by Kay Maree
“What? Who? Where?”
“If you shut up for a second, I will tell you but this isn’t one of those times to make it bloody obvious we are looking. Okay?” I plead flicking my eyes to her, I love Harlow but she is nosy as shit and would make a big spectacle about me thinking someone is hot even if I don’t have the courage to let my guard down for a man. I can look there is nothing stopping me from doing that but anything else I think I would completely shut down. All the hard work I have done over the years would all be for nothing and I will be back in the same dark hole I barely crawled out of before. She nods all too eager for me to spill my guts as she makes the sign of the cross over her chest then pretends to zip her lips making me smirk.
Bloody smartass.
“Over by the main doors,” I murmur stepping in closer so she can hear me over the music and so I can peek over her shoulder.
I bite my lip to stop from laughing and pretend I’m pissed when she spins around and gets up on her tippy toes, craning her neck to look over some other people that are standing in front of her. They move along but not before giving her funny looks making Harlow shrug. Trying not to make it obvious we are both staring I scan my eyes around the crowded bar. It's nothing like I thought it would be. This place has a lot more class than I ever imagined considering its run by bikers. I catch my reflection in one of the mirrors hanging against the ivy-covered brick walls scattered around the place and I can't help cringing inwardly. Blowing out a deep breath I realize not for the first time that I'm nothing special.
Nothing but scars, ugliness and shattered pieces of my soul is all that lays beneath my nightie. Running my sweaty hands down the blue satin knowing I am not what this man would want or need I don't even want to live with it let alone burden it on anyone else. I'm not ready for a man like that. I'm not ready for anyone for that matter. Honestly, what would I have to offer someone like that let alone the fact he wears a cut, soft leather that seems to mold to the muscled curves of his back like a second skin. I lick my suddenly dry lips just thinking about what he would feel like against me.
Warning bells ring in my ears reminding me that on that soft leather lays a 1% patch. Nothing but pain surrounds that man and that's enough to snap my focus back to the present and stopping these schoolgirl fantasies right out of my head. Sobering as fictitious pain overruns my senses I realize Harlow is still checking him out and a bite of jealousy rips through the imaginary pain tearing it to shreds. My face heats and I can't control the way my voice snaps out my next words “For shits sake Harlow, could you make it any more obvious,” I groan or was that a growl? Shaking my head, I push the thought away. “Have you ever heard the word subtle?” I grouse. Ignoring me she takes him in from head to toe her head tilts a little to the side before cutting her eyes to me and I see the twinkle in her eyes. I know what she is gonna say before she even opens her mouth.
“Why don’t you go say hello?” she smiles brightly as if it’s the best thought ever and not the scariest thing ever for me. I may think he's hot but that doesn’t mean I need to talk to him. Biting my lip, I try to work out how I can get out of this looking back at Harlow. I can’t help looking back to the man. There seems to be this pull inside me and I can’t stop myself from looking at him all over again. Pulling my eyes from him I stare at the ground trying to work out why the hell I can’t seem to stop staring at him. My hands run absently down my nightie again as if reminding me again why this cannot happen.
“You’re gorgeous babe,” Harlow’s voice breaks through my head pulling my eyes from the ground they automatically look over towards where he is standing. A bite of jealousy runs through me fast and hot when I see a beautiful blonde walk up beside him and I’m angry at myself for my reaction and the fact I want to go over there and push her away. Planting my feet so I don’t do just that I need a moment to compose myself. My mouth pops open and words rush out before I turn and head back to the ladies’ room.
“I just need a minute.”
Racing straight into an empty stall I try to take deep breaths. What the hell just happened? Never in my life have I ever wanted a guy’s attention but one look at that man and all my senses went right out the window. I was ready to bear everything to him for just one damn smile. I suck down another breath and squeeze my eyes closed as they begin to glass over. I can’t stand the thought of sharing the ugliness with someone but the thought I could do it just by a look has the broken shards of my soul shaking as warmth settles low in my belly. I cannot trust my body or my heart right now. The only thing I can do is trust my head and it keeps reminding me of the last time I let my guard down. I have too many secrets, no-one could ever understand what I had to do to be free. 1%er, pain, blood, nothing but another nightmare followed by numbness, and the deep dark hole I don't think I could pull myself out of again. I repeat this over and over again needing my body to catch on because we can never be a victim again. I am a survivor. The words from my therapist repeat on an endless loop. Even though she doesn’t know the whole story or what I had to do to get away. She knows I was attacked but she doesn’t know I knew who the attackers were. I couldn’t tell her because I couldn’t risk her calling the police and then I would be the one in jail. Blowing out a few more deep breaths I straighten my shoulders, blinking my eyes a few times to clear my vision. Flushing the toilet once again I head out and wash my hands needing to get back to Harlow before she sends in a search party. Heading out the bathroom door I see her leaning against the wall waiting for me. I feel childish for the way I acted and I worry she will want to talk about it.
“Let’s dance with the girls.” She nods towards the dancefloor and looking over I notice the girls singing and dancing to ‘H.O.L.Y by Florida Georgia Line’. I love this song and I can’t stop the smile pulling at my lips. Nodding I grab her hand. “Let’s do it,” I call out just as I see Peyton and Tilly heading towards the girls in the middle of the floor and I have to stifle a giggle when I see them trying to walk and dance at the same time. No matter the darkness that plagues me I need to try and push it aside for the rest of the night and just try to remember the old me before all the shit and just let loose with the girls. I don’t live in that deep dark hole anymore and it doesn’t control me. The girls who are my family are here, and I need to learn to live my life all over again, but this life I will make sure no-one takes that from me again. As the music blasts out around us, Ava bumps my hip to get my attention. I laugh when I swing around to look at her laughing her ass off as she starts to do the Macarena dance moves before I start copying her. ‘I’m high on loving you’ rings out and we all threw our arms out, grabbing the hands of each other we throw them up in the air as we sing out the lyrics but we fail miserably and crack up laughing at the same time. A guy walks over and grabs Holly around the waist and tries to dance with her, grinding against her ass. Holly grabs his hands and tries to get his hold off her as she turns and shakes her head saying she doesn’t want to dance. The guy doesn’t get the hint or he does and doesn’t give a shit as he tries to pull her back into him again but before he gets the chance, he hits the ground hard. My mouth pops open on a gasp as I try to take in the scene. I can’t help thinking if this was any other biker party not that I have been to many but when I did no woman could say no and the men could do whatever the hell they wanted to them without anyone else stepping in. I try to control my surprise as my eyes swing from Holly to the guy moaning on the ground. I catch sight of a very pissed off biker standing over him and I realize it’s the same one that tossed Holly’s ex out like he weighed nothing more than a wet paper bag when we first arrived. I watch as his hands curl into tight fists to the point his knuckles turn white at his sides. A shiver of fear runs through me when I notice the patch screaming that he is the Enforcer. Pushing my shoulders back I stand a little taller. Well, as tall as I can get at my 5’2 height and try not to let the fear shine through. Show no weakness! He is just a man and if his actions from earlier show anything he won’t hurt us.
<
br /> “You causing more trouble woman?” he gruffs out over the music finally taking his eyes off the man on the ground and looks towards Holly raising a dark brow. The tension radiating through me eases some when I notice the hard edge to his eyes softens a little as another guy wearing a similar cut picks the guy up off the floor. I realize it’s the one I was shamelessly gawking at near the ladies’ room. Shit. Averting my eyes to anywhere else as Holly replies in her no-bullshit way making a small smile curl my lips.
“What if I am Pyro?” Holly cocks her hip raising her chin in challenge. I bite my lip to stop the giggle that threatens to fall past my lips. She has no bloody filter and doesn’t give a shit that he is part of the MC let alone him being a bloody 1 %er.
“I may have to keep an eye on you,” he folds his arms over his massive chest looking down at her and just by the way they are looking each other up and down has me wanting to fan my damn face. Shit, the air around us seems to boil to a crescendo making my lips dry needing a cold drink or better yet a cold shower considering they are only speaking to each other. But the fact that all of us can feel it really says something. I look towards Callie as she licks her lips before mouthing, “Hot as fuck” and makes a show of fanning her face dramatically and again I try not to laugh.
Trying really hard not to laugh I look back to the scene in front of me and I can’t help my eyes taking in the beast of a man that has the guy off the ground and over his shoulder as if the sorry excuse of a man weighs nothing. I notice his patch and suck in a deep breath as I read his road name and can’t help rubbing my stomach. Razor. Above it lays what he does Sgt. At Arms. I can’t stop the shiver racing through me as my eyes make contact with his dark green eyes that seem to see into every hidden space inside me. Not being able to handle the intensity I snap my eyes to the floor.
“Don’t pretend like you haven’t been already big boy,” Holly purrs out snapping me out of my head but still I keep my eyes firmly on the floor.
“Holly,” Harlow gasps as the girls snicker beside me and Pyro laughs a deep belly laugh making all of us laugh. After what feels like minutes but was only a few seconds he speaks again.
“You’re going to be a handful and I can’t wait,” he growls. I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear him walk away but I can still feel those deep dark green orbs taking me in, I clench my hands at my sides trying to fight not to look back at him knowing I cannot let this man affect me. I feel a nudge to my side before Harlow speaks, “Oi.” I just shake my head. I see the tips of his black motorcycle boots turn and I blow out a deep breath as he moves away, but I can’t help watching his retreating back through the curtain of my blonde hair taking the scum bag with him. Again I lick my dry lips as my eyes land on his jean-clad ass.
“I think I need a drink after that,” Peyton calls out making me nod swinging my head in the girl's direction. Holly snickers when Callie links her arm through hers whispering something in her ear as they drag each other towards the bar.
CHAPTER TWO
Razor
“Get this piece of shit out of my face,” Mercy grunts out as his phone starts to ring. Gripping Trevor by the arm I go to drag him out of the office before my VP speaks again.
“Trevor don’t go too far we haven’t finished yet,” he grits out between clenched teeth the warning clear effectively dismissing the piece of shit before answering his phone.
“Prez,” he clips out as the door shuts behind us.
“Razor you gotta understand…”
“Shut the fuck up,” I grunt shoving Trevor in the back, so he keeps moving down the hallway. “I ain’t gotta understand shit besides the fact you thought it smart to double-cross us,” I spit the words out disgust evident on every word. I grunt when the piece of shit wisely closes his trap. The pounding of the music starts up downstairs getting ready for the charity party. It bounces off the walls giving me a fucking headache. Last thing I wanted to do tonight was help babysit this cocksucker but the orders been given and I just do what I’m fucking told. I hate following the rules but the brotherhood of this club is my life and one wrong move could see us facing down the barrel of a gun, so I do my part as Sgt. At Arms. I follow the same creed as every other brother in the club. We don’t follow anybody’s rules but our own, we don’t hurt women, children, the elderly or animals, we don’t deal with drugs, and we protect our territory. It’s just that simple. So, dealing with this piece of shit makes my head pound but at the end of the day, it’s one less rat we will have to deal with once Mercy finds what he needs.
“Is Shadow and Crank coming in tonight? More than likely VP is gonna need them to help find out everything this piece of shit has taken from us,” I ask Pyro as we get to the top of the stairs leading down into the club.
“Shit. Let’s get this fuck sorted then I’ll head back and talk to Mercy.” I nod as he speaks again.
“Who the fuck steals from a fucking charity?” he spits out hatred lacing his tone.
“Dead shits that’s who,” I growl out watching Trevor try to avoid eye contact with either of us.
“You really must have a death wish Trevor,” Pyro growls out and I can’t help chuckling when I see his face go as white a ghost and his throat bobs up and down. I laugh harder as sweat begins to bead across the fucker’s forehead.
“Looks like someone didn’t think this through,” I taunt to Pyro making the bastard chuckle.
“I wonder what his flesh would smell like if I set him on fire,” he murmurs flicking the zipper lighter open and closed in one hand smirking at the fuckwit.
“I-I h-have to go check the bar,” Trevor stammers out as we hit the bottom of the stairs in the main part of the club and I take in the faux walls that have been put up, the DJ testing his turntables.
“Go with that prick and make sure the bar is ready for tonight and I’ll head back up and double-check with VP to see if the boys are coming in,” lifting my chin I push Trevor towards the bar as Pyro takes the stairs back up to the office.
“Just you and me now cocksucker. Try anything and I won’t hesitate to put a bullet between your eyes consequences be damned,” I growl low in my throat letting the threat lie thick in the air between us. I wouldn’t do it here but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun messing with the fuckwits head and if he does want to try something, I’ll just tie his ass up and stick him in the coolroom for a while.
***
Watching Trevor talk to one of the guys as he goes over a clipboard in his hand I lean against the end of the bar, arms crossed over my chest not willing to let him out of my sight for even a second. I know the slimy prick will try and make a break for it the second I let my guard down.
“Hey baby,” comes from beside me as manicured nails run across my arm and I roll my eyes knowing exactly who is talking to me.
“How you going, Coco?” I relax my stance a little as her nails run up my bare arm.
“Good, thought I would come check out this party you guys have been going on about for the past month,” she purred as her head rested against my shoulder. Flicking my eyes to her before going back to Trevor I notice the spark in her eyes as she surveys the room. Coco is a nice girl with a fucked up past as far as the Prez lets on and as much as she tries to hit on me, I'm not interested. She's pretty in a model kind of way with bleached blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, eyes that always seem to be calculating. She likes to party and I have lost count of how many times me and the boys have had to pick her ass up and sober her up. Problem is she has a tendency to throw herself at any man that pays her just the slightest bit of attention including all the guys at the club which isn’t really hard since she basically lives there. I know her bed is always filled with one of the boys. When she started hanging around the club, I thought she was looking for an Ol’Man, but she quickly showed that was the last thing on her mind. Recently I noticed a slight change in her, always trying to put her nose into club shit that doesn't concern her. I could be wrong, and
she is just trying to get that Ol'Lady status now but if she thinks after being with most of the guys one will give her their patch now she has another thing coming. She is what the guys and I like to call a Sweetbutt. Nobody wants to make an Ol’Lady out of someone that has been with all your brothers. Moving her hand off my arm I guide her away with my other hand on her back pushing her towards the bar.
“Grab yourself a drink and enjoy your night. Coco, I have shit to do.” I pin her with a look that says I’m busy, and she nods smiling as she leans against the wooden bartop but I notice it doesn’t reach her eyes. Fuck it I don’t have time to deal with her needy ass tonight. Scrubbing my hands over my face I notice the party is in full swing. I lift my chin at Dice as he leans against the banister at the bottom of the stairs that lead up towards the office. Lifting his chin back his head tilts to the side as his eyes zero in on the front doors. Quickly looking towards Trevor again satisfied he ain’t going anywhere as he talks to a guy with red hair, I look to what had Dice’s attention. I feel my eyes widen and I have to clench my teeth together to stop the rumble of a growl slip past my lips as seven women walk in dressed in each sin. Son of a bitch, my eyes track their movements as they push through the crowd and I can’t help my eyes zeroing in on the blonde wearing a fucking blue nightie. Well, I assume that’s what it’s supposed to be. The satin molds to her curves like a second skin making my mouth gather moisture. A possessiveness creeps through my blood as she runs her hands down the satin as if she's nervous. Planting my feet firmly to the ground I squeeze my hands into tight fists to stop myself from going over there and throwing her over my shoulder. Fuck where the hell did that thought come from? I wonder as my jaw clenches again but for different reasons, as I watch one of her friends break off and head straight for the dance floor and get into some pricks face. I bite back a chuckle when he hits the deck with one swing as she stands over the top of him. Well, fuck me, I chuckle as my eyes are drawn to the small blonde once again and I can’t help but smile when I see the small smirk kiss the side of her red pouty lips. She reminds me of that old saying the girl next door with natural blonde wavy hair swaying to the middle of her back, light sun-kissed skin and I wish I could see the color of her eyes. I watch each of the girls look around except for the one that hit the bloke and I guess they are worried they will be kicked out. But fuck if I don’t want to give the girl a medal. I don’t know what the dick did to have his ass handed to him but he obviously deserved it. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as Pyro heads to the scene and can’t help but laugh out loud when the crowd parts for him. The fucker is big and if you don’t move he will move you himself and not give two shits about it.
