by Kira Adams
“He’s home with his father.”
I nodded lightly. I had no idea how such a thing was going to affect him; and to know I was a part of it? I wasn’t sure I could ever face him again. “Did you see him? Did you talk to him?”
“Briefly, it was more in passing,” she replied.
“Is he okay?”
“As okay as he can be for what he has on his plate. He held it together if that is what you are asking.”
I was in the hospital, Jax was dead, and Jace may never forgive me…and I thought my life couldn’t get any worse. It had been so long since something had actually gone my way I was beginning to think the universe was against me. “He’ll never want anything to do with me now.” My cheeks began growing hot but I didn’t try to push it down this time. If there was ever a time I deserved a cry; it was now.
“Don’t say that,” Kayleigh whispered, taking my hand in hers and rubbing it softly. “He will just need time to process; as everyone will. Give him a little space; he’ll come back if he truly cares about you.”
I hoped Kayleigh was right but the tears were free flowing now and I wasn’t sure I would be able to stop them.
Chapter 13
You Could be Everything I Ever Wanted
— Everything I Ever Dreamed.
Russian Roulette
Russian roulette
Game of life or death
Nothing is certain
Everything’s a bet
Your money’s your life
Something you’ll never forget
If you win
You’ll play again
It had been a couple of weeks since the accident. I had been released from the hospital after a few days and had been home resting ever since. My parents had insisted I take it easy, and I couldn’t say I disagreed. I had round the clock care from my loving and supportive family and friends.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t heard from Jace and that consumed my every thought. I knew I hadn’t imagined him at my bedside when I first awoke in the hospital. So when there had been deafening silence from him I panicked. What if he blamed me for his brother’s death?
Jax’s passing hadn’t been easy on me. His funeral came and went and Kayleigh said it was a full house. I asked her if she had caught sight of Jace, it was a negative. It was like he had just up and checked out; disappearing into thin air. His Facebook status hadn’t been touched since the week of our passionate encounter. The last update mysteriously read, You could be everything I ever wanted---everything I ever dreamed. I could give you everything you ever imagined---everything you never thought possible. Vulnerability has never been my strong suit but you make me want to take that leap. I can’t tell you how many times I had updated his page and reread his status over and over trying to find underlying hints it was about me. But the more I visited it and tortured myself over it the more I began to believe it was written about Olivia. It didn’t help that the majority of the comments on it were from mutual friends of theirs commenting how adorable or sickly disgusting it was that he was professing his love for her online. Olivia even liked his status after their confrontation the night of the beach trip…meaning she must have also assumed it was meant for her. It was beginning to be a trend; one that was going to be impossible to ignore. I hadn’t dared texting him. I just tortured myself in silence waiting for him to reach back out to me. Let me back in.
Colton had visited me while I was still in the hospital; the sight of me definitely alarming him. I hadn’t wanted anyone to see my face as it was, but he was persistent as always. We talked for a long time, must have been close to three hours when the nurses kicked him out because visiting hours had ended. He told me that if it were a different time or a different place we would be together…but he still loved Tara and with the knowledge of their unborn child, he felt it only right to try to make it work. While it hurt like a bitch to hear, I could only commend him for it. He was a good guy, and yes, they did exist. He kissed me one last time passionately before commenting, “You know, I’m going to wake up one day and realize I made the biggest mistake of my life…and more than likely you are going to have moved on…and will be happy with someone new.”
“I know,” I said, my forehead pressed against his. “I love you Colton.”
That was the end of the chapter for me and Colton; maybe not the ending of the book but definitely the ending of a chapter. As much as I cared about Colton, and I did, an insane amount…it felt like a weight had been lifted off of my chest. I no longer had to sneak around behind Tara’s back or our friend’s backs with Colton. I no longer had to think about him running back to her because he had chosen her over me…game over. I had been through a lot the past year and while Colton had seemed like the perfect fit early on for me, I came to realize that I wanted someone who wanted all of me and was willing to jump in head first.
I had been questioned by the police multiple times about the accident, each time they attempted to help me remember the events that led to Jax’s fiery death. More details were released to me from the police and all over the news. The car had crashed into a tree, the impact catapulting me off into some near grass. Jax was unconscious from the blow, and the car caught fire. The explosion was enormous because Jax had been carrying gasoline around in the trunk of his car. I was close enough to the blast I should have been burned to a crisp…but I had mysteriously been moved from the scene of the collision and someone had called 911. The mysterious stranger who showed up out of nowhere, saved my life, and then vanished is what the police had become fixated on; wondering if they might have had a homicide on their hands rather than a simple crash that resulted in death. I became fixated on the thought, idea, or even hope that the mysterious stranger had been Jace. But the longer I went in complete and utter silence from him, the longer I began to doubt that theory entirely.
It was the middle of July and I had finally made an effort at being more social. Brooklyn’s family was having a barbecue and she had invited me and Madison. Noah had been texting me earlier about his boredom so I asked if he could tag along. The three of us were piled into Madison’s red ford focus.
“You haven’t called me to write in a really long time,” Noah exclaimed from the back seat.
I glanced back at him through the mirror on the visor. “I haven’t really felt like writing that much.” It was a total lie, but for some reason I didn’t care.
“Nice green,” he commented, pointing at the color of my cast.
“Yeah, I felt ready for a change.”
“I am starving,” Madison said when we were less than five minutes from Brooklyn’s place.
“You are a bottomless pit,” I joked, knowing Madison had eaten a hearty breakfast less than three hours prior.
“Hey!” She shifted her blue eyes to me and then back to the road. “You can’t fault me for my high metabolism.”
Noah and I just laughed.
She pulled up to Brooklyn’s driveway, parking the car. “I smell food!” Noah taunted her.
She was out of the car faster than I could blink, bolting off in the direction of the smoke. I was just locking the car up when Noah grabbed my arm, holding me back. I looked up at him, confused.
“How have you been?” He asked, suddenly.
“Fine…”I lied.
“Peyton, you don’t seem fine. I normally see you three to four times a week and I can’t remember the last time I saw you. It was definitely before the accident.” A look of concern took over his face.
“I’m fine Noah.” I looked up into his big brown eyes then.
“You’re different.” There it was again…the same assessment I had been receiving about my new body, face, and personality.
“I look different, my hand is broken, I’m a little fragile…that’s it,” I replied huffily.
He ran his hand through his dark black hair. “You have changed.”
“How so?” I tested him.
“You’re not the same girl I started writing music with earlier
this year.” His assessment mildly annoyed me.
“Oh yeah? What is so different about me?” Even though I was frustrated, I wanted to know.
“Everything,” he answered, then lifted his hand to my chin, rubbing his finger gently over my recent forming scar. “Does it hurt?”
Whoa. I didn’t see that one coming. I shied away, shifting my body just enough so he got the hint, nodding my head lightly. “A little.”
“I’m sorry. I know you’ve been through a lot,” he stammered, backing up. “I just worry about you.”
“I know,” I responded feeling equally guilty. “Can we eat now?” I was dying to change the subject…dying to forget his hand on my face. I had been a love struck girl the past year with Colton and then Jace…throwing another into the mix was not in my best interest, no matter how handsome Noah was. No matter that he was exactly my type. He had been a great support system for me as a friend and I didn’t want to lose that. It meant too much to me, he meant too much to me.
“Yeah, of course,” he recovered quickly, and then led me into the barbecue.
I was the main attraction, something I was growing overly tired of; everyone coddling me and acting like I was about to break any second. My scar had been pointed out more than a couple of times and because of my broken hand, no one was letting me do a thing for myself. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
Brooklyn called me after I made it home safely to apologize for babying me. It was hard to remain mad at her; she had been there for me through everything. After making it up to my room and into pajamas I hopped onto my computer, wanting a distraction from everything, well, me. I logged into Facebook and scrolled down my news feed. I was laughing at a hilarious cat video Harper had posted on her page when I saw that Jace had posted recently.
I don’t know how much longer I can do this…was all it read. He had over seventy comments in the short amount of time since he had posted and it had me worried. As much as my stomach twisted into knots about the thought of reaching out to him---I cared too much to let it slide. So I did the one thing that terrified me most and I knew would only spotlight me even more—I commented on his post. It took five times of erasing and rewriting before I was happy with the result.
You can do anything you put your mind to; you taught me that anything is possible. It seemed simple enough and yet this olive branch had me chomping at the bit wondering when he would see it; what he would think about it. Within a mere ten minutes of my comment, it already had thirty likes. The hype over me had not backed down in the slightest. People were calling me a survivor.
A few minutes later my text alert went off. I grabbed my phone from beside me and unlocked it. It was from Jace. It’s like someone took a hammer to my chest and was repeatedly pounding away at me. I had been waiting for countless weeks to hear from Jace. In one small touch of a finger I would get what I wanted. It was nerve-wracking. I took one deep breath in before opening it. 5445 Bluebird Ln., come.
I looked at the clock by my bedside. It was a little after ten. I had been waiting for Jace to reach out to me for too long to pass up the opportunity of seeing him face to face…even if he hated me for what had happened. I quickly changed from my pajamas into a loose fitting t-shirt and yoga pants and throwing my hair up before racing out the door.
Chapter 14
How do You Feel About Strip Poker?
Cincinnati Kidd
The Cincinnati Kidd, making his rounds
Six shooter in his hand, he’ll shoot your down
With the bat of the eye, and a draw of the gun
You’ll walk the line into the sun
Walk ten paces, might as well be a mile
Gun in your hand, you’ll go out in style
Fight to the death, twitch of his brow
He discards you like a dog with a scowl
Draw the cards of the deck, not looking too good
Your hands real slim, maybe you should
Slip a card down your wrist, new one at hand
You’ll surely win if not caught by the man
Walk ten paces, might as well be a mile
Gun in your hand, you’ll go out in style
Fight to the death, twitch of his brow
He discards you like a dog with a scowl
Your hand caught his eye, was it worth the risk?
He says ‘let’s step outside and finish this’
The tumbleweed blows by, you stand in fear
You knew your end would come, but not now, not here
I pulled up to the address I had been given, it was a grey colored two story house with blue shingles. It looked quaint enough. I hopped out of my car and knocked on the door lightly, Jace answered wearing a black hoodie and shorts.
“Hey,” I said when he opened the door wide enough.
“Hey,” he replied.
“Whose place is this?” I motioned with my head towards the house.
“My grandmother; she is out of town. I am house-sitting,” Jace answered me, closing the door behind us. He led me into the living room and took a seat on the loveseat; removing his hood. His head was shaved and surprisingly gave him an edgier look. I wasn’t sure where to start so neutral ground only seemed logical. “When did you do that?” I nodded towards his buzzed head.
“A couple of weeks ago, I needed a change.”
I nodded silently, taking a seat on the couch opposite the loveseat.
“Want to see what else I got?” He asked, not waiting for a response from me, already pulling his sweatshirt off.
My heart rate began increasing when I saw his shirt lift up as he pulled the sweatshirt over his head, exposing his tight stomach. My cheeks grew red with color and I turned my face away for a split second to recover.
“Everything alright?” He asked, nonchalantly.
I nodded, swallowing deeply, turning my attention back to him. “You got a tattoo?” I exclaimed, eyeing the Chinese symbol that was displayed on his upper arm.
“It says faith.” He read my mind.
Jace had no idea but dangerous and sexy was definitely my type. The tattoos only made me lust for him more. “That’s awesome.”
Jace stood suddenly, making his way over to the kitchen. “Hey, you want a beer?”
“Your grandma lets you drink?” I asked.
“My grandma doesn’t know.” He chuckled.
I knew I shouldn’t but I wanted to spend as much time with Jace as possible, so I agreed. He popped the lid off and handed me the corona. “Thanks,” I replied, taking a sip off of it.
He sat down at the dining room table this time. I was still seated on the couch across the room from him. “You wanna play cards?”
I would say yes to just about anything at this point for more time with Jace, so I rose swiftly and joined him at the table. “What are we playing?”
“Poker, Texas Hold ‘Em, you ever played before?” He shot me a quick glance while shuffling the deck.
“Have I ever…” I smiled playfully. Jace had no idea that Texas Hold ‘Em was a staple in my household…especially on holidays. My extended family would play for real money and I always came out at least $300 richer. They had refused to play with me the past few years claiming I cheated.
He shot a grin back at me. “Oh really? Well let’s make this interesting then…”
“What are we playing for?” I asked, curiously.
“How do you feel about strip poker?” His eyes lit up, his eyebrows rising.
Terrible; had I known of his idea, I would have dressed like an Eskimo with tons of layers. I couldn’t bear the thought of Jace seeing my body the way it was. On the other hand I had never lost a game of Texas Hold ‘Em and I was determined to defend my crown. “Deal me in,” I found myself saying.
His grin spread across his entire face. “My-my how you’ve changed Peyton.” There it was again…what if people were right? What if I have changed? Was it for better or for worse?
In the short span of less than an hour and a half, I
had been crushing Jace. I had already produced a full house, three of a kind, and flush among many other winning combinations. Jace was down two shoes, his socks, and his shirt. The sight of him shirtless was making me hot. I was down my shoes and one sock.
“Is there anything you can’t do?” He asked in a joking manner.
I shrugged, baring a wide grin.
“You need to catch up,” Jace motioned toward my almost fully clothed body, taking a long swig of his beer.
I looked down at my shirt knowing there was no way in hell I was ready for Jace to see that part of me.
His phone began buzzing saving me. I sighed in relief. It was sitting on the table in front of him and before he got a chance to swipe his finger across to unlock it, I saw the name on the caller id, Olivia.
I grabbed my phone, pretending to check the time. “Wow, I am so tired…I didn’t realize it was so late. My parents are going to want me home,” I lied through my teeth.
