by Dyanne Davis
Hmm. If she was writing a story and placed herself in the role of the heroine would she be allowed to want another man? To dress according to his wishes. What if the true hero turned out to be Sam? What about the romance rules that everyone attempted to convince others didn’t really exist?
Taking a look around her bedroom at the white walls and white bedding that covered her dark and sturdy oak bed she decided to see the room through Sam’s eyes. Her walls were bare, not a single picture anywhere. Her apartment had not always been so colorless. She had dozens of framed pictures, just not out on display. She’d taken them down after Jamie died. The thought of looking at her brother’s smiling face, or the faces of her parents had racked her with grief. She’d been unable to embrace life until she’d put the pictures away and created a colorless existence for herself.
A few moments of musing and Rebe wondered if she were that heroine she was writing about would she appear as a sympathetic character or a complete nut job? Readers weren’t very forgiving of a heroine who behaved in a manner they deemed inappropriate. It was funny that in most if not all romance stories there was a kernel of truth, of real life, but those few kernels weren’t allowed to flit as freely as the writer might want across the pages. How could even a fictional hero or heroine ever measure up to the expected demands of romance readers? Heck, it was darn near impossible to do, more so if the writer had a rebellious streak.
With a smile Rebe’s thoughts returned to Sam. She wondered if he’d be sympathetic to her plight or find she was a bit nuts. Laughing at her reflection that stared back at her, she was aware she already knew what Sam would think. Would that count as one of the five things she had to find out about him? She doubted it.
Walking slowly through each room of her apartment she came to a decision. Sam was right. She needed color back in her life. She was going to take him up on his offer to repaint her apartment. And she was going to ask him to do a couple of paintings for her walls, something with lot of colors, flowers for sure, just no people. She still wasn’t ready to look at Sam’s painting of the people she loved. He was very good and his paintings looked too real. She wondered why he hadn’t become famous yet. He was that good. Shaking her head at having made a decision she walked to the kitchen to grab her mug of coffee to take with her.
Later at work Rebe knocked on the locked door of Sam's little sanctuary. “I wondered if you'd like to come for dinner tonight.” She'd expected an enthusiastic yes. What she got was…
“I'm sorry, Rebe. I have a date tonight, perhaps some other time.”
Before she could stop herself, Rebe was blinking rapidly, backing away from the door. A date. Did Sam have a girlfriend? If so, that would make him as bad as Chase for kissing her when he was involved with someone. She didn't believe in poaching other women's men. She'd have to find out. Hold it. Wait. Why would she have to find out? She wasn't interested in Sam.
Once outside the door Rebe turned to take another look at Sam's closed door, and when she turned back around she bumped into a hard male body, Chase. “Sorry,” she said as Chase’s arm slid around her to steady her. He grinned and she smiled in return.
“I was just looking for you. There's going to be a party at the Oakton Club tonight. Are you up for going?”
“I was looking to stay in.”
“I really wanted to go, but if you’re not up for it, we can stay in. You make dinner and I'll bring dessert.”
“Dessert you buy from the store, Chase. You will not be the dessert.”
Taking Rebe by the arm, Chase guided her toward the empty break room. “How much longer are we going to play the celibate couple?”
Rebe gave him a look but didn't answer.
With a sigh Chase stood looking at Rebe for a moment. “What would you like for dinner?”
“I don’t care.”
“Rebe?” Chase stared at her for a moment. “Okay, since you don’t care, how about, steak, baked potato, and salad?”
“You pick up the steak, and the potatoes and a salad from olive garden. My cupboards are bare”. Rebe waited for Chase to acquiesce. It took him a beat too long, but he finally did, tilting his head a bit.
“Rebe, is something wrong?”
“No, why?”
“It's just that. Well…you never ask me to go to the market.”
“Hmm. Perhaps that's the problem; you think a food fairy stocks my cupboard.”
“Rebe, I take you out to dinner at least two to three times a week. I always pay. I didn't know that you resented making us a meal on occasion.”
The thing of it was that she didn't mind, what she minded was that he expected it. And he never offered to bring anything but himself, or a bottle or wine which come to think of it, she wasn’t that keen about drinking wine either. It had just become something of a habit, her having a glass with him. An image of Sam ringing her bell and bringing food came to her. Rebe blinked trying to get rid of it, knowing what was happening. She was comparing the men, dangerous territory, very dangerous.
She shortened the distance between them and gave Chase a quick kiss. “I’m sorry. I’m in a bad mood and taking it out on you.”
“So you’ll cook?’
“As long as you bring the food.”
“And the celibacy?”
“It has been awhile hasn’t it? I’ll think about it. “
Sam stood for a long moment looking at the almost finished mural knowing he should have been done with it at least six weeks prior. He was deliberately taking his time in order to observe Rebe at work and around Chase. Taking in a deep breath the floral scent of her perfume filled him and had him wondering why he'd not accepted Rebe's invitation, wondering why he'd lied about having a date. He opened the door to call to her, not that he planned to tell her he'd cancel the date for her. That would never do. But he had thought to invite her out the next night.
When he spotted Rebe standing in the hall with Chase grinning down at her, and his arms around her waist, Sam fumed. That didn't take very long for her to find a replacement did it? He stared at the image of Chase he was working on. Reason dictated he wait until he wasn't in such a foul mood, but his hand picked up the brush and his fingers closed around it. Before he could stop himself he was adding to the mural, painting with abandon.
Yes, just what Chase’s image need. He'd have to buy a can of glitter to ensure the idea of the ornate glittered mirror stood out. He laughed because he was enjoying himself so much that he would have done Chase's portrait for fee. Well almost for free. His work was sought after and brought in big bucks and had for the past four years. Did Rebe know that? Of course she didn’t. Not even Kandi was aware of that part of his life, but the senior partners in the law firm were and had agreed in a private meeting he’d had with them to keep his identity a secret.
Something deep inside of him had wanted Rebe to know. Disappointment had swirled inside him that Rebe had never questioned his contract, or wondered why the partners didn't object to any of his outrageous demands. He shook his head. Because Rebe thought her friend Sam couldn’t possible fill the shoes of her fictional heroes. She didn’t think he’d be able to wine and dine her as Chase did.
Why in the world did he even give a woman so fickle a second thought? Rebe’s idea of a man she wanted was something much different from Sam. And he had no plans on ever telling her the truth until she wanted him for himself. With a laugh, he added a more ornate touch to the mirror. This was the man she thought she wanted, taller than her, handsome to a fault and wealthy. Just wait until she saw his image on canvas.
By the time Chase rang her bell Rebe was feeling more and more annoyed. She'd not been able to keep her thoughts from Sam, wondering about his date, if it were serious and wondering why he hadn't asked her to go out another night.
“I brought the steaks and fixing as ordered,” Chase said wrapping her in his arms and kissing her so passionately that he almost made her forget Sam, almost made her forget she was annoyed with him. Suddenly she found her
self wanting more from him, exactly what she wasn’t sure.
“Can you cook?”
“Why?” Chase asked with suspicion in his eyes.
“Because I thought it would be nice if you'd cook for me for a change.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Sam would.” Darn it. The words popped out before she'd had a chance to even think them.
“So, this is about Sam?” Chase released her and stormed away. “Rebe, we've been good together. Why are you letting that little pipsqueak bother us and the way we do things? Come on now, be sensible. Why are you worrying about what he thinks of you?”
“Well…because it's kind of true. You and I are a bit superficial. I don't want to be, not any more anyway.”
“And my making dinner for you will make me less superficial?”
“Yes.”
“What about me bringing dinner?”
“That you'd even expect points for this make you less…well…less heroic.” She couldn't help but notice the eye roll. He did it right there in front of her, for goodness sake.
“Okay, Rebe. Let's say I go along with this new project of yours. Are we going to go back to our regular relationship? I mean having sex. I'm too damn old and too used to your body to go celibate for long.”
“Not that you have anyway.” Chase was staring at her.
“Okay, let’s say for a moment that I'm going to agree with you, that perhaps I've been a bad boyfriend and you do deserve better. And I'm only being hypothetical, mind you. But let's say I agree. What if we make a pact to….”
“You can't even say it. What is it you're asking me? Are you suddenly wanting a committed relationship?”
“To be honest, I thought we were already committed to each other in our own way. But yes, I'm asking if you'd like to give a committed relationship a try.”
“You mean one on one? You and me? No more women for you?”
“And no men for you. That includes Sam.”
“Tell me something, Chase. Are you doing this because of Sam? Are you jealous of him?” Rebe laughed in disbelief.
“Are you serious? There is no way in hell I'd ever be jealous of that little pipsqueak. None.”
“Why do you keep calling Sam a pipsqueak? He's not that short, not really.”
“He's a lot shorter than I am.”
“That's true, but I'm still wondering if this is not about your wanting to best Sam. After all just a few months ago, you told me you didn't want, or that you couldn’t be in a totally committed relationship. Which by the way, I've always conducted myself as though that was what we were in. I’ve never once cheated on you. Now you want to do the same, play by the same rules that I've been playing by.”
“Do you want to be in a committed relationship with me, Rebe?”
Chase was looking a bit irritated and that alone irritated her. She'd wanted what he was asking for over a year now. “How about giving me a few days to think it over?”
“A few days?” He walked back toward her. “I don't believe this. We’re working on being together for almost three years, and you want to blow what we have for what? Sam, an unkempt artist. I know the other women in the office are acting foolish over him, but you. You’re a lawyer, respected. Sam obviously isn’t making any money. Look at him. He can’t afford to date you, Rebe.”
“Do you know how you sound?”
“Unfortunately I do. But right now I don't care. Like I said, I think we're actually good together. I thought we always were. We definitely have fun together and we’re good in bed, we match. We both love sex and that’s a big plus. But if you're wanting more I'm going to do my best to give it to you. Perhaps I should be thanking Sam for opening my eyes.”
“Perhaps you should,” Rebe whispered. But that was all she was able to say because Chase was kissing her and wiping away all of her objections and good intentions about not having sex. It had been a long time and he did know how to make love to her body.
Rebe sighed when Chase lifted her in his arms and allowed her head to drift to his shoulder ignoring the voice that said it was a big mistake. Even if Sam wasn't on her mind, Chase was stepping up for the wrong reason.
Why was it that women didn't listen to the things that were going on outside of the bedroom? Sure Chase made her knees weak but then again so did Sam. Rebe screamed silently inside the safety of her head. Sam, go away from my head, please. He wouldn’t because he'd niggled his way under her skin. And now she wanted to know exactly who he was with and what he was doing at the moment.
“Rebe, are you with me? I’m kissing you and you’re not here with me. Come on babe, what are you thinking about? I hope it’s me.”
“It's us. Chase, I'm hoping you're meaning what you're saying and not just doing it for now.”
“Hush, Rebe,” Chase said and kissed her, lying her on the bed and undressing her before she had time to have another thought.
Hours later and well sated Rebe stretched beside Chase and watched the self-satisfied grin appear on his face. “Don’t say anything cocky,” she warned. “Or we're back to square one.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything…well anything other than you make me feel like I'm in heaven when I'm inside of you. I enjoy making love to you, Rebe.”
Sweet words, perhaps sincere. She wanted to believe them. She had to believe them, she was just about to commit to a happy, committed relationship that included sex. She would not be inviting Sam over to make dinner for him. She would not be accepting dates with him, or asking him out on dates. She groaned. And then wondered why you were given the things you'd prayed for long after you'd stopped praying and wasn't even sure you wanted them anymore.
“Sam, would you please stop pacing? It's not my fault that you didn't accept Rebe's invitation.” Kandi complained.
“I know that. But did she really have to walk away with that Ken doll less than a few seconds after asking me?”
“You said no.”
Sam tilted his head. “Kandi, are you not listening to me?”
“Apparently not, it seems you got what you wanted, for Rebe to take an interest in you as a friend, and then you turned it down. You can keep telling me all you want that you're not into Rebe, that it’s all about protecting her, being a friend to her, honoring Jamie. Sam, my friend, I know you're not being completely honest.”
“You don't expect me to tell Rebe that I have feelings for her above and beyond friendship do you? She already thinks all she has to do is crook her little finger at me, and I'll come running. I refuse to be at her beck and call.”
“I don't blame you. But Rebe is not going to make the first move, we both know that. Besides, the relationship she has with Chase seems to be really strong in an odd sort of way”
“I don’t get it. How can she keep taking him back after he cheats on her over and over again? I mean seriously, does either of us think he’s changed? Does she?”
“I doubt it. But you know how her relationship with Chase is. They're volatile together. They fight, he cheats, and they break up then get back together.”
Sam turned toward Kandi and glared, but his thoughts were on Chase. Blowing out several hard breaths he closed his eyes. Calming down was what was needed. “Does she love him?”
“I have no idea. But she is… well…she does like certain things about him. She’s pretty happy in that department.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She doesn’t have to fake it with Chase, not even a little bit.”
“That's disgusting.”
Laughing Kandi covered her face with her hand. “It is not. Why do you men want to have sex with us, but want us to pretend we don't enjoy it? Believe me a lot of the time women have to fake it.”
“Why?”
“Think about it. If a woman is with a man who’s not getting the job done but is determined to keep on until he does, I mean heck you have to fake it out of self-preservation or you’re going to
have a very bad burn in an area you don’t want. It’s harder than you might think for a woman to find a man who can give her the big ‘O’ and one who can do it over and over again is a real treasure. Sometimes I can see Rebe’s point in sticking with Chase. I like sex. She loves sex and so does Chase.”
“But you should have sex with a person you have an emotional connection with. Do you have any idea how long it's been for me?”
“I'd say going on five years. I have never seen you with a woman. Rebe was actually beginning to think you were gay. She thought that was why you'd turned all bitchy toward her and why you were hating on Chase.”
Sam was stunned to the point of disbelief. He’d never known, never suspected that Rebe had had thoughts that he was gay. For several seconds he simply stared at Kandi before he could ask her the question that was uppermost in his mind.
“Did she think because I didn't touch her when she spent all those nights in my bed I was gay?”
“No, at least I don’t think so. To be honest she got tears in her eyes when I asked about it. All she would say was, you were much too good for her, and for me not to ask her anything else about what the two of you had, or had not done. She was serious, so I didn't ask, though now I wish I had pressed her. What happened between the two of you, Sam?”
“Do you think you can get me to tell you something you’ve already said Rebe didn’t want you to know?”
“It was worth a try.”
For a long moment Sam allowed himself to think about the time he’d spent with Rebe. He sighed wondering as he always did, what the hell had happened to change their friendship. Kandi was giving him one of her patented puppy dog looks. The last thing in the word he wanted was for her to start feeling sorry for him. It was time to take the conversation from Chase and talk about anything else.
“Kandi, I talked to Rebe, and she told me she hasn’t been home since Jamie’s funeral. What are your thought on her not having seen her parent face to face in the last two years?”
