I'd fallen in love with the idea of belonging to a strong man like Erik a long time ago, but because of my upbringing, I'd never given into it.
Until last night.
I walked to the bathroom, my eyes open wide, my ears on high alert. Was he back home? Had he stayed with someone else?
After washing up, I found my clothes, got dressed and called Jenna. I couldn't find my fucking wallet anywhere, so getting an Uber was out. Walking sounded like the best plan, but there was no way I was walking forty miles in heels and the outfit I had on at the club the night before.
It was still dark outside, which surprised me. I'd only been asleep for two hours. After walking around the big empty house, I walked outside and locked the door behind me. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry until I was home in my own shower and could sink down and console my broken heart.
"So this is what a one-night stand feels like." I walked around in the driveway for what seemed like forever when lights finally lit up the darkness. "Please be Jenna."
I walked toward the car, realizing it was her. Where I was still mortified, it was Jenna. She would drive in silence if I told her that I wasn't ready to talk about it or drill me with questions if I was.
"Where's Erik?" She gave me a stern look as I got into the car and buckled up.
"He had to go. Someone called, and he couldn't tell them no." I shrugged and leaned back in the seat. "I really don't want to talk about this."
"He didn't hurt you, right?" Her hand was soft on mine.
"No. He was great." I turned my face to watch the road rush past us as she pulled out of his driveway and headed back home.
"You guys made love?"
I snorted. "No. But I already said I didn't want to talk about it."
"Okay. Sorry." She pulled her hand from mine. "I'm pissed as hell at Nate. That drug he gave you is the one that killed my brother."
"He was just trying to help." I let out a shaky breath.
"Right, well, I'm still upset with him. It was stupid giving both of you the drug."
I turned my face toward her. "Erik took it too?"
"Yeah. I believe so." She reached out and brushed my hair behind my shoulder. "When Nate and I took it, we fucked for hours. That's not how it should have been for you losing your virginity, Grace."
"We didn't have sex, Jenna. Oral sex, but he's a good guy. He just doesn't let any of us see it." I shrugged and wrapped my arms around myself. "That or I'm just not good enough to entice him to fuck me. I have no clue. I begged."
"Begged for what? For him to stop?"
I laughed sardonically, the sound so ugly. "No. I begged him to fuck me, but he wouldn't. He's not interested though he keeps playing like he is." I shrugged. "It's all good. It was fun to mess around with a guy for the first time."
She squeezed my shoulder. "It's probably him just being a good guy. You know he helped me with my brother's death, Grace. He's not a bastard; he just loves to keep people at arm’s length."
"Yeah. I know." I closed my eyes and rested my cheek against my shoulder.
"Is he a good kisser? I have to know." She giggled softly.
I turned and exhaled softly. Why wouldn't he kiss me? Because it was too intimate. How weird was that, or maybe it was just what I thought... I was good for a one-night quickie of his choosing, but not nearly enough for his affection, his attention, his kiss. "Yeah. The best ever."
Chapter 7
Erik
I should have explained myself to her. She wouldn't understand me having to leave after sex without much more than a few instructions on the house. It was a dick move, but maybe it was for the best.
My lips tasted like her nectar, and the sounds of her cries played in my ears. How long had it been since I'd wanted a woman to want me? Forever. Nothing had mattered but the syndicate for so long that I'd married it and hung up the hope for anything beyond it.
Shit was safer that way.
My sister's sweet face brushed through my mind's eye as I parked the bike outside of my father's massive house and sauntered up to the front door. The big ugly guard that stood watch gave me a nod and opened the door.
I couldn't keep up with their names and had stopped trying years before. My father had more men working for him than was necessary, but when you walked around with a bull’s eye on your back, it was necessary.
"Hey." Kane stood up from the chair where he reclined and walked toward me. "Where were you last night?"
"My place, Mother." I turned the corner and made my way to my father's office. He rarely left it anymore, so it was a good bet that he was tucked away behind his desk, planning world domination. "Dad?" I knocked on the door before opening it.
"Come in. Close the door and take a seat, son." He turned from staring out the far window and eyed me closely. "You look healthy."
"I got fucked last night." I sat down in the chair across from his desk and pressed my forearms to my thighs. "What's so important?"
"We found out this morning that a group of guys held up one of the check cashing units we run for our laundering." He brushed his fingers over his lips as his eyes darkened a little.
It was nothing new. Most of the thieves in New York were too fucking stupid to know they were messing with the mafia in their petty acts of crime. Had they any clue, they'd probably turn and run screaming the other way.
"And?" I locked eyes with him. We had a strong relationship, but it was anything but close. He kept his distance and ruled the world from atop a mound of bodies, and I supplied the bodies when it was time to kill again.
"And you're going to find out who they are and get my money back."
"Chances are that they don't have the money anymore, Dad. You know how this works. Desperate people steal money for something they need not want. The money is spent. So what would you like in return for your investment in them?" I was pushing a little harder than usual, but him pulling me from Grace's warm wet body had me feeling pissy.
"Kill them." He shrugged and leaned back in his chair, crossing his hands over his stomach. "There's three of them. I'll get you the tapes-"
"No. Let someone else play private dick. I'm the gun, not the detective. Send me on the hit when you're ready, and I'll make you proud."
"You always do." His expression softened a little. "Tell me about this fuck last night. Some random girl or someone I should know about?"
"Just a woman I met in the city. No one important." I stood as someone knocked at the door behind me.
"Good. Keep it that way. You know what happens when you start to love someone around here."
"Yep. They die." I turned and opened the door, a little surprised to find Fredrick Carrington behind Kane in the hall. The metro-looking bastard was shifting back and forth from foot to foot.
"Mr. Carrington is here to see the Don." Kane nodded toward Fredrick as if I didn't see him or didn't know who the illustrious club owner was.
"Come on in. I was leaving." I moved back as my father's voice lifted.
"No. You're staying. You'll be helping me with this situation too."
I stifled a growl and moved back, nodding to my old man before clasping my hands at the front of my waist.
"I appreciate you seeing me on such short notice, Lucien." Fredrick walked toward my father and extended his hand.
My father stood and shook the man's hand before glancing over at me. "Mr. Carrington needs our help getting the cops off his ass. Seems that he's having a bit of a drug problem."
Fredrick picked up the story. "Right, so this new drug we've been selling at the club is great for business when taken properly, but otherwise it can be toxic to the system and three of them can-"
"Kill you. I've seen it before." I moved over to take the seat beside Fredrick as interest raced through me. What the fuck did he expect us to do? We weren't running drugs out of our syndicate and hadn't been for years, though I'd mentioned our need to multiple times.
"Right." He nodded and turned back toward my father. "We
had two fatal incidences, and of course the cops got involved immediately."
"Is Nathaniel still working for you?" My father tilted his head a little to the side.
"Yes. He's our bouncer, but-"
"He's working for us as well now." My father glanced over at me. "Whatever decision we make here today, bring him in on it. He has a foot in both of our worlds, which will benefit us in this endeavor."
"Which is?" I glanced over at Fredrick.
"I need the cops off my ass. If you have a plant in the police department, I could use some help sweeping this away."
"That's all?" I glanced back toward my father, who nodded.
"Yeah, but there's a new rookie detective on the case, and the guy seems street smart. Maybe we could put a bullet in his head as well?" Fredrick's request surprised me a little.
"Cole Matthenson is the kid’s name." My father leaned back in his chair, looking like the devil himself. "I don't think there's any need to off a cop just yet, but we can take care of the plant."
"How much?" Fredrick turned and looked at me and then back to my father again. "I have most of my money tied up in real estate, but I can liquidate a few things if need be."
"Eight hundred thousand for removing the cops from your trail, deleting the evidence and scaring the newbie cop." My father tapped his fingers on his desk as if Fredrick were taking too long, though he'd given the poor guy no time to think.
"Wow. That's a shit load of money, Lucien."
"Take it or leave it, old friend." My father shrugged. We didn't need the money or the pain in the ass to deal with. We had our own shit storms brewing every way we turned.
"Alright, but you have to give me some time to get that kind of green." Fredrick stood.
"You have two weeks. Our part will be done in a few days." My father stood and extended his hand. "And don't fuck with me. You know the way I operate. You don't keep up your end of the bargain, and I'll take something far more valuable than money."
"I understand. Thank you." Fredrick shook my father's hand and glanced down at me. "Thank you, both."
"Sure." I stood up and held the door open for him, closing it after he passed through. I turned toward my father to find him studying me. "What does he have that's more valuable than money?"
"To us? Nothing, but to him? Everything. His daughter is a top model here in New York. They keep their relationship hidden because she wants it that way, but the girl means the world to him. She's all he has left of his wife, Daniella. The girl is beautiful like her mother." His lip lifted in a wicked smile. "I almost hope that he doesn't pay up."
"Why's that?" I moved back toward the door, ready for some time to myself.
"Because you'd like the girl, Erik."
"You know I would never force myself upon a woman."
"You wouldn't have to." He sat back down. "She’s starved for attention. She'd beg for your affection. Might be a nice gift from me to you."
"A needy woman?" I snorted. "No, but thank you."
"Be careful, and tread lightly, son. Don't fall for this city girl. It will only lead to your destruction because of her own." He rubbed his chest and turned toward his window, leaning back and letting out a long sigh. He'd died the day my mother had so many years ago and was nothing more than a heartless bastard with too much time on his hands now.
"Anything else?" I asked softly as my hand lingered on the door handle.
"No. Tell Kane to look into the theft I mentioned and take care of it. Report back when it's done."
"Yes, Sir." I opened the door and walked down the long, empty hall toward the front door. Was Grace still at my place? Asleep on my bed? Her beautiful body tangled in my sheets?
I'd give her a day to rest, and then I was calling... it was time to tease her into full submission, to make her crave me in a way that left her unable to turn me down.
I hated to play games with her, but my black soul demanded it of me.
Chapter 8
Grace
"So tell me again why we have to make all of these paper mache things? You know they sell this kind of shit at the store." Jenna scooted over and stretched out her legs.
"Because we decided at the library that we wanted everything to be organic this year. You know... made from us." I reached out and grabbed another piece of paper before contorting it around a balloon. "It's going to be great."
"Yeah. When we get it all done." She smiled, and everything seemed okay for a moment. Her smile faded a little. "Hey. You okay?"
"As good as I can be." I shrugged. I wanted to tell her how badly I wanted Erik to want me, but it seemed so lame. He was way too much man for me to handle. I should have been lucky that he hadn't called all weekend. Not that we'd made that arrangement anyway. We shared an hour of passion, and he left me to lock up and see myself out.
He was an asshole, and I was an idiot.
"You know that you can have any man in this whole damn city, right?" Jenna reached out and squeezed my knee.
"But what if I only want one?" I forced my voice into a normal calm sound. She'd pick me apart in minutes if I showed my true feelings. There was no way I was ready for that.
"Grace." She took a deep breath and let it out. "I was in the wrong for encouraging things with Erik. He's a dangerous man. I shouldn't have let Nate help me get him there for you. I'm an idiot, but you're not. You're way beyond him."
"Okay." I nodded and glanced down at the paper in my hands. Fuck. I was going to cry again. How many times could I cry over something so stupid? I hated myself as I turned and got up. "Be right back."
"Grace," she called after me, but I jogged down the hall and closed myself up in my bathroom. "Grace. Let me in. I understand what you're feeling."
"I know you do." I pressed a rag to my face and dropped down on the toilet. "I'm okay. Just give me a minute to pull myself together. It's silly."
"No, it's not. If Nate hadn't forced himself on me, we wouldn't be together." She let out a frustrated huff. "But Erik isn't Nate. I know he's interested in you, but him not getting involved in your life is a really good thing. I was there when he shot Ashely."
"He did that to save you, Jenna." I wiped at my eyes roughly. "I'm okay. Just leave me be. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"
"Grace. No. Come on. We were going to spend the day together."
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm trying to work through all of this, but I just feel stupid and childish. I want something I can't have, and that's okay, but I have to still work through the feelings of being denied."
"He didn't den-"
"Yes, he did. Please leave, okay? I'll call you later. I'm not doing this right now." I got up and turned on the shower, forcing the conversation to end. We'd been friends most of my life, but in all of those years, I'd talked about one or two guys, and she'd talked about a million. This wasn't my forte. I didn't know how to act, what to say, how to seduce them. I was an idiot, and it was obvious by the sound of my voice in my head, the replay of me begging Erik to fuck me playing on a broken reel.
He was dangerous. I knew that, and yet it didn't seem to matter.
I paced for a little while, walking around the bathroom until I knew Jenna was gone for sure. After splashing cold water on my face, I walked out into the apartment and made my way to the kitchen. I rarely drank alone, but the moment felt too right to pass up the opportunity.
"Guess I'm too much of a good girl for you, hmmm?" I poured the first shot of Everclear and lifted it to my lips, quivering at the horrible smell of it. "Here goes nothing."
I threw it back and yelled loudly as it burned all the way down my chest to my stomach. One would never be enough though.
Four shots later, I stumbled down the hallway into my bedroom and turned on the nineties station before stripping into my panties and bra. I danced around the room, my thoughts entirely on the music blaring from the speakers. No problems for me. I didn't need 'em.
A hiccup burst from my lips, and I dropped down on the bed, laughing at my ignorance.
How stupid was I? Thinking a hot bastard like Erik Bertinelli wanted an ugly duckling like me. I laughed louder, the movement shaking me as I lay half-naked in my bed.
He was a man, and I was nothing more than a little girl, trying to figure out how the fuck to grow up.
I grabbed my phone and pulled up Nate's number, texting him to get Erik's number. Time to break it off completely and tell him. I'm not interested in anything you have to offer, Mister.
"That'll do him right." Hiccup.
My phone buzzed beside me, and I scooped it up, expecting it to be Nate, but it wasn't. Unknown caller. It could be fun.
"This is Grace Adams. How can I make your day?" I whispered seductively into the phone, half-expecting it to be a call center from the Middle East.
A soft chuckle resounded in my ear. "Grace Adams. Are you drunk, you naughty girl?"
Erik. Why was he calling? I jerked up in the bed and glanced around, covering my chest as if he could see me.
"I thought you were a calling service. I was being childish."
"Childish? I would say you were being incredibly seductive, which isn't good for you or me." His voice left my thighs clenched, my center wet.
"I agree, seeing that we're nothing to one another. Something you need? I'm not working at the library this weekend, so if you're hoping to stay late today, then-" I tried to play all business, but he cut me off.
"Grace. Hush."
"I'm hanging up." I dropped back on the bed and closed my eyes. Fuck. I wasn't going to hang up.
"Tell me what you have on."
"No," I whispered roughly as lust burned through me.
"Want me to guess?" He moved in between playful and aggressive. I needed both parts of his personality, all of it. I needed him.
"I'm in my panties and a bra. I just danced around my room like a virgin teenager. Happy?" I barked into the phone, going for angry instead of hurt. My heart quivered in my chest. I was so lost to him and yet I was the only one that felt that way.
"I can see you in my mind’s eyes." He growled softly. "I can't get away right now, but I wanna hear you come."
Doctor Feelgood: (A Bad Boy Doctor Novel) Page 55
