Pierce’s joke heralds a lot of laughter and it helps to dispel a little awkwardness we’ve all felt. Well, aside from Ceana, to whom none of this is new.
The group splits up and Nico and I head off to grab our coats. It’s really cold again today but not icy and the wind has dropped, so it could be a lot worse.
As we all traipse down the lane leading into the woods, there’s a point at which we start going off in different directions.
‘Have you read this list?’ I ask Nico, trying hard not to frown as I look at the tasks we’ve been given.
‘Yes… it’s a bit outside the box for me, I will admit.’
‘Well, in that case you should go first.’
He looks at me and grimaces as we draw to a halt.
‘Do you trust me not to look?’ he asks.
Task number one is to close your eyes and let someone lead you forward while you talk through what you’re experiencing.
‘Pull your beanie hat down just in case you get tempted,’ I tease.
‘Well, that’s hardly a confidence-building start, considering you’re asking me to put my trust in you.’ He flashes me a cheeky grin and I bat my eyelashes at him in feigned annoyance.
‘Let’s just get on with it, shall we?’
Nico does as he’s told and I push the sheet of paper into my pocket.
‘Ready? Now, I’m going to lead you forward very slowly and you tell me what you’re feeling.’
Standing next to him, I place a hand firmly on his arm and the other around his middle. It’s a bit of a stretch as he’s wearing a padded jacket, but I feel I can steer him safely and off we go.
‘Well?’ I ask, when we’re several steps ahead.
‘It’s strange. I keep thinking I’m going to trip over something.’
‘I won’t let that happen. What else?’
His initial couple of steps were faltering, but he’s beginning to relax now and walk forward more purposefully.
‘I hear an airplane somewhere in the distance. And voices, someone is laughing. I can hear you breathing. Are you nervous?’
‘No. Just making sure I’m doing a good job of making sure you don’t fall over your own feet.’
He stops. ‘It’s your turn.’
As we swap over, he yanks my bobble hat down over my eyes.
‘Hey, I had no intention of cheating, believe me,’ I tell him, firmly.
As he slides his arms around me and we move off, I feel safe. I don’t hesitate to take that first step because I know Nico wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. He’s already gained my trust, implicitly.
‘Well?’
‘Um… the floor is crunchy beneath my boots. The twigs make it a little uneven and I can hear something moving, it’s very close.’
After what feels like several minutes of me tentatively putting one foot in front of the other, Nico suddenly yanks off my hat. ‘Over there,’ he whispers, ‘a rabbit.’
The little guy is up on his hind legs and appears to be eating something, probably an acorn. He nibbles away, his eyes firmly fixed on us as we remain still. Even when a bird flies overhead, he continues eating until he’s done. Then he turns and disappears into some thick bushes, seemingly content we pose no threat whatsoever.
Easing my shoulders back, Nico releases me rather awkwardly, clearing his throat. We’re going through the motions but neither of us is really taking this as seriously as Pierce intended.
‘I think we can tick that one. This is a sensory thing, isn’t it?’ He looks at me and I nod in agreement. ‘Okay. Number two. Shall we take a seat over on that huge log?’
‘If you like.’
It’s sad to see what was at one time a sturdy tree, now lying on its side. Whether it was hit by lightning, or the roots failed because of rot, it’s hard to tell. But it’s been here a long time and the trunk rises a good three feet off the ground.
Nico gives me a boost and I sit astride it as he hauls himself up.
‘Eyes closed then. You go first. This is a test of your sense of smell,’ he says.
‘Ugh, rotting wood, for sure – that’s very strong. Mushrooms. Ooh… woodsmoke, do you get that?’
‘Hmm… yes, it’s getting stronger. Someone’s only just lit a fire. Burning leaves, I think. I’m getting that earthy smell, I wouldn’t say mushrooms exactly, more like well-composted peat. As for rotting wood, I think that smell is wild garlic that is going over. It has a bitter, dank odour to it.’
‘Oh, I didn’t know that. It’s a bit fishy, too.’
Nico laughs.
‘What’s next?’
We open our eyes at the same moment, and he gives me a warm, intense smile.
‘It makes you stop and think, doing this, doesn’t it? The things around us we take for granted and cease to notice.’
His eyes are combing over me and I feel a little uncomfortable, so I look away, pulling Pierce’s instruction sheet from my pocket.
‘Point out a natural feature that looks like something else.’
We gaze around for a few minutes.
‘See that tree trunk over there?’ Nico raises his arm, pointing. ‘There’s a big knot on the left-hand side just before it branches up. It looks like a witch’s face. Two eyes and a long, beaky nose.’
It takes me a moment to see what he’s talking about, but once I’ve got it, he’s right.
‘Ooh, I’m not sure I like that. It’s a bit spooky, actually. Now, let me see… Over there, by that group of tall, skinny trees. There are some weird little branches sticking out of the side of one of the trunks. It looks like—’
‘Antlers,’ Nico replies in a hushed voice.
Nico puts a finger to his lips, and we watch in fascination as a deer forages around amongst some low-level shrubs. The tiniest of sounds catches his ear and his head shoots up, ears straining. He turns this way and that, head cocked – his eyes fixed in flight or fight mode. Seconds later, all we can see is his bobbing white tail as he runs off.
‘It’s a roe deer, un chevreuil. He’ll shed his antlers soon.’
‘Well, it was worth coming just to catch a glimpse of him.’
Nico jumps off our perch and extends his hand to help me down. My left foot slips and I end up almost pushing him over; only a pair of strong arms and a taut body saves us from landing in a heap on the compacted earth floor.
Nico stares down into my eyes. ‘Your hand is cold; you should have worn gloves. We’ll whip through the last few things and get back.’ His voice is uneven and my heart begins to pound.
Berating myself for my stupid reaction, I say the first thing that comes into my head. ‘You don’t find this all rather fascinating? I thought it would be something and nothing, but it makes me realise we walk around all the time not really seeing what’s there. If we switch off the whirling thoughts we carry around in our heads, then maybe we’d all begin to see things differently. It’s liberating, isn’t it?’ I disentangle myself from Nico’s arms with a brief ‘thank you’, but I can still feel his eyes on me while he’s considering my question.
‘Sometimes people are liberating,’ Nico mutters, as he turns away to read the next task on Pierce’s list.
‘People?’
He turns to look at me once more, but it is with a sense of reluctance. ‘Whenever I’m around you, Fern, I find myself looking at things differently. My eyes have been opened and the world seems a better place with you in it.’
Nico holds my gaze for a few agonising seconds. It isn’t only the deer that has been startled on this little walk and I have no words to explain how that statement makes me feel.
* * *
As I head back to the château in the early evening, Nico is in the hallway with his arms wrapped around a large box.
‘Just in time, Fern – can you get the studio door for me? It’s rather heavy, thanks.’
I traipse along two steps behind him and when he comes to a halt, I lean forward to swing open the door, then follow him inside.
&n
bsp; ‘You’ve been busy, I see.’ Glancing at the canvas he’s been working on, I marvel at the difference as some blossoms I hardly noticed before are now jumping out at me. I’m surprised he was in the mood to paint after our walk in the forest. ‘Beautiful shading, Nico. I wish I had your level of skill.’
He reappears from the workroom, leaning against the door jamb to look at me.
‘It all comes with practice, Fern. Patience is everything. Pierce seems to be winning you around, I’m glad to see. I noticed that he stopped to glance over your feedback sheet the minute you handed it to him.’
I admit that my first impression was that Pierce is rather overpowering, but I accept that I might have been wrong.
‘Maybe I was a little quick to judge him. I realise there’s a serious business side to the changes being made and perhaps we needed reminding of that. But I think today was a turning point for several of us, when it comes to understanding some of the techniques he uses. The whole team is committed to making this work, Nico, on every level.’
He nods, appreciatively. ‘It’s about time we began generating enough income to guarantee a long-term future here for everyone. That means offering something more than a basic salary and the ability to cover the running costs. If we can’t achieve that target, the fear is that either I’ll run out of money or we’ll lose good people who can earn more elsewhere. It all began in a very low-key way, which has been fine until now. But volunteers are few and far between these days, and those who regard this as their home deserve to be recompensed accordingly for their skills. It’s only fair and to do that we need to get serious. Pierce doesn’t just bring his expertise, but he also has that sound business acumen which could be the difference between success and failure. It will allow me to step back from a role I was never really very good at, anyway.’
It’s heartening to hear Nico sounding so delighted about delegating some of the workload; maybe this means he will be able to spend more time in his studio in future. I hope he’s proud of what he’s achieved here, though.
‘You were good enough, Nico, to set this up and bring together a group of like-minded people. Without that start, The Haven would be nothing more than a dream. Don’t underestimate your abilities.’
His smile is lopsided; I’ve embarrassed him a little, but I can see he’s pleased by my words.
‘There’s a place for you long-term if you want it, Fern. There’s no time limit, the offer is open-ended.’
I drag my eyes away from his face, reluctantly. ‘Thank you, Nico. But I don’t think my future is destined to be here. The thought is lovely on one hand, but to stay would mean my life had fallen apart. This will always represent a very special time for me, though. And I’m glad to be a part of this new phase, until my year is up at the end of June.’
It seems strange being at the halfway point in my stay. A year felt like a long time to begin with, but now it seems to be speeding along.
‘Are we dancing this evening?’ he asks, and I laugh.
‘Yes, we’re dancing.’
It’s been a good day, much has been achieved, so why wouldn’t we?
* * *
Ceana calls for quiet as Nico begins speaking. ‘Before we set up the karaoke and let off some steam, can we just run through our proposed plan for revising the accommodation under the new regime?’
Quiet descends around the table as everyone is keen to know about the final changes.
‘This was a tough decision, guys, and I don’t want you to think it was taken lightly. In order to justify the increased rate we’re going to be charging to guarantee a reasonable income for all, we have to move the guest accommodation back into the château. That means the two courtyard units will, in future, be the staff quarters.
‘Bastien, my friend, that includes moving you out of the second floor of the cottage, too, I’m afraid. It doesn’t increase the number of places we can offer, which will stay at sixteen rooms in total, but it frees up a couple of additional practice rooms in the cottage.’
Nico pauses, glancing briefly at Ceana, who takes over.
‘One of those will be turned into a consulting room ready for when our final staff member joins us, hopefully early in March. Then all of the nine staff bedrooms in the two units will be occupied. So, we’ve gained our new quiet rooms and utilised all the available space in the most productive way. Offering bedrooms in the château again is going to be a big part of the overall package and that will get us the premium we need.’
Nico looks around to check everyone’s reaction. ‘Feel free to speak your mind. I know it’s been a tough few weeks.’
Bastien leans forward in his chair. ‘You mean I get to bump into these guys on the landing? What’s the world coming to?’
Everyone begins to laugh.
‘No problems here,’ Taylor jumps in.
‘Show of hands? Those in favour?’ Ceana asks.
One by one the hands go up, and both Nico and Ceana look relieved.
‘Pierce and I are in discussion with our accountant about revised pay scales that will come into effect in January, to reflect the increased course fees. We won’t be offering volunteer status any longer, so we need to look at how that will affect Fern and Kellie going forward,’ Nico confirms. I wasn’t expecting that, and I don’t think Kellie was, either.
‘We have no idea how many weeks of the year we’ll run at our target eighty-five per cent occupancy,’ Pierce explains. ‘The intention going forward is that we agree, as a group, set holiday weeks when we close The Haven. But what Nico tells me has traditionally been the quieter time has turned out not to be the case this year and you all kept going. At the end of the first year, a staff bonus will be paid to reward your hard work and commitment.’
Everyone is stunned, but Pierce continues. ‘Nico is very clear about that. It never was simply about making a profit for the sake of it, but building something we can all be proud to be a part of. However, the financial burden on Nico in the past has been phenomenal and it’s up to us now to grow our reputation to ensure that’s no longer the case.’
Kellie looks so happy, her smile lights up her eyes, but I’m beginning to wonder if, when I leave, I will feel like I’ll be letting the team down. As my mind starts to process Pierce’s words, Nico begins talking.
‘Pierce is now the official general manager of The Haven, and Ceana will become the supervising team manager. Anton will be joining us on a full-time basis as our head gardener and we will be drafting in help during our busiest months in the garden. Ceana will still teach horticultural lessons, in addition to some well-being classes. I will continue to run art classes, but the plan is to change the emphasis so we attract people who already have some level of experience. Now, let’s stop talking work and uncork the wine – we did it, guys. I think a toast is in order and thank you all for helping to make this happen. I feel privileged to be working alongside each of you.’
There’s a unanimous round of applause and Nico raises his hand to quieten us all.
‘Since the château was handed down to me, I always felt it deserved to be given a purpose. It is my home, but over the last few years it has become our collective home. I didn’t want it to become a sad, empty place in which one man shut himself away from the world. You all give it life and I couldn’t ask for any more than that.’
The air is filled with a chorus of noise and air punching. It’s been a long journey and I’ve only been a very small part of it, but I’m delighted for this wonderful group of people.
As chairs are pushed back and the music begins to play, Nico heads over to me looking bashful.
‘No pressure for me to stay, then?’ I quip, mockingly.
‘Sorry. I knew the timing wasn’t right for you, but you are one of the team and you’ve contributed since your first day here. It’s a fact. We might have to pay you a fee as a consultant, but our accountant will sort all that and go through it with you. You feel so much a part of this, it’s going to hurt when you leave. You’re
irreplaceable, Fern.’
I smile up into his eyes. ‘Somewhere out there is someone searching for something they haven’t yet found, and they will find their way here – to you. I’m sure of that. I don’t need paying, Nico. This year off was funded courtesy of a lottery win.’
‘I don’t make the rules now, Fern. All of that is handled by our very capable management team. It’s a huge weight off my shoulders and it feels good. Change can be positive and sometimes you simply need to roll with it.’
He knows I can’t do that. But tonight it’s about celebrating together and as he grabs my hand and pulls me into the crowded space, we’re celebrating big style.
This has become my second home, I reflect, unable to deny it. But it can never be my first home and that’s something Nico must accept.
24
The Past Will Always Be a Part of the Present
The last two weeks have flown by and tonight, although both Nico and I came to the studio to work, neither of us is in the mood to paint. And that’s something we seem unable to hide.
There’s only so long you can mix colours and prevaricate, instinctively knowing that if the brush touches the canvas when you’re not inspired, you will regret every single brushstroke, and hate yourself for it. I know Nico’s been watching me out of the corner of his eye for a while and that tells me exactly how distracted he is, too.
The changes that have been going on here are positive, if a little unsettling in some respects. How ironic that I came here to escape the changes going on in my own life, only to be reminded that it’s one of life’s givens. Nothing stays the same way forever.
‘What is it?’ Nico calls out as he begins to clean up. It’s only just after eleven p.m. which is early to call it quits for the night. ‘Your mood is affecting me.’
Summer in Provence Page 21
