"Please?" I mumbled as the first orgasm hit me.
He drove into me harder, and the look on his face that screamed pleasure and fulfillment was far more than I was prepared to handle. I wasn't going to fall in love with him in the future. I was already headed down that dark tunnel, fast.
He moved down my body as he continued to fuck me, licking and sucking at my nipples as he grunted sensually against my damp skin. I ran my hands through his hair and tugged a little here and there, just to hear him growl at me.
His body fit deliciously tight inside mine, his hands greedy and mouth demanding as he moved back up and kissed me until I was dizzy again. He had far too much emotion locked up inside him for me to handle a whole night with him. I didn't seem to have a choice, though.
He moved back and smiled down at me. "Roll over. I want to see your ass while I take you."
"Mmmm..." I rolled onto my stomach and lifted my ass into the air as his fingers bit into my flesh, and he impaled me.
We both cried out, and I let myself go. He wasn't a stranger, but a lover. That decision was made between the two of us to forgo the pleasantries and dive in deep.
I wanted it. Needed it.
And he took it. Over and over and over again.
****
I woke up the next morning in his arms, his body wrapped tightly around mine. I hadn't meant to spend the night, but weariness had left me no choice the night before. His hunger was almost insatiable, and after coming three times, he finally pulled me down to lie against him. The soft praises and sweet kisses melted my heart, and left me waking with the stark realization that I'd made a mistake.
I was going to fall head over heels in love with a man who wasn't willing to give his future to anyone but the hospital. What was worse was the fact that I completely understood. I wanted to give myself fully to my career as well. I wasn't interested in trying things out with anyone.
After carefully slipping out of bed, I dressed and called a cab, grateful that the damn thing showed up before Aiden even so much as turned over.
I couldn't help but glance back as I opened the front door. His bedroom was in my direct line of sight, and seeing him there, laid out and looking like a god, I knew I was lost.
The mid-morning sun warmed my back as I carefully closed the door and turned, jogging to the car. I could explain to him later why I’d needed to go. I would make something up about my mother if I had to. There was no way I was letting him see me as weak. He didn't need to know that I had doubts about separating my heart from my body. That was something that I could work through on my own.
I checked my phone to see that Steph had called ten times over the course of the night, and I kicked myself. I should have called her back and told her my plans. She was probably worried sick. We lived in a shitty part of town, and she always assumed the worst anyway.
After buckling up, I dialed her number, and she answered on the first ring.
"Where the fuck are you? I've been worried sick," she barked into the phone.
"I'm sorry." I ran my fingers through my hair. "I had too much to drink at the event last night, and I slept on Aiden's couch. Forgive me? Please?"
"Fine, but I'm not happy with you. Where are you, and did anything happen between you guys?"
I pressed my fingers to my forehead and tried to decide how much I should divulge.
"I'm your best friend, Elizabeth. I have been since we shit in diapers. Did you sleep with him?"
"I'll be home in about twenty minutes. I'll tell you all about it then, but no... unfortunately not. He's pretty strict on that stuff."
"Not even a kiss?" She grumbled under her breath.
"Yes, a kiss, but we were both a little out of it." I hated lying with a passion, and yet I couldn’t chance anyone finding out about me and Aiden. It would cost him his job and me my residency. Nothing was worth that.
Another reason why this is a fucking mistake.
"Alright, well, I'm headed into the hospital to pick up an extra shift because Dr. Mendom wants me there. I still don't see how it's fair that you ended up with the hottest guy in the whole damn city, and I have this crotchety old bitch riding my back all the time."
"Aiden is not the hottest guy in the whole city. I thought that was Parks." I pulled the phone from my mouth and leaned up toward the cab driver. "Third building on the left up ahead."
He nodded, and I returned in the middle of Stephanie's rant about Parks not giving her the time of day.
"Alright. We'll work on him." I got out of the car and started to tell her that I was there at the apartment and hanging up.
"No, you take Parks. I want Aiden. You're not interested, right? The kiss was an accident."
"Right. Let's think this through, ok?"
She cut me off. "There's nothing to think about. Aiden is more my type of guy, and honestly, Parks is head over heels for you, Liz. You know it."
"He is not. I've been there for a week, and you're overreacting." I walked up the stairs to the apartment and opened the door to find her pacing in the living room.
She turned and pulled the phone from her ear. "If Aiden’s not important to you, then help set me up with him."
"He's not going to date someone from the hospital, Steph. Shit." I chucked my phone onto the couch, starting to lose my patience with her. She jumped from guy to guy almost like most people changed underwear. I couldn't tell her about Aiden, but I sure as hell wasn't going to placate her with the idea of me working to get the two of them together. It wasn't happening.
"Why won't you do this for me?" She stopped behind me as I walked into my room and slammed the door in her face.
"Go away, Steph. I'm not doing it."
"Fine. Then I'll do it my damn self." She hit the door, and I listened as she stormed off.
"Great. Fucking go for it. He's an incredible lover, just in case you were wondering." I reached up and pulled my pillow over my head. I'd promised myself that I wouldn't get involved in the drama that most hospitals had pumping through them, but here I was, slam in the middle of it. It would be the most scandalous thing those people had seen in eons.
Too bad it wasn't going to last. Things like that never did.
Chapter 15
Three weeks later
Aiden
I hadn't let her spend another night at my house. Waking up alone was too difficult to do. I wanted to be the type of man who could rest on lust alone, but it was a lie. We had messed around a bit in my office off and on, but hadn't had sex since that first night.
A large part of me wanted to tell her that I would simply help her with her finances because I cared about her, and because I wanted to see her succeed more than anything. She was brilliant and had quickly stolen the hearts and attention of most of the staff in the neurology ward, mine included.
I glanced up from my desk as Peter filled up the door to my office.
"You doing okay? I heard you had a rough time in the operating room this morning." He walked in as I motioned him to do so.
"Yes. I guess." I got up and walked around him, closing the door. We'd been together for all of my career, and I needed advice. I was starting to feel the burden of falling in love with Elizabeth, and wanted to move from lust to love with her, but that would require sacrifice from one of us. I couldn't be her mentor and have her as my woman. It wasn't accepted, not even for me.
Peter sat down into the chair in front of my desk and crossed his legs as he watched me. "Well, as long as this isn't about you packing up and leaving me, I'm good with talking about anything you need to get off your chest. We've been friends for a long time."
"Friends. Is that what we are?" I had to know where I stood before I started the conversation about Elizabeth. No one knew how I felt about her, least of all her. I'd done a damn good job of keeping myself in check, though it was impossible when she was on her knees in front of me or sitting in my lap as I ran my hands over every part of her. Love was so incredibly present in those moments that it left m
e aching for something more than the future I'd planned and set in motion.
"Absolutely. Do you feel differently? Have I done something to upset you?" Peter's words were filled with concern, but his expression remained calm.
"No. Not at all." I dropped down in my chair and let out a long sigh. "Do you remember the story you told me about you and Martha?"
"About us falling in love and having to keep it a secret?" He chuckled as a smile lifted his lips. "You old dog. You're in love with Elizabeth, aren't you?"
"What? How did you know that?" I sat up and pressed my hands to the desk in front of me. If Peter knew, and we barely saw each other, then maybe I hadn't been as sly as I thought.
"How could I not know? You watch her with this deep adoration every time I'm around the two of you. Others might think that it's simply pride in your pupil, but I've known you for the last ten years, Aiden. You were my pupil. You're in love with the girl, and it's killing you. Isn't it?" He brushed something from his slacks and let a comfortable silence fall between us.
I nodded as he glanced up. "Yes. I thought maybe I could just let it go, forget about it, forget about her, but I can't. I've never wanted to give anyone the world, or share my own, but I do with her."
"And what about her? Is she in love with you?"
"I don't know. I think so, but I stay as far away from the emotional side of our relationship as I can." I groaned softly and glanced up at the ceiling. "Give me my options. I need to know if there’s any hope for us without having to turn our worlds upside down."
"The hospital rules are quite specific, Aiden, but let me read them over again." He stood. "You need to try to get a hold of yourself. You cracking up and turning into a bear in the middle of the operating room isn't going to fly, and you know it. You're known for your calmness and professionalism. Don't let that change. It's not worth love, or anything else."
I nodded but didn't respond. He had no clue what Elizabeth's attention meant to me. Everyone could pretend to understand, should I share my truth, but it would be a lie. I had very few friends. And I had been fine with that up until she showed up in my hospital.
A page called out over the speakers above me, saving me from the torrent of emotion that wrecked my insides.
"Dr. Crawford. You're needed in E.R. Stat."
I jumped up and grabbed my phone, tucking it into the back of my scrubs and jogging toward the E.R. I passed up Peter and gave him a quick 'thanks' as I moved toward the action. Hopefully it would help me settle myself and find my center again. I wasn't going to last more than another week as Elizabeth's mentor, her friend, or her lover. I wanted far too much from her, and it was unfair to both of us.
Something had to give.
****
“Great job in there today." Karen patted my back as we walked to the wash room just outside of the O.R.
"Thanks; you too. It felt good to save a life. I don't think I could ever grow tired of it." I washed my hands and let her dry them as my eyes shifted to the opening just behind her. Elizabeth stood watching us, a sweet smile on her beautiful face.
"I'm here for my shift. Where do you want me?" She walked in and patted Karen on the back. "You guys having a good day?"
"I want you with me. We're going to have to deliver some bad news to a family, and I think it's time that you took on that task. It's the worst thing we have to do by far, but it's something you have to get used to." I turned and wiped my hands on another set of paper towels as my heart constricted in my chest.
"I'm having a good day," Karen chuckled. "He's been incredibly moody, but I think you're used to that."
"I have not." I glanced over my shoulder and smiled at the older nurse. "You're just being sensitive today because it's your birthday."
Elizabeth let out a sweet yelp. "It's your birthday? Happy birthday! That’s great. Did we get a cake?"
I nodded and turned to face them as my eyes moved over her curvy frame. I knew what every inch of her looked like, felt like, tasted like. My pulse sped up, and every cell in my body screamed for me to cross the room and pull her into a passionate kiss.
Yeah, it was time for a change. She and I would have to talk later that afternoon after our shifts were over. I needed her to move to another mentor, or we had to stop fooling around. Hunger for a long weekend of feeling her pressed beneath me rode me hard, and I was close to breaking down and inviting her in fully. She wouldn’t appreciate it, and I wasn't ready for her rejection.
"It's chocolate, and it's in the breakroom. We'll get a piece after we talk to this family." I walked out of the O.R. and back to my office, expecting Elizabeth to follow me.
Parks was waiting in there when I approached, and I growled at him as I stopped short.
"What do you want?" I moved into the office as he turned.
"Well, hello to you, grumpy butt. Jeez." He sat down in the chair across from my desk and glanced up as Elizabeth moved to stand beside him. "Hey, Lizzy. You look hot today."
She rolled her eyes. "Hush. No one is in the mood for your antics."
"I second that." I sat down in my chair. "What do you need? I have a family to visit with, and it's not pretty."
"Aw, I'm sorry, man. I know how much you hate that shit." Parks stood up and slid his hands into his pockets. "We can talk later. I just need some advice."
"I have a few minutes now." I forced my expression to soften. There was no reason to reject the guy. He'd been too good to me, and like a little brother for the last few years. I was being a dick because I was struggling with indecision. It had nothing to do with him. The only issues were the fact that I was almost positive that his need to talk had something to do with his desire for my girl. Not good.
"Right. It's cool. I'll catch you later." He turned and walked out, not saying anything else as I let out a short sigh.
"What's going on?" Elizabeth closed the door behind her and moved around to my side of the desk, forcing me to turn in my chair so she could slide onto my lap. "You okay?"
Her arms wrapped around my neck, and I slid my hand up her back, cupping the back of her neck as I drew her close to me and pressed my lips to hers in a hungry kiss. I wanted her so fucking bad that I ached at the thought of it. She was addictive, and my drug of choice.
She pressed into the kiss and ran her nails rhythmically over the back of my neck as I made love to her mouth. My cock twitched to life and pressed against my scrubs painfully. She seemed to notice and reached down, rubbing her hand over my erection as she licked and sucked at my lips and tongue.
"I want you," she whispered against my mouth. "Take off tonight and let's go back to your place. You haven't let me come over since that first night. Why?"
I sat back and pressed my hand softly against her chest just above her breasts. "I don't want to talk about this right now. Let's go deal with the family and we can grab a coffee and talk afterward."
She nodded and got off my lap, her expression showing me that she felt rejected, which was the opposite of what I wanted her to experience.
"Yeah. Of course." She brushed her fingers through her hair before pulling it up in to a loose bun.
Just the smell of her drove me crazy, but there was nothing I was willing to do about it until we had a little bit of resolution. I prayed like hell that Peter would get back to me with some good news, and soon. My mood was souring more and more every day, and I knew I was going to hurt her, to push her away, but it was simply my defense mechanism, and it was already starting to churn.
"Alright. Here’s the file. Read it over and prepare as we walk down there." I handed her the file and opened the door.
"Aiden, are you upset with me? You've been a little edgy lately. Did something... I don't know... did something change?" Her face was a mask of indifference, but I could see pain in her eyes.
"No. I'm just struggling with a few things, but everything is fine. I promise." I reached out and touched the side of her face. "You do look hot today. Parks was right."
She nodded
, but didn't return the smile that I'd forced onto my face. I moved out into the hall, and she walked slightly behind me, her head down as she scanned through the file. I kicked myself internally for being so damn flaky around her. It was tearing apart her confidence and affecting her as badly as it was me.
"You ready?" I glanced back as we stopped outside the patient’s door.
"Yep." She was all business, and didn't wait for me to open the door, but moved past me and opened it herself. "You don't need to come in unless you want to. I'm a big girl. I've got this."
I stood there as the door closed in my face. She was hurt, and she had a right to be.
I just had to figure out if I was going to reach out and help make the bleeding stop. I had to fix my own shit before I could help fix hers, though.
"Aiden, Peter wants to see you if you're free." Karen walked down the hall behind me and gave me a friendly smile.
"I am. Thanks." I turned and walked toward the front of the hospital, grateful for the reprieve, and yet feeling like a bastard for wanting one.
Chapter 16
Elizabeth
If I didn't feel like a useless whore before, I did now. He was pulling away from me, and if it had just been about the arrangement, I wouldn't have cared. I might have even been a bit relieved to have an out, but it had nothing to do with the sex. I was in love with him. Every part of him stimulated me and left me panting for more. I wanted to be in his life as his woman, not just in his bed or his hospital.
The older woman who sat just beside the patient’s bed glanced up at me when I walked into the small room. I could sense the sadness all around me, but the weariness that sat on her features was heart-wrenching.
"Hi, Mrs. Peterson, I'm Elizabeth Jenkins; Doctor Crawford's resident. Kind of like his right hand man." I gave her a tight smile and moved to stand beside her husband’s bed as I checked the machines for his vitals.
Doctor Feelgood: (A Bad Boy Doctor Novel) Page 25
