"Maybe, but I like to think not."
"Well, it was nice to meet you, Mr. Tarrington." She extended her hand and studied me in a way that made me want to open up and share with her whatever she was after to find.
"Kendal. Nice to meet you, Dana." I gripped her hand softly and breathed in subtly. "How long have you been a nurse here at Memorial?"
"Now you're just stalling." She laughed and pulled her hand from mine. "Have a nice day."
"No flirting? No date? No hitting on me?" I couldn't help but tease her.
"Heavens no." She turned and walked down the hall, not looking back at me as I'd hoped she would. The thick swell of her ass filled up her scrubs in a way that had my body reacting violently. I needed to get laid. Here I was hitting on the youngest girl in the hospital like the idiot I was. For some reason I had a bend toward finding women that were all wrong for me in the worst of ways.
"Why not?" I hated myself for asking.
"Because you expect me to, Kendal." She turned the corner as I let out a long sigh and pulled my keys from my pocket. I had no clue who she was other than her name, but for the first time in a long time, I wanted to.
I walked to my car languidly as thoughts of Ana filled my mind. It was going to be beyond unfair to every woman I took to my bed, because they all became Ana. Where I wasn't in love anymore, the memory of what might have been filled every part of my mind. I wanted a partner in life that I could adore, dote on, spend endless amounts of time with and still want more. One time would never be enough, one more kiss would fall short, one more dance would leave me yearning. Ana had promised to be all of that and more.
"Why? Why me?" I walked out into the sunny afternoon and paused to breathe in deeply.
"Kendal. You leaving so soon?" Tinsley turned from where she was perched on the side of the building smoking. The woman was pretty in her own right, but had a cattiness about her that drove me mad.
"Yeah. Amanda is sleeping and seems to be okay for now. I'd really love to get a call when you guys get the test results back from what's happening with her." I ignored the way the woman let her eyes roam freely over me.
"Of course. I always call you when something comes up." She bit her lip and glanced around. "How's work going?"
Small talk. Great.
"It's good. Speaking of..." I smiled and spun my keys on my finger. "I gotta get up there. Thanks for keeping an eye on my sister."
"For you? Absolutely."
I moved past her and bit my tongue to keep from commenting on the fact that watching out for Amanda had very little to do with me and more to do with a code of ethics she should have as a nurse. I didn't have the right to talk about ethics though, seeing that I'd thrown mine to the wind six years before and bedded one of my students. I hadn't had the desire to do the same to anyone since, but Dana might have changed that.
The sadness over Mandy was overshadowed for a minute by the idea of asking Dana out for a drink or maybe even dinner. I couldn't date anyone in my classes, and wouldn't dream of asking out another professor, but a pretty nurse at the hospital? Absolutely.
What were the odds that I might find the right girl for me standing over Mandy's hospital bed? She had to be kind and caring if she were willing to give up her life to serve others in the capacity that the medical field deserved.
"Stop it," I grumbled and got in the car before letting out a long breath. I was a hopeless romantic in search for the type of relationship that probably didn't exist. After all the shit I'd done in my past regarding women, I didn't deserve a good one. I deserved a Terri or Tinsley. The type of woman that would slut herself out for me for a few weeks and move on to the next man. The promise of sex was the initial hook, but when they soon discovered that I wasn't anything like my alpha best friend, they'd most likely go running for the hills. Love stories were a dime a dozen.
Too bad mine only felt worthy of pennies.
Chapter 4
Dana
"Happy hour!" Jackie bounced on her feet beside me as I tried to finish logging in my rounds for the afternoon.
"It's Monday. Where is there a happy hour around here?"
"No clue, but we're going to find it, and if not, we'll flirt with the right group of guys to get a free beer or two out of the deal." She pushed her blond hair off her shoulder and gave me a warm smile.
"Maybe you can flirt your way into free liquor, but I've yet to learn that skill." I smirked before glancing down and trying to wrap up. It'd been a long day, and the encounter with Kendal had me second-guessing my relationship with Cameron. It was sad that meeting someone new would leave me recycling the same tired conversation in my head, but there it was again...
I deserved someone better. Someone that would see me for who I am and not pick at the extra fifteen pounds I'd gained. Someone who could appreciate me as a nurse and not see me as a student who needed to be coached through life.
"You want me to invite the other interns to go with us?" She lifted her eyebrow and leaned closer.
"Why? Is there a cute boy in the bunch?" I submitted the report and stood up.
"No, but there's a hot surgeon that's visiting for two weeks from New York's St. Mark's hospital. He's fucking blistering hot." She fanned herself and gave me a knowing look.
"Oh Lord." I walked to the locker room and glanced over my shoulder. "You slept with him, didn't you?"
"Hell yes, I did. He's busy taking some other doctors out for dinner tonight, but I'm hoping he'll call after he's done."
"You're corrupt." I pushed the door to the locker room open and walked to my locker, avoiding the older nurses around me.
"You're just jealous." Jackie moved up and pressed her shoulder against the locker beside mine.
"I really am. I have nothing to share that would even come close to comparing." I started to give her a smile, but yelped as someone tugged on a strand of my hair. I turned to find Tinsley standing behind me, hands on her hips.
"Just a word to the wise... When dealing with a patient, you never treat them like family. You're making a big mistake in doing that." She shrugged as if I was a dumb-ass and she was saving me from myself.
"That so?" I turned back to my locker and pulled out my jacket. "Thanks for the advice, though I'm not really sure how you would know how I treat patients unless you're watching the monitors late at night alone."
She snorted. "They're talking about how nice you are, Dana. Our job is to take care of people, not care for them."
"Says who?" I turned and ignored the 'shut-the-fuck-up' look I got from Jackie. I'd never been one to back down from a fight, and it wasn't starting now.
"Says our code of conduct." Tinsley shook her head and turned on her heel to walk back toward her group of friends. "Just do your job and stop acting like this place needs your soft touch. It doesn't."
"I-"
Jackie grabbed my arm and smiled. "Beer... on me. I'll flirt for us."
"Fine," I grumbled and walked toward the door. Someone needed to put the rest of the nursing staff in their place, but as an intern it wasn't going to be me. I had a few more months of keeping my head low and just getting through the evaluation process. After that, I could get back to life and make some hard decisions.
Business or nursing? Or both?
****
"Here!" Jackie sat down and handed me a beer.
I glanced around the overcrowded bar and wondered where the hell all these people's spouses were. Surely there weren't that many single people in the medical center in Dallas on a Monday night. It was concerning.
"Thanks." I took the beer and took a long drink as my eyes scanned the crowd.
"Okay, so the guy’s name is Parks. He's got spiky black hair and deep green eyes, huge muscles, and his dick is-"
"Whoa. Hold up." I lifted my hand and shook my head. "I'm not interested in talking about the size of anyone's dick. If I meet the guy, all I'll be thinking about is what you said about his man parts. No thank you."
She laughed. "Fi
ne, but he's so damn hot, Dana. I honestly think I'm going to try to get a job at St. Mark's when we graduate in May."
"For him? You'd move to New York for some random doctor you've been sleeping with for what, three days?"
"Two, and yes." She shrugged and took a long drink of her beer. "You haven't seen him."
"Looks fade, and sex gets old after a while." I leaned back in my seat and stared at the menu, trying to decide if eating buffalo wings or potato skins would piss Cameron off more. To say he was controlling would have been a mild understatement.
"Whatever. I'm going to live while I'm young." She tapped the table in front of me, pulling my attention from my menu. "Unlike you. You need to drop that idiot you're dating."
"We've been together for a few years now. It's not that easy." I shrugged and let the menu slide from my grasp. "Besides... he's a good guy. He's got a great job, a good family and he's trying to help me become a better person."
"He's a controlling dick-wad who thinks you need to get braces, change your hair color and lose weight. What kind of boyfriend is that?"
"One that cares? I don't know." I pushed the menu around and tried to find the will to fight against her accusations. Most of them were true, leaving my efforts wasted even if I did resurrect the desire to defend him.
"Bull shit. Are you guys having great sex or something? He's an okay looking guy, but you could do so much better. There has to be more to it. Is he black mailing you?" She lifted her eyebrow as she pressed her beer to her lips.
I snorted. "That's rich. No, he isn't black mailing me. He's just a good guy I met a few years ago in a business class. We hit it off, had okay sex and things just comfortably moved into the relationship we have now. He's controlling, big damn deal. I bet this Parks character is controlling too."
"In the bedroom, yes." She sighed in a girlie fashion and giggled. "I'm so in love with him."
"You're delusional. He's probably got a wife and kids back in New York."
"He does not!"
"And he's probably in his sixties." I smiled, enjoying myself far more than I should have. Bursting her bubble was a bitch-move, but someone needed to. She was professing love for some pompous-ass surgeon she'd been sleeping with for two days. The need to dump a bucket of ice water over her pretty head and scream 'wake-up' was almost overwhelming.
"He's thirty-one, which is no older than the sexy guy you were wrapped around in the hall earlier today."
Her words stunned me. "Sexy guy that I was wrapped around? Oh... Kendal."
"Right... Kendal." She wagged her eyebrows and giggled again. "Are you guys sleeping together?"
"Is everything about sex with you?" I'd known her for four years since starting the nursing program together at UT Dallas. Everything was most certainly about sex for her, and from what I could tell, no one was going to be changing that anytime soon.
"I take that as a no." She sat back as the server appeared beside us and smiled warmly.
"Ladies. Can I get you anything to eat tonight? It's happy hour in the bar, and I'm happy to give you those discounts if you want something." His eyes lingered on me a little longer than was comfortable, which was odd. Jackie was stunning, and I looked like a tired, overweight nurse with no hope for a good time anytime soon.
"Buffalo wings or potato skins?" I asked her and tried not to let the guy's stare unnerve me.
"Both." She handed the server the menu and waited until he was gone to let out a sharp laugh. "Did you see the way he was watching you? Did you know him?"
"No." I turned and let my eyes follow him as he disappeared behind the bar. "He's cute, but not someone I know from anywhere."
"You should hit on him. See where it goes."
"I'm dating someone, remember? We just talked about this." I finished my beer in a few long pulls from the bottle and sat back. "Besides, I don't want a new relationship, Jackie. My old one sucks just to the point of me handling it."
"That's stupid. You know that's no way to live. You need to get out there and find the right guy, not the safe one." She leaned forward. "We know better than anyone else that life can snatch your ass up in the blink of an eye. We see it every day in the hospitals, in our studies, fuck, you've had it happen in your own life."
"Don't." I shook my head, warning her. My father had been killed by a drunk driver at the start of my freshman year in college, causing me to fail most of my classes and struggle like crazy to get back into the program. He'd been my hero, my rock, my everything. After losing him, the world darkened a little. Jackie was right though... life was too short to cling to people and situations that continued to let me down. It was just easier to think about it than actually have to do anything.
"I'm sorry. No more talking about sad shit. Forgive me." She reached across the table and squeezed my forearm. "How is your mom anyway? Last question about family and I'll leave you alone."
"She's good. She's still living life as if she expects dad to come walking into the house any minute, but I get it, you know? She's not delusional that he will, but she's protecting herself from the truth."
"That's not healthy, but I get it too." She pulled out her phone, glanced down and squealed. "Yes! He's free tonight. I want you to meet him, Dana. He's so damn hot."
I laughed, unable to help myself. "I'm good, but thank you."
"You're missing out."
"He's your man, and newsflash, for the tenth time, I have a man."
"You have an asshole with a stick up his ass and a collar dangling from his hand."
"We said only happy things from here on out." I reached for her beer and took a drink before she snatched it back.
"All right, let's talk about Amanda's brother." Her smile grew wider. "I hear he's a professor at the college."
"What? No way. He's in his late twenties. How in the world could he be a professor?"
"I'd say he's early thirties. He's got this mature look that says he's past his twenties."
"Is he married?" I shouldn't have asked. Fuck, I shouldn't have cared.
"No clue, but I can find out." She dropped her phone back into her purse and pushed her beer toward me. "Want me to?"
"No. Yes." I sighed. "How would you go about doing this?"
"I'm not giving away trade secrets. You want me to or not?"
"Yeah, I guess, but only because you want to know." I finished the beer and tried not to let myself get excited. I was with Cameron and right, wrong or indifferent, I wasn't changing that anytime soon.
****
It was after nine by the time I walked into the apartment. The smell of Chinese lingered in the air, causing my stomach to turn. Too many beers and greasy food wasn't helping much either.
The sound of Cameron snoring softly on the couch left guilt racing through me. He was a good guy by most standards. He was willing to provide for us, hold me at night and cared about my health. The sex was pathetic at best, and he was a little more condescending than I wanted to admit, but everyone had to take the good with the bad.
I walked toward him and forced the thoughts of Kendal out of my mind. I was being an idiot about all of it, and I knew it. I'd text Jackie later and tell her not to dig into the handsome professor. I was good where I was in life, and letting anything rock the boat would just cause heartache and trouble that I wasn't willing to deal with.
"Hey baby." I sunk down on my knees between Cameron's legs and ran my hands up his thighs, squeezing softly.
He jerked awake and inhaled loudly as his dark brown eyes moved about the room.
"Just me," I whispered and moved closer, pressing my breasts between his legs and leaning over to wrap my arms around his thin waist. He wasn't a hunk by any stretch of the imagination, but kept his body in good shape, though far too thin for me. Being around him made me feel about three times bigger than I was, or so I hoped that was the case. Maybe I was the delusional one, not my mother.
"Did you eat good tonight? I made you some brown rice and veggies." He ran his hand down the back
of my head and dropped back down against the couch.
"Yeah, sure did." I turned and brushed my lips by the outline of his cock in his slacks.
"Not now, Dana. I'm tired." He moved backward, sitting up more and let out a soft sigh. "Did you exercise today yet?"
"No. I just walked in the door from a work happy hour." I tried to hide the burn of rejection and climbed to my feet.
"You know how fattening beer is, right?" He grumbled under his breath something about trying to help me and me never accepting it.
"Yeah, I know." I walked to the kitchen and stood in front of the stove as tears burned my eyes. Veggies, brown rice and a diet pill. Fucking awesome.
"It's only nine. Get on the treadmill in the bedroom for twenty minutes while I take a shower and then we can crash. It'll do you good."
I glanced over my shoulder and tried to remember why I'd decided to let him in my life.
"You love me, right?" I asked, hating how soft and needy my voice sounded.
"This again?" He ran his fingers through his hair and turned to walk down the hallway, calling after me, "Treadmill, Dana."
Chapter 5
Kendal
I couldn't seem to shake the desire to make a stop by the hospital to check on my sister. Part of it was to make sure she was doing better today than she was the day before when she had her melt-down. The other part was the hope of running into her nurse, Dana.
Jogging up the stairs to the business building, I tried to let my wayward thoughts go and get focused on the meeting with Dean Durham I had in twenty minutes. He was a great guy, but a hard-hitter. He was the kind of guy that could look at someone and assess any situation in a matter of minutes. He was classy and the kind of guy I wanted to be when I got older. Running the accounting department was a dream I hadn't shared with anyone, not even Damon. It seemed too farfetched after being put under probation for two of my six years on staff. Getting tenure was at the top of my list of things to do just to ensure I could cover my ass should another false allegation arise.
Doctor Feelgood: (A Bad Boy Doctor Novel) Page 74
