She gasped. “Jake—” If she didn’t get her hands on him, she’d die.
“Not yet.” Those long fingers glided over her belly, up beneath her bra, then around until the hooks were unfastened, her breasts were freed—
Cool night air kissed her flesh as her jeans slid down her legs, her shirt buttons opened—
Then Laura was naked. Outside. In the night.
With no way to know whether they were alone or someone was watching. Never in her life had she felt anything like this.
She trembled with the thrill of it.
Then his jeans pressed to her bare bottom. Laura gasped and squirmed against him. “Jake—” She was nearly whimpering now.
His fingers were everywhere, teasing a gossamer trail over her navel and down—
They slipped inside her, and she lost it. Came violently.
“Good.” His voice was strained but proud. “Remember me. Remember us, Laura.”
She heard the rasp of his zipper, then felt the heat of him against her. He bent his knees, spread her legs. Thrust inside in a long, smooth stroke.
Laura’s breath caught. They both stilled. Jake held her close. “Laura…” Husky, desperate, his voice was so dear that tears sprang to her eyes.
She lifted her arms, first one, then the second. Wrapped them around his neck. She kept quiet, fearing to break the spell.
Then Jake began to move, and all thought fled. Seeking fingers, the scrape of teeth, the lick of his tongue…all played harmony to the driving beat of him inside her, so beloved yet so new. She undulated against him, relishing every second of the shock, the surprise, the forbidden.
“I love you,” he murmured. “Love you so.”
Before she could respond, he fastened his teeth to her vulnerable nape—
She soared and he joined her. Stars burst behind her eyes.
Silence pulsed between them. He turned her into his embrace, and for a long moment they simply held each other. Then he spoke. “Laura, I’m so sorry.” Breathing heavily, he gripped her with near desperation. Buried his face in her hair. “Don’t leave me. You are my love.”
Her throat thick with sobs, Laura leaned back to look at the man she’d adored for more than half of her life. Cradled his face in her hands, and kissed him with all the tenderness in her heart. “I love you, too.” She wrapped her arms around his neck again and held on.
She wept.
And Jake’s broad shoulders shook.
All afternoon Tank had thought of Chrissy, remembered the stricken look on her face.
He headed back to his place in a filthy mood, glad he had chores to burn the misery out of him. He turned into the drive and swore. What was Veronica doing here? His sister hardly ever darkened the door of the ranch, not that he blamed her.
No good had ever come from this soil, this patch of sky.
Except that one day when Chrissy and her kids—
Don’t think about her now. You’ve screwed up for the last time. She was better off, anyway.
His sister’s sober expression alarmed him. “What’s up?” he asked, closing his car door. “Everything okay?”
She nodded, but he could see her nerves.
“Tell me. Is it the kids?”
“Oh, no, Tank.” She approached him. “Everyone’s fine. I’m just—” She bit her lip, and he realized how often she was nervous in his presence.
They were nothing like Chrissy and Laura, that was for sure. “Did I do something?”
She hesitated.
He forced himself to calm and give her time.
She started to reach for him but stopped. He realized how often Chrissy touched him when no one else ever did. He and this woman were related by blood, yet they were set apart by secrets. He wondered if she’d ever told anyone all that she’d endured.
He damn sure never had. Never would.
“Want to come inside?” There had been little place for manners in the Patton household. Chrissy was awakening him to how normal people lived.
“Oh, no—no, I—we just finished dinner. I, uh, I brought you some leftovers if you’re interested, but you don’t have to—”
“Veronica.” Then he made himself touch her, just one hand on her shoulder. “I’m not him. I’m not going to yell. Thank you. I’d love the leftovers. That’s not why you’re here, though, is it?”
She grimaced. “Tank, I love you.” She faced him squarely. “I don’t say that often enough. We need to—that word didn’t get used back then, did it?” She glanced into the distance. “Funny—I say it all the time to my children and Jackson, but I come here and—”
“Yeah. The place is haunted. The past is always hovering.”
“It doesn’t have to be.” At last she touched him, just his forearm. “That’s why I’m here. Jeanette called me.”
“Jeanette?” Then he recalled the waitress watching him with Chrissy. “Oh. Look, I know nobody wants me seeing Chrissy, and I’ve told her I can’t, so everybody just stop worrying. I’m not going to hurt her—”
“No!” His sister’s blue eyes swam. “Nobody’s saying that. I’m sure not.” She took a step closer. “Haven’t you suffered enough? You were the hero. You saved me so many times.”
“I didn’t really—”
“You saved me, Tank.” Her voice hardened with determination. “I know how often you took a beating to keep him away from Mama and me. Don’t pretend you’re not a hero.”
“I’m no hero—” he exploded. “What he was is in me, can’t you see?” He pounded a fist to his chest. “I’m just like him. I’m a brute. That’s why I can’t have her—I’ll never risk her that way. You didn’t deserve his violence, and Mama didn’t either. Chrissy and her children—I have to protect them, and I will, so everybody just leave me the hell alone.” He tore from her grip, but she followed him.
“You’re not him. You never were. Don’t give her up, Tank. She’s exactly what you need. That’s why I’m here, to ask you to give her a chance—give yourself a chance. Please.” Tears thickened her voice, and her hand splayed over his back as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Don’t let him win, Tank. Don’t give up on love. You deserve it more than anyone I know.”
He stood there, his chest aching from how much he wanted to believe her. “I don’t know…” Head shaking he turned to face his sister. “What if I’m right and you’re wrong?”
“I’m not wrong.” Then she faced the old house. “Vernon Patton, I hope you are rotting in hell for what you’ve done to all of us.”
He did, too, he thought as he took his sister into his arms and soothed her.
“Please. Don’t let him win. She’s good for you. Don’t give up now.”
She is good for me. But that wasn’t what he was worried about.
Veronica stayed while he ate the leftovers, and he had the thought that this was what life might have been like without Vernon Patton’s evil. They spoke of nothing and everything: how the kids were doing in school, Beth’s latest wounded creature she had taken in to heal. Abby’s most recent hijinks and Ben’s argument with his dad over whether he needed to go to college when he intended to join Jackson in his business.
“And the flower farm?” he asked. “You’re married to a wealthy man now. You only started it because the ranch was struggling, and you about killed yourself doing it alone after David was gone. It’s hard work. Aren’t you busy enough with your family?”
“I love my flowers, and I loved Jackson when he didn’t have a dime to his name. Brenda is good help when I can get her, though I can’t take her away from Ruby, however much she loves the flower business.” She glanced away. “But I may need to accept the extra staff Jackson is always wanting to hire for me pretty soon.”
“Why is that?”
She looked up at him, eyes sparkling with suppressed excitement. “I haven’t even told Jackson yet.”
“Told him what?”
She beamed. “That I’m pregnant.” Her eyes filled. “I would have tol
d him first, but I was waiting for tonight when we were alone, and then I realized that I want my big brother to know, too, before everyone else in town.”
He closed his eyes. Had to clear his throat. “So you’re happy about it?”
“That we at last get to raise a child of ours together?” She gripped his hand. “Ridiculously excited, even if I’m too old to be having a baby with a son about to graduate from high school.” Ben was Jackson’s natural child, too, but he’d left town before he’d known about Ben and had only returned last year.
“You had him so young, you’re hardly ancient. And you’re an amazing mom. I’m really happy for you, Sis.” His throat got a little tight.
“I want that for you, too, Tank. You’d be a good dad.”
He froze. “Chrissy says the same, but …no. I’ll never risk it.”
“Tank…” She wouldn’t release his hand. “You’re not him. Vernon Patton would never have done for me what you did. And I’ve seen you with my children. I saw you with Chrissy’s kids, too. You’re exactly the kind of man a child needs to raise them. You won’t be like him. You know what to watch for, even if you possessed the slightest speck of him. But you don’t, Tank.” She squeezed his fingers hard. “You don’t.”
“I don’t know how you can say that. I’ve been a bastard to the whole town.”
“You had no one to raise you to kindness, no one to show you how to become a good man, yet I see how hard you’re trying to protect Chrissy. I remember how you helped Rissa and Mackey get a chance to take Eric in. You’ve tried to protect me and my family by staying away, but we don’t want that. Please, Tank. Stop holding yourself apart. Can’t you just take things a day at a time, simply have a little fun and see how things go?”
“They’ve already gone too far, Vee. I can’t stop thinking about her. They came out here for a picnic, and…” He cleared his throat. “I took them to my tree.”
Her brows rose. Only he and she had known about his refuge. “That’s good. That’s so good, Tank. Please just let her in. Don’t kill this before you have a chance. You deserve so much more than life has given you.”
“I don’t—”
His sister put her hand over his mouth. “Don’t say it. You’re wrong, and maybe she can make you see it, if you’ll just give her a chance. Promise me you’ll try, Tank. I’m begging you.”
“I don’t know…” He wanted her to be right so damn bad, but—
“That’s okay. I do.” Then her smile was soft and sweet. “I have to go help Jackson wrestle the wild things to bed before I drop my bombshell.”
“He’ll be glad, won’t he?”
“He’ll be over the moon.” She was glowing now. “Will you come to lunch on Sunday after church? Bring Chrissy and her kids?”
He hunched his shoulders. “I don’t know, Vee…”
She placed both palms on the table and stared him down. “If you don’t call her, I will.”
He jolted. “You wouldn’t.”
Her brows rose. “To give my big brother a long overdue chance for happiness? Bet me I won’t. You’ll lose, I promise you.” Her smile went soft. “Do it for me, Tank, if you won’t do it for yourself.”
He walked her out and said his goodbyes.
And stood watching for a long time after she left.
Did he dare? Nothing had ever scared him more, he was almost certain.
So after I get my sister kidnapped, are you going to arrest me?
The staged kidnapping was tonight. He fingered the handcuffs that were attached to his utility belt.
And smiled.
Yeah, he was scared, all right.
But maybe he’d just pay Miss Chrissy a visit.
When Laura awoke, she and Jake were tangled together as they once had been every night.
But this time Jake was staring, as if memorizing every cell of her. His eyes were sorrowful. Serious, even when he smiled to greet her. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Her voice was hoarse. He’d made her scream, actually scream. She stroked his jaw. “You all right?”
“I’m not sure. You?”
She felt shy and awkward, so she dodged. “That was amazing.” She blinked. “What got into you?”
“You have to ask?” He covered his own discomfort with a grin.
Jake was no more adept at discussing his feelings than any other man, but she couldn’t allow that, not now. Too much was on the line. “I do. Talk to me, Jake.”
He glanced away, then back. Frowned. “What’s happened between us, Laura? Were you really going to leave me?”
“I didn’t want to. I just couldn’t figure out what else to do.”
“Because of Our Day? I told you I was sorry. I sent you roses. I said I’d clean up the mess.”
“You did,” she said, her voice as heavy as her heart.
“What’s wrong? You didn’t like the roses, did you?”
She raised the sheet, clutched it to her chest.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Hide from me.” He pulled her back down, shoved the sheet away. “This is me, damn it. We don’t conceal ourselves from each other—at least, we never used to.”
“Once we didn’t do lots of things—” She halted.
“Keep going. Like what?”
Then she got mad. Sat up, scooted around to face him. “We didn’t spend most nights apart. Sleep in separate beds.”
“We do not.” He sat up, too.
She poked him in the chest. “What do you call the couch in the study, huh? Do you have any idea how many times you haven’t come to bed?”
“I was trying not to disturb you—”
“You jerk.” She leaped from the bed. “I never rest without you. I don’t like sleeping alone.” She started pacing. “You used to be married to me, not the ER.”
“What?” He followed her. “You’re kidding me. Laura, I’m just doing my job—”
“You had a job! You left it—left me. Flipped our lives upside down. You turned into an adrenaline junkie, and pretty soon, you didn’t need me anymore.”
He recoiled. “Is that what you think?”
She shoved her hair back from her tear-swollen face. “You weren’t like this before. I just don’t understand why I keep coming up short to your new mistress. What your work gives you that I can’t.”
He stood in the center of the room, gaping at her. “Laura, you understood why I made the switch.”
She shook her head. “No. We had plans, Jake, dreams we’d talked about for years. All of a sudden you’ve sold your practice, and despite the fact that we have plenty of money, you don’t choose to spend that time with me after all. Instead you decide to go into trauma, where you’ll never have to see me.”
“That’s not fair. I love you. Why would I avoid you?” He closed the distance. “I don’t spend much more time away than I did in my practice, it’s just different hours.”
“You’re wrong. You’re gone all the time, and I’m—”
“What?” He clasped her arms. “Lonely?”
She blinked hard. Tried to get away.
He wouldn’t let her. “You’re missing the kids, aren’t you? They kept you incredibly busy, but now the nest is empty.”
She poked his chest. “Don’t you patronize me. I don’t need my kids to make me complete.” She glared. “And maybe I don’t need you, either.” She yanked away.
But Jake sensed that he had to keep her near, maintain physical contact in order to work through this.
“Let me go. I’d like to get dressed.”
“That’s not a good idea, babe.”
“Release me, Jake.”
“No can do.” Instead he swept her up, carried her not to the bed but to a big overstuffed rocking chair in the corner.
She fought him a little, but he had the size advantage and used it. “You want to talk? Fine, but you’ll stay right here to do it.”
“Then I’m getting dressed.” She hunched in his lap.
<
br /> “What?”
“I don’t like being naked with you.”
“What?” He was honestly shocked. “Why?”
She kept her eyes cast down. “I’m not pretty anymore.”
“Get real.” He chuckled. “Of course you are. Beautiful as ever.”
“Don’t make light of this.”
The pain on her face wiped away his smile. He couldn’t let her put distance—or clothing—between them again. He was forced to peel her open, though, curled like a shrimp as she was. “Laura, I have watched you give birth to our babies, I’ve held your hair while you tossed your cookies, I’ve been naked with you in nearly every way possible, and I just made love to you—pretty fiercely, I might add—when you were only a few minutes younger than you are now. What on earth do you possibly have to hide from me?”
“I don’t know.” She kept her arms wrapped tightly around herself. “I just don’t—I wish I were still young and everything was smooth and taut.”
He cuddled her and started rocking. “You think I don’t feel the same about myself?”
She snorted. “Guys don’t sag this soon.”
“Laura, I loved you young and I love you—”
Her head lifted. Her eyes narrowed. “You weren’t going to say old.”
“Of course not.” He hazarded another grin. “Do I look stupid?” When her mouth twitched, he had the urge to celebrate, but they weren’t nearly through yet. “Stella says I’m a fool. And not indispensable.”
No reaction.
“I never believed I was. I just liked—” He puzzled over it a minute. “Being needed.”
“Yeah,” she said.
He glanced down. “I never thought you needed me, not really.”
Her eyes went wide. “What?”
“Sweetheart, you’ve been juggling a house and kids and husband and pets and every committee known to man—you take my breath away at all you tackle and how easy you make it seem. You’re the most capable person I’ve ever met.”
“Really?”
“What on earth have I been doing that you don’t realize that?”
“But you’re the one who has the tough job. Even before trauma.”
“Are you kidding me? I have nurses and administrators and techs—there’s a whole team to support my every move. You tackle the world single-handed and whip it into shape daily.”
Texas Strong Page 20
