by Adam Rapp
I was like, What?
But she didn’t say nothing.
So I pulled some staples out of a wooden beam.
I perfected my grip and pulled six nails out of the wall behind the washer-dryer unit.
Proper care, I thought. Proper care.
Then I went over to the Frog and made her take more Aricept pills.
Here, take more of these, I said. They’ll make you feel less demented.
I gave her some with a cup of milk.
* * *
The next night we waited for Takada Flowers at her house. I was nervous about it but Bounce was like, The cops don’t want to bother with Triche Street. They get paid to keep all the thugs from that part of the city out of my neighborhood.
It was the hottest night of the summer. During the ride over, the man on the radio said it was a hundred and one degrees and the humidification was fucking madness. It was like five-fifteen. Bounce wouldn’t turn the air conditioner on cause she said we needed to think like the heat.
While she was driving, she handed Wiggins a screwdriver.
What’s this for? he asked.
Just take it, she said. It’s the night of tools. Tools for all the fools.
He took it and put it in his sock. Wiggins wears his socks high and tight like a cheerleader.
Be ready, I said to him.
He went, For what?
To change the world, Bounce said.
I said, Just be ready, chucklehead.
We only had to wait for Takada Flowers for like ten minutes. She parked her Malibu and came out of her car with two big bags of groceries. Her hair looked oranger than the day before. Oranger and more faker.
Bounce told Wiggins to go offer to carry one of her bags for her.
Who is she? Wiggins asked.
Just go be a good boy scout, she ordered him. Go now!
So Wiggins got out of the Lexus and caught up to her right as she was walking past that stone pitbull that was chained to the picnic table and he said something to her and she smiled and gave him one of her bags and he took it and just before they entered her apartment building he looked back at us like, what the fuck?
Now! Bounce said. Let’s go!
And then we were out of the Lexus with our tools. I stopped the front door of the apartment building with my foot just before it closed. There was a TV on really loud somewhere. It was a baseball game. The Cardinals were playing the Phillies and the pitcher had just beaned the other pitcher.
Wiggins and Takada Flowers were on the second floor. I could hear her keys jingling. Me and Bounce took the stairs two at a time, low and wide, creeping like panthers, and just as they was going into her apartment, Bounce hit her in the back of the head with the hammer. Takada Flowers screamed and dropped her groceries and went down to a knee and a gallon of milk fell on the floor and busted open. Then Bounce turnt Takada Flowers’ cheap-ass old-school TV on and a Lil Wayne video came on and Bounce turnt the volume up loud and Takada Flowers started pleading with Bounce, face down in the puddle of milk, all desperate and begging for her life, please please please, but Bounce hit her again, hard, like three times, one with the claw part of the hammer, and then Takada Flowers went quiet and the blood started mixing with the milk.
Proper care! Bounce screamed. Proper fucking care!
After Bounce took her left shoe, she looked at me. It was a black Nike crosstrainer.
Your turn, she said, panting.
Bounce’s eyes was wild. And her face was drenched with sweat. It was beautiful.
There was a painting of Jesus over the TV. It was irritating me so I tried turning it around but there wasn’t no nail hole on the painting side so I just let it fall down the wall.
Bounce was breathing hard but it wasn’t like she was out of breath, it was like a legend was happening, like she was getting her picture taken after setting a world record.
I took my pliers and reached into Takada Flowers’ mouth and started pulling on her gold nigger tooth. That shit was fucking hard to get out cause a tooth is a bone. Just when I started really digging in, Wiggins stabbed me in my leg with his screwdriver. It was my left leg and it was deep like I think I could feel it hit my leg bone and I ain’t never felt that kind of pain before. It was like lightning going in me. Like lightning or maybe like a scorpion sting or a shark bite.
Wiggins’ face was white and he had puke all down the front of his shirt.
I was gonna give you her tooth! I yelled. I was gonna give you her fucking tooth, chucklehead!
Bounce helped me pull the screwdriver out of my leg. And that’s when I got sick too. I think it was cause of the noises it made. Like my leg wasn’t part of me no more. It was like it turnt into some chicken. There was all this blood and I could see the muscles and the bone and the gristle in my leg. It was stinging and going numb at the same time and I could smell blood in the milk puddle and the room was starting to spin.
After we got the screwdriver out, I lost my conscienceness.
All I remember is Bounce yelling for Wiggins to go start the Lexus. She was squeezing my hand and yelling as loud as she could but Wiggins was already gone.
I could’ve used my knife but I know I would’ve kilt him. Part of me wanted to but the other part knows I’m not no murderist.
I ran all the way back to Orange’s place. It was miles. I ran faster than any man and I ran across Farmer’s Bridge and I ran past all the crackheads on Sink Boulevard even though they laughed at me and called me honky bitch and I ran through Cedarwood Heights and when I got to Piano Road my lungs were burning and my tongue was going numb and my legs were heavy like I was wearing big dumb cartoon shoes but I ran the whole way.
If I woulda took out my knife I woulda slitted his throat so I used the screwdriver instead.
I know there’s a badness in me.
I know that’s how I been made and I know it sleeps in the river of my blood like a alligator.
Mr. Merlo was in the bathroom.
Tim, he said. Tim, that you?
I went straight to the basement and woke up the Frog and then I unplugged the PlayStation 3 and packed it in the box it came in and I unlocked her and took her upstairs and we left.
When we were outside she kept covering her eyes, even though it was night, cause the streetlights were bright and the carlights were bright and the muscles in her eyes were in a shock state.
When we crossed Piano Road she kept asking me what was wrong but I told her everything was okay.
Everything’s cool, I kept saying.
She said, where we goin, Toofairy?
To my place, I told her. It’ll be better there.
I’m sick, she said. I’m sick.
She looked really pale and I could see that she’d puked on her arm. She smelled sour like when milk gets a fungus. I picked her up with my other arm and carried her the rest of the way.
I was so tired I thought I might pass out. It felt like Piano Road was a hundred miles long. Every car that past us was like a monster. I kept looking for the Lexus and I had my knife in my pocket, just in case we had to battle.
Once we got to my building things were a little better, but getting up the stairs with the Frog was the hardest. My legs were cramping like crazy and I thought I was gonna start puking again but I was a man.
When we walked into my apartment Miggy was asleep on the couch.
I took the Frog to my room with the box and I made her sit on my bed and told her to be quiet and she nodded and just as I was about to lie down on the floor, I heard Miggy.
Wiggins, she said in a sleepy voice. That you, Wiggins?
The Frog looked sleepy and sick. Her space alien eyes were still huge, though. She was trying to keep them open but she was losing the battle.
I held my finger to my lips.
Don’t make me punish you, I whispered.
The Frog nodded and I shut the door and went out to the living room.
Miggy looked real confused. I could smell weed and Mexican fo
od but I couldn’t see the food. She was rubbing her face and trying to sit up.
I went, What are you doin here?
She said, Your moms left me a set of keys. I tolt her I would check on you.
I’m okay, I said.
She was like, Yeah?
Yeah, I said. I’m fine.
Miggy went, You eating good and stuff?
I’m eating, I said.
She said, You ain’t having no problems? Nobody been messin wit you or nothing like that?
No, I said.
She finally sat up.
She said, I’m so fucking thirsty. Damn.
So I went to the kitchen and got her a glass of water.
When I handed it to her she said, I spoke to you moms on the phone earlier. She doin real good.
I was like, Cool.
She drank some water and said, I think she and Cortina got married. In some little church near Viagra Falls. With a priest and shit. She sent me a cell phone picture. Wanna see?
When’s she coming back? I asked.
She went, She didn’t say. Prolly soon, though. Don’t you wanna see the picture? She look mad good, yo.
You don’t have to watch me, I said. I’m okay.
She smiled and said, You a little man, ain’t you?
I said, I’m a man.
A boy-man, she said.
I’m not a boy, I said.
She was like, You messin with girls yet?
I didn’t say nothing.
She was like, You prolly are, ain’t you. You got them pretty-ass eyes.
I said, It’s Niagara Falls. Niagara, not Viagra.
You prolly right, she said.
Then Miggy set the water down on the coffee table and said, I tolt your moms I would take you to the movies. You wanna go see a movie? There’s that one with Will Smith where he saves all these blue people. He saves them and they turn him blue too. It’s sposed to be mad emotional.
I said, Can we go tomorrow?
She was like, Oh, you got important stuff to do tonight?
I nodded.
Like what? she said. You got a date?
I was like, Maybe.
I can respect that, she said.
Then she drank some more water and said, You need me to stay here tonight?
I shook my head.
And she was like, Cool, cuz I got shit to do. What time tomorrow?
Whenever, I said.
She said, How bout I come by and pick you up at seven. We can go to Olive Garden first. Eat some salads. Get some nutriments in you.
Okay, I said.
Then she put her shoes on and grabbed her purse.
She said, By the way, what’s up with your fridge? I went to open it and it’s all taped up and shit.
I don’t trust it, I said.
She laughed and said, You don’t trust it?
I nodded.
She said, You don’t trust the fucking fridge?
I nodded again.
She said, You really off, ain’t you? I keep telling your moms that you all right but she says you off. I think she right.
I ain’t off, I said. I just know shit.
After she left I went to the back and got the Frog and I hooked up the PlayStation 3 to the back of the TV. I pulled the sofa closer so she could have a full visual experience.
When I turnt the game on the Frog held out the bike lock.
I ain’t locking you up no more, I said.
She nodded and started playing.
I took the bike lock to the kitchen and dropped it in the trash.
You hungry? I asked.
She shook her head.
I said, You look sick.
She nodded. I felt her forehead. It was warm and clammy.
I went, If you’re gonna be sick just let me know. You can puke in the toilet.
She nodded again.
In the game she and three other kids from the trees had surrounded the white shewolf. The Frog’s thumbs were moving so fast it was like they had their own brains.
From the kitchen I said, What happens when you get the shewolf?
But she didn’t answer cause she was about to win the game.
* * *
When I woke up, the Frog was pushing on my shoulder.
It was morning and the sun was blasting in the window.
Toofairy, she said. Toofairy.
What? I said. What’s wrong?
She said, There was a bump in the door.
When I opened the door, the screwdriver that I used to stab Orange’s leg was stuck below the peephole. Under it was a piece of the newspaper. Behind the newspaper was a long piece of straight red hair tied around the screwdriver. The hair looked fake, like it was from a clown’s wig. At the bottom of the hair was a gold tooth. The hair was knotted around it like bait on a fishing pole. I pulled the screwdriver out and grabbed the piece of newspaper and the piece of hair and the gold tooth and shut and locked the door.
On the piece of newspaper was a story about the woman we jumped. It said her name was Takada Flowers and that she got accosted by unknown assailants. It said that the cops believed it to be a gang initiation crime, most likely Vicelords. It said Takada Flowers was a advocate for the welfare systems of children and that she suffered multiple wounds to the skull and that she was currently in intensified care at Dumas General Hospital.
I turnt the article over and it said YOU MESSED UP, MONKEY!
I think it was wrote in blood cause it was red. I could tell it was Bounce’s writing cause she’s left-handed and her writing slants like it’s falling the wrong way.
I started getting real nervous. My hand was twitching and I couldn’t sit still.
I knew Bounce would come for me.
I can outrun most people, but Bounce has this thing where she keeps coming at you. She moves slow but she don’t never stop so it’s like battling a monster.
The Frog kept playing the video game.
Almost done, she said.
She had all the little kids surrounding the shewolf. They were poking at her with sticks and rocks. The shewolf was making crazy noises, like she was sick and going crazy at the same time. One of the little kids was bent down and he was biting the shewolf in the stomach. Another little kid was reaching into a hole in the shewolf’s side and pulling guts out and eating them. What was cool was the kids were turning into wolfs, too, like their ears was getting pointyish and they were starting to grow snouts and fangs. The more the shewolf got feasted, the more the kids looked like wolfs.
I went back into the kitchen and undid all the tape around the fridge and got the milk out. And then I poured some Count Chocula in a bowl and gave it to the Frog for breakfast. She paused the game to eat.
I don’t got no vitamins, I told her.
It’s okay, she said.
The Frog puked halfway through her bowl of cereal. Most of it went on the floor.
Sorry, she said.
After that I made the Frog save the game at the level she was on, just before she had solved the whole thing, and I undid it from the TV and put it back in the box. Then I made the Frog take a bath. I poured some bleach in the water.
It kills the fungus, I told her.
I helped her with the washcloth and the shampoo cause I wasn’t sure if she knew how.
You’re gonna be clean from now on, I told her.
She said, But I like being dirty, and put her hand on my head while I washed her.
After I got her dressed in one of my T-shirts and her same pair of pants, we left the apartment. My shirt was way too big but at least it was a shirt.
It took a while to get to Frontage Road. We had to walk past the 7-Eleven and through a dirt field. We walked under the water tower and under this bridge where these three girls were raped by a maniac last Christmas. The maniac’s name is Bo Chowder and they say he’s still on the loose.
We walked under these power lines that buzz with madness. The power lines are attached to these big-ass metal skeletons and you c
an see how some little kid got his kite stuck up in one of them.
I was relieved when we finally got to Frontage Road. It was dusty and the sun felt like it was dripping on you. Like it was oil in a pan. The Frog walked most of it. I only had to carry her a few times, but I couldn’t go far cause I had the PlayStation 3 box too. I put her down and made her hold onto the waistband of my shorts.
We were lucky that there wasn’t hardly no cars.
One slowed down and this lady looked at us with suspiciousness.
Wave, I told the Frog. Wave or I’ll punish you.
The Frog waved and the lady waved back.
I like outdoors, the Frog said after the car disappeared down the road. But I like how the outdoors looks on TV too.
There was corn on both sides of us and it seemed like it was growing taller while we were walking. Like it knew stuff about me and the Frog and it had to grow more to understand it.
Don’t puke again, I told the Frog.
She nodded and kept holding onto my shorts.
The PlayStation 3 box was getting really heavy and I thought I was gonna faint or maybe go into a coma cause I hadn’t had nothing to eat in so long.
I kept telling myself to be a man.
Be a man, Wiggins, I said with my brain voice. Be a fucking man.
After a while you could see the red barn.
I had to go down to a knee. My muscles were so tired and I was starting to feel stupid. I could feel the dirt and the rocks pushing into my weak knee.
