“Shit,” she whispered.
“Fuck,” I said. “Bree…”
“It’s fine,” she said.
I stepped back. I ran a hand through my hair.
We slowly looked at each other.
I blinked fast to keep myself from getting emotional again.
She wiped under her eyes.
“Well, say something,” she said.
I slowly grinned. “You have wicked morning breath, babe.”
“I can’t believe the old man still has this place open,” I said.
“His nephew took it over a few years ago,” Bree said.
“Is the old man alive?”
“Mike? Yeah. He comes around still. But Brian does everything now.”
I reached into my pocket and took out cash. “Here you go.”
“I have to go in?” Bree asked.
“I can’t go in there,” I said.
“Why?”
“Do I have to say it?”
Bree smiled at me. “Yeah. You do. I want to hear you sound like a cocky asshole. Sab.”
I curled my lip. “I can’t go in there because I’m fucking famous. That’s why. So can you just go get us something to eat?”
Bree grabbed the cash and shook her head. “You’re such a loser, Sebastian.”
When she got out of the car, I caught myself staring at her ass.
Watching her slip the cash into her back pocket.
Then I lowered my head and felt my brain scrambling.
I hid my face the best I could and sent a text to Nash.
Still in the old town. Not sure when I’m coming back. Let me know what’s going on with the show for Mitchy.
I didn’t expect Nash to respond.
More details are coming soon. Don’t worry. We’re surviving fine without you.
“Asshole,” I whispered.
I looked out the window and saw Bree carrying a bag of food and a carrier with coffees.
I hated having to hide.
But with who I was… and in this town… if one person saw me, I’d get mobbed for sure.
When it came to Bree’s mother’s services, as least there it would have to be a quiet thing.
Bree’s mother’s services…
That was the next thing lingering around us.
Bree got into the car.
“I’m keeping the change,” she said. “I just got harassed by Paul Delong.”
“He works there?” I asked.
“He’s the manager,” Bree said with one handed air quotes. “He’s best friends with Brian.”
“What did he say?” I asked.
“He wanted to know why I got so much food. In other words… implying I was fucking some guy and getting food.”
“He doesn’t know about…”
Bree frowned. “I guess not.”
“Shit,” I whispered. “I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “Sometimes it slips my mind and I feel okay. Then it hits me again.”
“Yeah, that’s what it does,” I said.
I drove back to her apartment in silence.
I didn’t feel settled until I got inside.
We sat at the dining room table together and ate breakfast.
Old man Mike always had the best breakfast sandwiches in town.
“Still good?” Bree asked.
“Amazing,” I said as I jammed the last two bites into my mouth and chomped on them.
“I can do that too,” she said.
She stuffed her mouth and widened her eyes at me.
We laughed, almost choked on our food, and washed it all down with coffee.
Then Bree went to take a shower.
As she showered, I called Toby just to check in. I let him know I had no clue what my next step was. He told me the show for Mitchy was happening in four days. I made sure he knew I would be there for it. No matter what. Even if I had to fly back to LA for the show and then fly back to be with Bree again.
I would make it all work.
I got off the phone with Toby and caught Bree walking toward me.
Her sort of short dark hair damp.
She had brushed her hair.
Her skin clean, natural… pretty.
I took a breath.
“Hey,” I said. “About before…”
“Forget about it,” she said. “Things just got the best of us.”
“Yeah,” I said.
“I’m really sorry about your friend,” she said. “I know a lot of people probably figure he was just some drugged out rock star, but he meant something to you.”
I nodded. “Yeah, he did. Mitchy had a lot of problems, but he was a good friend. I never liked the way things turned out with him and the band. And now he’s gone.”
“Sebastian,” Bree said. She sighed. “I just talked to Mia. She’s going to swing by and pick me up. I have to…” She cleared her throat. “I have to make the arrangements. I know what I’m going to do. What she would want to do. You don’t have to be here anymore. You can go back to Los Angeles. That’s where you belong. I heard you talking to someone. There’s a show coming up?”
I nodded. “Yeah. We’re doing a show for Mitchy. That’s not for a few days though.”
“Sebastian.”
“Bree.”
“Please…”
I moved closer to her.
I touched her arm. “I’m not going anywhere. Even if I did, I would come right back for the service for her. So I might as well just stay. If you want to go with Mia alone today, that’s fine. I can hang around here if you don’t mind. I can write some music, make some calls… whatever.”
“I won’t be long,” she said. “I mean, I don’t want to be out long at all. I just want it over with. It’s weird, Sebastian, but just a few months ago, Mom told me what she wanted to have happen when she died. Mia already talked to the newspaper. I just called the lawyer. We’re going to stop over at the funeral home. That’s… that’s it…”
Her chin quivered.
I touched her chin. “And you’re fucking strong for standing right now. And you’ll get through this. I’ll be right here waiting. Unless you want me to come for the ride.”
“You don’t have to do this…”
“I know I don’t,” I said. “But I am. And it’s why I don’t want anyone to know that I’m here. I don’t need people bothering me. Or you. That night I left, I told you I would always come back for you. If you needed anything. I meant it.”
Bree jumped at me and hugged me.
“I’ve missed you,” she whispered.
I hugged her back. “I’ve missed you too, babe.”
We stood there in silence.
I couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss.
Mistake or not… it had been one hell of a kiss.
6
BREE
“I want this over with as fast as possible,” I said as I stood up.
I blinked fast, out of tears once again.
Mia sat on the way too comfortable couch with a balled-up tissue in her hand.
Jerry wore a nice suit and had a bunch of paperwork in front of him. It seemed my mother was on the up and up when it came to her life - and death - and her lawyer was just the same as her. The lawyer - Barry - told me he wanted to look into everything possible with the car and my mother. In other words, he wanted to know if there was a chance we could sue for damages. The accident scene painted a picture of its own. The result… my mother was probably going a little bit too fast and was either distracted or just not paying attention as she came around the bend. She swerved to miss an object in the road and sadly…
My heart hit hard inside my chest.
“I know what she wanted and I’m assuming it’s all right in front of you,” I said to Jerry.
“It is,” he said in a soft voice. “We also like to suggest to take a little bit of time to think. Once this is done, it cannot be undone.”
“Like death?” I asked.
“Bree,” Mia said.
“Sorry,” I said. “This is what she wants. I’m not going to be dragged around for months over this. I’m not going to try and sue people or get sued or whatever. This was…” I swallowed hard. “This was a tragic accident. She’s gone. I have to face that reality now. But this… this is what she wanted.”
“Right,” Jerry said. “If that’s the plan, we can discuss when and what kind of-”
“No services,” I said.
“Bree,” Mia said again.
“Stop it,” I snapped. “She told me she didn’t want anything big. She wanted to be cremated. I know everyone in town is going to ask questions. That’s fine. I do not want this to become some kind of… I don’t know. A parade. Okay? She wrote it down. She has it in her will. I’m doing what she wanted me to do. I can’t believe I’m standing here right now. Can you both understand that?”
“We do,” Jerry said. “Forgive me for hesitating. I just know how fresh the pain can feel. And how one moment we can feel sadness, then anger, then sadness again.”
“How would you know?” I asked.
“Bree, you’re acting out of line,” Mia said.
“It’s fine,” Jerry said. He slowly stood up. “I’ve been in this business for a long time. I’m sure you know that. I knew your mother. I’m terribly sorry for what happened to her. On a personal note, you probably remember my son Jeremy. He was your age. He passed when he was eighteen.”
“Jeremy,” I said. “I remember that.”
Jerry nodded. “He made a bad decision to drive while intoxicated and it cost him his life. I went through a lot of emotions during that time. So I again apologize for hesitating. Everything your mother wanted has been written down. You’re right. I will even push things forward for you, Bree. If this is the final decision, I’ll have everything in order for tomorrow.”
I nodded. “It’s the decision.”
“Okay,” Jerry said. “Let’s sit back down and finalize a few details.”
I slowly sat down and Mia grabbed my hand. She leaned toward me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t project at you.”
“I’m sorry too,” I whispered. “I know she meant a lot to a lot of people. But this is what she wanted. This is the last good thing I can do for her.”
“What we can do is set up a memorial for her,” Jerry said. “Something to think about. We can set up flowers, some pictures, let people come pay their respects in a little bit of a more informal kind of service. Perhaps in lieu of flowers, you can choose a charity and make a donation in her honor.”
“Yes,” I said. “I like that idea. I just want to move forward. I just need to…”
Mia squeezed my hand.
I lowered my head.
The pain rippled through me.
I wasn’t even sure what I wanted.
It wasn’t to forget. It wasn’t to move on.
It was just that life could change in the blink of an eye… without any warning at all…
“Wait, you kissed him?”
Mia announced that in line while we were getting coffee.
A handful of people looked at me and I felt heat rush to my cheeks.
We were on the other side of town, where it wasn’t so close knit.
That meant everyone looking at me didn’t know about my mother.
I knew the second I went back home, it was going to be a barrage of I’m sorrys waiting for me. My phone had been going off all morning and into the afternoon. Text messages and phone calls.
I responded to every text.
I listened to the voicemails.
I thought about my mother as I did so.
The hardest part was that as I stood in line to get coffee, I felt my mind calculating how many hours it had been since she was gone. Meaning just… x amount of hours ago she could have been standing with me in line to get coffee…
“Are you going to answer me?” Mia asked.
“Yeah. That’s your answer. Yeah.”
“So what does that mean?”
“It means we were both caught up in a moment and something happened.”
“Oh, come on, Bree…”
“See, I shouldn’t have told you.”
“Why did you tell me?”
I stared at Mia. “I don’t know.”
“Exactly. You told me because you knew I’d have this reaction. You want to know my thoughts on it. Because you live here. He lives in LA. You run a small business. He’s a goddamn rock star.”
People looked at us again.
I cringed.
“We both kind of regretted it,” I said. “Sebastian and I have always been friends.”
“And there was never tension between you two?” Mia asked as she rolled her eyes.
We were next and she ordered coffee for us.
I looked at my phone and thought about texting Sebastian. Just to see how he was doing.
As I stared at the phone, he texted me.
I gasped.
Hey, babe. Just seeing how it’s going. Thinking of you.
I smiled.
This sucks. Are you still at my apartment?
“Hello?” Mia’s voice asked.
I looked at her. “What?”
“Oh, wow. Look at that grin on your face. I take it Sab is texting you?”
“Shut up,” I said. “I’ll grab a table.”
I walked across the cafe to a corner table near the front window.
Sebastian texted me back.
Your doorbell rang a few times. I didn’t answer until they left. You have some flowers and fruit baskets here.
I tried to picture it.
The drummer for Filthy Line in my apartment, hearing the doorbell ring, waiting for the person to leave, then retrieving flowers and fruit from the hallway…
“That smile is something else,” Mia said as she put a coffee in front of me.
“Don’t say that.”
“I’m serious. You haven’t smiled that big in a long time.”
“I’m going through a lot right now,” I said.
“I know. I’m just trying to lighten the mood.”
I took a deep breath. “When we’re done here, I have to stop at the lawyer’s office. He has something for me. My mother was so organized. She had every little detail planned out and written down. And apparently a letter for me. I guess it has stuff about her she wants me to know. Life insurance or banking, maybe?”
“I guess you’ll find out,” Mia said. “Your mother was always that way. Remember when she organized her bookshelf by book spine color?”
I laughed. “Oh, yeah. All the time. I think that’s maybe why I’m a little messy. It’s me being rebellious to the way I grew up.”
“You badass,” Mia said.
I felt the smile fade. And the sadness started to swallow me up.
Mia reached for my hand. “Hey. I’m always here.”
“I know. I just don’t think I want to deal with it.”
“With what?”
“Sebastian said flowers and fruit were delivered,” I said. “I don’t know if I want to deal with seeing everyone…”
“You heard Jerry,” Mia said.
“I know. That’s a great idea about the memorial. But for me… how can someone see me and not say something, right?”
“True.”
“Same with the shop. It’s going to be…”
“Take some time off.”
“To do what?” I asked. “Sit around?”
“Bree…”
“What?”
“I don’t know. Take a road trip.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere you want.”
I sucked in a breath.
I looked out the window.
Anywhere I wanted…
How about Los Angeles?
When I opened the apartment door, my eyes didn’t know what to look at first.
My bag slid off my arm to the floor as I scanned the apartment.
The dining room table was
covered in flowers.
I had never seen so many bouquets at once.
It was like Sebastian secretly started his own florist shop while I was gone.
And then there was Sebastian himself.
Standing near the kitchen in ripped jeans and a t-shirt that looked stretched and worn but was done on purpose. Leaving my eyes to see muscle, skin, not to mention his necklaces. That chiseled jaw and his bold eyes and his messy hair. Oh, and the fact that he was barefoot.
A glass in each hand.
“Good stuff?” I asked.
“Good stuff,” he said. “Figured you’d need a drink. Dinner is in the oven.”
My jaw dropped. “You… cooked…?”
“Fuck no, babe,” Sebastian said. “I ordered out. Had it delivered. Got Rosie’s.”
I laughed. “I haven’t had that food in a long time.”
“Well, then I’m making my mark while I’m here,” he said. He walked to me and handed me one of the glasses of whiskey. Then he nodded to the table. “That’s a lot of flowers.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I have a lot of people to thank. And I really don’t want to. I don’t want to do any of this.”
“Right now you don’t have to,” he said in a soft voice.
His right hand touched my hip and he motioned for the couch.
Chills moved through my body for a few seconds.
We sat next to each other.
“Let’s hear about the day,” he said. “If you want to talk about it.”
I looked at him.
I had zero desire to talk about my day.
But two seconds of looking into Sebastian’s eyes, I told him everything. From beginning to end. Almost every minute that passed from the time I left the apartment until I showed back up.
When I finished, I took a deep breath.
Sebastian put his fingers under my glass and lifted it.
He smiled.
“You just want me to get drunk,” I said. “Why? So you could kiss me again?”
“Oh, that’s a low blow, babe,” he said. “Not cool at all.”
“What? We can’t joke about it?”
He leaned toward me. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it.”
“Eh, it was okay,” I said. “I mean, you’re a rock star. So I kind of was hoping for a little more.”
“Damn,” Sebastian said. “That’s evil stuff, Bree.”
A FILTHY Friend (Filthy Line Book 5) Page 5
