"That Erik is a horrible choice for a baby daddyDaddy?"
I shook my head and moved to sit on the edge of the bench. "Yes, but it's not like you can choose who you fall in love with. I'm pretty sure Nate wouldn't have been your first choice."
"Nate and Erik are nothing alike, Grace."
"Wasn't it Erik who stepped up and helped you like you were family a month back?" I glanced over my shoulder as she offered up a sheepish grin.
"Yes. I fell in love with him a little bit during all that shit, but you have to step back from this and really think about who he is." She ran her hand down my back. "What he is."
"And what if I ignore it?" I turned back to face forward, studying people once again. "I mean, he deserves love too. Just because he's stuck in a messed up situation where his father is who he is doesn't mean Erik has to be alone for the rest of his life, right?"
"It doesn't, but Nate told me that his mother and sister are dead as a result of his father."
"What do you mean?" I turned to face her.
"Belonging to a man like Lucien means that you have to be under his protection all the time. He obviously turned his head."
"How did they die?" I took another drink of my coffee as tension raced around my chest. I shouldn't have been asking questions about Erik to anyone but Erik.
"I don't know about Erik's mom, but his sister, Delaney was kidnapped at twelve, raped, beaten and thrown in the river about two weeks later. Nate said that he and Erik searched the whole city for fourteen days straight. Erik barely ate, wouldn't sleep. It was hell."
"I can't imagine." I cupped my hand over my mouth as tears burned my eyes. "He won't commit to me in the least. Maybe this is why."
"Good. Then he's not the black-hearted bastard that I believed him to be. Maybe he has some humanity still left inside of him."
"It's irrelevant, Jenna. I love him. If he asked me to run away with him and join his mafia... I would." I leaned back and closed my eyes. "But he won't. He'll use me for sex until he's tired of me and he'll walk away without looking back."
"Then you walk away. This is stupid. I'm talking to Nate about it."
I reached out and grabbed her hand as I opened my eyes. "No. Leave it alone. I want every second I can have with him before it happens. I don't care how it sounds or looks." Tears burned my eyes. "I saw a side of him yesterday that gives me hope. He's not a monster; he's just in a horrible situation. I'll get him out."
"How?" She snorted and gave me an incredulous look. "You'd have to kill his father."
"And?" I stood up and walked to throw my coffee away.
"You're not serious, right? It doesn't work like that. He's the most guarded man in the city." She followed after me.
"No. I'm just talking out loud, and I should stop. I'm not doing anything to anyone." I turned to face her. "I'm a librarian for God's sakes."
"Right." She reached out and brushed my dark hair over my shoulder. "Please don't do anything dangerous. Erik wouldn't accept you offing his old man. He loves him. That much I know."
"Well... At least he loves someone." I tucked my hands into my pants pockets. "I'll come find you when I get off work. That okay?"
"Yeah." She pulled me into a tight hug. "Let's try and have fun tonight and just forget all of this craziness. Can we do that?"
"Kadia?" I lifted an eyebrow. "Is Nate working the door?"
"Yes, which is good. He'll watch out for us, but I'll tell him to keep his distance. There's no reason why we can't just spend some time together."
"Right." I snorted and pulled out my phone, praying Erik would have texted. Nothing. "And the first guy that asks you to dance or tries to buy you a drink is going to get a rude awakening. He'll be picking his teeth up off the floor."
"Nate's not that bad." She slipped her arm into mine and laughed. "Okay, maybe he is, but we'll just chance it. I need time with you."
"And I need you to figure out what's going on with Thomas."
"Anything new happen with him?"
"No. He's just jittery, and he should be. I might ask him to come stay at the apartment with me for a few days. He needs to be around someone he trusts."
"I don't know. Whatever he's gotten himself into doesn't look good. I almost wish you would let the cops handle it."
"I am, but he's my brother. I love him."
"I understand. We'll figure it out together. I just need to be able to get into my Dad's office. You can thank your sexy boy toy for us not being able to."
"Boy toy? Please... he's the master, and I'm the one getting played. I might look naive, but this part I have down."
"So disturbing," she whispered and pulled me across the intersection.
It was massively fucked up, and yet I wasn't at the point of being willing to change any of it.
I wasn't sure I ever would be.
Chapter 17
Erik
I laid in the bed forever, the vision in my mind's eye so fucking disturbing. My dreams had been far worse than ever before, and none of them were about Delaney, which was a bit of a relief. Too bad they were about my girl instead.
Grace was curled up on her side, her nightgown silky and white, her black hair spread across the pillow. She looked like an angel sleeping in my dark sheets. I wanted so badly to reach out and make her mine, but I stood at the edge of the bed, watching her sleep instead. The dream almost seemed peaceful until the sheet just below her ample breast turned red, blood staining it from somewhere on her body.
I freaked out and raced to the other side of the bed to find a hatchet buried between her shoulder blades, angled to hit her heart.
"No! Baby." I pressed my hand to the back of her shoulder and grabbed the handle of the weapon with my other one. "Baby, please tell me you're still alive."
Nothing.
"Grace. Goddammit. Tell me you're okay." I gripped the handle tighter as my stomach turned upside down. "This is going to hurt. Hold on, okay?"
I was talking to a corpse. I knew it without a doubt. Her soft skin had lost its heat. A scream lodged in my throat as I pulled the hatched out and chucked it across the room. She didn't move.
"Baby?" I rolled her onto her back and brushed her hair back as horror rolled over me in thick waves. Her skin darkened before my eyes, her hair growing tangled and wet. No.
I backed up and cupped my mouth with my hands as sob after sob ripped from the center of my chest. I'd never touch another woman if the moment were real, true. Grace.
"My Grace," I whispered and cried into my hands. No one survived around me. I'd killed her by letting her in.
No. Fuck no. I whipped my hands down my face and let my eyes move down the long length of her body, stopping at her tummy.
"No," I whispered roughly and walked to the bed, dropping down beside her and running my hands over her large swollen abdomen. Pregnant. She was pregnant with my baby?
Fury, mixed with the darkest depression I'd ever experienced, covered me like a wet blanket. The scream that left me shook the walls as I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my face against my lost future. I was a monster, and I deserved exactly what I had gotten.
Death.
"Fuck," I whispered and rolled onto my side as emotions beat against the inside of my chest. The afternoon before at the park was too much. Thank God my father had wanted me home the night before to take care of a few things. Had I gone back to her place and spent the night with her, I'd probably have proposed. She was everything I wanted in my fucked up life, and yet, I had to keep her at arm's length. What choice did I have?
She would get in the way of the syndicate, and someone would remove her, friend or foe.
"Erik. You up?" Kane's voice pulled me from my thoughts.
"Yeah. Shit." I got up and grabbed a pair of pants from beside the bed, a little surprised at the lack of an erection. It’s the nightmare. They always fucked me up something good. I ran my fingers through my hair and opened the door. "What's up?"
"Lucien wants to see you.
" Kane turned and walked down the hall, the poor guy looking haunted. What the hell was going on?
I grabbed a shirt and pulled it over my head on the way to my father's office. "Dad?"
"Come in and close the door." My Dad turned to face me and stood. "Take a seat, Erik."
"Alright." I sat down in the chair across from his desk and glanced up at him, giving him my full attention. "Nate and I spoke yesterday about this cop you're wanting to bring on staff."
"I'm wanting to bring on staff?" I snorted. "This was Nate's idea, but I don't see any harm in it. He's been a little nosier than he should have, but-"
"That's because he's already working for me." My father pressed his hands to the table and eyeballed me in a way that had me wanting to shrink back. "Tell me about Grace Adams, son, and don't leave out a detail."
"Alright." I brushed my hands down my thighs. "She's a girl at the library that I had sex with a few times. Nothing more."
"The city girl?" He lifted his eyebrow before walking to the window. "You've been missing a lot over the last few years." He glanced back at me. "Since Delaney died."
"Was murdered." I leaned back in my chair. "I like to read. It gives me something to escape to. I'm not like you, Dad. I can't bottle that shit up inside and release it in vengeance. A good historical novel every once in a while and I'm right as rain."
"And you're in love with her." He turned and cupped his hands before his waist.
"No. I like her, yes, but I know what type of danger she would be in if I brought her here." I tried to play it cool, but my insides were a jumbled mess, my heart racing. What the fuck had my father been up to? Was Cole in with him before Nate brought the bastard over to my place?
"The day your mother died was the last time I took a full breath of air in my lungs." He turned back to the window. "We were driving home from church because God forbid we missed it." He chuckled, and I sank farther in my chair.
"Dad. Grace isn't-"
"Shut the fuck up," he barked loudly and pointed a finger at me. "Sit still and listen to this so you'll understand why you cannot be with this woman. If you love her, you have to turn away, Erik. Death will come for her."
I nodded and pursed my lips. There was no talking back to my old man, no matter how old I was. He was still in charge of all of us, and always would be.
"We were in the car, me driving, your beautiful momma in the passenger's side seat. You kids were in the back." He brushed his hand down his face and stared out the window. "It was a beautiful day, and I thought everything was settled between me and the Coopers, between me and the Castalettas. They were the only threats on US soil, and we'd made a pact to keep to our territories and remain respectful of each other."
I stood up and walked to stand beside him. Where he scared the shit out of me, he was still my father. I loved him deeply and hated to see the pain on his face. It had been there, hiding out behind a mask of indifference or rage for as long as I could remember.
He continued. "The truck that hit us came out of nowhere." His voice softened. "It hit your mother's side of the car and broke her back, her legs and fractured her skull in several places. The jolt knocked your sister out, but you sat in the back, wide-eyed, not saying a word, but your little mouth was in an 'O' like a silent scream." He choked on emotion.
It was the first time I'd seen him have any type of emotion over our loss. "Dad." I reached out and slid my hand up his arm to cup his shoulder. "You don't have to do this. I'll walk away from Grace if that's what you want. I don't need to hear this-"
"Yes, you do." He gripped my arm and pressed me with a hard stare. A million demons lived in the depths of his dark eyes, and for the first time in a long time, standing before him as he towered over me left me scared of who he had become. "We rushed her to the hospital, and she died the minute we got her there. I stayed in that room with her corpse for hours, screaming my guts out." He lifted his hand and wiped at his eyes. "She's the only woman I have ever loved. And someone took her from me."
"Who?" I whispered as emotion pressed against the back of my throat. Mysteries from my childhood were unraveling before my eyes, and where I didn't want to bathe in the painful emotion of our loss, I needed to know what happened to my mother.
"I thought it was Terrance." He released me and walked back to his desk to drop down into his chair. "Terrance Cooper. That old bastard." He chuckled low in his chest. "I should have checked into it. I was young and dumb."
"What did you do?" I walked back toward his desk and stood beside him.
"I took a flight to California and strangled his beautiful wife with my bare hands as she lay sleeping in their bed. She reminded me of your mother, which made it hard as fuck to do, but he had to pay for what he'd done to me." He glanced up, his face looking so much older than it had a few minutes before.
"And? Was the score settled then?" I forced back the torrent of emotion flapping around in my chest.
"No." He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, covered his face. "It was just the beginning, Erik. Terrance didn't kill your mother. It was a true accident. The guy that hit us was high and running from the cops. Had I paid attention at all, I would have known that."
"Fuck." I walked around the other side of the desk and sat down. "And Terrance knew it was you that killed his wife."
"Oh yes." He nodded. "I made sure he knew."
"What does this mean? Was he involved in Delany's death? Was that his payback to you, Dad?" Ice water ran through my veins.
"What it means is that you have no right to bring this woman into our lives. I'm sorry that your birthright gives you this place, this chair," he rubbed his chest as his face darkened, "this responsibility, but when I die, and God, I hope it's soon, you will lead this syndicate. The first thing they always come for is your woman, son. I pray you're not the selfish bastard I was. Leave this girl alone. Walk away."
I held my tongue. I didn't want the syndicate, but I had no choice in the matter until my father passed away, which would be a long time coming. He had too much protection from the outside world, including mine.
"Alright." I stood up. "You're not going to tell me about Delany's death, are you?"
"Nothing to tell." He shrugged. "She was next on the list, and they broke me by stealing my little girl and violating her. I learned my lesson, and I'll never love anyone but you again. Period."
I nodded. "And Cole is watching me."
"He is. It's for your own good." My father stood. "You have to understand that as your father, I'm here to protect you when you cannot seem to protect yourself. Now is one of those times. You have no clue what's headed your way."
"Then tell me." I reached for the door, forcing my anger back down. To lash out at my father would get me nowhere.
"No. It's a moment of growth for you, Erik. Beautiful women like Grace who have a good heart and a safe world to live in will never accept what we do. She will ask you to turn your back on what we've built here."
"I don't think so, Dad."
"I don't care what you think." His voice boomed, the sound of it slapping me into silence. "She will ask you to choose her over this, over us, over family. Your answer is no. Do you hear me?"
I nodded and walked out. My whole body shook as I walked back to the bedroom and dropped down on the edge of the bed. My father was right. If she belonged to me, they would take her first. To find her missing would be the end of my humanity.
And yet he was wrong in that she would ask me to choose her over my syndicate. She'd never do that. She respected who I was and what I had to do enough not even to ask questions.
She was perfect for me, but it was over. It had to be.
I picked up the phone and dialed Nate's number. He picked up on the second ring.
"What's up, man?"
"Did you know that Cole was following me, keeping tabs for my old man?"
"No, but why does this surprise you, Erik? Your father isn't willing to part with anything he calls his own. This is the fu
cking reason I ran from you all those years ago. He's possessive. Of course, he's got Cole following you. Why wouldn't he? You're hanging out every afternoon in a goddamn library and falling in love with the wrong type of woman."
"I'm going to break his fucking neck."
"Your father?"
"No. Cole Matthenson. I might break yours too for bringing the bastard to my house last week."
"Let's meet up at Kadia later tonight. We'll get him up there and figure this shit out."
"Erik." Kane stuck his head into the room.
"What?" I barked and pulled the phone from my face, throwing it across the room.
"I found another one of those fuckers that stole from your father. We'll put a hit on him tomorrow. You down?"
"Yes." I stood up and took a long breath. "I need to let off some steam."
"Sex or death. Both tie for my favorites."
"Death sounds much less involved." I turned and walked to the window in my bedroom, letting my eyes move across the beautifully sunny day. The nightmare about Grace rolled over me again, and I set myself right.
One more time in her arms, buried in her body and then I was done... for good.
Chapter 18
Grace
"Stop fidgeting with it." Jenna reached out and pushed my hand away from my top.
"It's too low. Shit." I glanced down to see the tops of my small breasts poking out above the silky green top Jenna forced me to buy that afternoon. "And this skirt makes me feel like a hooker."
"You look beautiful. Stop." She gave me a warning look over her shoulder before walking up to the opening of Kadia.
Nate stood at the door looking like a Greek god, his dark blond hair spiky, his blue eyes filled with life. He filled out his shirt and jeans beautifully, but he wasn't Erik. No one was.
"Wow." He reached for Jenna, pulling her against him and kissing her before turning to face me. His eyebrow lifted. "You look fucking hot, Grace."
"Thanks," I mumbled and moved past him as embarrassment threatened to swallow me whole. Why the hell had I agreed to dress like a tramp and come to a club without Erik? Nothing good could come of it. I could hear Jenna explaining to Nate that I was moody thanks to my new outfit.
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