by Anna Blakely
He ignored the twinge of guilt twisting in his gut as he thought of her brother. Knowing the way Mike used to be about his sister, Jake wouldn’t be surprised if the guy came back, just to kick his ass. That was fine with him. Olivia was worth it.
Leaning down, he kissed the top of her head again before resting his cheek against it as he’d done earlier. His smile faltered when that little voice gave him a good smack on the back of his head.
Who the fuck are you kidding? When Liv finds out what a lying, deceitful bastard you are, it will destroy her.
This time, Jake punched the invisible ass right back. He would find a way to work it all out. They were meant to be together. That was clearer now, more than ever before.
He’d been given a second chance to make Liv his, and was going to do whatever it took to make her see she belonged with him.
Chapter 10
A soft sound woke Jake a few short hours later, and it took him a moment before he realized the sound was coming from Olivia. He sat motionless as he waited for her to settle again. After a few seconds of silence, Jake had just started to relax when she moaned again.
It wasn’t just the sound that got his attention this time, but the way she was clutching at his vest. She seemed panicked. Afraid. And he thought he heard a mumbled, “No”.
Jake whispered against her head, hoping to put her unconscious mind at ease. “Shh, It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay.” Her grip only grew tighter, her breathing faster.
“Please...d-don’t.” This time, her words were clearer, and she shook her head against his chest.
A vice squeezed his heart as he watched helplessly. She’d had plenty of nightmares after Mike’s funeral, but hearing her talk about it and seeing her in the middle of one were two very different things.
In years past, she would occasionally call him to talk about the bad dreams she had about her brother’s death. Him, of all people. And jackass that he was, Jake always acted as innocent as she believed him to be. By the time they hung up, Liv always seemed better, and Jake inevitably felt worse.
He should have told her the truth about Mike back then. Should have told her a hundred times since. But he was too much of a selfish prick.
“No,” Olivia said again, her movements becoming more forceful. It tore him to his soul to know that she’d seen and experienced things so horrific, they now invaded her dreams.
When she continued to fight against demons he couldn’t see, Jake lightly shook her and spoke a little louder. “Olivia, wake up.”
She whimpered as her sleep-heavy arms ineffectively pushed against him.
Jake sat up straighter, moving her body with his. Taking her shoulders into his hands, he carefully pushed her away from his chest, forcing her to sit up. Her head hung forward, her hair a curtain shrouding her face. “Come on, baby.” He shook her again. “Wake up.”
Her eyes flew open, stark terror filling her face. She was looking right at him, but it wasn’t his face she was seeing.
Olivia continued to struggle. She turned and twisted her arms, trying to break free. Jake kept hold of her for fear she’d take off running, and accidentally hurt herself.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t do this. I tried...I tried to save him.”
Jesus, she thinks I’m Cetro.
It was still dark out, but he saw the tears trailing down her face, each one taking a piece of Jake’s heart as it fell. He risked gripping her arms a little tighter and spoke in a deep, commanding voice.
“Liv, wake up. It’s me, Jake. No one’s going to hurt you.”
“P...please.” She barely got the word out, as if she were choking now.
He looked down at her chest. Shit! He had to end this. Now.
“Olivia!” Jake yelled, shaking her so hard her head flung back. Her wild hair flew into her face, but she still wasn’t responding. “Breathe, goddammit!” He shook her again. “Fucking breathe!”
Her body jerked in response. Olivia gasped, coughing as she tried to control her breathing.
Jake blew out his own breath and loosened his grip, his hands gently began rubbing the tops of her arms. “You’re okay, Liv. Everything’s okay. It was just a bad dream.”
With blinking eyes and a heaving chest, Olivia touched her throat as she took in the dark scene around them. When her wide eyes snapped back up to his, her unnecessary embarrassment was obvious.
“I...I’m sorry.” She tried to look away again, but he wasn’t about to let that happen.
With both hands, Jake gently wiped the tears from her face and whispered, “Look at me.” Of course, the stubborn woman didn’t move. “Baby, look at me.”
Slowly, she raised her head. The tears still filling her eyes made him want to shove his fist into Cetro’s chest and rip the fucker’s heart out.
“You have nothing to apologize for. Anyone would have nightmares after going through what you did.” After a few more seconds, he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
She shook her head as best she could with his hands still holding it. Jake looked at her with conviction. “He will never touch you again.”
In a surprising move, Olivia abruptly pulled herself free from his grasp, and took a few steps back. Jake immediately missed the contact, but gave her the space she needed.
After inhaling and exhaling slowly a few times, she composed herself and asked, “Do you ever have nightmares?”
Jake answered honestly, “Yes.”
“About what?”
He knew what she was doing. Liv didn’t want to talk about her dream, so she was deflecting the topic of conversation onto him. He hated that she felt the need to do so, but if it helped, Jake would talk about any damn thing she wanted.
He sat back down against the tree, and thankfully, Olivia followed his lead. She didn’t go back into his arms, and he ignored the disappointment that caused. She didn’t need to hear about all of the gruesome things he sometimes saw when he closed his eyes at night, so he kept his answer vague.
“Sometimes, I dream about things I saw when I was still in the military. Ops that didn’t go exactly as planned. That sort of thing.”
She turned so she was facing him more, her shoulder leaning up against the rough bark. “You ever dream about Mikey?”
A knot instantly formed in his gut. “Used to. Not so much anymore.” A sad look came over her, and he couldn’t help but ask. “Do you?”
She lifted her other shoulder. “Sometimes. Not as often, either.” She settled back again, her head tilted up toward the jungle’s canopy of limbs and leaves. “God, I miss him.”
Fuck. He’d thought he’d be okay talking about anything she wanted, but shit. He did not want to talk about her brother.
“I always wonder what Mikey would be doing now, if he hadn’t died.” She looked over at him with half a smile. “I bet he’d be working with you.”
Jake forced one of his own. “Maybe.” He could see her wheels turning, and was relieved as hell when she changed the subject.
“Tell me about your team. What exactly do you do?” Then, she added, “The truth.”
Jake had never wanted her to know. For years, he’d lied to her about it. About so many things.
She obviously knew something was up, so it wasn’t like he could stick with the façade of being a military consultant. And it was better than talking about her brother, so Jake took a deep breath and told her the truth.
“I own R.I.S.C. It’s a private security firm.”
“Risk,” she repeated the word as if she were seeing how it felt on her tongue.
“R-I-S-C,” Jake spelling out his company’s acronym for her.
She studied him for half a second before raising a brow. “You do realize ‘risk’ is spelled with a k, right?”
He narrowed his eyes, but grinned. “Yes, smartass. It stands for Rescue, Intel, Security, and Capture.”
Olivia thought for a moment. “Clever. So, you do things like this? Rescue people like me?”
“S
ometimes.”
Jake waited for the lecture he knew was about to come. It was one that was fully deserved. He would have bet his team’s next paychecks that she was about to give him hell for lying to her all this time, but as usual, Olivia took him by complete surprise.
Looking mighty proud of herself, she spouted off, “So, I was right. All of those trips you’ve taken weren’t conferences or consultation jobs at all. They were so you could do this sort of thing, weren’t they?” Clearly a rhetorical question, she immediately followed it with, “I knew it.”
Jake felt his eyes widen as shock reverberated throughout his system. He remembered the wise crack she’d made earlier about his boring conferences, but didn’t think she truly suspected anything. How could she know?
“How could you—”
With an exaggerated roll of her eyes, Olivia interrupted him. “Give me a little credit, Jake. You didn’t actually think I bought the whole,” she deepened her voice, “‘I’m just a paper pusher for the military’ act, did you? Oh, wait. I’m sorry. You were supposed to be a consultant.” She threw in some finger quotations for added effect.
Jake would have busted up laughing if he wasn’t still reeling from the fact that Olivia was already aware of what he’d thought to be a major revelation. What surprised him just as much was that the only thing he saw behind those gorgeous, moonlit eyes was acceptance.
There was no anger or judgment. Not even disappointment. She truly was astonishing. And clearly waiting for him to tell her more about his job.
“Right. So...uh...we deal with hostage rescue, but we also do other things, like set up high-end security systems for a few companies and some private parties. We provide protection and gather important intel.”
He hesitated but decided to share it all. If they were ever going to have a chance at a serious relationship, Olivia needed to know what she’d be signing up for. “My team has also been hired to capture or, in some cases, eliminate the enemy.”
She didn’t cringe as he’d expected. Wasn’t looking at him with the horrified expression he’d always imagined she would when hearing that particular truth.
Instead, Olivia simply nodded with understanding and said, “Jobs that would normally get the government into trouble or cause a rift with other countries, that sort of thing?”
Damn, the woman always was quick. Jake smiled wide. “Exactly. We have a handler from Homeland Security. A lot of the jobs we take are contracted through him, but we also work in conjunction with state and local departments, as well as the FBI and CIA.” R.I.S.C. also had a solid relationship with the DPD, Texas Rangers, and the U.S. Marshals.
She thought for a moment. “So, you’re not actually part of the military or the government anymore?”
“No. I completed my time with the Army, then almost immediately started building the business. It’s something I’d wanted to do for a long time, so I saved every penny I could while still active duty. Don’t get me wrong, we did a lot of good in the military, but there were also times when our hands were tied. Too many things that needed to be done faster or should have been done differently, but because of red tape or bureaucratic bullshit, they didn’t go as well as they should have. By going private, the end-goal is still the same, but we’re able to bypass a lot of the crap and just go in and get the job done. With the government’s blessing.”
Olivia assessed him a moment. “You like what you do.” It was a statement, rather than a question.
“Yes.”
She looked away for a moment then back to him. “It’s dangerous.”
Another statement. Again, Jake didn’t hedge. She needed to know. “Sometimes, yes.”
“And Trevor’s part of your team?”
Jake grinned. “He is. He’s also pretty pissed at you, by the way.”
Olivia’s brows rose high. “Me? Why is he mad at me?”
“Because he’s your friend, and he thought he’d lost you, too.” Jake looked at her pointedly. “Not to mention, the whole, traipsing off to a dangerous country without so much as a heads-up first.”
She frowned in an adorable, almost pouty way. “I called you.”
It was his turn to do the eye-roll. “You left a voicemail right before you left. Not really what I’d call advanced notice, sweetheart.”
“Yeah, well it’s not my fault you were off somewhere playing Mission Impossible. But, go ahead,”—she held out her arms in a welcoming gesture—“let’s get the lecture over with.”
Jake laughed, “Nope. No lecture tonight. I’m putting that one in my back pocket and saving it for a rainy day.”
She rolled her eyes again. “Can’t wait.” Her next question took him a bit by surprise. “So, did Mikey know about R.I.S.C.?”
This time it was Jake who broke eye contact. He couldn’t look her in the eye and lie anymore. Staring out into the jungle’s darkness, he answered with another half-truth.
“Mike was...gone before I finished my time in the military. I wasn’t out of Delta until about five years ago.” He looked back up at her and gave her a half-smile. “We talked about it, though, me and Mike. During our first deployment, we’d already seen enough to know that, while the military is absolutely invaluable, we could help them out this way, as well. That’s really where the idea stemmed from. Lots of long talks between missions about something that, at the time, we thought was nothing more than a pipe dream.”
“Yet, here you are,” she spoke quietly.
“Here I am.”
Jake’s eyes locked onto hers. His lips, along with other parts of his anatomy, tingled. He thought about how she tasted. The way her tongue had danced with his. He was thinking about giving her a repeat performance when she broke the silence.
“How many people are on your team?”
Jake exhaled slowly, trying ignoring his most recent train of thought. “Six, including me. Trevor’s my SIC, or Second In Command. D’s our techie. Hill’s our bomb guy, and Mac and Coop are our two snipers. I’ve also been thinking of putting together a second team. Business is good, and there’s definitely a need, so...” He let his voice trail off.
Olivia blinked with surprise. “Wow! So, you’re like the boss.”
Jake laughed, admittedly enjoying the fact that she sounded impressed. “That’s what they say, anyway.” Then, because he was a red-blooded American male—and let’s face it, what guy doesn’t get a kick out of showing off for his girl—he shamelessly added, “I have the final say on all of the jobs we take and what our plan of action will be before going into any situation.”
Olivia shook her head in awe, but then her lips slowly straightened. “Trevor and the others...do you think they made it out okay?”
Jake’s heart rate picked up. He sure as hell hoped so. They’d definitely been through worse, but he still hated not being able to contact them.
“They’re the best at what they do. I’m sure they’re fine. Hell, they’re probably living it up at the hotel right now, waiting for us to show.”
Then, because he had to be sure, he asked, “So, you’re really not mad at me? You know, for lying to you about my job?”
She scowled at him. “I should be. You’re my best friend, Jake. Friends aren’t supposed to lie to each other.” She nudged him with her shoulder and sighed. “But, no. I’m not mad. Mainly because I already knew.”
Jake chose to ignore the part about friends lying to each other. If he didn’t, he was bound to spill it all. He’d already confessed enough for one night.
Olivia was handling the stuff about his job ten times better than he’d ever thought she would. The other, though...that shit would rip open all sorts of old wounds. Not to mention her heart.
“I still don’t get how you knew. I was pretty damn careful not to let anything slip.”
A smug expression crossed over her face. “You think you’re so sneaky. I’ll admit I didn’t know exactly what you did, but I do know you.”
“Oh, you think so?” he teased back.
She rolled her eyes. “Please. There’s no way you’d be happy just being a consultant for anyone, let alone the government. And no, I wasn’t sure on the details, but I’ve known for a long time that whatever your job actually was, it sure as hell wasn’t what you wanted me to believe.”
Jake managed some sort of choked off, half-laugh as he ran a hand across his rough jaw. “All this time, I thought I was doing such a good job at hiding it.”
Olivia snickered. “Well, for your sake, I hope you’re a lot better at hiding stuff from the bad guys than you are from me.”
His smile slipped a little, and his eyes found hers again. “I hated lying to you.”
“So, why did you?” There was no heat in the question, just bewilderment.
“To protect you.” There was no hesitation in his answer, because it was the God’s honest truth.
“Of course. Always the protector.”
She rolled those beautiful eyes again, and Jake was hit with a sudden, explosive urge to spank her for it. The image of Olivia lying face down on across his lap, her bare ass pink from the strike of his palm, flashed before him.
The surge of arousal was so intense, he damn near shot to his feet. Just imagining the erotic scene almost made him forget where they were, and that there were things about his job she still needed to hear.
Clearing his throat—something he seemed to do a lot around her—Jake said, “I’m serious, Liv. There are people out there, guys we’ve put away, who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt you if they knew about you and how important you are to me. I thought the less you knew about that part of my life, the safer you’d be. It’s why I’ve tried to keep my distance all these years.” And because he figured it was pointless to try to hide it now, he took a deep breath and added, “It’s also one of the biggest reasons I haven’t pushed to become more than just friends. I needed to keep you safe.”
Olivia didn’t respond. She just sat there, staring back at him. Jake hated that he couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
He watched as her chest rose, her lungs slowly filling with air. She looked as though she wanted to say something meaningful, but instead, she laughed it off nervously.
