Although she hadn’t been able to put as much spirit healing into my ring as a woman I knew named Oksana could, I had noticed my darkness-induced temper soothed a little. Lissa’d made a ring for Adrian too, though I couldn’t say for sure if it was what w
as helping him control his vices lately—vices he usually indulged in to control spirit.
She shrugged and rolled over onto her back. Exhaustion filled her, but she was trying to stay awake for my sake. “Getting better. Wish I could meet Oksana.”
“Maybe someday,” I said vaguely. I didn’t think Oksana would ever leave Siberia. She’d run off with her guardian and wanted to keep a low profile. Besides, I didn’t want Lissa over there anytime soon after my ordeals. “Have you been able to put in anything besides healing?” A moment later, I answered my own question. “Oh, right. The spoon.”
Lissa grimaced, but it turned into a yawn. “I don’t think it worked so well.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm?”
I glanced back at the blueprints. “I’m thinking if you could make a few more compulsion charms, it would go a long way to help with this. We need to make people see what we want them to see.” Surely if Victor—whose powers of compulsion were nowhere near hers—had managed a lust charm, she could do what I needed. She just needed more practice. She understood the basic principles but had trouble making her desired effects last. The only problem was that in asking her to do this, I was making her use more spirit. Even if the side effects didn’t show up right away, they would likely come back to haunt her in the future.
She glanced at me curiously, but when I saw her yawn again, I told her not to worry about it. I’d explain tomorrow. She offered no argument, and after a quick hug, we each retired to our own beds. We weren’t going to get much sleep, but we had to get what we could. Tomorrow was a big day.
I’d worn a variation of the guardians’ formal black-and-white outfit when I went to Victor’s trial. In normal bodyguard situations, we wore ordinary clothes. But for fancy events, they wanted us looking crisp and professional. The morning after our daring break-in, I got my first true taste of guardian fashion.
I’d worn hand-me-down clothes at Victor’s trial but now had an official guardian outfit, tailored exactly to my measurements: straight-legged black slacks, a white button-up blouse, and a black dress jacket that fit me perfectly. It certainly wasn’t meant to be sexy, but the way it hugged my stomach and hips did good things for my body. I felt satisfied with my reflection in the mirror, and after several minutes of thought, I pulled my hair into a neatly braided bun that showed off my molnija marks. The skin was still irritated, but at least the bandage was gone. I looked very . . . professional. I was actually kind of reminded of Sydney. She was an Alchemist—a human who worked with Moroi and dhampirs to hide the existence of vampires from the world. With her proper sense of fashion, she always looked ready for a business meeting. I kept wanting to send her a briefcase for Christmas.
If ever there was a time for me to show off, today was the day. After the trials and graduation, this was the next biggest step in becoming a guardian. It was a luncheon that all new grads attended. Moroi eligible for new guardians would also attend, hoping to scope out the candidates. Our scores from school and the trials would have been made public knowledge by now, and this was a chance for Moroi to meet us and put in bids for who they wanted to guard them. Naturally, most guests would be royal, but a few other important Moroi would also qualify.
I really had no interest in showing off and hooking a posh family. Lissa was the only one I wanted to guard. Still, I had to make a good impression. I needed to make it clear that I was the one who should be with her.
She and I walked over to the royal ballroom together. It was the only place large enough to hold us all, since more than just St. Vladimir’s grads were in attendance. All the American schools had sent their new recruits, and for a moment, I found the sea of black and white dizzying. Bits of color—royals dressed up in their finest clothing—livened the palette up a little. Around us, soft watercolor murals made the walls seem to glow. Lissa hadn’t worn a ball gown or anything, but she looked very elegant in a formfitting teal dress made of raw silk.
The royals mingled with the social ease they’d been raised with, but my classmates moved about uneasily. No one seemed to mind. It wasn’t our job to seek out others; we would be approached. The grads all wore name tags—engraved metal ones. There were no HELLO, MY NAME IS . . . stickers here. The tags made us identifiable so that the royals could come and do their interrogations.
I didn’t expect anyone except my friends to talk to me, so Lissa and I headed straight for the buffet and then occupied a quiet corner to munch on our canapés and caviar. Well, Lissa ate caviar. It reminded me too much of Russia.
Adrian, of course, sought us out first. I gave him a crooked grin. “What are you doing here? I know you aren’t eligible for a guardian.”
With no concrete plans for his future, it was assumed Adrian would simply live at Court. As such, he’d need no outside protection—though he’d certainly qualify if he chose to strike out into the world.
“True, but I could hardly miss a party,” he said. He held a glass of champagne in his hand, and I wondered if the effects of the ring Lissa had given him were wearing off. Of course, the occasional drink really wasn’t the end of the world, and the dating proposal’s language had been loose in that area. It was mostly the smoking I wanted him to stay away from. “Have you been approached by a dozen hopeful people?”
I shook my head. “Who wants reckless Rose Hathaway? The one who drops out without warning to do her own thing?”
“Plenty,” he said. “I sure do. You kicked ass in the battle, and remember—everyone thinks you went off on some Strigoi-killing spree. Some might think it’s worth your crazy personality.”
“He’s right,” a voice suddenly said. I looked up and saw Tasha Ozera standing near us, a small smile on her scarred face. In spite of the disfigurement, I thought she looked beautiful today—more royal than I’d ever seen her. Her long black hair gleamed, and she wore a navy skirt and lacy tank top. She even had on high heels and jewelry—something I was certain I’d never seen her wearing.
I was happy to see her; I hadn’t known she’d come to Court. An odd thought occurred to me. “Have they finally let you have a guardian?” The royals had a lot of quiet, polite ways of shunning those who were in disgrace. In the Ozeras’ case, their guardian allotment had been cut in half as kind of a punishment for what Christian’s parents had done. It was totally unfair. The Ozeras deserved the same rights as any other royal family.
She nodded. “I think they’re hoping it’ll shut me up about Moroi fighting with dhampirs. Kind of a bribe.”
“One you won’t fall for, I’m sure.”
“Nope. If anything, it’ll just give me someone to practice with.” Her smile faded, and she cast uncertain looks among us. “I hope you won’t be offended . . . but I put in a request for you, Rose.”
Lissa and I exchanged startled glances. “Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“I hope they’ll give you to Lissa,” Tasha added hastily, clearly uncomfortable. “But the queen seems pretty dead-set on her own choices. If that’s the case . . .”
“It’s okay,” I said. “If I can’t be with Lissa, then I really would rather be with you.” It was the truth. I wanted Lissa more than anyone else in the world, but if they kept us apart, then I’d absolutely prefer Tasha to some snobby royal. Of course, I was pretty sure my odds of getting assigned to her were as bad as those of getting assigned to Lissa. Those who were angry at me for running off would go out of their way to put me in the most unpleasant situation possible. And even if she was being granted a guardian, I had a feeling Tasha’s preferences wouldn’t be high priority either. My future was still a big question mark.
“Hey,” exclaimed Adrian, offended that I hadn’t named him as my second choice.
I shook my head at him. “You know they’d assign me to a woman anyway. Besides, you’ve got to do something with your life to earn a guardian.”
I meant it jokingly, but a small frown made me think I might have actually hurt his feelings. Tasha, meanwhile, looked relieved. “I’m glad
you don’t mind. In the meantime, I’ll do what I can to help you two.” She rolled her eyes. “Not that my opinion counts for much.”
Sharing my misgivings about getting assigned to Tasha seemed pointless. Instead, I started to thank her for the offer, but we were then joined by yet another visitor: Daniella Ivashkov. “Adrian,” she chastised gently, a small smile on her face, “you can’t keep Rose and Vasilisa all to yourself.” She turned to Lissa and me. “The queen would like to see you both.”
Lovely. We both stood up, but Adrian remained sitting, having no desire to visit his aunt. Tasha apparently didn’t either. Seeing her, Daniella gave a curt, polite nod. “Lady Ozera.” She then walked away, assuming we’d follow. I found it ironic that Daniella seemed willing to accept me but still held that typical aloof Ozera-prejudice. I guess her niceness only went so far.
Tasha, however, had long since grown immune to that sort of treatment. “Have fun,” she said. She looked over at Adrian. “More champagne?”
“Lady Ozera,” he said grandly, “you and I are two minds with a single thought.”
I hesitated before following Lissa to Tatiana. I’d taken in Tasha’s grand appearance but only now really paid attention to something. “Is all your jewelry silver?” I asked.
She absentmindedly touched the opal necklace around her neck. Her fingers were adorned with three rings. “Yes,” she said, confused. “Why?”
“This is going to sound really weird . . . well, maybe not compared to my normal weirdness. But could we, um, borrow all of those?”
Lissa shot me a look and immediately guessed my motives. We needed more charms and were short on silver. Tasha arched an eyebrow, but like so many of my friends, she had a remarkable ability to roll with weird ideas.
“Sure,” she said. “But can I give them to you later? I don’t really want to strip my jewelry in the middle of this party.”
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