She swallowed and pursed her lips in thought. I felt bad but I prided myself on being honest about my intentions, about every aspect of my life. And I believed what I was saying. I was married to the Teams. I pledged my life to this job. A hookup with a beautiful woman was my reward for all the ways my career took over every aspect of my personal life. I needed her, I needed this release.
After an uncomfortable pause, she moved in closer and straddled me. “It’s okay, neither am I. Fair catch?”
I loved it when a woman talked football to me. “Fair catch.”
I pulled her under me, pressing myself between her thighs. She gasped and her mouth broke into a smile. The cool breeze from the mountain air seemed almost haunting, the landscape binding us together. My beard scraped her cheek, and I slowly lowered my lips to hers. She was so fucking beautiful. The first time we’d had sex, it had been all about urgency, lust, a desire for carnal knowledge. This time I wanted to take it slow, explore her, find comfort in her embrace. Kissing her was the only time I’d found peace since I’d arrived in this country and I didn’t want our connection to end. I was busy working for the rest of the week so this would be my only chance to steal her away. Come tomorrow, she’d be gone most of the day. And I wasn’t certain that I’d be able to get another moment with her.
She welcomed my kiss, her soft lips kissing me back, gently, her hot tongue exploring my mouth. Her hands clutched my ass, her fingers urging me closer to her, erasing the distance between us.
Pulling back, I reached under her tank top, my right hand cupping her left breast. I focused on the pert nipple and gave it a small pinch, then worked on the other. She had amazing tits. A phenomenal rack. And I fought the desire to yank her top off just for the view. I knew I couldn’t. I wasn’t about to take her clothes off and strip her down naked on top of this bunker, just in case we got caught. Fuck. This was hard. The forbidden element only made our liaison hotter. She arched her back and I rubbed circles around her nipple before giving it a small tug this time. She moaned softly then sucked on my tongue. Damn it. She kept that shit up and I was gonna blow my load before we even got started. “Easy,” I warned, taking a deep breath. “Lie back, baby.” She did as I asked, staring at me through lustful eyes. I stared back, relishing in the beauty that was her body for mere seconds before hooking my middle finger on the hem of her panties, and pulled it back with force. She whimpered, murmuring things I couldn’t quite understand. Using her wetness as lubricant, I slid a finger down her center then added two more, pressing into her warmth. Her lips were smooth; completely waxed. I was dying to lick her, taste her sweetness, but not here, not now.
She lay back on the sleeping bag, and I quickly unwrapped a condom, sliding it onto my length.
“Baby,” I whispered as I rubbed her clit hard and then soft, “you ready for me?”
She nodded yes, arched her back high off the floor, and I slid her pajama bottoms off as I positioned myself closer between her legs. One long thrust in and she gasped. Man, she was so hot and wet. I felt her hot center stretching for me, adapting to my size. Her tight pussy clamped around my cock. She took me like a champ, her sweet moans driving me wild. With one hand gripping her around the waist, I pulled her hips into me, my finger strumming her clit with the other.
“Oh, Kyle. You feel so good. Don’t stop.” She groaned each time I pulled out almost completely then slammed back into her. My own grunts sounded off in time with every little moan she gave. She already looked like she was going to come. Not yet, baby.
I flipped her over and propped her up so she was on all fours. She looked over her shoulder, her eyes heated, and gave me a playful glance. And I pumped my cock deep inside her, my hand prying her legs farther apart so I was still focused on her clit with two soaked fingers. The squishy sounds of our bodies rubbing together only made me want to pound into her more until she came moaning my name. Our rhythm picked up speed, and just as she would beg me not to stop, I slowed my pace.
“Doll, I could do this all night. I’m not gonna stop until you come all over me. But I want to prolong it for just a little while longer. Don’t come yet.”
She mewed in response. Her ass shined in the moonlight. My hand came down across her right cheek. Not hard, but firm enough. She had a serious booty. Round, plump, tanned.
I worked her back into me. I could tell she was closer, her breath hitched, her pussy clenched, her body shook. “Ah Kyle. Make me come.”
I wasn’t done with her yet. I wanted to stare into her eyes, see her body convulse, the look of pleasure flush on her face. I wanted to see the look she gave me earlier, now knowing I deserved it, because I’d put it there.
I reached down. Wrapping a long arm around her middle, I twisted her around again so she sat on me, and fastened my hot mouth on her nipple, licking, sucking, my tongue swirling on the tip for all I was worth.
She pressed into me, swiveling her hips, flipping her hair back, and bit her lip.
“That’s it baby. Ride me,” I encouraged.
With almost a wicked grin, she rubbed deep against me. Her rhythm varied, her legs wrapped around my back. It was as if she was giving me a private dance, the most incredible lap dance I’d ever had. My dick swelled.
“Oh, Kyle, oh, oh, oh, my God.”
“That’s it baby.”
Her pussy tightened around me, her eyelids closed, and she let out a deep moan. I let myself go, cradling her through her orgasm, completely connected to the beautiful woman on my lap.
That’s new.
She gave a final whip back on her sweat-sprinkled hair, and out came a sweet giggle. I pulled her into my arms.
It surprised me I didn’t want to bail the moment we were done. In fact, I was dreading her leaving. As I held onto her, the rise and fall of her chest told me she was still catching her breath. The ruins of war surrounded us, and I couldn’t help but feel our connection was deeper than a casual hookup, that we’d been placed on the same path for a reason.
But it didn’t matter.
Sara could be the perfect woman for me, but it wasn’t the right time. I had to let her go.
8
Sara
He held me tighter than ever before, and I didn’t want him to leave. Kyle had snuck me back into my barracks without rousing a soul, and for that I was grateful. We shared a tender kiss goodbye and he disappeared almost as fast as he’d appeared. After I stared at the window long after he’d left, I slept blissfully, despite a mortar going off in the background in the middle of the night. The next morning, I woke when our director, Denise, rapped at the door. I knew that knock. Could she have banged any harder? Instinctively, I covered my head with the pillow.
Then for a second, my heart stopped—had she known I’d snuck off in the middle of the night? I sat straight up.
“Sara, we leave in ten minutes.”
I took a deep breath; I was paranoid. But I’d definitely slept in. Only my head moved as I stared at the window again. I wondered where on the base was he, and what was he doing? I felt like some love struck teenager. But I knew I wasn’t in love, not even close. I was curious. Kyle was hot, and I craved him. He was like every sexual fantasy I’d ever had coming true. A SEAL. A football player. With qualities I admired. Too bad he wasn’t interested in a relationship. I wasn’t either, but for Kyle, I’d consider making an exception.
I hated being so pathetic and emotionally attached. I was such a cliché. He fucked me just like I liked and I was willing to forget what he’d said. Being with him was a damn pipe dream. Here I thought I was this cool chick in control of my sexuality, able to separate my emotions after sex. But since the night I’d met Kyle in PB, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. I hadn’t even looked at another man. Sighing, I finally stood up and rushed to get ready.
I guess it was a blessing I wouldn’t be seeing him much before we left. Today we were set to tour the next base, and though we’d return here tomorrow night, in five days we’d be back in the States.<
br />
And Kyle would remain here. For Christmas. Sure, at some point he’d return to San Diego, for however long SEALs remained in town before their next deployment. But Kyle had made it crystal clear he wasn’t interested in anything more than a casual “friends with benefits” situation. And I respected him for being honest with me. Most guys would say anything to get laid. Not that Kyle seemed to have any problems in that department.
My door flew open. But it wasn’t my director or Kyle. It was Maya, all done up, hair perfectly curled.
“Damn, girl. You look like shit. Put your face on and I’ll do your hair.”
I hopped out of bed and put on my travel clothes as Maya went to work on my hair. She pulled back a lock of my hair to tease it and gasped.
“Is that a hickey? Oh my god. You didn’t! You hooked up with Kyle!”
I cupped my neck. I didn’t remember him giving me a hickey. How could I have been so stupid. I grabbed my compact and dug into my makeup case and slabbed some concealer on it.
“Sara Elizabeth Michaels. Tell me now.”
“Okay. Yes. I did. Please lower your voice. He snuck me out of the room. It was incredible.”
She just shook her head, clearly disgusted with me. “What were you thinking? I don’t care what you do back home—hell you could go fuck an entire SEAL Team and I wouldn’t give you a hard time. But we are on a tour. Why are you risking your dream on this guy?”
I wasn’t going to argue. I dabbed and dabbed makeup on until the hickey was less noticeable. “Don’t tell anyone. Please? It won’t happen again.”
“Damn straight it won’t. I’m sticking with you until we go home. Seriously, Sara. He’s not worth it.”
I rolled my eyes and reminded myself she was just trying to protect me. I agreed with her, anyhow. That was it. Last time. I would not become his fuck buddy.
I counted my blessings. I was on a USO tour, entertaining our troops who risked their lives for our freedom. How many people could say that? I was a member of one of the best dance squads in the league while still keeping a high GPA. And last night I had the most incredible sex of my life with an amazing man, a hero. I was truly fortunate. The pesky other feelings be damned. Kyle made me feel safe, and I knew that as long as he was in my corner, while I was here, he would never let anything happen to me. That was why I cut him a break. He might not be willing to stick around, but for the short time I was near him, I felt wanted. And that was enough.
9
Kyle
I could still taste Sara on my lips when I awoke the next morning. Images of me fucking her from behind were stored in my head for later use. The way I’d impaled her deeply, until she came all over my cock. She was truly breathtakingly beautiful inside and fine as hell outside. She seemed solid. Non crazy. Sweet. Dared I say, loving. But it didn’t matter. I wasn’t in the market for a girlfriend. Could still dream about her though. Replay our conversations. Memorize every image from last night for when I was alone. And use her calendar photo as my spank shot. Remember the time she had been mine, if only briefly.
I rolled out of my cot, put on my clothes, and prepared to say good-bye to Sara and her squad. If I got stuck on watch duty after today, I might not see her again. That bothered me.
I found Pat waiting outside my room. Damn early riser. Then again, he wasn’t the one that slept like a baby because his world was rocked last night. That pleasure went to yours truly. “How was your night, bro?”
“A gentleman never tells,” I joked. “Let’s just say I’m surprised that bunker is still standing.”
His lips twisted. “Fuck you, man. I miss Annie so much. She saw a picture online of the cheerleaders on the tour and now she’s stressing that I’m gonna cheat on her. I know she’s pregnant and hormonal, but nothing I say seems to reassure her.”
I put my hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, man, that’s rough. But Annie’s a strong woman. And I know you’d never cheat. Tell her I’d put a bullet in your brain first.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t cheat on her. I love her, but being married while in the Teams sucks. I miss her and Gabriel. I hope our deployment doesn’t get extended because I’ll miss our baby’s birth.”
My chest tightened. I felt for the dude. It sucked. But I selfishly felt reassured because his words proved my point that being married or involved while on the Teams was nonstop headaches and heartbreak. Seeing Pat miss Annie confirmed my belief a relationship while I was in the Teams wasn’t right for me. The guilt would eat me alive. And then there was the other downer to relationships. Poor Vic’s whore of an ex-wife cheated on him during one of our first deployments. Tore that boy up. No, thank you. I was good. When I settled down, I wanted to be around. Have a family, be there for my kids, coach my son’s football team, take my daughter to ballet lessons. Pat and Vic barely saw their kids. It sucked big time. I didn’t want to live like that. My father was my hero, an excellent role model, a strong man, a great husband, and a loving father. And until I could be that good of a man, I would remain single. The bar was set high, and I wasn’t about to half ass it. I never half assed anything.
Vic emerged from outside and the three of us headed over to the motor T area. The other guys on my Team were used to seeing us three together, well, practically all the time. Didn’t mean I appreciated the other men any less. We had already been briefed before the convoy was due to leave. Safety, plans for if there were any interruptions, who was in the lead vehicle. All the normal things that needed to be discussed between the leaders of the convoy and the soldiers. Which was communicated with my SEAL Team as we were the quick reaction force, in case there were any problems. The convoy crew had done their pre-combat checks. Made sure everyone had weapons, enough ammo, and the vehicles were topped off. The civilians had been briefed as well. If anything were to happen, they were to stay in the vehicles until help had arrived.
We stared ahead. There were ten two-ton vehicles in the convoy to transport the USO performers. Eight up-armored Humvees and two troop carriers. Sara would be in the third vehicle.
The girls were lined up two by two next to the first troop carrier like they were going on an ark, with the chaperone in the back. The cheerleaders would be in one of the troop carriers, and the players in the other. Two soldiers-only Humvees led the pack.
We decided to assist the soldiers in helping the girls climb on board. Sara noticed me and pushed to the front of the line past a few girls and pointedly gave me a somber look. Immediately, my chest constricted. There went the guilt I feared. Feelings I didn’t know what the fuck to do with hit me like a ton of bricks. My hand lingered on her back for far too long as I helped her into the assigned vehicle. She pressed her body into my chest, the stance a bittersweet memory. Her noticeable breaths coming out choppy, and she imprinted her scent on me. Which only caused my own uneven breaths.
What the hell was going on? I’d see her tomorrow night. Why was it so hard to let her go?
She didn’t look back as Vic loaded the last of the girls into the body of the vehicle.
With everyone safely inside, the drivers turned on the ignitions and the vehicles rumbled to life, taking off around the dirt road. Sand flew through the sky, sprinkling on the vehicles as the guys waved them good-bye. My limbs felt heavy, my hands only managing to form clenched fists, almost hanging lifelessly at my sides.
For a moment I had the urge to run after her, my gut uneasy, a haunting fear I would never see her again weighing me down like quicksand.
10
Sara
Our vehicle rumbled down the dirt road for the next hour, every bump and tremor sending sharp pains through my spine. Afghanistan was a mountainous desert. I’d sat quietly throughout the trip, lost in thought. When we’d left the base, at the last moment, I’d sat up, finally staring back at Kyle. He stood still as a statue while his friends waved enthusiastically, the mountains just past the transportation area serving as a serene but lonely backdrop. He was shutting down. Again. A sob had threatened to escape m
y lips. I sighed and closed my eyes and tried to compartmentalize the situation, starting with reliving every moment I’d spent last night with Kyle. I’d felt safe. Comfortable. Invincible even. But they weren’t enough. One thing I fought was wallowing in those memories. The more I thought about his behavior after, the more upset I became.
My lust and admiration for him now had been replaced by anger and disappointment. Too overcome with nervousness, I’d waited for him to speak. Silently begged him to say anything. He said nothing as I left. Just like he’d done before. Fuck him. I’d done nothing wrong. Fool me once, shame on me. I should have learned. Yet the fresh scorch of rejection burned like hell. I couldn’t stomach what was happening between us.
The first time around he should’ve called me, told me he was going away, even if he didn’t want to tell me he was a SEAL. And now he probably thought after our second hookup I would be grateful to be his fuck buddy whenever he returned to the States. I dragged in a heavy breath. How was it he made me feel so amazing one minute and like utter shit the next?
Fuck that, Maya was right. I didn’t care how amazing Kyle was, or that he was a humble man dedicated to his country. To him, I was disposable. And I deserved more. I didn’t want to be his jump off. Last night I hadn’t been thinking straight. And I refused to be played. No matter how hot the sex. It was about damned time. I had finally seen the light.
Invaluable (The Trident Code Book 2) Page 5
