How she longed to turn into his broad chest, however. To wrap her arms around him and make him see himself as she did.
Once outside, he came to a halt on the sidewalk, turning his cowboy hat in his hands. “You, uh, want to sit down or something?”
“I’m fine.”
He stared across at the courthouse. “There’s a legend, you know, connected to the spring over there, the one Sweetgrass was named for. About a soldier and the spirit of the spring. She saved him, goes the legend, when he was dying. He had to go back to war, and he said he’d return for her, but he never did.”
He was so uncomfortable that she didn’t stop him, didn’t ask why on earth he was telling her that story. Instead she forced herself to wait to find out why he was really here.
He cleared his throat. “You probably don’t want me to now, but I thought a lot about what you said, and I don’t want to disappoint your kids. They’re good kids, and they don’t deserve that.”
Just as she was about to say I don’t deserve that either, he looked at her. “Neither do you. Just because I can’t, uh, be the man you deserve, I…I like you, Chrissy. It’s not you, you know that, right?” His jaw firmed. “You can’t see it, but you’ll be glad one day.”
Of all the nerve.
“Anyway, I wanted to see if you and your kids want to come to my ranch on Saturday. I can take the day off ’cause I never use my vacation. Rissa and Mackey are loaning me a couple of horses, one for the kids and one for you, if you want.” Then he fell silent, waiting.
This would mean so much to Thad and Becky. Even if it made her mad that he was so blasted stubborn about what they could have.
She looked up, and realized he was nervous.
Amazing.
He was trying. It wasn’t his fault that she’d embarrassed herself in front of him. “I’ve never ridden a horse, but I can watch. The kids would love it. Thank you.”
He nodded. “I could teach you to ride, if you’d like.”
It wasn’t what she’d like most, but she shouldn’t be churlish. “Maybe later.”
“Okay.” Another silence.
Oh, this was excruciating, all this politeness.
“Bring your sister if you want.”
“I’ll ask.” Laura might as well come. At least then she’d have someone to talk to. Oh, get over yourself. That’s unfair.
“Does she ride?”
“I don’t know. I’ll ask that, too.”
He nodded.
Another long silence.
He cleared his throat. “I’m not wrong about being the worst person for you to be around, but I’ll be glad to see you.”
She was too weary to argue with him now. Or maybe ever again.
“So…nine o’clock Saturday okay? That’ll give me time to get chores done.”
“That’ll be great.” How she hated this stiffness between them.
He settled his hat on his head. “All right then. I’ll leave you be. And I’m sorry again.”
He waited for her to respond.
She was all out of words. “Thank you” was the best she could manage.
He studied her a little longer, but she couldn’t bear to see what was in those blue eyes.
So she nodded and with a grim smile, turned back to the cafe.
A little while before the kids were due home from school, Laura arrived and promptly dropped the key to her sister’s house, juggling grocery bags as she bent to retrieve it. Muttering, she balanced her purse on one hip and listened to Puddin’ howl on the other side of the door.
When at last she opened it, the dog threw himself at her as if she’d trekked to the Gobi Desert since his last sight of her. “I know, baby, I know. You need to go out?”
She’d gotten far too accustomed to tapping a garage door button and traversing only a few feet from car to kitchen counter. To possessing a large, beautiful yard where Puddin’ could attend to the necessities at his leisure.
Her sister had never been so fortunate, even when she was married. Though she rented this sweet little house now instead of her last grungy apartment, she didn’t have a fenced yard. She was very lucky that the house had been furnished, since all she had to live on and raise two kids on was her waitressing salary. Child support wasn’t something Darren Daniels thought about.
Laura and Jake had offered to take Chrissy and her kids in, but Chrissy was proud and resolute. Now here Laura was, making crowded living quarters only worse.
Maybe if her own marriage was over, she and Chrissy could share a bigger house. She’d have to get serious about that catering business, but perhaps she’d be able to make her sister’s life easier, as well.
The very notion of leaving her home, her nest, was sheer misery. And losing Jake—
Stop. Don’t think like that. It won’t help.
So Laura would lose herself in a time-honored escape from life’s rough passages.
She would cook. She was worn out from a restless night followed by hours at the diner, but she wasn’t going to fall into the trap of napping. Sleep lured her like a lover, but its appeal was of the hiding-under-covers variety, and she had to resist. If her life with Jake was over—dear mercy, how she hoped not—then she had to stay on her feet.
Puddin’ whimpered again. “Hang on, fella. Let me just put this milk in the fridge. There.” She scanned the kitchen she’d already cleaned after Chrissy and the kids had left, the laundry folded and put away. She had in mind to fill Chrissy’s freezer compartment, modest as it was, with some meals to reheat after a long day at work.
She’d prepare them a dinner to remember tonight, as well, and when they arrived, the rest of the apartment would be sparkling.
Maybe Laura couldn’t keep her husband’s interest, but making a home, a refuge—this, she understood. There wasn’t a lot her sister would allow her to do for her, but Laura could stock her pantry and grant her some leisure while she was here.
And it would take her mind off the man who was breaking her heart.
She plucked Puddin’s leash from atop her suitcase. “Okay, boy. Here we go.”
Laura had no idea what her next step should be.
So she would just stay busy until she did.
Jake peered into the mirror at the creases on his face from where he’d gone prostrate on the bed and apparently not moved an inch for hours.
What did Laura see when she looked at this face? Damn, he was getting old. Gray at his temples—yeah, he’d rather say silver, but facts were facts—and not quite the hard, flat belly he’d had for most of his life. He was in better shape than a lot of his colleagues, but the resemblance to the man Laura had married was not as strong as it had been.
He seldom gave a moment’s thought to his appearance these days in more than an I’m clean and everything’s covered sense. He’d been a sharp dresser as a plastic surgeon, since appearances had been crucial to his practice, but he’d happily returned to the blue jeans of his youth after switching specialties. At work he wore scrubs and his white lab coat. Trauma victims cared little for your appearance, only about your competence.
He was older, yes, but he and Laura had a terrific sex life anyway, thank goodness.
Or they once had.
Man, this introspection was killing him. He wasn’t one for navel gazing, for processing his emotions or any of that psychobabble stuff.
But when you couldn’t pin down precisely when you’d last made love to your wife, that had to make a man reconsider. He felt a little as if he’d gone to sleep in one place and awakened on foreign soil, the bedrock of his existence become quicksand.
He wanted his old life back. His old wife—though he was smart enough to wince at that phrase—back.
What about the traveling we were going to do?
Traveling was for retirement, wasn’t it? For when you had nothing better?
The man in the mirror stared at him. And just exactly what’s better than making the person you love most happy?
But first he
had to find her. Get her to speak to him, though how he would do that…
Do you want lessons?
“I wonder, Stel,” he grumbled. The steps he’d tried so far hadn’t worked out so well.
Then his eyes went wide as a notion struck. He crossed to the phone and dialed Chrissy’s number.
“Hello?”
“I have an idea to win over Laura.”
A long pause. “Jake?”
“Well, hell, yes. Who else would it be?”
“You sound…better.”
“I dropped into a dead sleep. Now I’m planning how to get my wife back.”
“You found her?”
“Don’t BS me, kid. She’s with you, I’d bet money.”
“Um, I couldn’t say.”
“I understand I’m putting you in the middle. But I’m crazy about her, even if she did abandon me.”
“Did she? Or was it you who ditched her first?”
“Ouch.” He frowned. “Is that what she believes? Chrissy, I’ve been working my ass off to make a secure life for us.”
“You already had one to envy, Jake.”
“But it was—” What? How did he explain the itch, the uneasy realization that what he’d accomplished hadn’t really mattered? That he didn’t have many years left to do so?
“Jake, I’m not the person you need to discuss this with.”
“But Laura left me. She doesn’t want to talk.”
She laughed. “Don’t be such a guy. Of course she does.”
“So why did she go?”
A hearty sigh. “Men are such idiots. I could have sworn you were different.”
“I have news for you, honey. I am a guy.”
“I guess so, but I just thought you got how to treat a woman. You’re not impressing me lately, though, I have to say.”
If her tone hadn’t been so fond and teasing, he’d take umbrage, but Chrissy was like his own little sister. And she was as close as he was likely to get to Laura at the moment.
“Okay, knock off the insults and help me. This is for her own good.”
“Sadly I believe that, so I’m prepared to rat out my own sister.”
Jake pumped his fist. “Yes!”
“Don’t start the victory dance yet. You have some making up to do. Missing Our Day—are you kidding me?”
“I know, I know. I’m scum, I’m worthless—but damn it, I’ve been putting in a lot of hours.”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Why? Because I’m needed.”
“Laura needs you, too.”
He frowned. “Really?” She was always so in control, so on top of things. Of course she loved him, but…needed him?
Another sigh. “You truly do have a lot of talking to do. Have you not been listening to a word she says?”
“Why does she tell you these things and not me?”
“Jake, if you want my assistance, please don’t keep revealing how dense you are. I mean, you’ve been my model, my hero. These feet of clay are killing me.”
He struggled with temper and didn’t speak.
“Okay, sorry. I love you and I’m not out to hurt your feelings or insult you, but honestly, Jake—you have to pay attention to you two as a couple. The kids are gone. You could be lying in bed together, making love for hours, traveling, doing a million things I may not live long enough to do. You’ve got the money, you’re both healthy and you love each other, but instead of pulling together, you’re drifting apart. Why are you not taking advantage of a situation other people would kill to have?”
“Wow.” He blinked. “I have no clue what to say.” This was so much bigger than he’d realized.
“Listen, I’ve got to get back to work. Anyway, you should be discussing this with Laura.”
“Wait—don’t leave yet. Just—” He raked anxious fingers through his hair. “Look, I have an idea I want to try. Will you help me?”
“Does the idea include ditching your electronics?”
“Ouch. It’s that bad?”
“I’ll refer you to the previous insults. Yes, things are that bad. And of course I’ll help you, you big bozo. If I believed for a second that you didn’t adore her, I wouldn’t lift a finger, but I’m positive you do. Now I really have to go. Text me instead of calling, so she won’t realize who I’m communicating with if she’s around.”
“Chrissy, thanks. I mean it. I owe you.”
“Just treasure my sister the way she deserves to be, okay? Then we’ll be even.”
“I love you, too, kid. You know that, right?”
“I do. Now, scram. Contact me when you’ve got things set up, and I’ll do my part.”
She disconnected.
Jake stood at the window for a long time. How had he not understood what was going on with the woman who was everything to him?
He replaced the receiver, then scrubbed his hands over his face and headed for the shower.
He had work to do. Plans to put in place.
Chapter Eleven
Thad could barely be contained on the drive outside town.
“You know what, Mom? I’m gonna be a cowboy, I bet. Big Theo’s horse is named Goliath and maybe I’m not big enough to ride him yet, but I will be when I’m seven.”
“You won’t be that big when you’re seven, silly. That’s only two months,” his big sister scoffed.
Chrissy glanced in her rear view mirror and tried to catch her daughter’s eye, but Thad was already on to another topic. “I bet he can teach me to rope, too. You know how they twirl that lasso and say yee-hah, Mom?”
She saw Laura’s mouth curve and fought the same impulse. “You have a lot of plans for Deputy Patton, sweetheart. He has a great deal of work on his ranch already, and we can’t be demanding anything. Let’s just wait and see what he has planned, okay?”
Her sister mouthed Deputy Patton?
It was all she could think to do to create some distance between them. It was that or cry.
Or shriek in frustration.
There’s no reason to be frustrated. He’s been clear about his limits, hasn’t he? He wants to be left alone. This day is just him being kind to the kids. Don’t read anything into it.
“Mommy, what if I don’t want to ride a horse?” Becky asked.
“Are you crazy?” Thad wriggled in his booster seat. “Who wouldn’t want to ride a real, live horse?”
This time Chrissy did catch her daughter’s gaze in the mirror. “People have different interests, Thad. She doesn’t have to ride a horse.”
He rolled his eyes, but Becky looked relieved.
“Let’s just see how things go, okay? We don’t know what he has planned, and we don’t want to impose.”
“What’s impose?” Thad demanded.
“We don’t want to be any trouble. Deputy Patton is taking time out of his day, but he has lots of other things to do, so we don’t want to wear out our welcome. We’ll just stay for a little bit, then we’ll go home.”
“But what about the picnic Aunt Laura made? Big Theo would like it a lot.”
She glanced over at her sister. Laura intervened. “We didn’t ask first if a picnic was okay. If he doesn’t have time, we’ll take it somewhere else and have just as much fun, right, kiddo?”
Thad frowned. “Not without Big Theo. Anyway, he wants to teach me cowboy stuff, I know he does.”
But he doesn’t want your mother around for that long, Chrissy wanted to say.
Then they were turning onto the road she’d driven down several nights before. Her mind raced ahead to the barn, to the sight of him that had struck her dumb. All those muscles…the scars, the pain. The torment.
And the way everything had gone so wrong.
If her kids weren’t so excited, she would have cried off and stayed home. But Ruby had decided to come back that day, and Spike had taken Chrissy’s shift. She couldn’t back out now.
“Look, Mom! A horse trailer!”
Chrissy edged around the big pickup hooked to the empty tr
ailer. As she pulled up by the abandoned house to be out of the way, she saw Tank talking to Mackey, who was holding the reins of two horses.
Thad scrambled out before she could catch him. “Thad, stop! Don’t you run over to those horses!”
Tank turned to them, his face so serious. Mackey glanced over with a smile. “Hey, Thad.” He waved at the boy. “Come on over and join us, but walk slowly.”
Then Eric stepped out from the other side of the big bay Mackey had brought. “Hey, Thad. Becky.”
“Hi, Eric!” Thad shouted gleefully.
“Keep your voice down, son,” Tank said. “Let the horses get used to you.”
Chrissy watched Thad walk to him and slip his hand in Tank’s, gazing up in perfect trust. “Was that slow enough?”
Tank grinned and glanced at Chrissy, then back. “I wouldn’t exactly call it slow, but it’s an improvement.”
“Horses get spooked,” Eric explained, all puffed with his knowledge. “You don’t make loud noises with a strange horse around. Or sudden movement. Right, Dad?”
His pride in calling Mackey Dad was evident, even several months after the court hearing that had made him legally belong to Mackey and Rissa. Chrissy had heard all about it, the terrible neglect the boy had suffered before his mother had been killed by her loser boyfriend.
A little shiver went through her. That could have been her. But then she looked at Tank. He’d had no Mackey to rescue him. No one had claimed him or helped him out. Even now he was stiff with Mackey, though they’d grown up together.
Mackey, however, was his usual charming self. He’d cut quite a swath through Hollywood when he’d been a stuntman there, she’d heard. Only a severe injury had brought him back to Sweetgrass. “So this is your beautiful sister, who can cook like an angel. I’m Randall Mackey, but most folks just call me Mackey.”
“I’m Laura Cameron, Mackey. I’m pleased to meet you.”
Mackey’s eyebrows rose. “That’s right. You’re the famous Dr. Jake’s wife. We sure think a lot of him around here.”
Chrissy wondered if anyone else could see Laura’s shoulders tense, but she was all charm and ease as she spoke. “That’s him, all right.” She turned to Tank. “We haven’t been formally introduced, Deputy Patton. Thank you for inviting me to come along.” She put out a hand, which was swallowed up in one of Tank’s big ones.
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