“I was a kid with a dream, babe.”
“You were a teenager, waiting to become a man, with a plan,” she said.
“If you say so,” I said. “I got lucky. I met the right guys at the right time. And we were relentless. We wrote, played, partied…”
“And it all worked out,” Bree said with half a smile.
The smell of her soap crept toward me.
My nose tingled.
My mind was desperate to picture her naked.
I’d never seen Bree naked before. Not even close. So I had nothing to go on other than the shape that showed from her clothes.
It was dumb and torturous.
“Are you proud of yourself?” she asked.
“I don’t think that matters,” I said.
“Of course it does.”
“Why are you saying all this?” I asked.
“Honestly? I’m just looking for something good right now. I… I cried in your shower…”
I put my beer bottle down and touched her arms. “What? Why?”
“Just being here. And I feel like I should be somewhere else. And it still hits me hard that she’s gone…”
“Ah, fuck, babe,” I said. I pulled her in for a hug. “I’m sorry. Just know anytime you need to cry, you should. If you need me, I’m here. If you need to be alone, I’ll leave you alone.”
I felt Bree nod.
There were a few seconds of silence and she backed away.
She smiled again. “I bet I wasn’t the first woman to cry in that shower.”
“Of course not,” I said. “Have you ever come so hard you burst into tears?”
Her cheeks blushed one more time. “Can’t say that I have.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing,” I said.
I grabbed my beer and put a little space between us.
“So what’s the plan again?” she asked.
“I’ve got to practice with the guys,” I said. “You can crash here. Enjoy the pool. The house. Whatever. If you stay, I’ll give you a list of names of people who come around.”
“People?”
“To take care of the house, Bree.”
“You mean…”
“There’s a lot to do around here,” I said.
“Do you pay someone to cook for you?”
I didn’t answer.
Bree laughed. “You rich asshole.”
“Yeah, maybe this was a mistake.”
She kept laughing. “I can’t believe it. I should believe it though. Nothing should surprise me now. But… if it’s okay, I’d like to go with you.”
“Yeah, that’s fine too,” I said.
“When is the first show?”
“Couple days,” I said. “It’s an acoustic show. For Mitchy.”
“Are you okay, Sab? With all of that?”
“I’m fine,” I said. “His memorial is tomorrow. We’re going to swing through that. Take a few pictures. And then the show will happen the day after that. Then it’s done. He’s gone. Can’t change it. You know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Bree said.
One second we were laughing. The next we were flirting. The next we were sad.
But out of everyone in the world, I trusted her with that part of me.
“Come here,” I said. “Look at the view of the city.”
We stood at the biggest kitchen window and I pointed out every building I knew. I described the places the band used to play. And sleep. And party.
I told her stories.
She laughed.
Sometimes she shook her head.
A few times she told me I was gross.
We finished the bottles of beer and I really wanted nothing more than to just stand there with her all night, drinking and talking.
“I’d offer you another beer, but we have to go,” I said. “Our ride is waiting outside.”
“Do you ever drive anywhere?” Bree asked.
“Sometimes,” I said. “But when you’re famous, it’s so much cooler to be driven around.”
Bree shook her head again. “What a dick.”
I put my arm around her. “And you’re my sidekick. Just wait until the paparazzi take your picture and write stories about us.”
“What?” she asked. “Is that true?”
I laughed. “Sort of. Just as long as we aren’t caught hugging, holding hands, kissing, or fucking.”
Bree stepped away and put her hand out. “Keep that far back. I do not want to have my pictures posted online. Got it?”
“But we’re in my house,” I said. “We’re safe. We’re alone.”
I moved her hand out of the way and got close to her again.
Our eyes met and my mind gave me three seconds to pick one of three choices.
Get another beer.
Leave.
Or kiss Bree.
I turned and knew we had to leave… right now.
12
BREE
When I considered who I was and where I was going, it was very intense.
I was being given an all access pass to the band.
I was going to get to see Filthy Line in a way that not many did.
There was a fleeting moment when I realized there were people that would pay a lot of money to be in my shoes, or to hear about anything I would see or hear.
Not that I would ever do that to Sab or the band.
It made me feel as though he trusted me.
That was a good feeling.
“So what’s the dating world like back in that shitty, small town?” Sab asked with a smile.
He broke up my thoughts.
And his smile threatened to break my heart.
Which - for the record - was a big reason why we were always better off as friends. Us together as anything but that would end up with both of us hurt.
“I’m sure your dating life here is much better than mine,” I said.
“I’m just running through some names in my head… trying to picture you with them…”
“You’re picturing me with other guys?” I asked. “Weird.”
“Not like that. You know, like I used to do. To protect you.”
I laughed. “You didn’t protect me. You got jealous and wanted to beat people up.”
“No,” I said. “I just knew who the douchebags were.”
“You think that.”
“I know it, babe.”
“How?” I asked.
“Because I’m a douchebag,” he said. “Or I was.”
“Now you’re not a douchebag?”
“Well, with money, fame and power… it’s considered having an attitude.”
I shook my head. “I’m just going to say it. You cock-blocked me a lot.”
“I kept you from getting hurt,” he said. “There were a couple nights…”
“Like I didn’t know what I was doing?” I asked.
Sab touched his jaw.
I had him.
I pushed at his shoulder. “You realize that was like three hundred years ago, right?”
He looked at me. “Yeah. I know. I’m just chipping away at the ice here.”
“Ice? Between us? Never.”
“Look, Bree, we stayed in touch, but did we?”
“I did with you,” I said. “I followed your entire career. You might laugh at me…” I groaned. “Never mind.”
“What?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
“Bree.”
“Sab.”
“Come on, babe. Tell me.”
“Maybe after a few more drinks, I will,” I said.
Sab reached under the seat and produced a bottle of whiskey.
“What the hell?” I asked with a laugh.
“Cars need gasoline for fuel,” he said. “Rock stars need whiskey.”
“I’m not getting hammered in the back of an SUV with you,” I said.
“Why not?” Sab asked.
“I have to meet the band.”
“And they’re going to be sob
er?” he asked.
“You’re a bad influence already,” I said.
“I’m just living my life,” he said. “And I want you to tell me whatever you were going to say.”
“Give me that whiskey… and maybe I’ll talk.”
The practice area for the band was secluded.
We were in some parking lot that had zero frills or thrills.
It almost felt industrial where we were.
Which made sense.
It wasn’t like they were going to have flashing neon signs announcing where they were writing music.
It was a far cry from the busy city and the expensive houses up in the hills.
I wasn’t drunk. But I wasn’t sober either.
I was comfortably in between and that was fine by me.
The SUV stopped and when I reached to open the door, Sab leaned across me.
His face was close to mine.
His lips were a few inches from mine.
His eyes were…
“You’re not going to kiss me again, are you?” I whispered.
“No. That didn’t work out so well, did it?”
“Not really.”
“Tell me what you were going to say before.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“This isn’t a good look on you.”
“I don’t care.”
“You already know what it is,” I said. “You just want me to say it.”
“Maybe.”
“Fine. You said we kept in touch but didn’t. That’s half true. I kept in touch with you. I kind of have a little bit of everything from your career.”
“You bought albums?”
“Albums. Shirts. I have a few pictures and magazine articles. Everything is online now. I didn’t print any of that. I’m not wasting good ink on you, Sab.”
“Fuck, babe,” he said. “I love you. I hope you know that. That means a lot to me that you did that. I’m sorry I never kept up with you. I should’ve asked more questions. I just…” He shook his head. He kissed my forehead and opened the door for me. “Ready for this?”
“I’m a little tipsy, so I’m ready for anything,” I said.
Sab smiled.
I swallowed hard.
I really needed to be careful with my words.
I had to remind myself this guy was no longer Sebastian.
He was Sab.
Sebastian was my friend.
But I wasn’t sure who Sab was yet.
The inside of the place was absolutely amazing.
There were instruments everywhere.
The walls were painted a comfortable dark color with pictures, posters and what looked like blankets, hung up everywhere.
It partially looked like a rock star dump. But… it was organized chaos for the band.
Complete with tables, couches, a couple TVs…
“What do you think?” Sab whispered to me.
“I don’t know what I think,” I said.
“You write the fucking lyrics, not me,” a voice said.
Sab stuck his hand out. “Jay. Nash. Come here.”
I knew who the band was.
They didn’t know who I was.
“Is this her?” Jay asked.
Or maybe they do know me?
“This is the girl that’s had our drummer’s head twisted in a knot?” Nash asked.
“Fuck off,” Sab growled.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Sab said.
“Oh, come on,” Jay said. He lifted his hands and wiggled his thumbs. “Texting you all the time. I swear, he could have the hottest stripper in the city on her knees, showing off a magic trick that involves her mouth and his dick, and he would be texting you instead of enjoying it.”
I looked at Sab. “Wow. Is that true?”
“No, no, no,” Sab said. “I’m going to fucking kill you, Jay.”
“Everyone relax,” Nash said. He offered his hand to me. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Even though I never got your name.”
“Bree,” I said.
“Bree,” Jay said. He had an evil grin and a wink to match. “Bree, Bree, Bree…”
“I’ll get him out of the way,” Nash said as he grabbed Jay’s shirt. “Liv is over there if you want to introduce Bree to her. We need to get writing.”
Nash dragged Jay away and he kept staring at me.
“Don’t pay attention to him,” Sab said to me.
“No, I have a question,” I said. I put my hand to Sab’s chest. “Have you ever texted me while someone was… you know?”
Sab curled his lip. “No.”
“And I’m supposed to believe you?”
“Yes,” he said.
Sab grabbed my hand.
He was pissed.
I laughed.
I met the rest of the band, along with Liv and Abby.
They were at a table.
Liv was drinking coffee.
Abby had whiskey.
I sat down and Sab walked toward the small stage with the rest of the band.
“Don’t mind me,” Liv said. “I told the band I would write about their practices and all the stuff leading up to the show for Mitchy.”
“She’s also a famous author,” Abby said. “And you’re the one who got away, right? I think Sab has been talking about you since day one.”
“You’ve been around that long?” I asked.
“Kind of,” Abby said. “In the beginning, yeah. The middle, not so much. But now I’m back. Long story. I should have Liv write a book about it.”
“I am not writing about you and Reed,” Liv said.
“Why not?” Abby asked. “Too afraid of the sex scenes?”
I smiled. “I hate to sound like a tourist, but I can’t believe I’m here.”
“Star struck?” Liv asked.
“No,” I said. “It’s just nice to hang out with Sab again. Although… I always knew him as Sebastian.”
They both laughed.
“You probably have some good stories,” Liv said.
“Tons,” I said.
Abby slid her whiskey glass toward me. “Drink and spill. You’re my new best friend.”
I grabbed the glass and drank from it. “Cheers to that.”
I sat in awe and watched Sab play.
I had never seen Filthy Line live in concert before. I also had never seen Sab play drums before. Which seemed kind of crazy. But when we were younger, he didn’t have a drum set at his disposal all the time.
Then came the song for Mitchy.
The five guys lined up on stage with acoustic guitars then started to play and sing.
Their voices all together felt like the rumble of a plane landing in my chest.
In a good way.
It was perfect.
I caught myself standing up.
I looked at Liv and Abby.
They looked at me.
My brain told me I had three seconds until I was going to burst into tears.
I turned and moved toward the door to get outside.
Once there, I took a deep breath and felt the emotion crush me.
I bent my knees and crouched down, burying my face into my hands.
It was a good thing I wasn’t a makeup kind of woman because I would have been a bigger mess.
Guilt hit me hard as a stark reminder that I was in Los Angeles with a bunch of rock stars, while back home everything my mother possessed was just sitting there. Her entire house had to be cleaned out. I had to deal with the lawyers still. Oh, and let’s not forget the bombshell that I was adopted…
I didn’t anticipate crying as long as I did.
And it only hit me that I had been crying that long when the door opened and Sab came hurrying out.
Liv and Abby were right behind him.
I stood up and looked at Sab.
He threw his arms around me and hugged me without saying a word.
I clutched at the back of his sh
irt.
“I’m right here, babe,” he whispered.
“I know,” I said.
I took a deep breath and stepped back.
I wiped the corners of my eyes.
I looked at Liv and Abby.
“How the fuck aren’t you two not crying?” I asked. “What a song, right?”
“The whiskey helps,” Abby said.
“I should have had more,” I said. I smiled. “Uh… this is going to sound weird. Since we just met…”
The door opened again and the rest of the band came outside too.
“What’s going on?” Reed asked.
“Is she okay?” Dex asked Sab about me.
“Yeah,” Sab said.
“I’m Bree, by the way,” I said. “Sorry about crashing your place here.”
“It’s cool,” Jay said. “Are you crying because you realized how ugly Sab is?”
“I’m actually crying because my mother died just a couple of days ago,” I said.
“Oh, fuck,” Jay said.
“That’s why you took off to be with her?” Nash asked.
“Yeah,” Sab said. “I didn’t want to say anything.”
“We thought it was because of Mitchy,” Dex said.
“Bree, I’m so sorry,” Liv said.
She came to my other side and grabbed my hand.
Then Abby got close to me.
Next thing I knew, the entire band was against me.
It was a weird group hug… rock stars… their girlfriends… Sab and me…
“I was just fucking around,” Jay whispered. “I had no idea…”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Sorry for ruining the mood.”
“No,” Dex said. “We’re all feeling like hell right now.”
“We’re in this with you,” Nash said.
I felt ready to cry again.
It was one of the wildest moments of my life.
“You know what we need?” Reed asked.
“To get naked and be wild?” Jay asked.
“I’d like to see you say that with Wren here,” Nash said.
“We need a drink,” Reed said.
“Fuck, yes,” I said.
They all laughed.
I looked at Sab and he winked at me.
If I was going to be around rock stars, I needed to learn how to party like one.
My head swayed like I was missing a few bones in my neck.
Ut-oh.
Sab was next to me in the backseat.
A FILTHY Friend (Filthy Line Book 5) Page 10
