by Laura Landon
The earl’s hair was the same golden color, and the ends curled the same as Fledgemont’s had. The coloring of their eyes was the same deep blue, only Penderly’s eyes contained a sadness his son’s eyes hadn’t held. But Lord Fledgemont had known only happiness while she was with him. He hadn’t lost all, as his father had. Or his mother.
Sarah shifted her gaze to Lady Penderly. She had no idea what she expected Lady Penderly to look like because she hadn’t considered the lady would care enough about finding the actress their son had married to make an appearance. But here she was. And if the anxious expression she wore was any indication of why she’d come, she was as desperate as her husband to find the woman her son had married.
Sarah took an unsteady step backward, but Austin’s hand against the small of her back stopped her from retreating.
This wasn’t how she’d pictured her meeting with Penderly. She hadn’t expected the villain in her imagination to appear so human, so vulnerable. So similar to his son. She hadn’t expected to come face to face with a mother whose expression told her she still mourned her son. She hadn’t expected to meet parents who yearned for any connection with the only family they had left.
Did Austin know that’s what she’d see? Was he aware of the heartache Lord and Lady Penderly still suffered? She lifted her gaze and found him looking down on her.
Her heart cried a mournful response.
He did. He knew. And he knew their torture would affect her.
Sarah stiffened her resolve. She wouldn’t let their loss play a part in her decision. If it did, she’d suffer a greater loss. She lifted her chin and walked to the chair Austin directed her to. When she sat, Etherington performed the introductions.
“Allow me to introduce our guest. Lord Penderly. Lady Penderly. Miss Sarah Bentley. Miss Bentley, the Earl and Countess of Penderly.”
Sarah acknowledged Jonathan’s grandparents with a polite nod. “Lord Penderly. Lady Penderly.”
Penderly bowed. “Miss Bentley. It’s a pleasure to meet you. And it’s a pleasure to see you again, Captain.”
Austin greeted their guests, then sat in a chair next to her. He’d placed her opposite the small sofa on which Lord and Lady Penderly now sat. It was obvious he’d chosen that chair rather than any of the two or three others in order to give her a better opportunity to study the couple.
“Please, forgive our intrusion,” Penderly continued after they’d settled. “But we were so anxious to find out what you discovered that when we received your message we couldn’t wait until this afternoon.”
Lady Penderly patted her husband’s hand and looked into his eyes. “That’s not entirely true,” she said, twining her fingers through her husband’s. “Actually, Captain, I’m the one who owes you an apology. My husband begged me to wait until this afternoon like your message indicated, but I insisted we come this morning. I couldn’t wait to hear any news you might have.”
Lord Penderly met his wife’s adoring look. The warmth, the compassion, the…love Sarah saw when they looked at each other stole her breath.
No, a small voice shouted from inside her head. She didn’t want there to be such a connection between them. She wanted their relationship to be cold and distant. She wanted the earl to be a pompous, arrogant manipulator. She wanted him to be cruel and conniving. She wanted Lady Penderly to be haughty and self-important. Instead, they wore their titles and their ranks with a humility that endeared them to her.
Penderly looked at Sarah. “I hope you don’t mind us talking in front of you,” he said, making the effort to consider her feelings.
She was relieved they didn’t know who she was or what connection she had to their son. “No, not at all.”
His appreciation was evident in the small smile that crossed his handsome face. He returned his attention to Austin.
“Since you know the reason for our impromptu visit, I’ll get right to the point. We are most anxious to learn what you discovered. Did Gregory marry Miss Flemming?”
“Yes, my lord. Your son and Collette Flemming were married. I have the marriage papers to prove that their marriage was legal and binding.”
“Oh, dear,” Lady Penderly said, clasping both her small hands around her husband’s larger hand. “Did you hear? They married. We have a daughter.”
Penderly patted his wife’s hand in celebration of the news. “Yes, Estelle. We have a daughter.”
Sarah’s heart lurched. There was no way anyone could fake such a sincere look of jubilation. They were both truly elated their son had married the actress he’d run away with, truly pleased.
Austin stepped to the writing desk and pulled out a paper, then returned and handed it to Penderly. He studied it for a long moment then lowered it to his lap. “They married shortly after they left, Stella. Within weeks.”
Lady Penderly brushed a tear from her cheek. “I’m glad. I knew our Gregory would do the right thing.”
The earl reached for his wife’s hand again and held it. “Yes, he was a good boy. He was always a good boy.”
A painful knot twisted inside Sarah’s breast. This wasn’t what she thought Penderly’s reaction would be. This wasn’t at all how she thought this meeting would go. Where was the villain she’d imagined Penderly to be? Where was the murderer?
“Did you bring our daughter-in-law to London with you?” Penderly asked Austin. “Is she here, or is she staying with friends?”
There was a slight pause, then Austin shook his head. “No, she isn’t in London.”
“Surely she didn’t refuse to see us,” Lady Penderly said. “Did you explain how desperate we are to have her with us? To take care of her?”
When Austin didn’t answer right away, the Earl of Penderly bolted from his chair. “It’s my fault. She won’t come to London because of what I said to her, what I said about her. I was such a fool!”
Lady Penderly rose from her chair and grasped her husband’s arm. “It’s not your fault. You were hurt. Gregory gave you no warning. It was too great a shock. I felt the same way at first. Remember?”
The Earl of Penderly turned to gather his wife in his arms and hold her close. “What would I do without you, Stella?”
Penderly lowered his gaze to where Sarah sat. “I’m sure you find all this very embarrassing, Miss Bentley, but my wife and I are too anxious to hear news of our daughter-in-law to observe the correct protocol. You see, I said some terrible things when I found out Gregory intended to marry Miss Flemming. Things I’d give anything to take back. But it’s too late for that, so I’m determined to do the next best thing. Stella and I want to bring our son’s wife home and provide for her. Our son would want that.”
Before the words were out of his mouth, Lady Penderly reached for a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes. Her husband wrapped his arm around her shoulders to comfort her.
Sarah felt as though she were observing a scene she had no right seeing, a very private and emotional display she was sure no other couple in Society would dare exhibit. But the show of affection came so naturally to Lord and Lady Penderly that they were oblivious as to what people would think of their closeness.
Sarah clasped her hands in her lap. She was in pain. This wasn’t the way she’d thought it would be. She hadn’t considered that the villain she’d imagined Penderly to be was capable of showing such love, such concern.
She turned her head and her gaze met Austin’s. She feared she’d see a smug expression on his face and an I-told-you-so gleam in his eyes. She wasn’t sure she could have survived such a rebuttal. Instead, the heartache and concern she saw when he looked at her matched the painful emotions crashing inside her.
She blinked and a tear escaped from her eye. Austin stepped closer to her chair and placed his hand on her shoulder. His nearness comforted her as nothing else could.
She clamped her lower lip between her teeth in an effort to regain her composure, and watched the Earl and Countess of Penderly retake their seats. When they were settled, she asked on
e of the questions to which she needed answers. “What are your plans now?”
Lord Penderly lifted his eyebrows and looked at her in genuine surprise. “Why, I’m going to ask my daughter-in-law to see me. I’m going to ask her to forgive me, beg if I have to. Then I’m going to do everything in my power to convince her that Gregory’s mother and I want her to live with us. Or, that we at least intend to take care of her for the rest of her life. It’s what Gregory would have wanted us to do.”
“You—“
Sarah tried to speak, but all that came from her was an agonizing moan. She stopped, unable to continue.
She lifted her chin and met Austin’s gaze. Her breath caught and she shook her head, silently telling him she couldn’t tell Lord and Lady Penderly the news she knew would devastate them.
Austin took her hint and faced the earl and his wife. “I regret that I have some very difficult news for you.” He paused. “I’m afraid it will be impossible for you to bring Lady Fledgemont to London. She died several months ago. Within weeks after your son.”
Chapter 17
From the look on Austin’s face, he’d anticipated Lord and Lady Penderly’s reaction. But Sarah hadn’t. She’d convinced herself that Lord Fledgemont’s parents detested the woman their son married. She assumed they already knew their daughter-in-law was dead and that she’d left a child behind. She was positive she could keep Jonathan with her and never have to give him up. But their reaction indicated the opposite was true.
Lady Penderly’s hands flew to her mouth and she muffled a painful cry of heartache and despair. Lord Penderly’s arms quickly wrapped around his wife and he gathered her close to him as he attempted to comfort her. But his reaction was just as obvious. And as heartbreaking.
He closed his eyes and breathed a harsh moan that echoed in the empty silence of the room.
Sarah felt the blood rush from her head and hugged her middle as her world suddenly shifted. Austin stepped closer to her, close enough that his warmth seeped through her. He was there to comfort her like he had been from the beginning.
Their reaction touched her deeply, as if she were hearing the news of Lady Fledgemont’s death for the first time. Even Lord Etherington seemed affected. And he’d never met Lady Fledgemont.
Sarah leaned into Austin. She needed the feel of him touching her more than she realized. His hand remained atop her shoulder, the connection was all that kept her from collapsing from the sadness.
Wave after wave of wrenching emotion surged through her. She cried silently as tears streamed unguarded down her cheeks. She mourned the loss of Lady Fledgemont as she hadn’t had the opportunity to mourn before. She grieved now like she hadn’t been able to grieve while she was fleeing for her life. She grieved now because she realized the love Viscount Fledgemont had for Collette was the same all-consuming love his own mother and father had shared.
But most of all, she grieved because she suddenly realized the Earl of Penderly was innocent of the attempts on Jonathan’s life. No one who had tried to murder a babe would mourn the loss of the infant’s mother with such sincerity.
And if Penderly wasn’t a threat to Jonathan, there wasn’t a reason to keep his identity a secret. She couldn’t in good conscience keep Jonathan as her own. She could never go away with him, or expect Austin to go with them. She’d be forced to share him. Or perhaps even lose him.
The thought struck her heart with a fatal blow. She loved the babe—but she had no right to him. He bore the title Viscount Fledgemont, heir to the Penderly earldom.
She lowered her head as the tears streamed down her cheeks. Austin must have known how her heart was breaking for he stepped in front of her and pulled her to her feet. When he had her in his arms, he gathered her close and let her cry her tears. He knew she was mourning the loss of the babe she considered her own, the babe she’d grown to love. The child she’d sworn she would never give up.
Now she’d have to share him.
“Did you know my son, Miss Bentley?” Penderly asked after a long silence. “You must have. Your tears indicate you did.”
She nodded.
“What connection did you have to him?” Penderly asked after the shock had lessened. There was an eagerness in the earl’s voice, a desperation to find out as much about the missing part of his son’s life as he could.
She turned in Austin’s arms and shifted her gaze to the Earl and Countess.
As if Austin knew how difficult this was, he rubbed calming circles on her back to let her know he was close, that he had no intention of abandoning her.
She braced herself to be strong because she was the only person who could answer their questions. And both the earl and his wife deserved answers.
“Your son hired me as all-around maid in their home.”
“You lived with them?” Lady Penderly asked.
“Yes. My father was the vicar at Wakemoor. He died a short time before your son and his wife arrived and I had no place to go. Your son took me on as companion and maid for his wife.”
“Were they happy?” Lady Penderly asked.
Sarah smiled through her tears. “Yes, they were very happy. I’ve never seen any two people more in love. I think that’s why Lady Fledgemont died so soon after your son’s accident. I don’t think she could bear to go on without him.”
Lady Penderly dabbed at a tear that ran down her cheek and Lord Penderly swallowed several times. When the earl spoke, his voice was husky and ragged. “Their lives may have been short, Stella, but they were happy. We’ll have to be satisfied knowing that.”
Lady Penderly nodded, then brought her husband’s hand to her lips and kissed it. “We will, Johnny. Knowing they were happy will have to be enough.”
Johnny.
Sarah felt as if someone hurled a boulder through the air and it pummeled her in the chest. She couldn’t breathe. She gasped for air but her lungs couldn’t find anything to fill them. Her knees weakened beneath her.
“Sarah?” Austin whispered in her ear. “Hold on to me, Sarah. Everything will be all right.”
With Austin at her side, she took a shaky step toward Lord and Lady Penderly. “What did you call your husband, my lady?”
The corners of Lady Penderly’s small mouth lifted in a sad smile. “Please forgive me. I’m not myself right now. ’Tis a name I’ve used for my husband since we were young. But always in private.”
“Did you say Johnny?”
Lady Penderly blushed and her husband answered for her. “Actually, Jonathan is one of my middle names. Stella called me Johnny when one day I teasingly called her Estey. The boys thought it was terribly funny when she referred to me so informally. Gregory especially liked it.”
Sarah wasn’t sure her legs were steady enough to walk, but she took another step toward the other side of the room and looked out the window. Austin followed but didn’t crowd her, didn’t touch her.
“Are you all right, Miss Bentley?” Lady Penderly asked.
“Yes.” She pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle the painful cry that wanted to escape. “No.”
Jonathan had been named after his grandfather. Even though there was a rift that separated the two men, Lord Fledgemont had never intended it to be permanent. He’d chosen his father’s name to connect the two. He’d never intended Jonathan to be separated from the Earl of Penderly.
Tell them. Tell them now.
She felt as if her heart was being ripped from her breast.
She reached out to steady herself against the wooden frame of the window that overlooked Etherington’s magnificent flower garden. But she saw none of its beauty. How could there be any splendor in the world when she was expected to give up the most important person in her life?
She pictured Jonathan’s curly blond hair, his small button nose, his hearty laugh and his demanding cry. He was perfect in every way. Except he wasn’t hers. He belonged to the Earl and Countess of Penderly. He was heir to an earldom. He’d even been named after the earl.
“Sarah?”
Sarah heard the encouragement in Austin’s voice, saw the pleading expectation in his gaze. He was telling her in a subtle way that he expected her to make a decision. That he expected her to do what was right.
Sarah slowly turned as the earl and countess rose to their feet. They were preparing to leave. If she kept the words from spilling into the open just a little while longer, the earl would never know about Jonathan. Then she looked into their faces and their sad gazes locked with hers.
The earl spoke first. “Perhaps when our daughter-in-law’s death isn’t so painful for you we can visit again, Miss Bentley. We’d very much like to know everything about her.”
Tell them!
Sarah nodded. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t form the words to tell them their world was not lost, that they were not alone in the world.
The couple who’d arrived so buoyant and hopeful turned to leave with sad expressions on their faces and heavy hearts in their breasts. But she could change that.
Wait!
She could give them news that would bring smiles to their faces and joy to their hearts, even though at the same time their jubilation would mean her despair.
The Earl and Countess of Penderly turned to Austin. “Thank you for your help, Captain,” the earl said. “Even though the news wasn’t what we’d hoped to hear, we have to take satisfaction in knowing we attempted to do what Gregory would have wanted us to do. We only wish the woman he loved was still alive.”
Austin only nodded in response. Then his focus shifted to Sarah where she stood beside him and her heart faltered. His sharp, steady gaze transfixed her. His lethal glare encouraged—no, demanded—that she speak.
Her legs trembled. Austin’s piercing blue gaze didn’t shift from her. His silence was all-consuming, as if he could control her without uttering a word. Sarah fumbled at the sheen of perspiration that dampened her forehead.
