'Never mind kissing cousins", said Jill, "Elizabeth! Who is this solicitor?'
Ah, saved or so I thought.
---~---
E.
I was discovered. But how? In my world it was a secret. There had been no scandal or publicity. But here I was infamous!
They were both looking at me for an explanation although I felt that their anticipation of a reply was not completely based on judgement of my character. Nevertheless to be seen to have 'run off' with two gentlemen in my young life put me in a very delicate position. I was at a loss. I hoped James had not put me on too high a pedestal. The fall could be fatal.
Then James tried to come to my rescue.
"Jill. Don't. We've all made fools of ourselves in our lives."
"Speak for yourself, Jim."
"Yeah? What about that Tarquin in Emsworth with the yacht or the rubber dinghy, as it turned out?
"Don't you dare mention that, Jim!"
"Or that one with the villa in France or static caravan as we call it in this country. Didn't he..... ?"
"OK, OK! Alright, we are all idiots in love. I'm sorry Elizabeth I didn't mean to pry."
“It is alright Jill. But you see I am now undone."
To my surprise my words provoked a wave of sympathy in Jill who put her arm around me.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Elizabeth, that was unforgivable of me."
"No, it has to come out, Jill. I will tell all and you can judge me."
I now stood on a road to which there was no turning back. I composed myself and began.
"I was only nineteen years of age when I met and became besotted with a gentleman of culture and wit. We would meet in Chichester and he would entertain me with marvellous stories of India and the Orient. He told me his wife had died in Jaipur which had affected him greatly and had promised himself to live a celibate life. This, as you know, Jill, becomes immediately a challenge to any woman."
“See, Jim", said Jill with that mischievous look she used with James, "all you had to do was become a monk or priest and you would have had them queuing up."
“Shall we let Elizabeth continue?"
It was a command to which she quickly acquiesced and apologised to me.
"Please do not apologise, Jill, your humour is helping. So, to continue. After our second meeting he confessed that he loved me and told me I was the sweetest thing he had ever met and I kindled such a flame in him that he wanted to live with me forever."
"Wow, Elizabeth why haven't I met a man like that? Don't answer that Jim."
"You do not want to meet a man like that, Jill, but maybe you were less naive than me at that age."
James looked perplexed. Jill said nothing save to momentarily look down at her toes. I continued.
"He tried to convince me that we should live together in a bohemian style. I was not up to do this. But I compromised. I...,"
I looked at James. I thought I saw encouragement in his eyes.
“I did spend, how can I say, some time with him in close company."
For some reason they then seemed to relax and I am sure there was almost inexplicably a look of disappointment or disinterest as though what I had done was the commonest thing in the world! I continued.
"But then I discovered he had another mistress."
Their reactions immediately changed.
"What! The bastard!" said Jill. "Did you take his eyes out?"
James concurred though suggested as men are prone to do, a more prolonged bout of violence.
I was quite taken aback by their exclamations. They do seem to use rather an extraordinary amount of vulgar language in their conversation but I could see it did have its uses in releasing suppressed emotion. I was also gratified to see that they did have some important moral boundaries.
"Yes, thank you, Jill, for expressing quite succinctly what I thought but was unable to say and although I did not take his eyes out, my hat pin did find its mark."
"Ouch!" Said James who involuntarily covered his lower half with his hands for some reason.
"Good for you Elizabeth. God, stringing along two mistresses!"
"Jill!" Said James with a look of shock on his face.
“Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to call you that."
"Yes, James, she is right. I was a mistress as well. No different from her. Except, she was a married woman! When I found out I was heartbroken. I immediately stopped seeing him. I was such a fool!"
"And did anyone find out?" Said Jill.
"No, only Flory who gave me great sympathy and support and kept it a secret. So you see my manners and position which I have shown you are a sham. But now I find I am a mistress again and my former secret is in the papers!”
Jill could see I was almost in tears and hugged me closer. She turned to James.
"Say something, Jim!"
I looked at James. I awaited his judgement.
---~---
J.
I could see what this confession had cost her and also that she regarded herself as my mistress which compromised her honour and increased her vulnerability. I realised the time had come to do what I had promised to do.
I got down on one knee and held her hand. It was a moment I would remember as I had managed to place my knee rather excruciatingly on a drawing pin which I must have swept off the desk during one of my discussions with the diary. I desperately hoped the pain on my face and the tightness of my hand on hers would be interpreted as my affection for her.
"Elizabeth, will you marry me?"
"Blooming hell!" said Jill. "Where's my camera? This is going straight in the family album. Keep still, Jim, and keep that expression. Elizabeth, move round a bit so I can get your profile. Perfect."
"Jill!”
"Yes, Jim? Changed your mind?"
"Will you please shut up and let Elizabeth speak? I've got a drawing pin stuck in my knee and I can't keep this position much longer. Aagh!"
And what did they do? They both fell about laughing. Jeez, only 20 minutes ago I was happily alone working on that confounded diary and now I found myself proposing marriage with a spike in my knee with two witless females bent on ..!
Then Elizabeth took pity on me, well, eventually, helped me up and pulled out the pin from my knee.
"Of course I will marry you, James,” she kissed me quickly and said, “And I will keep this as a remembrance of this moment and the sacrifice you made for me.” A bit more sincerity would have been welcome.
God! You try to be romantic with a girl and look what happens. I made a mental note to burn every Bronte and Austen book in the house. Then Jill said: "Here Elizabeth let me take a pic of your memento. Oh my God, Jim, look you’re bleeding!” But instead of attending to the injury, “nurse” Jill took a picture of my bloody trousers and turning said, “Well, Elizabeth, there can't be many men who would shed blood to get a girl's hand in marriage"
Then they were off on their merriment train again.
"This bleeding proposal will be off if you two don't stop laughing."
Of course they didn't and I didn't withdraw my offer.
---~---
E.
We were married the following week. James had done his best to recreate my world. He had dug out a series of pre-Raphaelite prints in the hope that they would be to my liking from which I chose for my wedding dress that of Ophelia painted by Waterhouse. I do not know how much it cost. James chose a complete highland outfit in the tartan of the hunting Urquhart. He looked very fetching.
He found for our ceremony an enchanted dell of yew near my home at Hamgreen and festooned it with flowers and garlands. I had wanted to be married in a church but when he showed me what he had prepared for me I felt that if God was to agree to a marriage between James and a fallen woman he would approve of this place for our binding. For as James said, although he was not a religious man he thought if God exists then surely to be married in a place of his creation was preferable to one of man's. When I saw the bower I could not disagree.
---~---
Chapter Thirteen
J.
Happiest man in the world and all that; best day of my life, etc. Marrying Elizabeth was the best thing I have ever done, and so on.
---~---
J.
A day or so later, I was back in the attic with the diary trying to understand time dilation. What was causing it? Perhaps it was really out of time. For some reason I tried weighing it. Yes it had weight. Then I realised that was a pointless exercise as I didn't know what it was supposed to weigh. I wished I could talk to Wells. I was in his time line but which one? Perhaps the clue was in one of his books. Or perhaps the diary was just the manifestation of something bigger in our time or possibly some other time. There must be a key. A key? Perhaps it would respond to a musical note or scale?
I picked up my guitar and played C Major Scale. Then I tried the minor. The Eb caused a slight change in colour. I tried the chromatic scale across three octaves. Bb, Ab changed the colour.
I picked up the strobe light again and tuned the flash frequency to Bb and shone it at the screen. The screen turned black. Then for some reason, possibly because I had been watching the strobe too closely, I had the distinct impression that the room blurred again! I switched it off immediately and the room bounced or wobbled back into shape. I needed a rest. My eyes were aching. But I felt I was close to something. I called Elizabeth.
"Elizabeth! Come quick I think I've cracked it."
She came up the ladder and I explained what I had done.
“Are you sure your language has not just shamed it into giving up its secrets?"
"Watch." I said, ignoring her jibe, and turned on the strobe. The screen went black. The room began to mist over again. Then I swear strange shapes or shadows began to appear out of the walls.
“Stop it, James! Please!"
I turned it off.
The shadows disappeared.
"You saw something too?"
"The room seemed to flicker, James, and it made me feel unsteady."
"I think this diary is just the front end of something else. Are you prepared to explore?"
"Explore what, James? Do you not think we have explored enough in our short time together? You have not been reading by chance the Strange Adventures of Captain Dangerous and let his exploits put foolish ideas in your head?"
"Captain Dangerous?" This chap seemed to be one up on my self-appointment as Captain Intrepid.
"You have not heard of GAS, James? You know Augustus Sala. I thought he was all the rage amongst young men who preferred their adventures from the comfort of an armchair."
“Ah, these days we get our kicks from a comfy seat at the cinema. Besides, you may have noticed I don't look for adventure. Adventure seems to find me! And as soon as I can finish this damn adventure and get back to my cottage and armchair the better."
She held my hand. "OK, James, I see you are in earnest but please do not let go of me!"
I turned on the strobe. The screen went dark and the room shimmered. I felt her hand tighten around mine. I turned to her. The hairs on the back of my neck tingled. Ripples of light were passing through her body. She was growing faint, no, she was becoming transparent. What was happening? Then my desk began to dissolve before my eyes. I tried to grab my chair but felt nothing. I could still feel Elizabeth's hand but when I looked down our hands and more importantly the strobe had vanished!
What I thought were flickering shadows began to form shapes. The walls expanded at an incredible speed dragging the shapes and shadows with them until suddenly there was a shift in my vision and I found myself floating in what seemed to be the ruins of a great gothic cathedral. It was bathed in a green glow. Vines grew and clung to the walls, and above, white ancient towers broken by time reached for the sky. With some trepidation I slowly looked downwards. Fear washed over me. My body had disappeared! I turned to Elizabeth. She was gone! Yet I could feel her hand in mine. I had a sensation of floating or drifting invisibly. I looked down further and to my horror I realised there was a graveyard below me which covered the floor of the nave. What looked like broken crosses, stooping angels and mausoleums lay in rows, covered with blue-grey, iridescent, mildew. Hooded creatures like bats drifted over the stones. I was immersed in a gothic horror.
"Elizabeth!" I shouted. I did not hear my voice but I heard it in my head. Then dozens of girlish faint voices percolated into my mind like sprites.
"Oh where am I? Where is James? I am lost. No! My God, I know this place! Hold me, James!"
I shouted in my head. "I'm here, Elizabeth." Wherever here was.
Then the intimate warmth of Elizabeth suddenly enveloped my senses. Oh, what bliss.
"Oh, James. I can feel you but I can't see you”. Then a sharp sound. “Oh, you can't think about sex now, surely?" Before I could reply her voice changed. "Oh, James." She came closer. I could smell her scent and sweet breath. Her voice whispered, “Oh, that is so nice." She was melting into me.
I had to get out of this. We were drowning in pleasure. I tried to will myself into other thoughts. I felt a jolt.
"James, why are you thinking about your mother!!" Her warmth withdrew immediately. "Oh, I see. I will also try to keep similar thoughts in my head."
I could not see what distracted her but some semblance of normality returned though her confused thoughts kept on entering my head. Some not as complimentary as I would have liked. She sensed it. A flood of disjointed telepathic words entered my mind.
“Oh, why did I agree....Oh, I'm sorry, James, we are feeling all our thoughts. We must get out before we find out everything about each other. Yes, I know you don't know how.... Who is Captain Intrepid? Oh I see... You are not a failure... Yes, that is how I see you....oh, is that how you see me? Oh, that is so nice....I'm falling into you again...must think of something else quick."
---~---
E.
For a brief moment it was like a dream of a familiar place to which I could not remember. The great nave rose up above me and opened to the sky. It was beautiful. I was floating free in the air without my body but I was inside my mind and then the enormity of what had happened struck me. Where was James? I reached out for him. My thoughts like sprites flew from my mind, searching.
Then his thoughts washed across me like waves. Some just ripples and others, though thankfully few, like storm waves crashing against a cliff. I tried to cushion myself from them but to no avail. I had not realised what passion a man had for a woman's body, nor how it could provoke such an equally passionate response! How manners and conventions suppressed our evolutionary urges to procreate and survive. Though I imagine without them we would still be living in caves. I could see why some species were seasonal in their amorous relationships.
I had to think and help James.
"James, James! Can you feel the strobe?"
The word "feel" made him press against me then he withdrew.
"I'm trying."
"Try imagining it your hand, oh, and try to imagine that is not in your hand. Really, James!”
"Sorry. Yes, I can feel it. I'm going to press it."
The cathedral vanished. We were in James’ attic again.
"My God, Elizabeth. I apologise for every thought I had about you."
Actually, I was very flattered. Imagine if he had been false in his love for me. But I must not let him ascend too far above me.
"Well, James, at least I have a better understanding of men when they offer me their affections."
He looked mortified. How vulnerable men are constantly needing compliments on their devotions. Then he caught me.
"And how many "understandings" have you had Elizabeth?"
Had he seen inside my mind? Did he know my whole life? What had the diary done? What had he seen? I involuntarily put up my wall and prepared my arrows. He saw it.
---~---
J.
Why did I say that? I can sit down and use orthogonal Eigen vectors, almost imagine 4D space and solve
the equations to get a space ship to Pluto. Yet a simple inquiry into a girl's past life... Oh dear.
"Am I dead now, Elizabeth?"
"No, James, but I have sharpened my arrows."
I winced.
" Feel free to keep that arrow and if you think I'm going to say something like that again please prod me sharply with it."
"Oh, James, you do test me at times but we have just experienced more intimacy than possibly any other couple have had and survived. You could have submerged me in your mind and done with me what you will. To resist that is love indeed."
If only she knew how close I had been to not resisting. I tried to move on.
"So what happened?" That was supposed to be rhetorical.
"We have been back and forth in time, James. We have jumped to a new time and now we have gone out of time."
We had jumped out of time. I thought about this. But it had not been our corporeal selves. Where we had been had been without mass and without mass we had been able to leave time! We had entered the realms of light!
Just then Jill came up the ladder.
"Oh, that's where you are. Where have you been for the last two days? You could have told me you were going away. I could have arranged a nice private party with Sean."
I looked at her then Elizabeth.
"We've been here all the time Jill. In fact we were only talking to you about an hour ago."
"What - you've found another time machine?"
"No we've found a non-time machine. A machine where time stands still."
---~---
Chapter Fourteen
J,
The next day I was back in the attic with Elizabeth. We had been writing notes of our experience for over an hour trying to make sense of it but to avail.
“Are you prepared to go back, Elizabeth? We'll have to concentrate very hard but I've got the strobe to get us back out.”
“I don’t know, James. We are too close. Suppose we cannot resist each other? We would fall into an infinite abyss of passion."
Out of Time Page 15
