“All right, Mandy Parker,” he said, as the early afternoon quickly faded into late. Back at school, the school where I was supposed to be, the last class of the day was scheduled to let out in only an hour. “What’s next?”
“Can we just sit for a little bit?” I asked. I knew that if I had started to feel the long day taking a toll on my body, then Gabe couldn’t have been feeling any better. He hadn’t once complained about any kind of pain, but his limp had gotten worse as the day went on. We stopped at the south lawn and took a seat on an empty bench. We let our bookstore bags rest at our feet, and both of us stared at the buzzing campus.
“Thanks for today,” I said, finally turning to look at him. He smiled and nudged me with his shoulder.
“You had fun, then?”
“Loads.”
“And to think you almost blew this off.”
“I know, right?” I said, feeling my eyes grow heavier. I didn’t know if it was the long day of walking, the downward spiral of my adrenaline high, or what, but I suddenly found my eyelids falling heavily with each blink. My head landed softly against his shoulder, and Gabe rested his head against the top of mine.
“It was fun for a day, you know?” I said quietly. “Getting to see what it would be like, having the chance to experience it for a while.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, and although I couldn’t see his face, I sensed that his eyes were also closed. There was something heavy in his voice, something that sounded relaxed and completely at peace. “Even if you have to go to LA, Mandy, you’re still coming back. You’re in. You’re going to spend four, glorious years here.”
“Not if my Dad gets his way,” I said, and my eyes flittered open. I watched as groups of students walked by, each of them in their own little world, and none of them paying the least bit of attention to us. “Well, I guess it’s not so much the school that bothers him as it is the chosen field of study.”
“Which is English, right?”
“Yeah. I want to focus on creative writing. I feel like I have a thousand stories inside of me, and I need to write them.”
“Really?” he asked. There was a catch in his voice, but he didn’t sound surprised. “And that’s a problem, why?”
“Because my mom is a writer,” I said, hoping to spare the details. “It’s really a long story, but in a nutshell, she chose her career over our family, and Dad’s never really forgiven her. None of us have. I guess he’s just afraid that I’ll do the same.”
“Surely he knows you better than that,” he said. “Surely he doesn’t think—”
“You’re right,” I said. “He doesn’t think. He doesn’t care about anything but his own selfish wants and needs. That’s kind of why I needed the scholarship in the first place.” Gabe didn’t say anything for a moment, so I assumed he was trying to put all the pieces together. “Dad’s only agreed to fund my education if I promise to study anything other than English. I can’t make that promise. I won’t, so I’m stuck trying to figure out how to do it my own way. I only applied here because I thought I’d have time and resources to figure out an alternative solution.”
Gabe’s head slowly eased off of mine, so I lifted my head and sat up straight.
“You should keep going after what you want, Mandy,” he said. “With or without your dad’s permission. It’s not his life, and you can’t make decisions for yourself just to appease him.”
“I know.”
“And you’re on track for the scholarship,” he said. “Your whole team is. You guys are doing great.”
“I know.”
He slowly pulled away and turned to face me. “So then what’s the problem?”
“Hmm?”
“We’re talking about your future here, but you couldn’t be less enthused. What’s wrong?”
“Gabe, this was all really nice, don’t get me wrong,” I said, looking back at the grass to avoid his stare. “But we’re not going to stay in Sugar Creek, I know. I can feel it. And that just means I’ll have to give up my chance for the scholarship. Without the money, then I only have one option: Dad. And what kind of option is that if it means I have to give up the one thing I’ve always wanted to do with my life? I’m not going to go to DU. I’m not going to study English. It’s as simple as that.”
“You’re going to give up that easily?”
“I’m not giving up,” I said. “I’m being realistic. RI was my only shot at doing things my way, and if we leave today, tomorrow, or next week, I have to leave the group, and that pretty much seals my fate. I’ll end up going to school wherever Dad wants me going to school.”
Gabe didn’t say anything.
After a solid fifteen minutes of silence, we finally agreed that it was probably a good idea to head back toward Sugar Creek. The walk back to the car was quiet, but the drive was even worse. I didn’t know if I’d upset Gabe, and if I had, I didn’t know how I’d done so. I’d only been honest with him. I thought he would respect that.
He pulled into the SCHS parking lot a few minutes before the final bell was scheduled to ring. He drove up behind mine and Bailey’s parked car, stopped, and then unbuckled his seat belt. As he’d always done, he came around to my side to open my door and help me out.
“Thank you,” I said, holding on to my purse. “I really did have a lot of fun today.”
“Good,” he said, smiling again. He walked with me to the side of the car, and I turned back to him just as I reached the door.
“I don’t want you to think that I didn’t appreciate—”
“I know,” he said, nodding slowly. “I just wish I had known how complicated things were, and I would’ve taken you anywhere else. I didn’t mean to take you out there and stir up all of those raw emotions. I never meant to upset you.”
“I’m not upset, Gabe,” I said, shaking my head. “Quite the opposite, actually. I had fun, really. I’m glad I got to spend my day with you.”
He took a step closer and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me a little bit closer to him. He closed the gap between our bodies, and I felt my lungs slowly drain of air as he hugged me.
“It’s not over until it’s over, Mandy,” he said, and his voice was soft and sincere. He pressed a long kiss to the side of my head, keeping his lips there for a few long, glorious seconds. “Keep fighting for what you want, okay? Keep fighting, and I know that you’ll get everything you deserve.”
I could feel Gabe’s heartbeat as it drummed against my ear, and I smiled as I realized that it was beating just as quickly as mine. For the first in my life, I couldn’t care less about my mother, my father, my sister, or my future. Nothing around me mattered but him. All I really cared about was being right there in that moment with Gabe.
I closed my eyes and savored every moment that he held on to me, but then the car alarm sounded behind us. We both jolted, jerking our heads up to find Bailey waving at us from the school entrance. She lifted the keys with a wicked smile and then started toward the car.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at the soup kitchen,” I said, shaking my head, aggravated that my sister couldn’t let me have just one splendid moment to call my own.
“Okay,” he said, reaching down to take both of my hands. He squeezed them. “I know that walking away this morning wasn’t easy for you, but thank you.”
“For what?”
“For breaking a rule for me.”
“And the big, fat celebrity ego rears its ugly head,” I said, trying not to laugh. “What makes you think that I broke that rule for you? How do you know that I didn’t do it for myself?”
“Oh, geesh,” he said, pulling away. He shook his head and half-laughed, bringing his hands up to cover his supposedly wounded chest. “Break a man’s heart, why don’t you?”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Gabe,” I said, shaking my head as he turned away. He walked back to his car, only turning back once to steal a look at me. I shrugged and waved, and then I just kept watching him until he was back in his car
and pulling out on the highway.
I’d teased him, and maybe even flirted with him, I don’t know, but Gabe could never know how right he truly was. It had been really hard for me to break a rule for him, and that rule had nothing to do with skipping school, and everything to do with letting him in, allowing him to get a little bit closer than arm’s length.
In that moment, I was certain, based on all the things I felt in the last few hours, today had even gotten me one step closer to breaking the biggest rule of all.
Because of Gabe, my world was imploding all over again, and for the first time in forever, that wasn’t such a bad thing.
Thirteen
Bailey and I had barely moved a muscle since we’d gotten home from school. She asked me for all the juicy details of the day, and while I didn’t have anything ‘juicy’ to share, I still told her everything. It’d been the first time in years that we had a conversation that lasted so long without exploding into an argument of some kind. I noticed how smoothly things were going after about ten minutes, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to jinx it.
So we sat there on my bed talking, laughing, and musing about life. Bailey spent a while painting a vivid picture of what her life would’ve been like had we never left LA, and I (silently and every bit to myself) painted a lovely picture of what life could be like if we never had to leave Sugar Creek. I wouldn’t have to quit my job, change schools before graduation, or say goodbye to Gabe. I could go to DU, and I could live out my dream. But most importantly, I wouldn’t have to face Mom again.
“Oh good, you’re both here,” Dad said, poking his head into my room that evening.
“What do you want?” Bailey asked, turning to look at him. Needless to say, she’d been just as eager to spend time with our father lately as I’d been.
“I think it goes without saying that we need to have ourselves a conversation,” he said, stopping at the door. It must’ve been his fear of being yelled out or ganged up on that caused him to hesitate, because he didn’t take another step closer. “Do you have a minute?”
“It depends what that minute entails,” Bailey spat back.
Dad finally mustered the nerve to come in. After a few hesitant steps, he made his way to the bed and sat down on the mattress next to my sister. I pulled my legs up close to my chest, careful not to let him touch me. I barely wanted him speaking to me, so physical contact was completely out of the question.
“We need to talk about California.”
“I told you I’m not going,” Bailey said, but she didn’t waste a moment to tack the word ‘yet’ to the end of her sentence. “It’s not fair for you to ask us to leave at the beginning of our senior year, Dad. We still have homecoming, prom, graduation, and Mandy has the RI program. You can’t rip us away from all of that just to take a job.”
“And what about Jones?” I added, eliciting a stare from both Dad and Bailey.
“What about him?” they both asked at the same time, and I sat a little straighter.
“It’s not fair for you to ask Bailey to end her relationship just for a stupid TV role,” I said, and that only made them stare harder. “She really likes Jones, and he really, really, really likes her. No, they haven’t been together long, but what if this relationship is just at the beginning of something that has potential to go long-term? What if you’re just asking too much of her? What if he’s the one she’s supposed to marry? He could be her soul mate, and do you really want to be the one responsible for tearing her away from her soul mate?”
“Since when do you believe in soul mates?” Bailey muttered under her breath, and then her eyes widened as I looked down at my folded hands. “Oh…”
“I just don’t think it’s fair for you to rip us away from all of the things we have going on right now,” I mumbled.
“And that’s what I came in here to talk to you girls about,” Dad said, perking up. “I know you guys can’t see it now, and all you’re seeing is the negative side to moving again, but there’s so much silver-lining to this move, I swear.”
“Other than the fact that you’ll be back on TV,” I said, finally looking at him, “Give me one reason to believe there’s anything positive that could come from this move.”
Dad remained quiet for a few long seconds.
“You know being back in LA will put us right back where we swore we’d never be again,” I said. “You’re being selfish to ask us to go back there.”
“And you’re being selfish by asking me to stay here,” he retorted. “What am I supposed to do? Give up everything I’ve ever worked for? I’d never expect you to give up something you loved. Never.”
“You’re doing that now!” I yelled, and Bailey’s hand landed gently on my wrist. I looked down at her fingers as they squeezed my arm, and a warm sensation tingled on my skin. She was holding me, protecting me, doing everything she could to silently assure me that she wasn’t going to let anything bad happen. I couldn’t remember the last time Bailey had done something that promising, but for a faint minute it felt as though my sister had become my friend again.
“Dad,” Bailey said, looking to him, “have you taken the job?”
“Nothing’s official,” he said. “I told them I needed time to talk to you girls.”
“Perfect. Then let’s be realistic here, okay?” Bailey injected about as much enthusiasm into her voice as she could, but it wasn’t much. “Nothing is set in stone. Dad and I both want to go to California, but I’m not ready yet, and neither is Mandy,” she said, looking up at our father. “So why can’t we just do the simple thing and wait?”
“Meaning?”
“If the guys in LA want you now, they’ll still want you in the long run. That gives us some time to wrap things up here,” Bailey said. “Let’s start in small increments. Six weeks. That’s plenty of time to think, to plan, and to get our thoughts in order. While we’re here, we’ll get to go to homecoming, prepare ourselves for what’s ahead, and really have some time to think this over. Mandy can wrap up her stint with RI and win that scholarship, and then we’ll reconvene and talk about how to move forward from there. Maybe with that amount of time, we’ll all have a clearer idea of what we all want.”
“I’m not going to change my mind,” Dad and I said at precisely the same time, and we watched each other for a long minute, neither of us eager to be the first to break eye contact.
“Six weeks, guys,” Bailey said. “Can we at least agree on that for now?”
Dad’s eyes flittered to the side as he looked out the window, avoiding both of our stares. He didn’t want to wait; he wanted to jump the gun, throwing caution to the wind, regardless of whatever his daughters wanted. But Dad wasn’t heartless, and despite his recent behavior, he wasn’t completely void of emotion. If it meant keeping both of his children from hating him, he’d do it. He just wouldn’t be happy about it, and I knew we’d pay for it in the long run. Dad was bitter, and he held grudges. That’s why we’d ended up in Sugar Creek in the first place.
“Six weeks,” he said. “End of story.”
Bailey and I looked at one another, knowing that a postponement of his plans was the closest thing to a compromise that we’d ever get from him. And that was okay with me. It gave me plenty of time to put a different plan in order, because I wasn’t getting back on a plane to California.
Earlier, sitting on campus with Gabe, I was too quick to give up, to let Dad have his way and accept that things weren’t going to change for the better. But Gabe was right. I had to keep fighting for what I wanted. So it was time to stand up. I’d fight, because I was staying right where I belonged, whether either of them chose to stay or not. I didn’t know how I’d do it, or where I’d even begin to find the resources to make it on my own if I had to, but I’d do it.
There were just some rules that I knew I could never, ever, ever break. Not for anyone. Not even Gabe, and especially not for my Dad. Rule #7: Always look out for number one.
Fourteen
; Thursday evening rolled around, and it was finally time to head to the church for a few hours of volunteering at our soup kitchen. I managed to get through most of the day without thinking of California, my burgeoning hatred for my father, or the constant flutter in my heart sparked by the sheer thought of Gabriel Raddick.
“What are you doing all dressed up?” I asked, eyeing my sister as I walked through the kitchen on my way to the front door.
Bailey was up on the counter, gnawing on the top of a granola bar. Out of her school clothes and dressed in a pink flowered sundress and heels, she looked as though she was ready for an evening on the town. Her hair was styled into a smooth ponytail and bouncing off the top of her head, and her make-up was seriously overdone.
“You know I’m taking the car tonight, right?” I asked, trying to fathom where in the world my sister planned to go looking like that. “Do you need me to drop you off somewhere?”
She shook her head, swallowed the bite of granola, and then hopped down from her spot.
“Nope, I was just waiting on you.”
“Waiting on me for…?”
“A ride.”
“To?
“The soup kitchen,” she said, clapping her hands once to knock the crumbs off her fingers.
“What’s at the soup kitchen?”
“The Raddick Initiative,” she said, holding a finger up before I could interrupt her. “And don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m only going with you because Jones had to bail to cover your shift, and none of the girls were free at the last minute.”
“Okay?”
“So I’m going to spend the evening helping,” she said, shrugging. She studied my suspicious stare.
What was she up to?
“I’m not up to anything,” she said as if she’d read my mind. “I mean, come on, Mandy. Weren’t you the one who gave me that whole load of crap about doing something positive and making an impact for the greater good?”
“Yes, but—”
“But what?” she asked. “Don’t stand there staring at me like I’m naked. It’s not a miracle that I’ve changed my mind.”
Breaking Rules Page 14
