by Tenaya Jayne
Dulcee and Dr. Verell were inside the same dream. When two people enter the dream world together, they are not usually aware of the presence of the other person. Both believe they are alone, unable to see, hear, or feel the other person. Upon entering the dream, Dr. Verell had no idea that she was dreaming at all. She was deeper in her subconscious than she had ever been, and the whole thing was reality to her.
Dulcee, on the other hand, was aware she was dreaming instantly.
They stood in the same snow-covered forest, side by side. The forest was shrouded in night and snow was lightly falling around them. The moon hung full and bright, casting its light down on the snow, illuminating everything in its pale, enchanting glow. They were standing so close to one another, their shoulders were almost touching. But neither woman could see, or hear the other, separated by a mirror membrane. For their eyes, all there was to see was the empty forest.
Dulcee and Dr. Verell looked almost identical; you would have thought you were looking at the same woman, only one was younger than the other. Dulcee smiled, looking down at her beloved blue nightgown, and shook out her perfectly curled hair around her shoulders. Dr. Verell looked down at the red nightgown she wore and shivered. The forest frightened her. There was no noise, and the lack of it made Dr. Verell afraid. However, where Verell saw danger, Dulcee saw her very own personal playground.
They both began to walk forward in a straight line, stepping at the same time. The membrane keeping each to her side, until Dulcee veered to the right and Dr. Verell to the left.
Feeling more nervous by the second, Dr. Verell picked up her pace. The cold of the snow was burning in her bare feet and up her legs. All was quiet with the exception of her breathing that was puffing steam into the air. She was walking in a thickly wooded area, under the dark oppressive trees. The moonlight filtered down through the branches, creating a patchy look to the ground. This world was black, white, and varying shades of grey, with the exception of her blood-red sheath.
She moved onward, directionless. She was sure she would freeze to death if she couldn’t get out of the snow. Her feet had stopped burning and were now partially numb as frostbite began to threaten. Had Verell not been so focused on the pain in her feet, she might have noticed sooner that she was being followed.
Thinking she had heard something other than her own breathing and footsteps, she paused, but she didn’t stay still any longer than the time it took to hear. Her muscles locked down and instinct screamed, RUN!
She glanced over her shoulder. Lurking in the shadows, not far behind her, were many pairs of reflective eyes low to the ground. The moon illuminated the steam from the creatures’ breath as it rose into the air. Her heart was in her throat. She didn’t know what to do, so she continued to walk forward at the same pace, looking decidedly forward, until the creatures began to growl.
Dr. Verell broke into a run and she could hear her pursuers chasing after her. The forest grew thicker, slowing her down, she had to dodge limbs and branches. She looked back over her shoulder to see it was a pack of wolves that hunted her. Some of them were grey and some of them were black, and they all looked haggard and starved. Their eyes were wide, their teeth barred, and they were closing in.
Dr. Verell was running so fast and kept glancing back that she never saw the tree root, sticking up out of the snow, which sent her flying. She went hurtling through the air and landed on her face in the snow. There was no chance of even getting to her feet again. The pack surrounded her. She could feel their putrid breath steaming on her skin. This was it. She didn’t dare look up, she didn’t want to watch herself being torn to pieces.
Verell braced herself for the attack, but nothing happened. She continued to hold her breath but still the attack didn’t come. She pushed herself up and wiped the snow from her face. The wolves had backed off and she found herself cowered in someone’s shadow.
Her eyes traveled up until they beheld his face. It was him. It was Vincent. His presence seemed to suck up the light around him. He leaned down and offered her his hand, she took it and he pulled her vertical. She was sure it was him. He smiled at her, a smile that made her heart flutter.
Looking around, Dr. Verell saw the wolves were keeping their distance. Their bodies were all slung low as they growled and snapped angrily but they kept away.
"Don’t cross me, Doc," Vincent said, looking her in the eye. "Or I’ll let them eat you."
There was no trace of humor in his voice. He meant it. "So, Trisha, what do you think?"
She smiled at his calling her Trisha. No one had called her that since college. "What do I think about what?" she asked.
"This." He waived his hand around, indicating the forest.
"I’m dreaming."
He snorted contemptuously as though she was wasting his time. "Well? Ask me."
She fought for a second, trying to reconfigure her thoughts under his glare, trying to keep up.
"The note I found in Dulcee’s notebook…?"
"Yes, it was for you."
Dr. Verell shivered internally. "What are you?"
"No," he said abruptly and spun on his heel, striding quickly away.
She rushed after him and the pack of wolves followed. "What do you mean no?"
Vincent slowed his pace but kept moving. "No. It’s not time for that question."
"Oh. What kinds of questions is it time for?"
"Shut up!" he snapped over his shoulder.
Verell stopped in her tracks for a second, shocked. This isn’t going so well, she thought.
"You think you’re so smart," he accused, continuing forward.
They moved steadily on through the trees in silence. The pain of the cold had stretched all the way up her legs, she couldn't feel her fingers either, but she kept quiet, not wanting to anger him again. The fear that she was going to freeze to death was pushed aside for the moment to give way to her fear of Vincent. He strode forward as a man with a purpose until finally he huffed in exasperation and stopped. Verell stopped too, three paces from him.
"All right, we’re here. Time for your lesson," he said. "Be as stupid as you like."
"I’m confused," Dr. Verell confessed.
"That much is painfully obvious…Confused about what?"
"You. I mean you just seem so…so…"
"What?" he demanded.
"So hostile, sinister even. Not the way Dulcee described you."
Vincent merely blinked at her once, and then charged. Dr. Verell scrambled backwards. He pushed her roughly against a tree, grabbed both her hands, and forced them over her head, pinning her with his body.
"Well that’s what you want, isn’t it?" he snarled in her face, a hurricane in his eyes.
"No, it’s not." She struggled against him feebly. "I want tenderness. I want what you gave to Dulcee."
"Ha! What lies!"
"It’s not a lie! I swear!"
Vincent’s face relaxed, he let go of her hands, and stepped away from her.
Verell rubbed her wrists for a second, panting. "Why do you think you know more about me than I do? I mean I have been me my whole life."
Vincent snorted. "You have an inexplicable desire for destruction."
"No, I don’t," she said emphatically.
Vincent raised his eyebrows. "Really?" he was mocking her.
Rage burst inside her. She was sick of this game. "Yeah, really!" she half shouted. "You arrogant mirage! I don’t know why I’m even talking to you. You don’t even exist."
The wolves snarled and barked, agitated by her raised voice. Vincent smiled at her. She had no idea what was about to happen. He moved so fast, his arm a blur through the air. The slap to her face carried enough force to send her crashing to the ground in the snow, and the sound of it echoed through the trees. Dr. Verell cradled her face in both of her hands, huddled at Vincent’s feet, and cried, totally debased.
Vincent squatted next to her and placed his hand lightly on her head. "Shh…" he crooned.
Sh
e turned her red face to him, tears running down her cheeks. He traced one finger down the swollen side of her face, an odd glint in his eyes. "Now look what you made me do," he whispered. "Does it hurt?"
Verell whimpered and turned her face away.
"Hey! Look at me when I’m talking to you!" he grabbed her chin and jerked her head back around to face him.
"I’m sorry," she rasped through her tears. She was so confused and inexorably satisfied.
Vincent’s oceanic eyes stormed, but not in the violent way they had a moment before. He held her hurt face and kissed her mouth with the tenderness of a lover. Everything vanished from her mind. She didn’t care that he had just injured her, maybe that even made it better. The pain added to the pleasure. The emotional conflict heightened the sensation. He broke away, leaving her gasping.
"So, now what? Huh? Which way do you go?" Vincent asked.
"I don’t understand."
"You have to decide what you want. Will you reject me, as you should, because I slapped you? Dulcee would."
"Dulcee would let you do anything to her you wanted," she said.
Vincent smiled easily. "Actually, that’s not true, but Dulcee aside, you determine your own worth right here and now. What do you want?"
"I want you."
"That’s what I thought. Come on let’s go. You need to get warm."
Vincent pulled her to her feet and they went on.
"Where are we going?" she asked quietly.
"Just up here," he said, gesturing to the trees in front of them. "I’ve made a place for us. You can get warm and be safe there."
Dr. Verell looked ahead. They were approaching a small clearing, a place where the trees opened in a circle. The moon’s light reflecting off the snow made a warm chill pass through her. They stopped at the edge of the clearing and Vincent turned and looked at her. She blushed, faltering under his gaze and turned her eyes to the ground. Vincent laughed.
"Are you afraid of me?" he asked, amused.
"Very," she admitted, still looking at the ground.
"Good. Then you’re in your place, showing me the respect I demand."
Vincent smiled at her again and held out his hand for her to take. Dr. Verell hesitated for a split second, looking closely at the clearing. It wasn't what she had thought when they were approaching it. It was not an area of untouched snow but a bed of white silk on the ground. It was a love nest for them, he had prepared it, and it was all there was to keep her from freezing to death. The deviation of his actions perplexed her.
Vincent waited for her to take his hand, which she did, and down into the nest they went together. Once they were under the covers, he did not act as she thought he would, he didn’t force himself on her, he just lay there looking up at the moon. The light was bright on them turning their skin a pale bluish white. Seeing that he was not going to act in lust, she pulled slightly away from him. The cold had reached deep inside her and she was waiting for the warmth of the bed to drive it away, but it didn’t, rather she got colder and colder.
Vincent was gazing at her placidly as she shifted and rubbed her arms trying to warm up, but nothing was stopping the cold. He opened his arms to her, she nestled into him and finally the ice began to melt away and her blood flowed hot again.
She was so confused. Wasn’t this the man she had been dwelling on? Why was he so different? This was Vincent, but he was not the Vincent she had been reading about, he had lost all of his purity. She had so many questions she wanted to ask him, but she didn’t know where to begin. He had said she had to decide her worth, and that bothered her. She didn’t really understand what he meant by that.
"What is it?" he asked, seeing the conflict in her face.
"You said I had to decide my worth?"
"Yes. You are so painfully slow, Trisha. However, I will answer this one last question, and I hope you are listening. I asked you to decide. You did. You could be worth more, but you’re not. You don’t want to be. All these years, you have pushed everyone around you so you could elevate yourself. Now you want to be pushed back. Your excess of beauty and brains make you feel superior to everyone around you, but you’re no match for me. I bet you think you’re smarter than me. Even if you were, I’ve already knocked you around, proving myself superior to you."
"How? Because you’re physically stronger than me?"
"I am stronger but more importantly, you submitted to the abuse, willingly placing yourself at my feet. You could be worth more, but you’re not. Therefore, you shall be my toy, to twist, to break, and then discard."
She gasped in shock at his coarse words. "You’re evil…and I hate you!" she whispered.
Vincent threw his head back and laughed heartily.
"Don’t lie," he said. "If I repulse you, why are you here with me? Your juvenile desire to save me? Your womanly longing to reform me? Oh, I know, maybe I’ll love you so much, I can become a good man. Please! Spare me your surface stupidity. Look beyond the obvious to the subtle."
Verell was shaking. It took her a moment to find her voice. "But, Dulcee…she…"
He cut her off. "You and Dulcee are similar and yet very different. I give Dulcee what she wants. And I’m offering you what you want."
Dulcee continued to wander through the forest all alone. She was not afraid and was still feeling quite happy. She wasn’t even all that cold anymore. She stopped and rested against the trunk of a large tree. Its rough bark grabbed at the material of her nightgown and scratched her fingertips as she touched it. It was so amazing, the things Vincent could do, she thought. Never could you touch the bark of a tree in a normal dream and really feel it, or smell it, or taste things, or have any kind of choice of what you were going to do at all.
Dulcee sighed and continued walking, confident that Vincent would find her soon, but she was feeling a little impatient.
The moon and stars above her were abnormally bright, and in the distance, they illuminated something that made Dulcee’s heart swell. She ran flat out through the snow to the magical blue aspen and wrapped her arms around its trunk. The moon glinted on the happy tears running down her cheeks. She began to walk around it, looking to see if Vincent had left her a present. She was not disappointed.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, picking up her snow globe and cradling it. "Vincent, where are you?"
"Dulcee…" his whisper echoed all around her.
Dulcee turned in a circle, unsure of where his voice had come from, her whispered name had come from every direction.
"Vincent?" she said again.
"Here." His voice came from right next to her.
A broad smile broke across her face and she found him around the other side of the aspen. Dulcee jumped into his arms, laughing and weeping.
"Oh! Oh, where have you been!" she said, clinging to him as tightly as she could.
He held her face in his hands and kissed her. "Oh, My Love, how I’ve missed you," he whispered, wiping the tears on her cheeks away. "My beautiful Dulcee. Come with me."
He grasped her hand and began leading her away, through the trees.
"Oh, Vincent I’m so happy to see you! I’ve so many questions."
"I’m so happy to see you, too, but the questions can wait for a moment," he said, continuing to pull her forward.
Dulcee saw the circular clearing up ahead and was curious. She was sure that Vincent had a nice surprise for her. They stopped at the edge of the trees and Dulcee smiled again, seeing the love nest he had made for them. She set the snow globe on the ground, and they went down into the nest together. Dulcee was instantly warm and relaxed. Vincent held her in his arms and gently stroked her face and hair. They gazed at each other for a while, both very happy to be reunited.
"So what do you think?" Vincent asked, gesturing around at their surroundings.
"It’s just like our forest behind Uncle Jack’s house," she replied. "Only I didn’t see the lake anywhere."
"The lake is that way," he said, pointing in the opposite direction
of where they came. "So what do you want to talk about?"
Dulcee’s happy mood vanished instantly, replaced with urgency. "Please, tell me what I need to know. Tell me what is real and what isn’t. The hospital is getting inside my head. I'm so confused. How do I get out? What do I have to do to be with you again?"
Vincent took a deep breath, becoming sober. "Never question what you experience in your dreams."
"What do you mean?"
"In your dreams is the only place you can truly know yourself. A dream can take you deep inside to where you hide things from yourself, to the forest within. The place of your darkest fears, your strongest hatred, the things that disgust you, your most base, perverted thoughts, and the most beautiful places that could never be found on this earth. True desire. The art that is you. Life is like the ocean, Dulcee. You can stand on the shore and look at its beauty, but if you venture under the surface, there is another world too wonderful and too deep to ever touch the bottom."
