by Kay Maree
I couldn’t have a panic attack at work. Not just because a man startled me by touching my cheek. Especially when the man couldn’t know my past, couldn’t know what I’d suffered under gentle hands before.
Blade
Fuck, I’d not only scared her but hit some kind of trigger for her. The lovely nurse who had been so carefully tending my burns was the prettiest thing I’d seen in a long time. She had thick, dark brown hair that she’d pulled back into a knot thing at the back of her head, but a few strands had come lose and hung around her face. I’d been so damn curious as to whether her skin was as soft as it looked, that I’d reached out to her without thought. My fingertip had met pure silk when I’d run it over her cheekbone, before I hooked those strands and tucked them behind her ear. Mesmerized by her, I hadn’t realized until then that my actions had scared the hell out of the poor woman. Her body was still as a stone as her breath stuttered in and out.
“Shit, I’m sorry. That was way out of line. I shouldn’t have touched you without asking.”
Her body was frozen still, midway through taping down the last of the dressings over my burns. I frowned as she stayed that way. I ran my gaze over her until I saw her name tag. Veronica Jones.
“Veronica? Are you okay? I vow to you, I mean you no harm. Your hands are busy and I figured having hair in your face must be frustrating. I’m truly sorry for touching you without permission. What can I do to help you?”
It was a small lie, but I wanted to make her feel safe, not freak her out even more by admitting how I’d been curious about how soft her skin was. She was having some sort of episode, and I wished like hell I knew who made her fear such a simple touch. I’d go after the fucker and make him pay for hurting this beautiful woman. I mentally shook my head. What the hell was I thinking? The last thing I needed right now was to get involved with a woman. What I needed was some down time where I could process everything that had happened. Wrap my head around that Josefina had been held and abused by Sabella for over a fucking decade thanks to me trying to fucking help her. The last thing this woman needed was my help. I barely held in my scoff. Just look at the damage I’d already managed to inflict on her.
She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment before she opened them. Without another word she finished taping me up.
“Let me just grab the paperwork for you to sign, then you can be on your way.”
Before I could say another word, she was gone. What the fuck?
I scrubbed my good hand over the un-singed side of my face, then I reached for my shirt and slowly put it back on. Probably for the best she was scared of me. I was in no shape to be in a relationship with any woman, let alone one who clearly had issues with men. Nope, if I got an itch my palm couldn’t handle I’d take it up with one of the club whores that hung around the Charon MC clubhouse. Assuming I would be allowed to, anyway. I wasn’t really part of the club, so I wasn’t sure how many liberties I could take.
Veronica returned with my paperwork and by the look on her face, she had no intention of discussing what happened earlier. I decided to let it go and just followed her instructions to the letter. Before I knew it, I was discharged and walking out of the ER, back into the waiting room.
Mac and Nitro stood as I entered.
“How’d it go? Get the phone number of that nurse?”
I shook my head at Mac’s question. “I wish, brother. Let’s get outta here.”
Nitro rubbed his chin as we made our way outside. “She was a strange one. Generally locals see the Charon MC colors and relax, but her first thought was that we were holding you against your will or something. It’s the only reason she’d keep us from going back with you. Did you chat with her at all? If she’s in some kind of trouble, we need to tell Scout and get Keys investigating it.”
I shrugged a shoulder, not sure if I wanted to tell him my suspicions.
“Blade, man, we’re not about poking our noses where they’re not wanted, but after all the shit that’s gone down over the past few years with women who’ve been new to town, we’re paying more attention to the females here who might be in trouble now.”
I didn’t know much about what had gone down. It wasn’t like Mac and I spoke all that often, and when we did, it wasn’t to shoot the shit about life in general.
“She was fine until I stupidly touched her.” Nitro and Mac both stopped walking and turned on me with matching glares that would take down a lesser man. I raised my hands in surrender. “Nothing like that! Damn, what do you think I am? She had a lock of hair hanging in her face and I tucked it behind her ear. I did it without thought. But she froze up and was cold toward me after she ignored my attempts to apologize.”
We started walking again, both men no longer glaring but frowning.
Nitro was the first to speak. “I’ll let Scout know. With that kinda reaction, there’s a good chance she’s been through some shit. Get her name? I didn’t get a good read on her name tag.”
“Veronica Jones.”
“Maybe get to Donna, see what she knows about her.”
I looked to Mac. “Who’s Donna?”
“Keys’ old lady. She works as a nurse here. Kinda surprised she didn’t look after you. She normally jumps on any Charon cases.”
Nitro nodded to Mac. “I don’t think she’s working the ER at the moment. And Blade’s not wearing colors so no one would have grabbed her for him.”
Yep, I wasn’t wearing a leather vest with a winged skull on the back so I wasn’t one of them. I appreciated Mac giving me a safe place to heal up, but I wasn’t sure how long I could take this “You’re welcome, but hey, just remember you’re not really one of us” thing. It got old fast. As I slid into the rear of the car, I decided I was going to grab a bottle of Maker’s Mark from the bar then head up to my room for the rest of the day and night. I wasn’t in the mood to smile and chat with a bunch of men who didn’t know a fucking thing about me or what I was going through.
Blade
A knock on the door had me slowly waking up. Fuck. My brain felt like it was being jackhammered. In the past ten days, the only time I’d left my room here at the clubhouse was to get another bottle of Makers. If I stayed drunk enough, I could get through the day without my thoughts being filled with Josefina. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to matter how much I consumed when it came to my nightmares. Even if I drank until I passed the fuck out, I still spent the night trapped in a horror show.
A knock sounded again. “Blade? You still breathin’ in there?”
I rolled my eyes, then winced as pain flared through my poor, abused brain at Mac’s words.
“I’m breathin’.” Barely.
He opened the door I hadn’t bothered to lock and barged in. His whole body shuddered before he put a hand over his mouth and nose.
“Fuck man, it’s rank in here.”
He went over and opened the blinds, making me wince again as the light sent another dagger through my brain, then opened the window.
“C’mon, get your ass outta bed and in the shower. I’m taking you someplace. You got fifteen minutes to meet me downstairs or I’m coming back in here with a fucking hose to wash the stink off you.”
With that, he spun and left my room, the breeze from the open window catching the door and slamming it behind him.
“Fuuuck.”
Knowing Mac well enough to know he would really bring a damn hose up here to spray me with cold water, I dragged my ass to the edge of the bed. Forcing my body to sit up, I swung my legs over the side and with my head hung low, gave myself a few moments to adjust to being almost upright.
With a groan, I pushed up to my feet and stumbled over to the small bathroom that was attached to my room. I’d fallen into bed still wearing half my clothes, so it didn’t take long for me to strip what was left, off. Then I stood in front of the mirror and slowly peeled the dressings off my arm. Probably should have changed them a few days ago and I hoped lik
e fuck the burns hadn’t gotten infected or anything for my lack of care toward them over the past week.
Once the dressings were nothing more than a wad in the trash, I rotated my arm and looked at the healing wounds. Nothing looked like it was infected. The blisters were nearly all gone and the areas that had only been scorched rather than burned were almost back to my normal skin color. Thank fuck.
I turned on the water in the shower and made the temperature as cool as I could take it. Figuring, like sunburn, the last thing my burns needed was a hot spray of water.
Ten minutes later I was washed, dried and dressed. I’d not bothered putting a new dressing on my arm and had skipped my usual long sleeved shirt in favor of a black t-shirt that left my burns open to the air. Let nature do its thing. Veronica’s sweet voice echoed around in my head, making me wince yet again. Both because my brain still felt like it was sloshing around inside my skull, and because I’d hurt her somehow with my touching her cheek and hair. Maybe I should drop back into the hospital just to check that she was okay and to apologize again…
Mac busting through my door once more had that thought vanishing from my mind as I noticed what he was carrying.
“You were seriously gonna throw a bucket of water at me?”
He shrugged as he headed to the bathroom to empty it out. “Scout wouldn’t let me bring a hose up here. You ready to go?”
“I guess, but where are you taking me, exactly?”
He left the now empty bucket on the floor near the sink.
“You need to get away from these four walls, get some fresh air and talk to people.”
I glared at him. “That told me exactly nothing. Where, Mac?”
He threw his hands up as he strode past me. “Where the fuck do you think I’m taking you? Home. I’m taking you to my house where you can see how Sparrow’s doing and meet my old lady. Is that okay? Or are you gonna give me grief?”
I clenched my jaw against the curse I wanted to let out. I’d been surrounded by made men since I was fucking sixteen years old. I knew better than to trust anyone. Mac should have remembered that, he’d had enough time with those fuckers to have learned that lesson too.
“Could have led with that. You know why I’m as suspicious as I am.”
The tension left Mac’s body and he dropped his head down as he looked at the floor for a moment. When he lifted his gaze he caught mine and held it.
“If you decide to stay, to make a life here in Bridgewater, those days are over. The club is fucking loyal. Every man here has your back.”
I shook my head. “They have your back. I ain’t one of you.”
“You can be, if you want it. Scout’s all but offered it to you. It’ll need to go to a vote in front of the club, but with everything you’ve done for us, I’m sure everyone will vote yes.”
I turned and headed out the door. “It’s too soon for me to be making any decisions for the long term. I still have no fucking clue of what fallout is gonna come my way from what we did in L.A.”
Mac followed me down the stairs. “Keys is monitoring all the news sites and has calls into a few of his contacts over that way. He’ll let you know if he hears anything.”
I let the conversation drop, but considering I’d been their number one contact in L.A., I had no clue who the fuck Keys had over there. But unless they’d been in Antonio’s inner circle, they’d be useless. And I highly doubted he had someone that close to the top. I knew each of those bastards and not one of them had any morals at all. I’d been living in a nest of vipers for decades. For so long that now I was out, I apparently didn’t know how to live with normal people.
“How is Sparrow settling in?”
Mac’s face lit up with pride. “She’d doing good, all things considered. She loves Cleo, and that girl has her big sister firmly wrapped around her little finger already.”
That had me grinning. I’d yet to meet Mac’s ten-month-old daughter, but I’d heard plenty about the little spitfire.
“She’s gonna have you on your toes when she gets older.”
Mac winced. “Yeah, we know. Let me tell you, I am not looking forward to that girl as a teenager.”
I chuckled as I got into Mac’s car. I didn’t currently have a bike, but I’d ridden in the past. If I did decide to stay and give the club a go, one of the benefits would be the excuse to get another one. I’d missed the freedom I’d felt when I’d been out on the open road with the wind in my face.
CHAPTER THREE
Blade
It was an hour later that I found myself sitting on Mac and Zara’s back porch sipping iced tea—because Zara had declared my liver needed a break—and looking over their backyard and into the scrub that their placed backed onto.
Zara stood up and lifted Cleo up from where she was sitting playing with Sparrow. Mac had been right, the teenager was clearly completely besotted with her new baby sister.
“I’m going to go change Cleo and put her down for her nap.”
“I’ll help.”
That was about as subtle as a sledgehammer. I rolled my eyes. I seriously doubted Zara needed help with their daughter. When they both went inside, Sparrow shifted from her spot on the ground to the seat next to mine.
“I wanted to thank you.”
My hand was wrapped around the cold glass and I tapped my thumb against it as I glanced over at the teen.
“Thank me for what, darlin’?”
Been in town one fucking week and I was already calling girls darlin’. Texas was wearing off on me damn fast.
“For giving up your place here for me. For making them take me in.”
I shook my head. “No need to thank me, Sparrow. I’m a grown-ass man, I don’t need a family to fuss over me. And Mac would’ve brought you home with him no matter what I said. All I did was give him a push in the direction he was already heading.”
She frowned down at her hands as she picked at her nails for a few moments, making me worry I’d offended her somehow with what I’d said. But fuck it all, I wasn’t the hero in this story. Mac was the one who’d taken her into his home, Zara the one helping her adjust to her new life.
“You know, we all need family. There’s enough room for us both.”
My heart kicked in my chest at her innocent words. Unsure what to say, I lifted my glass to take another gulp of iced tea, wishing it was a different kind of amber liquid. After putting my drink back down, I cleared my throat and pretended like she hadn’t said that last bit.
“I’m glad you’re settling in here so well. You deserve it.”
She frowned and ran her way too perceptive hazel gaze over my face. “Why’d you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Push Mac to bring me here. You could have just as easily pushed him to hand me over with the others. Was it because of that woman at the warehouse? The one who didn’t make it.”
With a sigh, I released my tight grip on the glass and slumped back into the chair, scrubbing my left hand over my face, being careful to avoid the still reddened parts on the right side. Guess Sparrow had overheard someone talking about Josefina. Since I got the impression she wasn’t going to quit until I gave her something, I tried to decide what to tell her. How much to tell her. I figured after what she’d already been through, the whole truth wouldn’t shock her too much, and really, what could it hurt? Might even make her appreciate what she had here a little more if she heard what could have happened.
“You sure you wanna hear all this? Might give you nightmares.”
She rolled her eyes. “I already have those.”
Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees and looked straight into her eyes. “What you went through was bad, but it was nothing on what Josefina went through. Be sure you wanna know this shit, kid.”
“I need to know. To make sense of why you, a stranger to me, helped me after my own flesh and blood sold me to those bastards.”
I gave her a nod. M
ade sense. Huffing out a breath, I decided if she wanted it, she could have it.
“Two reasons I stepped up for you. Not only because of Josefina, but because of me. We’re not so different, Sparrow. It wasn’t my mom who sold me, but my dad. He owed protection money for his store that he didn’t want to pay, or couldn’t pay. Who knows? Anyhow, he cleared the debt by giving me to Sabella. I was sixteen. I didn’t choose that life. Never would have if it had been up to me. But my old man threatened to hurt my mom and little brother if I didn’t do what Sabella told me. My body was never raped, but my mind,” I paused and tapped my temple, “those bastards fucked with my head in a big way. Tried everything they could to make me be like them. Dark and heartless.”
Tears sat on her lashes and my breath caught for a moment.
“Don’t cry for me, sweetheart. I ain’t worth it.”
She opened her mouth to say something but I shook my head, stopping her. Even after all she’d been through, the kid had a big heart. But I couldn’t handle her turning it on me.
“I first met Josefina when I was twenty-one and she was sixteen. Thought it was a random meeting at the time but I learned later it was a set-up. Sabella had bought her from a Mexican cartel who’d stolen her from her parents’ farm. He’d left her drugged and abused on the street for me to find, to see what I’d do.”
“He hoped you’d bring her in, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, but I didn’t.” I had to pause to clear my throat against the lump that had formed there. “I took her home. Treated her like a sister. Let her get cleaned up, gave her clothes, food. Not that it mattered. Three months later I came home and she was gone. Sabella had come and taken what he deemed was his property. I went to him about her. It was the first time I’d gone up against him. I was so furious at him, I didn’t think. Just barged straight into his office.”
