by Kay Maree
Even to my drunk addled brain that sounds reasonable, yet utterly terrifying at the same time.
“Just food for thought, Soph,” Scarlet grins. “On that note,” she adds, picking up her ginormous oversized purse, “I’m out of here. The boss man’s already going to be pissed I’m late, so heads up, I’m blaming you when he starts ranting about how unreliable I am.”
I nod, accepting my fate and groan, “You do that.”
“Shower, change, drink a pot of coffee, and give Lila a kiss for me when she gets home, not necessarily in that order. And for the love of God, do not answer your phone when the man who shall not be named calls. It’ll do him some good to get a taste of his own medicine for once,” she commands as she blows me air kisses and saunters out the door.
***
After ignoring the text messages and numerous calls from my supposed DNA contributor for three days and Dex for just as long, I decide it’s high time to pull up my big girl panties and deal with at least one of them. You’d think Dex would be the easier of the two, but that’s where you’d be wrong. Sleepless nights and long days later, and I still don’t know what to say to him. I mean, it’s not as if he did anything wrong per se; it’s just that he broke my heart whether unwittingly or not by simply being him.
That said, dealing with my father, which albeit seems to be the lesser of two evils, infuses me with anticipation laced fear at the mere thought of connecting with him. Hence the reason I’ve put it off for so long.
You may think it’s cowardly, but I prefer to call it emotional self-preservation, especially when I think about the fact that he could easily reject me or change his mind about wanting to get to know me in the blink of an eye.
I’ve spent half an hour second guessing myself and delaying the inevitable, but once I press the glowing green button it’s too late to turn back.
After two rings, I hear his deep voice say, “Hello.”
I swallow thickly, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat and sturdily reply with the first thing I can think of. “Hi.”
“Sophie, is that you? Can you hear me?” He asks as the phone crackles. “Sorry, sweetheart, got shit reception where I’m at. You want me to call you back?”
“No, no,” I rush out, not wanting him to give me the chance to lose my nerve. “I can hear you.”
“Give me a second to pull over, sweetheart, but keep talkin’ so I know I haven’t lost you,” Caspien instructs as I hear the faint sound of gravel hitting metal.
“Um...I... Yeah, I really don’t know what to say,” I manage to stutter out, thinking not for the first time that I’m pretty pitiful really.
A rough chuckle echoes down the line. “That’s okay, darlin’ because I don’t either. Last thing I ever expected was to see your mother again, let alone have her tell me I’ve got a daughter out there somewhere that I’ve never met or even knew existed.”
Well, that answers one question. While I’ve never put anything past Carrie before, part of me really hoped she hadn’t stooped this low. But surprise, surprise, she did and yet again, she’s left me to clean up her mess.
“You there, darlin’?” Caspien prompts.
“I’m here.”
“Pretty sure you’ve got a lot of questions for me, which I promise I’ll do my best to answer, but I’ve gotta ask first if you’re up to seeing me? I’d prefer to do this face to face so you can look me in the eye and see I’m not lying to you than over the phone where you’re left guessing.”
I feel put on the spot. I’m relatively sure he doesn’t mean to, but he’s backing me into a corner and I don’t like it. “I don’t know you,” I lash out, fear and anxiety lacing my tone.
“Yeah, I know,” he sighs. “But I promise you’re going to Sophie. I’ve missed twenty-six years of your life already, and I’m not gonna miss anymore. We’ll take this as slow as you want, but I wanna look at you when I explain how the fuck something like this could ‘ve happened.”
“Um, excuse me,” a woman’s soft yet husky voice interrupts. “Hi, I’m Anya, Caspien or the pushy caveman’s wife. I answer to either, by the way. What my husband isn’t telling you is that we’re already on our way to Furnace to see you. If he keeps driving like the madman he is, we should be there tomorrow morning. I’m not telling you this to scare you,” she reassures me at the sound of my sharp inhale. “I just wanted to give you some time to prepare.”
“Fuck,” Caspien groans. “Woman, we talked about this.”
“Yes, we did and not once while you were trying to convince me it would be a good idea to spring a surprise visit on your long-lost daughter did I agree with you,” she chastises. Focusing on me again, Anya softens her tone. “Caspien is the kind of man who acts first and thinks about the consequences later. I’m not making excuses for his behavior, Sophie, I’m just trying to explain why he’d do something so rash as to think you’d be open to seeing him so soon after finding out about him.”
“Jesus,” he huffs. “Now, she’s never going to want to meet me, what with that glowing review.”
“Oh hush,” Anya laughs. “Sophie, I know this is a lot to ask but Caspien truly does want to see you. He’s spoken about nothing but since the day your mother tracked him down about a month ago and she gave him your hairbrush. He would have acted sooner, but I made him wait until we got the DNA results back before contacting you,” she says, filling in the blanks.
Again, that explains a few things. Fucking Carrie.
With that honesty in mind, I have no idea what to say. Which is probably why, “Ah, okay,” is all I can come up with.
“Is that an okay, you’ll see me, or okay, you understand what took me so long?” Caspien asks quietly.
I can sense his nervousness; it mirrors my own after all. But at the end of the day, questions and hesitancy aside, I really do want to meet him. “Okay, I’ll meet with you. But I have a few conditions,” I warn.
“Anything,” Caspien agrees immediately.
Sucking in a deep breath, I go on to say, “I have a sister, Lila who’s six and I’ve been taking care of her since she was born. If you want to see me, we’re going to have to meet in a public place, say the diner in town and I need you to know that she’ll be with me.”
“Carrie can’t...” Caspien begins but I cut him off.
“No, she can’t,” I reply sternly. “Carrie hasn’t spent more than an hour or two at a time with Lila since the day she was born. She didn’t change her diapers or get up to feed her in the middle of the night. She wasn’t around to see her take her first steps or see her off to her first day of school. She hasn’t comforted her when she has nightmares or once read her a bedtime story. Lila is not just my sister, she’s mine and always will be, so if that’s a deal breaker for you then I suggest you forget about me and go back to wherever you came from.”
“It’s not, Sophie. I promise it’s not,” Anya answers swiftly. “You caring for your sister holds no bearing on us wanting to see you, other than to tell me that you are just as amazing as I’d hoped you would be.”
“Good,” I nod to myself. “Then because tomorrow is Sunday and Lila and I don’t have any plans, we could meet you at the diner at ten if that works for you?”
“Works for us, sweetheart,” Caspien readily agrees. “You’ve got my number if anything changes, but I hope to God it won’t.”
I can’t say that I feel the same but I’m willing to play it by ear, cautiously optimistic that Caspien and his sweet sounding wife, Anya are as genuine in real life as they come across over the phone.
“It’s settled then. Tomorrow at ten at the diner in town. You won’t be able to miss me, seeing how Lila will be in fits of glee over getting her pancake fix.”
“We’re looking forward to it,” Anya replies enthusiastically.
“Tomorrow,” Caspien adds, with the hint of a smile in his tone.
CHAPTER NINE
Pyro
“Dex,” Lila shrieks
the moment I set foot into the diner. “Over here, Dex,” her arms waving animatedly as she beckons me over.
Locking eyes with the infuriating woman who’s spent the better part of a week ignoring me, Sophie gives me a firm shake of her head. Yeah, not happening, baby, I reply without saying a word. And it’s especially not happening after I catch sight of the behemoth of a man sitting across from her with a wicked grin on his face. Clearly whoever the fuck this guy is he doesn’t know that Sophie’s mine. But being the stand-up guy I am, I’ll forgive him a second chance at life if he fucks off within the next sixty seconds.
“Hey, beautiful,” I murmur, catching Lila with both arms when she launches herself at me.
“Where you been?” She asks in her sweet little girl voice that’s equal parts curious and accusatory.
“Here and there,” I mumble, kissing the crown of her head, inhaling the sweet strawberry scent of her shampoo.
“Did Mr Boss make you go out of town again?” Lila questions, with no small amount of scorn for my Prez in her tone.
Lila’s always hated me being sent out of state on runs, something she makes no secret of every time she sees Boss. Thankfully, he takes her chastising in his stride since he has kids of his own and knows how it is, but I can see the look of censure in his gaze when he looks at me after she’s done with him.
My brothers have spent years telling me to stop dicking around with Sophie. There warnings to hurry up and claim her ass, Lila too before some other asshole swoops in and steals them from right under my nose haven’t been lost on me. But because I’m a pussy, more worried about her rejection than fixing shit if it went sideways, I’ve brushed aside their warnings and settled for watching the two girls who make my life worth living from afar.
Yeah, not anymore, though. And certainly not if this Viking looking motherfucker thinks he’s got a shot with Sophie.
Turning my head to address him, I bark out, “Who the hell are you?”
“Please excuse him,” Sophie snaps before he can reply. “He seems to be off his meds, so you’ll just have to ignore him until he finds his manners.”
The Viking chuckles and so does Lila, but at least my little princess gives me something resembling an answer. “This is Caspien,” she nods at the beast of a man. “He’s Sophie’s daddy. Not mine though. I don’t know my daddy still, Dex.”
He’s what now?
Without waiting or asking for permission, I slide my ass into the booth beside Sophie and sit Lila down on the table in front of me. “Doesn’t matter who your dad is, sweetheart,” I say, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You’ve got me, my old man and every man in the club wrapped around your finger. The way I figure it, you’ve got enough men in your life already, so what do you need another one for?”
Considering this for a second, Lila nods. “Yeah, you’re better than a daddy anyway. You’re way more fun. You let me ride on your bike and you let me eat Twinkies for dinner too,” she admits, earning me a scathing glare from her big sister.
“Shh,” I laugh. “That was supposed to be our secret, princess.”
“Whoops,” she giggles, wiggling off the table to sit between Sophie and I.
“So this is the guy you were telling us about, is it?” Viking dickhead asks Lila.
“Yep,” she confirms, popping the P. “This is my Dex. He rides a motorbike and has lots and lots of brothers.”
“Which club?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow at me.
“Vengeance,” I reply shortly.
With a tilt of his chin, he informs me, “Had a chat with your Prez before I hit the Colorado border. Sounded like a stand-up guy. Out of respect, I let him know I’d be in town for a spell and why. He didn’t seem to have an issue with it, so I’ve gotta ask, he send you here to vet me or you here for other reasons?”
“You need vetting?” I ask, playing along while I try to put the pieces together in my head.
Obviously, this guy’s a member of another MC, that much is clear. But which one and what he wants with Sophie is still anyone’s guess. Sure, Lila claims this man is Sophie’s dad, but I’ve learned over time to take everything kids say with a grain of salt.
“No need to insult me or make yourself look like a fool, boy. You know there’s only one reason why I’d put a call into your Prez to let him know I’m spending time on his turf, so just ask and I’ll tell you.”
Fine. If that’s how this is going to go down, then so be it. “Pyro, Vengeance MC Enforcer” I introduce myself, reluctantly offering him my hand.
Accepting my offer, he replies, “Kidd. SAA Desert Kings, Louisiana.”
Fuck! A man after my own heart.
Maybe it’s because my old man was our SAA before he took the VP patch after Diesel passed away, or maybe it’s because I can’t help but respect a man whose loyalty, bloodthirsty nature and skills with weapons of all shapes and sizes just speaks volumes. But whatever the reason, I’m going to have trouble finding it inside myself to hate the guy now.
“Honey,” a woman gorgeous enough to turn every male head in the place murmurs as she comes to a stop beside our booth.
Taking her hand in his, Kidd pulls her down beside him before introducing her. “This is my old lady, Anya.”
“Nice to meet you,” I nod.
“Wow, did I enter the twilight zone or something?” Sophie finally speaks up. “Because I’m pretty sure when you got here you were rude as hell, and now you’re Mr. Manners.”
Gazing over at her, I reach under the table and squeeze her thigh. “What do you expect? You’ve been avoiding me for days, sending my calls to voicemail, not answering my texts. This is the first time I’ve seen you in almost a week, only to find you here, sitting with some guy who looks like he eats women like you for breakfast. I got pissed and took that out on you, and for that, I’m sorry. What I’m not gonna apologize for is wanting to make sure you and Lila are okay.”
“Oh, my,” Anya breathes, glancing back and forth between Sophie and me.
“Have you considered that maybe I wasn’t answering your calls because I didn’t want to talk to you?” Sophie spits out sarcastically.
“It might have crossed my mind,” I answer begrudgingly. “Doesn’t mean I wasn’t worried about you, though. We haven’t gone a day without talking since your ass came back to Furnace, Soph, so fucking forgive me if I was concerned about your wellbeing.”
“My wellbeing as you put it is none of your business.”
“Gonna have to agree to disagree, Soph,” I return, softening my tone as I add, “No one knows better than me how bad I fucked up. No one. Spent a shit load of time after you came home making sure you were set up, that you had what you needed to take care of Lila, and that your head was screwed on straight. What I should’ve done was see to all that and when I was sure you were good, I should’ve made my move. I didn’t and that’s on me, but you’ve gotta admit, babe, you didn’t give me much of an in.”
Her sharp inhale and whispered, “What are you talking about?” doesn’t deter me. I’ve got shit to say and whether she likes it or not, Sophie’s going to hear me out strangers be damned.
“You made your point, and you made it clear. You weren’t in the headspace for more than friendship which is what I gave you, willingly, but that didn’t mean that if at any point in time you changed your mind, wanted me the way I want you I wouldn’t have made my play to make you mine. I waited, Soph. Waited a fuck of a long time to have you on the back of my bike, wearing my patch and my rings, but you shut that shit down. Doesn’t matter why you did because it doesn’t change anything. All that matters is you wouldn’t give us a chance which left me no choice but to try and move on.”
Sophie’s body strings tight as she sways in her seat. Her eyes lock with mine and the world melts away as I take in the dawning realization written all over her beautiful face. About time.
“Tried that and it didn’t work, but you know me, I’m nothing if not determined. So
I tried again and again, but not one of the women I was with held a candle to you, though Soph. None of them made me want to lay down my life just to see their smile or my heart race every time they walked into a room. And not fucking one of them did I ever consider putting on the back of my bike. It was only you, Soph. Always you.”
Thinking I was getting through, or at least making a dent in the walls she’d built, I edge closer, cupping her cheek as I mutter, “You give me just a little bit of the love you give to everyone else and you’ll see just how beautiful what we can have will be.”
A moment passes and then another. Sophie’s eyes widen slightly before darkening and then going blank.
Fuck!
“Move please,” she all but begs, her voice hitching on the last syllable. Turning to Kidd and Anya she says, “It was really nice meeting you, but Lila and I need to leave. If you’re still in town tomorrow, I’d love it if you’d both come for dinner at our place.”
Kidd narrows his eyes but nods in the affirmative. “We’ll be here as long as it takes for me to get to know my girl and hers. You text me later with an address darlin’ and we’ll be there with bells on.”
Anya smiles brightly at her husband’s answer but that soon turns into a grimace when she takes in the look on my face.
“Soph,” I growl.
“No,” she stops me dead. “You had your say and now I’ll have mine. As pretty as the words coming out of your mouth are, I don’t believe a single one of them. I watched, Dex. I watched how Talon was with Violet, how Lyric was with Harleigh and the way Luca is with Charlotte. The latter might not know it yet, but they’ll fall just like the others did, of that I’m sure. You are nothing like them, though. Not even a little bit. Sure, they fucked around and they did it often, but the second they realized what the women they had their hearts set on meant to them all of that stopped. There were no club girls, no hook-ups, no strippers or one-night stands. It was only Violet, Harleigh and Charlotte for them. You, on the other hand, can’t keep your dick in your pants for love nor money, which explains how you got yourself into your current predicament. A situation I’ll note that you have yet to get a handle on. And that, Dexter Scott is on you. I wasn’t the one who told you to sleep with a raging, scheming bitch like Clarissa, quite the opposite. If you remember rightly, I told you to stay the hell away from her. I didn’t do that simply because I detest her, but because I saw all the ways in which she would screw your life up. And wouldn’t you know it, she did indeed screw your fucking life up and you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.”
