“Why didn’t you want to talk to me? You’ve spent two months avoiding me.”
“As you can see, we have a lot of work—more than we can handle. We respect our clients too much to take on jobs that we can’t perform professionally and give the necessary time to.”
“And what is your selection process? From what I’ve heard you have a fair number of Labour and Conservative clients who are campaigning to become mayors. In fact, it was our mayor who first mentioned your agency to me. He’s Labour, and the man has decided to retire. He’s over seventy and wants to relax.”
“So you’re Labour, then.”
“No, I’m nothing. I’m fed up with both Labour and the Conservatives. I am, and so are a lot of others. I live in a region where we only see the big politicians on the television. We don’t matter to anybody and nobody matters to us. We’ve gotten a group together and we’re going to run in the elections.”
“Okay, and who has formed this group?”
“Men like me from other small towns like mine. We’re independents. We want to run our towns in accordance with the needs of the people. We don’t promise anything we can’t achieve and nobody is going to demand more of us than they know we can deliver. Our voters are our neighbors.”
Listening to Parker I imagined remote towns where everyone knows one another and their only aspirations are for the local streets to be resurfaced or a new shelter to be built. I had to tell him that we weren’t going to run a campaign for a group of rural peasants.
“Your goal seems laudable, but I’m afraid the services we offer are not ones that would be of interest to you.”
“But yes, they do interest us. Those dandies in the mainstream parties think they know everything. They may not be as rural as us, but being members of the big parties has taught them a few things.”
“I don’t think it’s likely that you’ll be taking part in any televised debates.”
“Of course we will. If they go on television, so will we. We’ll do what has to be done. We just need you to teach us how to defend ourselves against them.”
“There are other agencies better suited for what you’re outlining. If you want, I could recommend one of the agencies that operates in your region. My secretary will call you on Monday. How does that sound?”
“No, Mr. Spencer, we want to hire Scott and Roth. We can pay you.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Parker, but I’ve already told you we don’t have the time. We’re a responsible company. We don’t take on projects we can’t do. I could send you one of my guys for a couple of days. He’d show you a few general points and then send you a bill that would send a shiver down your spine. Maybe other agencies would do that, but not us.”
“I don’t accept your refusal.”
“Well, I don’t understand your insistence that it should be Scott and Roth that takes on your campaign. There are plenty of other agencies in the city. Look for the one that suits you best.” I was getting angry. I didn’t understand this man’s stubbornness.
“Yes, it’s true, there are plenty of other agencies, but we want to hire yours. Our money is as good as the Labour and Conservative Parties’ money. We won’t pay you more, but we won’t pay you less either.”
“Mr. Parker, I realize that you’re one of those men who are not prepared for anyone to disagree with them. Even so, I must reiterate that we cannot take on your campaign, or those of your friends. Please, don’t push this.”
Roy Parker didn’t bat an eye. He remained sitting in front of me, looking me over from top to bottom as if he were deciding what to do with me. I couldn’t stand the man’s stubbornness and I thought of calling security to remove him from my office once and for all.
“Of course you’ll take on my campaign—this one and all my others. I’m going to take my first step in politics. Being mayor is a way of getting started. I won’t be mayor for long. What I want is to make it here, to London, to sit in Parliament. But that won’t be enough. A ministerial post is the least I aspire to.”
“I’m glad to hear it, Mr. Parker, and given that the Queen already has an heir, it’s best that you don’t aspire to more.”
“You can keep your sarcastic comments, little city boy. I know what I want and you’re going to help me get it.”
“Why me, Mr. Parker?”
“Because you are a man with no principles, but who is intelligent and cowardly. You take things right to the limit without stepping over the line. Your instinct for survival means you pull up just short when you reach the edge of the abyss.”
For a few seconds I didn’t know what to say. I was surprised at the precise description he had given of my personality. Not even I would have been able to define it so exactly. But it aggravated me that he had dared to do so. Furthermore, how did he know I was like that?
“You don’t know me, but more importantly, it’s not for you to make value judgments about me. This conversation is over, Mr. Parker. I’ll call security to escort you to the door.”
“I’ve studied everything that’s been said about you with great care, Mr. Spencer: how you pulled a fast one at Green, how you got a certain Ms. Major out of the way and managed to get two broke rookie developers to sign a contract with a certain Mr. Li, whom you persuaded that Green was a great business opportunity. You convinced all of them that they didn’t have another choice. The papers talk about you, Mr. Spencer. They say you’re a promising public relations wunderkind. I’ve studied every step you’ve taken, how you’ve acted, in detail, and that’s what convinced me. I’ve studied you in depth. I even know things about you that you can’t imagine.”
“That’s enough, Mr. Parker. You’ve gone too far.”
I picked up the phone to call security, but I didn’t have time. Parker’s hand closed over mine, forcing me to hang up.
“We will sign a contract, Mr. Spencer. I’m sure that we’ll reach an understanding. We may even become friends.”
“No.”
“Of course you will. You’ve no reason to refuse.”
“It’s up to me who I work for.”
“No, you work for the Scott and Roth agency, and it’s your bosses who have the final say over who to accept as clients. Don’t make me use my influence, Mr. Spencer. It’s better that you accept my proposal and don’t make me resort to that.”
Roy Parker irritated me, but apart from his daring, I couldn’t manage to dislike him. He had such an aura of strength and confidence in himself that I felt disarmed in front of him.
“Nobody can make me do what I don’t want to do. I’m a free man, Mr. Parker. And since you seem to know a lot about me, you ought to know that I can leave this job. I don’t need the money.”
“I know. You’re a rich boy from New York. Your father is a prestigious lawyer with the necessary contacts to find you a job immediately. But we will accomplish great things together, Mr. Spencer. You’ll see. You’ll end up enjoying yourself. And the sooner we get down to business, the better it will be for both of us. I’ve already told you my end goal and I’m forty, so there’s no time to spare.”
“So far, everything you’ve told me has confirmed that I shouldn’t work for you,” I persevered, tired of this duel.
“I’m inviting you to dinner, Mr. Spencer; we’ll talk over some decent wine. Men get to know each other better when they share a good bottle. Diplomacy is not my strength and I say more than I should, but I’m not a bad sort. You won’t lose anything by having dinner with me.”
“I already have plans.”
“I don’t believe you. If that were the case you would have thrown me out a while ago. I think you’ve taken a shine to me, very much in spite of yourself. You don’t know how to classify me and you’re asking yourself why you’ve put up with all that stuff I said to you. I’ve been a bit clumsy, I realize that. Well, that’s what I need you for.”
“There are others who can help you. I’m not the best in this business, Mr. Parker.”
“But I always surround myself wit
h men who aren’t like everyone else. That’s why I’ve taken the trouble to hire you. You’re from New York, you don’t have class prejudices like the British do, and you’re not bothered by how things work here. The Conservatives, the Liberal Democrats, and Labour, and what becomes of this damned country are all the same to you.”
“Who did you say suggested you hire me?”
“Someone you don’t know, but who’d heard that several aspiring mayors had chosen the services of Scott and Roth and that they’d put an American in charge of their political communications department. Based on that, I began some research to see whether you were the right man. You are. I’ve no doubt about it.”
It was after seven and there wasn’t anyone left in the building except security. I didn’t have any plans for that evening other than to go back to my apartment, pour myself a whiskey, order a pizza or some Chinese, and put on a CD and listen to Sting or watch an old movie on TV.
I was hungry; perhaps having dinner with Roy Parker wasn’t a bad idea. The man interested and irritated me in equal parts. A good dinner didn’t commit me to anything.
“We’ll eat at the Aubergine. They do decent food,” I told him as I got up and put on my jacket.
“I assume they’ve got a good cellar. I can’t stand bad wine.”
“As always, Mr. Parker, it’s just a question of having money in your wallet. But from what you’ve said I know that’s not a problem for you. I’ll call them en route.”
—
Having dinner with Roy Parker was a good move. I have never regretted giving in to his insistence. We were almost inseparable for many years. We respected each other without being friends; we were never friends, nor did we seek to be. What has united us has been stronger—much deeper than friendship.
Roy Parker had married one of the richest women in the county of Derbyshire. His was a region that produced nothing but sheep’s wool and his wife’s parents were the owners of the largest flock in the area. Furthermore, they owned a factory that processed the wool, which they then sold wholesale.
His wife was an only child and the heiress to the rural empire that Roy now presided over, as his father-in-law had gradually delegated the running of the business to him.
“Suzi is an incredible woman,” he told me of his wife. “She’s clever and hardworking. She’s the one who’s encouraged me not to settle for what we’ve got. You’ll meet her. You’ll like her; you’ll see that it’s difficult to fool her. She’s got good instincts and she’s pretty too, the best-looking girl in the county. You might find her a little countrified, but she learns fast.”
He showed me a photo in which he appeared beside a sassy-looking redhead and two equally redheaded children.
“That’s Suzi with my two sons, Ernest and Jim. They’re a couple of little devils but they’re good boys, really.”
That night we drank a couple of bottles of Château Margaux over dinner, in addition to two or three bourbons that were my contribution. Roy explained exactly what he wanted and what he was prepared to pay to get it, no beating around the bush. He even suggested that I leave Scott & Roth and work exclusively for him.
“It wouldn’t be a good idea, at least not to start with. I’m a pretty new arrival; I don’t know anyone relevant in London. I need the agency for a while. Doors open if you knock in the name of Scott and Roth and you’re going to need a lot of doors to open.”
Roy wanted to just get on with it. Managing his in-laws’ businesses had taught him that if you have good relationships with those in power, life is much easier. He said that he was fed up with seeing how a local competitor gained advantages in his business dealings thanks to his relationships with mayors and local dignitaries. Furthermore, he wanted to become rich. He wasn’t content with his wife’s money.
“I could be content with being mayor, but I’m not going to settle for so little just yet. I’ll take the next step as soon as possible: a seat in Parliament. I want to be the one who holds the reins of my destiny and the reins of other people’s. I won’t claim that I want power because I’m a caring soul. I want it for my own benefit and for the benefit of those I think deserve it, like I do.
“There’s a lot of shamelessness in Parliament. Why shouldn’t I get in there? They deceive the people by promising them a better life. I don’t plan on deceiving anyone. I’ll do what I promise to do, but, in addition, I’ll always be seeking to benefit me and my friends. Suzi says I could end up as prime minister. I believe that too and you will help me achieve it. But I warn you, I’m not prepared to change. I won’t become a dandy, none of that trying to get me to buy clothes in Savile Row or get my Suzi to wear one of those terrible hats like the Queen wears. We are what we are. You’ll have to settle for that and for our money.”
We finished the night at Madame Agnès’s. When I suggested it he agreed without any resistance. I didn’t ask whether he knew the place, but I have to admit that he acted like a regular.
I can’t remember whether I was the one to take Roy back to his hotel or whether it was he who took me back to my apartment. On Saturday I woke up on the sofa in the living room, fully dressed, glass of bourbon in hand and stinking of alcohol.
Why had I made a deal with this man? I asked myself while I tried to wake myself up with a cold shower. I couldn’t find an answer right then, apart from telling myself that it had been impossible for me to say no to him. Such was the force that emanated from Roy Parker that he moved forward without any resistance. Later I understood that Roy represented a challenge. With him I was starting from scratch. I had to invent him. He didn’t come from a good family, he wasn’t a member of any party, and in reality he didn’t seem to know anyone important in spite of the pretentious nonsense he spouted. And even so, he still aspired to be nothing less than prime minister. I told myself that we could try to even achieve it. It was a case of being able to fool not just a few but a lot of people. Ours wouldn’t be a clumsy deceit of appearances, though, but something more subtle, because Roy had made it clear that he was not prepared to seem to be what he was not.
I thought Cathy would laugh at me. Every time we exchanged looks I could see deep disdain for me in her eyes. But she was too intelligent to show it beyond a few sarcastic comments and, of course, her undertaking to visit Mark Scott from time to time. But that had been the deal.
For Cathy I was just an incident along the way, and the same went for Richard Craig, my efficient assistant. They both wondered when I’d get bored or at what moment Mark Scott or Denis Roth would decide to get rid of me. They thought it was a question of time, and they were right. It was just that Roy had crossed my path and what he had proposed amused and stimulated me more than anything else that could have happened to me.
I had arranged to have breakfast with Roy at the Dorchester Hotel before he went back to his county. I had promised to bring a contract we would both sign. The only hitch was that I also needed the signature of the head of the finance department. I didn’t hesitate to call Maggie and ask her to find someone to rubber-stamp the contract.
Maggie protested.
“It’s Saturday,” she reminded me. “Where does all this sudden interest in Mr. Parker come from? You didn’t even want to come to the phone…”
I insisted and she agreed to try. Half an hour later she called me to tell me it was impossible. Nobody was prepared to go into the office on a Saturday. There was nothing that couldn’t wait until Monday. I had to accept it.
Roy was waiting impatiently for me in the hallway of the Dorchester. He looked as bad as I did, the result of the copious alcohol we had drunk, but his mood was even worse than mine.
“Thomas”—we were now on a first-name basis—“don’t arrange to meet me in a place like this again. There’s no one here but sheikhs and people prepared to bow and scrape to them to get in on a deal. Can’t we go somewhere else where they’ll do us some decent sausages? I know a place where they do the best breakfast in London, a full English: eggs and bacon, sausages, tomatoe
s, fried bread, mushrooms, chips, and baked beans. The place is run by a family, the Pelliccis, and I guarantee you will never forget their breakfast.”
I didn’t give in. Roy’s culinary tastes were very different from mine. I was not accustomed to big breakfasts. My mother’s ethnic background and her battle against putting on the pounds had been deciding factors in certain customs at home. No eggs or sausages for breakfast for us, to the dismay of my father, who had to get used to having a cup of coffee with a couple of slices of toast with butter and jelly.
My mother said that eating eggs at seven in the morning made her queasy. As a result, my brother, Jaime, and I were the only boys at our school who had milk and cereal for breakfast, and a cup of coffee and the aforementioned toast when we were older.
Roy was upset that I didn’t have the contract and he had to accept my word that I would have it signed and sent to him on Monday.
“You have to trust me,” I told him.
“Of course I do! It’s just that I don’t like to waste time. I’ve never understood why things don’t work as normal on weekends.”
“Well, people have the right to rest.”
He shrugged. Roy was the type who thought that if he was capable of something there was no reason why other people shouldn’t be.
I accompanied him to the station and then I went back to my apartment. I had to come up with a strategy for Roy Parker and his friends’ campaign. It wasn’t going to be easy, and I also had to explain to Mark Scott that I had taken on a new client. But I was determined to keep my promise to Parker.
—
I arrived at the office at seven o’clock on Monday morning. I’d sent each member of my team a dossier with basic ideas for the Parker campaign and had summoned them to a meeting before they started their assigned tasks.
Maggie seemed to be in a bad mood and Cathy’s wasn’t much better.
“We’re taking charge of Parker’s campaign. I assume that you’ve had time to read the document I sent you yesterday. There are a number of ideas to get to work on. We’re starting from zero. We need to come up with everything for them from scratch. Philip, I want you to make me an electoral map of the region: which party normally wins, what are the key economic issues in the area, what do the local papers say about this group that Parker’s a part of. I want to know everything about them and, most of all, about the Labour and Conservative candidates they’ll be facing.
Story of a Sociopath Page 20
