Hide: Part One (The Black Letters Series Book 1)

by Brooke Page

  Mitch gently ran a hand through my hair as he gazed up at the sky. “Tell me more about you,” he whispered.

  “There’s not that much more to say. My life isn’t that interesting.”

  I heard him laugh under his breath. “You’re the most fascinating woman I’ve ever met.”

  “Maybe,” I playfully agreed.

  He laughed again. “Tell me about your reckless years.”

  “Who said they’re over?”

  “You’re such a smart ass.”

  I insinuated being offended, but he knew me better than that. “Tell me about yours.”

  “Well, I’d say they ended when my dad died.” Mitch’s hand stilled in my hair, his chest expanding as he took a deep breath.

  “Losing someone you’re close to sucks,” I murmured, huddling my arms to my chest, feeling the deep hole in my heart that had never been filled.

  “It hit me harder than I ever thought. Losing my parents had always crossed my mind, but you don’t expect it to feel the way it does. There were so many things I wish I could have said to him.”

  “Or wish you wouldn’t have said.” I gulped, my words barely a whisper.

  Mitch rolled to his side, causing me to move as well. He was leaning on his elbow now, deep in thought. “Yeah, I remember saying some really stupid shit to him before he died. He’d always applauded me for being… promiscuous.” He turned his head, a slight hint of shame coming from his face. “Then, for whatever reason, he wanted me to change my playboy ways and settle down like Tyler. I laughed it off, but he got really angry with me for not taking his advice seriously, and I got angry back.”

  I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest, feeling that familiar tightening that would form whenever my pent up emotions began to show.

  “I just wish he knew I actually heard his advice and took it to heart, just not right away.”

  Words escaped me as my own demons were rising inside of me, remembering what Rod stole from my life.

  “Who’d you lose?”

  “What?” I turned to Mitch, startled by his question.

  “You said losing someone you’re close to sucks. Have you lost someone?” His eyes were sincere, patiently waiting for me to open up to him.

  Shaking my head was the only answer I was willing to give him. “I was only saying it figuratively.” I needed to change the subject. While he was baring his heart, maybe he’d be honest with me about my real reason for saying yes to this date.

  “Mitch, I have to ask you something.” He listened, and I decided giving it to him straight was the best way. “Are you hiding drugs?”

  His eyes searched my face then his head dipped low. “That’s why you said yes to coming tonight, isn’t it?”

  I couldn’t lie to him, but only gave him an apologetic look. He sighed deeply. “No. I tried to hide drugs, but I was horrible at it. Eventually Chino got fed up because I could never tell the stupid bricks apart and couldn’t remember where I hid them.”

  As terrible as it was, I let out a giggle, and he shockingly chuckled with me. “My conscious did get the best of me though, so I bailed. Got a nice shiner from it, too.”

  “Better that than a bullet hole,” I teased, although the possibility of that happening was probably high if this crowd were as dangerous as Nathan and Tyler thought.

  “Chino still calls me from time to time, asking me if I want in, but I decline. I know my dad wouldn’t want that. Every time I try to talk to my brothers about it, they never believe me, so I get frustrated, and play along. It’s dumb, I know.”

  “They only care about you.”

  “Yeah, they just have a weird way of showing it.”

  I laughed. “Well, we are talking about Nathan.”

  Mitch smiled, his eyes finding the stars again. “Are you into him?”

  “Who?”

  Mitch gave me a patronizing look. “Nathan.”

  “Honestly, I was before I knew he was gay, and maybe a little after that, but not now. I care about him, but like a brother, not a lover.”

  Mitch nodded, and visibly relaxed. I knew it got to him whenever Nathan and I were close, and I’d used it as a weapon against him a few times. The immaturity of it was embarrassing now that I looked back at my wrong doings. “Why would it bother you if I were interested?”

  Mitch slowly moved his hand to my forearm, delicately tracing the pattern of the fabric to my shoulder. The kind gesture was soothing, making me want to melt into his hand by the time it reached my earlobe. My hair blew in the wind, revealing the side of my face to him. His thumb gently rubbed along my ear, while his other fingers massaged the back of my neck. I couldn’t contain the content sigh that escaped me, enjoying the cherished feeling his touch was bringing me.

  “Because I am very interested in you, Jamie.”

  My eyes fluttered open, meeting the intensity of his gaze. “You don’t want me,” I whispered, my words biting into my own skin, reminding me just how hard my heart had become. My past screwed me up, afraid of what might happen if I got close to someone.

  He pushed up on his other arm so he could look closer into my eyes. “Let me be the judge of that.”

  Looking into his eyes felt too intimate. He was baring everything to me tonight, and my walls were crashing down, shattering beyond my control. I turned my head into his hand, wanting his touch. He moved his thumb from my ear to my jaw, grazing to my chin. The touch I’d craved turned into a slow burn and I gulped, my skin prickling with every slow inch his hand moved. His fingers brushed my cheek, cautiously making their way to the top of my throat. My breath held as the pads of his fingers gently slid down the front of my neck.

  Before they reached my collar, I batted his hand away, moving my hair to cover the exposed area while dipping my head into my knees. The feel of his calloused hand as it traveled down my neck brought back my demons, reminding me how much being naïve and weak destroyed my life.

  The pea gravel underneath us rustled as Mitch stood, wiping the gravel from his pants. “I think there are a few blankets downstairs.”

  I wanted to tell him not to bother, that it was time for me to go home, but I was too shaken and mentally lost in my past. I wanted to lock myself away in a tower where Rod could never infiltrate my head.

  I barely registered when he returned with a few heavy blankets and pillows. He laid them down on the pea gravel, doubling them to make a softer place to sit. I couldn’t move though, my arms firmly wrapped around my knees.

  “That’s better,” Mitch said, letting out a content groan.

  Biting my lip uncomfortably, I glanced back in his direction. He was leaning back on a pillow, his hands behind his neck, legs crossed over one another. His body language was calm and relaxed. Everything I wasn’t. He didn’t press for me to come join him, but began telling me more stories about the stars. It took a few Greek gods before I finally craned my neck toward the sky to see where he was pointing.

  “Jamie, it’d be easier if you were lying down next to me so you could follow my hand.”

  Waiting a moment, I finally crawled toward him, resting my head on the other pillow.

  “Convenient that you have bedding at an unfinished condo,” I murmured as the softness of the blankets and pillow eased my discomfort.

  “I spend the night on-site a lot, and it can be two or three in the morning before I’m finished. It’s easier to blow up an air mattress and pass out. I swear Tony always thinks I’ve been drinking and passed out.” He chuckled as he turned to look at me. “Do you think I normally coax women to rooftops to have my way with them?”

  I hadn’t thought of it before, but I wouldn’t be surprised. He was a womanizer. My stomach sank, wondering if he’d hoped that for me tonight. If I were being honest with myself, earlier I’d secretly hoped it would take that direction. But not now. My scars felt like they’d been scratched raw, and they’d barely come to the surface.

  Mitch reached for my hand, lacing it with his and holding it over his heart.
“I left them downstairs for a reason. I didn’t want you to think I’d planned on seducing you with candles and stars.”

  My voice was scratchy. “I believe you.”

  Mitch slid his arm under my pillow, curling it around my shoulders and pulling me to his side. I rested my head on his shoulder and soon molded into him. My body leaned into his side instinctively as his large hand ran from my shoulder to my back. He hummed in contentment when my body went tranquil, his chin resting protectively against my forehead.

  The wind blew gently, covering our silence under the perfectly lit stars. We were surrounded by beauty, but both painted with our own scars. Mitch showed me his insecurities along with a new side to himself; a side that showed he wasn’t just a cocky asshole looking to get laid. Guilt filled me momentarily as I realized I’d never really let my guard down as he asked. But I was selfishly here, enjoying being tucked to his side among the stars, my body feeling safer than it had ever felt before.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jamie Past, Age 17.

  “I can’t keep covering for you,” Landon said in frustration as he rummaged through his desk.

  “Please,” I begged, “just for tonight. You won’t have to cover for me ever again!”

  It had been six months of sneaking around, and Rod was becoming more and more impatient. No amount of time was enough for him, and if he’d get into one of his moods, he’d flip a possessive switch, intensifying every aspect of our relationship. His actions were taking a toll on me, and I wasn’t sure how much more I’d be able to put up with.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to because I couldn’t give a shit if you were out partying. It’s this guy. He’s too demanding, and honestly, he sounds obsessed. Kevin told me about his run in with this guy at the beach.” Landon turned to look at me, hopefully my big brown eyes would make him cave.

  “He’s just possessive. Landon, I promise I won’t ask you—”

  He cut me off. “Possessive isn’t always a good thing, Jamie. Besides, you said I’d never have to cover for you again two weeks ago. Just tell Dad, or find another work study. Or a new boyfriend.”

  I winced at his bluntness, knowing in my heart what the best option was for me.

  Landon sat next to me, reaching for my hand.

  “This, Jamie, is why I don’t like him. I know he did this to you.”

  My wrist was firmly in his hand, and I yanked at it, trying to hide it under my sleeve. I’d gotten bruises from Rod’s hands holding me down during sex the past week while he was covering the deputy’s shift. I couldn’t see him for three days in a row, and he went crazy, devouring me the second we were alone. He even waited until he was finished to let in a citizen who’d knocked on the door. It was as though his senses were heightened knowing someone was behind the door while he was pounding into me. The way his blue eyes turned icy as he thrust, his grip tightening, was scary, and I didn’t want to upset him again.

  When he was really mad, he’d reach for my neck. That was the most terrifying thing I’d ever experienced, and one I hoped I’d never feel again. He always wanted to use those damn silk pieces of fabric, but I’d find every excuse in the book to avoid them. Sometimes it worked, while other times he’d convince me that it’d be different, that I could trust him, that it would blow my mind. All it did was make me wonder if I’d stop breathing for good.

  “It was an accident.” It wasn’t a complete lie. He’d gently stroked the bruises the next day, apologizing for squeezing me so tight, but telling me it was only because he’d missed me so much and couldn’t contain his passion.

  “I’m about to go into the station and beat the shit out of him.”

  “Don’t,” I begged with wide eyes.

  “See, you’re scared of him. Jamie, he’s not good for you. Tell him to fuck off just like you told Kevin.”

  “Kevin is obnoxious,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “He wouldn’t hurt you. I’m scared, Jay. The only way I’m going to cover for you tonight is if you break it off with this creep.”

  I stared at my finger nails, secretly knowing that was what I needed to do, but didn’t know how. Rod loved me, he’d told me multiple times, and I knew he could be gentle. “I love him, Landon.”

  Landon groaned in frustration. “He doesn’t love you if he’s putting bruises on your wrists.”

  “They were an accident… but I’ll ask him for some space.”

  Landon’s jaw tensed. “Fine, just this once Jamie, and you’d better not come back with as much as a scratch on you tonight.”

  “Stop acting like he’s abusive!” I yelled, repeating in my head over and over that he was a good guy who just had his moments.

  ***

  Landon watched me as I walked into the restaurant. Thankfully, Rod was inside already.

  “There you are,” Rod sighed, standing from the table at the diner. “I missed you.” His arms embraced me, holding me close to his chest. The smell of his expensive cologne was one I’d become familiar with.

  My arms wrapped around his waist, sinking into him. “It’s only been a day and a half.”

  “I can never get enough of you.” He squeezed me tighter, kissing my temple with force.

  My hands found his chest and, as nicely as I could, I pushed him away, finding a seat in the booth. His brows scrunched while he slid in next to me.

  “Everything okay?”

  I nodded, lying to myself and him. He bought it, smiling broadly at me.

  “Let’s eat quickly. I can’t wait to see what you’re wearing underneath those jeans and T-shirt.” He began kissing my ear, but I pushed him back. “Why are you pushing me away?” His voice cracked, but his arms tightened around my waist.

  “We’re at a diner, Rod. One that’s close to town. I don’t like when you’re all over me in public.”

  “I just love you, Jamie. It’s hard to keep my hands off of you.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I mumbled, staring down at my bruised wrists that I’d attempted to cover up with bracelets.

  Rod followed my gaze, moving his fingers to cover them. “You’re afraid.” My head whipped in his direction. “Please don’t be scared of me. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I already told you this.”

  The waitress came to take our orders, and when it was my turn to speak, Rod cut me off, ordering for me. She left before I could say anything.

  “Why’d you do that? I don’t want steak and potatoes. I want a salad.”

  Rod glanced at me, his smile firmly in place. “You’ll need the hearty food for what I have planned for you tonight.”

  “And what if I don’t want what you have planned for me?”

  “You will.” His eyes were turning icy.

  “I don’t want to have sex tonight.”

  “What, you on the rag? Because you’re acting like a real bitch,” Rod snarled.

  “No, I just don’t feel like being dominated tonight,” I hissed back.

  “Fine, then dominate me,” he mumbled, excitement filling his eyes.

  I blinked, not sure how to respond. I never got to take the lead with him, and part of me was very curious. I was supposed to tell him I needed some space, more time away from him, but I was drawn, even when I was annoyed with his possessive antics.

  “When we get back to my cabin, you can do whatever you want to me,” he promised.

  “Your cabin is an hour and a half away. I can’t stay the night—”

  Rod shook his head in frustration. “Jamie, I need to be with you tonight. Please.”

  He reached for my hand, his eyes becoming softer. Kissing it gently, he placed it on his cheek, his eyes closing as though I were offering him solace. Every bone in my body gravitated to him when he acted like this. This was the Rod I loved. Sweet, kind and gentle.

  “Let me call my parents. I think they’ll believe me if I ask them to stay at Bethany’s tonight.”

  He kissed my hand again. “I’d really like that,” he whispered.

  I reached for
the phone, mentally preparing myself to call my mother. With one final nod from Rod, I punched in my mother’s phone number and called to ask.

  “Jamie, didn’t you stay at Bethany’s house last weekend? Why don’t you girls come here?”

  “Because Bethany doesn’t have younger siblings. It’s quieter there, Mom,” I begged, hoping she’d fall for it as Rod held my hand.

  “I understand,” my mother sighed. “I thought you were hanging out with Landon and his friends tonight?”

  “We both were,” I said quickly. “But you know how Landon’s friends can be.”

  “All right, but come home right away in the morning. I want to spend the day with you.”

  I smiled. She always wanted me to feel loved and appreciated among my siblings. “I will. Bye, Mom.”

  A huge breath of air escaped me after I hung up the phone. “I hate lying to them.”

  “You only stretched the truth. Thank you. I need to hold you all night.”

  I melted at his words, relishing the feeling of his hand stroking mine.

  “We’re here,” Rod said sweetly, brushing his hand across my cheek. He held my hand, guiding me to the cabin that his grandfather owned where we’d escaped many times. I pushed away the bad flashbacks, sincerely believing tonight we’d make happy memories.

  Rod guided me toward the couch. “Relax, I’m going to start a fire. Want some wine?” I turned up my nose, and he grinned. “You’re so cute. I forget how young you still are,” he added, kissing my head on his way out.

  I curled into the couch, wrapping myself in the quilt his grandmother made. Rod came back and had a fire lit in no time. Finding his way on the couch, he began massaging my feet, his eyes intently on me.