I opened the file and flipped through it. "Why are you showing me this? Are you wanting me to play second for Ansley on the procedure?"
"No." He turned to me, and I could see her stiffen out of the corner of my eye. "I want you to take the lead. It will be right before you go, but I feel like it's a good surgery for you to show us a few of your new techniques on."
"This is not the time to show and tell, goddammit it," she bit out as she banged her fists on the desk and stood up. "You're playing with fire."
"This is pretty routine for me, Ans." I glanced up at her.
"Doctor Crawford!" She glared down at me. The woman who had laid out on a desk, begging for my touch, my aggression, my dick was all but gone.
"Ansley. Stop it." Nolan stood up, and his voice boomed around the room. "You're dismissed."
"Nolan." I stood up, not wanting this to be a pissing contest. I was just starting to get somewhere with the beautiful girl. Fuck.
"No. It's good. Parks can take the lead and Henry can second him." She turned on her heel and walked to the door.
Nolan's turn to hit the desk. The sound of him pounding down on it caused her to jump as she stopped by the door. "You will take the second on this, or you'll turn in your goddamn badge. Do you hear me? You don't run this fucking hospital. I do."
Everything inside me screamed for me to drag his big Superman ass over the desk and pound him until he couldn't breathe, but I knew what that would do, and even more so, she wouldn't appreciate it in the slightest. It would be for naught.
"Yes, Doctor Reigns." She kept her back to us, her head lifted. She opened the door and walked out.
"Fuck." His head dropped, and he let out a long sigh as I dropped down in the chair behind me.
"I know this shit isn't my place to say, but you two are fucking up the vibe in this hospital. It's being felt everywhere." I grabbed the file and got up. "I'll do what you ask for the next three weeks, but after that, I'm outta here. No one can grow, much less breathe, in such a hostile environment. That includes you and Ansley."
The sadness in his eyes made me feel like a piece of shit when he glanced up. "I still love her."
"Well, you should have thought about that before you fucked her over." I walked to the door. "Let me know if you need anything else related to the surgery. I'll be there and will take the lead or the second. Whatever you guys decide."
She was waiting out in the hallway, her back pressed against the wall, her expression tight with anger. "I hate him."
"I know you do." I moved to stand in front of her. "You know how bad I want to touch you right now?"
"Don't." She glanced down. "I can't do what we did yesterday. I'm not someone who sleeps around. I've been with Nolan. That's it."
"And now me." I reached out and brushed my fingers down the side of her face. "You need to move to another hospital."
"You don't get to tell me what I need to do." She was pulling back.
"True. But... you do owe me dinner tomorrow night. No getting out of that." I winked. "I'll see you in the OR, Doctor Crawford. We'll figure this out."
"Fine. Dinner, but you're not picking me up."
I walked down the hall as a smile lifted my lips. "Can I trust you to show up?"
"Maybe." Her voice softened a little.
"Still after that spanking, I see. Such a bad girl." I turned to watch her as I walked backward.
Fuck me for wanting more than I'd ever get from her.
Fuck her for possibly agreeing to give it.
Chapter 14
Ansley
"You need anything else?" Parks stuck his head in my office as I was wrapping up a report on our surgery that afternoon. He looked so damn good. Happy and full of life.
"No. See you tomorrow." I turned my attention back to my file, hoping he would leave.
"You wanna grab something to eat? It gets lonely in this big ass city."
I laughed and glanced up, hating how much he affected me. "You're from New York."
"A small sliver of New York and we both have to eat." He shifted his backpack on his shoulder, causing the thick muscles of his chest to flex. I let my eyes move over to his tattoo sleeve as a shiver ran through me. He was so fucking fine without his clothes on. I had no question as to why every woman in the nearby vicinity drooled over him. I did too, I just hid it well, or I hoped like hell that I did.
"No, but thank you. You're forcing me to go to dinner tomorrow night. That should be more fun than I can handle in a week." I winked and picked up a file. "I have to finish this stuff up."
"Alright, but don't say I didn't try." He slipped his hands into his pockets. "Enjoy your night, Doctor."
"You as well." I kept my eyes on the papers below me even though the urge to throw caution to the wind grew like flames in a massive fire inside of me.
He walked out, and I turned my attention to him, enjoying the view of his ass in his scrubs. I wanted to see it bare and wet from a hot shower. Lust danced in my stomach, and the desire to touch myself took me hard and fast.
"No. Stop it," I barked.
"Talking to yourself, Ans?" Nolan stopped at the open door and leaned against the door frame. The expression on his face said that he was after reconciliation, but I wasn't ready for that just yet.
"Always." I shrugged and leaned back in my chair. There was a time when seeing him would have caused my heart to skip a beat, but that obsession with the hottest doctor in Boston General was long over. Not to mention that a few better-looking men had moved in since. "I'm the only one that truly agrees with me. Saves me a fight a day at least."
He snorted and walked in, closing my door behind him. "Come get dinner with me."
"Not a chance." I wrapped my arms around my chest. "I'd rather eat alone."
"Ouch." He sat down and let out a long sigh. "I deserve that."
I shrugged. "Not sure what you deserve any more. What do you want? I'm leaving soon."
"Alone?" He lifted his eyebrow.
"None of your fucking business." I kept my tone even, but the same anger that always burned brightly when he was around roared to life. I was going to die young if I didn't find a better outlet for my rage and disappointments. Fucking Parks would help, but that would lead down a road I wasn't ready to traverse.
He nodded. "That's a true statement."
"What do you need, Nolan? I'm really not in the mood to sit here and chat with you."
"Ans."
"Ansley." I leaned forward and pressed my elbows to the desk. "We're not lovers. You're not my husband, and you're sure as hell no friend to me."
"I don't see it that way."
"I don't care what you see. Tell me what you need me to do that's related to the hospital or get out. It's not in my contract to be friendly."
He smiled, not affected at all by me from what I could tell. "Listen, I wanted to explain why Parks is taking the lead on this surgery in two weeks."
I held up my hand. "I don't care. He can have it."
"Let me finish," he bit out. I nodded and pursed my lips. I was too weary to take on another fight with him. "If something happens in that surgery and anything goes wrong, you could lose your license. It might seem insanely foreign to you, but I wouldn't let anything happen to you. This isn't a surgery that you want. Period."
"So now you're protecting me from saving lives just in case I fuck up?" I tilted my head to the side and studied him. How in the world had I allowed myself to stay with this fucker for nine years? And it had been a good nine years for the most part.
"Exactly. You mean a lot to this hospital, and a lot to me."
"Right. Well, thank you for the big brother protection, but the last time I checked, I'm the best damn neurosurgeon in this area. I don't need you or anyone else taking opportunities from me." I stood up, feeling so small sitting in front of him. He was a mountain of a man, and that used to be one of the most attractive things about him. Now he felt like a bully.
He stood too. "I would never take an
opportunity from you, Ansley."
"You took the chance for me to have kids away." I pressed my hand to the desk. "I'm not sure anyone will ever be able to top that one. It sorta takes the fucking cake, don't you think?"
"I don't want to do this with you tonight. I told you that I'm sorry. I can't take back my selfishness, but I can work to make it up to you." He acted as if he was going to move around the desk to my side.
"Don't you dare come near me." I gave him a warning look. "I'm not interested in anything you have to offer."
"You have to be lonely. Come home with me tonight. We haven't been together for a week or more. I need you." He reached across the desk and brushed his fingers over the top of my hand. "Let's share a bottle of wine and take a long bath together. I'll wash your back and take my time making you feel good."
I pulled my hand back. "No thank you. I'd rather eat cold pizza, take a lukewarm shower and fuck my vibrator, but please... find you a horny nurse and have a good time. Move on."
"Have you?" He pulled his hand back like he'd been burnt.
"No. I'm not interested in anything but my career."
"Not even kids?" He lifted his eyebrow.
"That, like everything else related to me, is none of your business. Get out if you don't have hospital business to talk about. I'm serious." I ran my hand down my face, suddenly so tired. I should have left with Parks. Dinner and a few laughs would have beat having to talk to Nolan any day of the week.
"I can get the vasectomy reversed."
"I'm leaving if you're not." I gathered my things and walked around the desk.
"Ans." He reached out and grabbed me, tugging me closer to him. "You know that I still love you. This fighting bullshit between us is there because of the passion that exists. You still love me too."
"No. I don't." I pulled away and walked to the door. "Good night, Doctor Reigns."
"Night," he whispered.
I walked down the hall feeling like my life was nothing more than a series of fucked up events. I needed a vacation or a break or something. Anything to get away from the past and ignore the future.
A red rose and a note awaited me on the hood of my car as I walked up. A few residents were talking about it as they passed me. I ignored them, not interested in the musing of young doctors with no clue of the sacrifices soon to be demanded of them.
Nolan?
I picked up the note and the flower and got in the car before unfolding it. The handwriting was horrid.
Tomorrow night at Bell'antre. 6pm. Don't be late, or I will come find you. ~ Dr. Feelgood.
A laugh bubbled up out of me at the name he used to sign it. How tired was he of being the medical fields’ top playboy? Maybe not at all. Maybe he enjoyed it.
The passionate man that made love to me in my office wasn't a playboy or a boy at all. He was a man who seemed to know exactly what he wanted. Perhaps that was just all part of his charm. Sure felt that way as I pulled out of my parking spot and headed home.
The thought of calling Gwen or Aiden sat heavy on me as I parked outside my house and walked up to the door in the darkened silence. Nolan was right about one thing.
I was lonely. It felt like everyone's lives were moving forward but mine. Maybe it was my fault, but I didn't think so. Nine years of marriage and being deceived the whole damn time took some getting over.
After turning on a bunch of lights, I found my favorite bottle of wine and poured me a glass. There was cold pizza in the fridge calling my name. I'd down a few pieces and follow through with my nasty remarks to Nolan.
Lukewarm shower.
Vibrator.
It was a routine of sorts and one of the only things that remained steady in my life.
Chapter 15
Parks
I somehow got jerked to the ER for most of the day, which was a good break from Ansley, but not one I wanted. Seeing her upset the day before over Nolan had me wanting to cheer her up, which was odd as fuck. I was breaking my own rules, and it hadn't been more than a week and a few days.
Had Aiden known that I would fall for his sister? Had I fallen for her?
No. No way.
I pulled into a flower shop near the restaurant and got off the bike. I couldn't remember the last time I'd bought a girl flowers, but I wanted Ansley to feel special - different. I wasn't sure how the night was going to go, but I was going to push the buck a little. We would most likely never be anything because both of us had too many fucking hang-ups, but if she wanted kids... I could help there. She could have a safe place to land with me. I'd never give up her secret, and somehow, I'd talked myself into the fact that I'd be okay with getting her pregnant and walking.
Something deep inside of me felt unsure, but fuck it. I was going to offer at least.
"Hi there. Can I help you with something?" A young feminine guy walked out from a large bouquet of roses.
"Yeah, sure. I'm looking for some flowers for a date tonight."
"What message are you trying to send?" His expression grew serious.
"Um, not sure what you're asking."
"Flowers send a message. Red roses are for lovers, white and yellow for friends." He reached out and took a long-stem pink rose from a vase. "Is this for your mother, your sister, a friend, a funeral, or a woman you're hoping to bed?"
I snorted. "Wow. All that can be said with a flower?"
"Of course. Actions speak louder than words, and flowers whisper more powerfully than actions." He shrugged. "Doesn't everyone know this."
I laughed at the kid’s bravado. "I'm not sure. I'll take the red roses, and slip in a few white ones. I want this woman in my bed, but I'd like her friendship as well."
"Complexity. I like it." He turned and busied himself with putting together the bouquet for Ansley.
I pulled out my phone and checked for messages. Nothing other than a few girls trying to see if I was free for a long night of fucking. My insides grew cold at the life I'd created for myself. Had I really thought that fucking my way through life would be enough?
Yes. It was more than enough. Disgust rolled around in my stomach, but I forced my thoughts in a different direction. Dinner wasn't all I wanted from the beautiful woman who'd turned my shit upside down. I wanted a night exploring her body. I needed to hear her come again, to feel her body tense against mine.
"You alright?" The guy walked back out.
I didn't realize I was panting as my body grew hard and my heart raced. "Oh yeah. Sorry. Just have asthma."
He smiled. "Alright. Let's get you rung up."
I paid the guy, thanked him and drove to the restaurant with the flowers balanced in one of my hands. I was worried the wind was going to rip the petals off the damn things, but I luckily made it to my destination without too much trouble.
The pretty girl at the hostess stand was wearing a black see-through top and tight slacks. Any other time I would have taken the time to appreciate how good she looked, but I wanted nothing but Ansley. I glanced over at the table as I followed her.
She wasn't there yet, and I was ten minutes late. Fuck.
"You have someone meeting you, I guess?" She moved back and smiled down toward my flowers.
"Oh yeah. Doctor Ansley Crawford. Tall, long black hair, beautiful woman."
She laughed. "Excellent. I'll show her this way when she gets here."
If. I sat down and tugged on the button-down shirt I had on. I hated like hell to dress up for a date, but Ansley was the type of woman who deserved it. No jeans and a t-shirt for her. I pulled out my phone again and checked it.
"Stop it. Shit." I growled and dropped the phone on the table in front of me. Why this woman left me feeling so needy was beyond me. I had to get over it. I was leaving in three weeks. Period.
The waiter came by, and I took a risk and ordered a bottle of wine. The chances of her showing up were growing more and more slim as the clock ticked by. Thirty-five minutes after I told her to meet me, I started to get up.
"Are you lea
ving?" Ansley stood in front of the table, the silky black dress she wore leaving very little to the imagination. My body screamed in delight as I ran my eyes down the full length of her.
"Fuck no," I whispered and got up to pull her chair out. "You're late."
"I wanted to get in trouble. I figured being late was the easiest way to do it." She sat down. Her movements were elegant, controlled. She made me want to be a better man.
"Well, you're on the right track for sure." I moved over and took my seat before offering her the flowers.
"Red for lovers. White for friends?" She lifted them toward her cute button nose and breathed in deeply.
"I want to be both." I pulled my napkin in my lap and leaned back as the waiter scurried over to fill Ansley's glass with wine. I waited until he left to catch her attention again. "I want to talk about something in a little while, but I don't want you to be upset with me when I do, okay?"
Much to my surprise, she nodded. "Alright. I'll play along tonight."
"Good." I picked up the menu. "Let me order for us unless you're picky. I love food. I'll get a few things for us to share. You'll love it."
"I like the sound of that." She lifted her glass to her lips and took a sip. "How was the ER today?"
"Busy. Bloody." I set the menu down and moved closer to the table. "And the OR?"
"About the same. I think Henry missed you." A hint of a smile played along her mouth.
"You have no idea how fucking beautiful you are, do you?" I reached out and took her free hand, running my fingers over her knuckles. "I wanted to put a fist in Nolan's face the other day for upsetting you."
"Thank you. On both accounts." She pulled her hand back. "He's always going to upset me. He ruined my youth and stole a few promises from me."
"You're still young, Ans. You have a shit-ton of life ahead of you."
"You have such a way with words." Her smile lifted but didn't reach her eyes.
I laughed. "I just feel like I can be myself around you."
"Oh yeah? And who is the real Jacob Parker?" She took another sip of her wine and studied me.
Doctor Feelgood: (A Bad Boy Doctor Novel) Page 9
