by Bry Ann
“Okay we will wait here until then but then we have to go. This will be easier to find than my place.”
“Your place?” I asked mortified.
“Try and stay calm Dana. You have to trust me. You don’t have a choice. Okay? I’m not a bad guy. I’m an average joe. I played football in high school and college. I’m a coach and a trainer for hire now. I live in Missouri because I like how little people there are. I'm not married, no kids. Uh, young.”
He was trying to make me feel more comfortable with basic life facts and he was. I loosened my grip on my legs slightly. He noticed and nodded.
“I’m not going to hurt you… or Gunner,” he repeated.
I felt more comfortable but stayed in a ball. Rex didn’t question me further. He went into the restroom and seemed to be talking with some people when Alexa stormed in, I had texted her my address and room. I kept my door unlocked. I was so preoccupied with her running at me, and my desire to be hugged that I didn’t notice the angry brown-haired girl behind her… until I was wrapped in Alexa’s really shitty hug. I instantly pushed her away and crawled out of my ball to stand.
“SAM! I told you not to tell her. Gunner will die. I TOLD YOU!” I was so busy shouting I didn’t even notice Sam actually approach me. She got right in my face and smacked me. Literally slapped me.
“You back?” she said curtly.
“Uh yeah,” I said rubbing my cheek.
“Good. Now I didn’t tell Logan, and I won’t until you approve it.”
“What? Why? How did you get here?”
“Uh his jet,” she said obviously. “Sis, I gave birth to his child. Regardless of the time lapse I have him wrapped around my finger,” she said holding up a finger. I laughed. Actually laughed, despite everything.
“But there’s danger? You’re hurt? You…”
She waved a hand dismissively.
“Look don’t blame Alexa. She needed the jet and I knew it was you. I knew Logan would watch Jazmine. I wouldn’t let her leave until she told me where she was headed.”
I went to look at Alexa. Sam and I were shocked to see she looked like she’d seen a ghost. Alexa was growing out her hair and had recently dyed it bleach blonde with brown highlights. It was so normal for her. She looked beautiful. Her hair was now sitting over her eyes as she tried to process the man in front of her. Her skin was pale, and it really contrasted against her black eyeliner and purple eyeshadow. She wasn’t blinking.
“Alexa?” Sam said nervously.
Sam loved Alexa with all her heart, because Alexa was the first-person Sam ever truly let in of her own accord. As much as I loved Alexa that always stung a little. I followed Alexa’s gaze to Rex who’d just left the bathroom. He looked just as surprised, but his face didn’t just reflect surprise it also reflected deep anger and resentment.
“Alex,” he said curtly, leaning against the door frame.
“Alex?” Sam questioned in a state of shock as well. I presumed by Alexa’s reaction to this man. It dawned on both me and Sam in that moment that neither of us knew a thing about Alexa’s past.
“Rex,” Alexa responded breathlessly.
“What the hell?” Sam muttered.
“Wow shock. Your friends don’t know about me,” Rex said with obvious resentment in his voice.
“They don’t know about my past at all. It’s not personal.”
He shot her an annoyed smirk and scoffed.
“How’s it not personal Alex?” Then he looked to me and Sam. “We need to go. Now.”
Sam and I just stood there dumbfounded. My senses were now in overdrive. Sam immediately went for Alexa who, shockingly, looked on the verge of tears and helped her out the door. I stood there numb and Rex came behind me and gently pushed me forward.
“Right,” I said turning to him. “I got it. Thanks,” I muttered. He nodded and trudged ahead.
We followed him outside. I made sure to check out of the hotel first and gave a ton of money for the damage and for not saying anything. The manager gave me a nod and let me leave. We followed Rex outside where we were met with a large navy green Jeep. I froze. I was not about to get in some stranger's car. Sam immediately looked at me and then over at Alexa while Rex prepped the car. Sam seemed just as unsure about this as I did, hers was just less out of cowardice and more out of common sense. Rex came around and shot us all an annoyed look basically questioning if we were gonna get in. I could feel the snot and tears still frozen on my face. Finally, after several seconds of silence he threw an exasperated and angry look at Alexa.
“We can get in,” she said so uncharacteristically quietly. “We can trust him.”
Sam and I looked at her with dropped jaws and stiffly got in the car. How she knew we could trust him was something I was highly curious about.
I went to take the seat up front, even though I was scared, but Sam put her hand on my shoulder and nodded for me to take the back. I frowned, and she shot me an angry look and I knew I couldn’t argue.
“Just take care of Alexa,” she muttered, and I nodded.
Even with scars running down the lengths of her body and emotional scars that went even deeper Sam was still the bravest, most badass woman I’d ever met.
… and Logan was going to disown me as a sister for involving her in this.
I had to get Sam out of this, and now that Alexa was acting all weird I had to get her out as well. I should have never involved them. This was my fault. My problem.
“Okay anyone care to explain any detail… of anything?”
Despite the fact that I had the information on Gunner and why we were here both Sam and I’s gaze went directly to Alexa. Alexa immediately hunched back in her seat and scoffed at both of us.
“Don’t you think we have bigger fucking problems than my mood?” she snapped. Sam looked over at Rex and shrugged.
“Dana, do you think you are ready to talk about what happened? Rex asked softly.
Instantly I stiffened. I’d been so caught up with being with my friends that I had temporarily set aside all the feelings still coursing through me. With that one question they all came rushing back.
“Dana? Dana?” Sam asked. I instantly heard her remove her seatbelt and turn to face me. “Dana, did they hurt you?”
“Let’s wait until we get to the house,” Rex said curtly. “But then, Dana, I’m sorry but I need you to talk. Okay?”
I nodded stiffly. Alexa reluctantly scooted over and wrapped an arm around me. She sucked at physical affection, but I appreciated the effort. It seemed we were at Rex’s house in a heartbeat. Alexa gently encouraged me from the car and led us into the house. Despite Alexa’s attempt at acting uncaring and cool like she usually was I could feel her stiffen anytime Rex was near. I began to wonder who this guy was? How did he know Gunner and Alexa? He seemed so normal.
Alexa gently sat me down on a white couch. I noticed Sam was having a very serious conversation with Rex outside the front door. The house we were in was super bright. It had white tile, white couches, big open windows and everything that wasn’t white was modern and fit in well with the bright theme.
Rex walked in with Sam, whose expression gave nothing away, and Alexa immediately let me go and fidgeted her way to the other side of the couch. Rex shot her a look and smirked which only seemed to annoy Alexa. Rex briefly shook his head and turned to me.
“I need to know what happened now. Your friends can support you.”
I turned to Sam.
“Tanner was there. Tanner is….”
She knew instantly by my tears and the look in my eyes who it was. She tensed immediately.
“He won’t hurt you Dana. I won’t let him. I promise.”
I nodded, feeling a mixture of relief and guilt.
“Gunner took me to his cabin. He was so super paranoid and weird. Anytime I asked him about it he got mean, at least as mean as he ever got with me. Something was wrong.
Anyway, I realized that I left my bag at my hotel because, let’s
just say I wasn’t expecting to be at Gunner’s cabin that day. Gunner reluctantly agreed to help me get my stuff and grab some food. We walked on opposites sides of the street. We were careful! In fact, I remember thinking for the first time that he was overly careful, he was being super paranoid. The plan was to get my stuff, get some food, and then Gunner was going to scope things out, so he could take me back to Logan…”
“Who were these people? Gunner doesn’t strike me as the type of guy to be intimidated by anyone.”
“He’s not. These people… they…” I looked around the room. “It’s private.”
Rex softened. This guy was nice.
“I understand loyalty well Dana,” his eyes flashed to Alexa who cringed, “but right now we really need to know. He’ll die.”
“These men killed his parents. Gunner saw his parents get murdered when he was a boy and it was these men, with the exception of Tanner. I don’t know why he was there. Anyway, these people have been sending Gunner letters for years, torturing him… sending him horrible pictures and referencing his parents’ murders and stuff. They know about us,” I choked out. “About our … friendship. The men were in my hotel room. They didn’t touch me, but I thought they were going to. I thought they were. I fought, I really did, but there were four of them. Then Gunner came up and… he protected me. They grabbed us, and he fought until I could get away. I hid in a vent and moved the chair I used to get up there. They broke the door down and Gunner had a bloody lip and they cut his arm. He lied. He knew I was in the vent. I’m not that smart, he was the one who told me to hide in a vent if I was ever in trouble. He said that years ago. The men said they’d find me and … cut me in pieces. Even bound up Gunner said he’d never let that happen,” I choked out.
Everyone in the room was staring at me. I could see Rex battling with his desire to get more answers and be sympathetic. Sam looked absolutely devastated for me, understanding my conflict of fear and love well. Alexa seemed to snap out of whatever funk she was in. She was downright pissed. She was herself again.
“I swear to God. If …When!” she corrected, “When I see that moral less, drug dealing, psychopath I am going to hug the shit out of him and buy him a classy ass fucking meal for protecting you! I see why you him love him now.”
I shot her a wide eyed horrified look that was tangled with humiliation. Rex, on the other hand, was looking at Alexa liked she just grown a third head and threw it straight at him. He stared at her for a solid minute before clearing his throat, shaking his head and turning back to me. Alexa seemed unfazed. Whatever stupor she was in was gone and replaced by an even more aggressive form of her already super dominant personality.
Sam turned to Rex. “Before Dana speaks any further. I need to know…. what’s your investment in this?”
Everyone’s head whipped around, especially Alexa’s. Her eyes narrowed at him and Rex’s usually crystal clear blue eyes darkened in response.
“I owe Gunner my life. Ten times over,” he said curtly.
“But why?” Alexa asked. It was the first time she had addressed Rex personally.
“Why would I tell you that?” he said it calmly, but his words were anything but.
“Because my friends are trusting you!” she snapped back.
He narrowed his eyes at her dangerously.
“Friends? Well that’d be a first for you. You’d know all about trust. Wouldn’t you Alex? I’m sorry Alexa.”
Then he turned to me still fuming.
“We need every last detail of what those men said and did in that room! Even if it seems insignificant.”
… and I gave it to them.
Dana- 22 Years Old:
Logan flew out to LA on an emergency trip less than twenty fours after his spat with Sam. I was disappointed, but he promised he’d be back in a couple of days. Logan always kept his promises, so I tried not to seem too upset about it for his sake. I sulked the entire day after Logan left, but a ding on my phone quickly turned my day around. It was Sam asking if we could meet up in a couple days. I was shocked to say the least! I never thought she’d reach out me first, but I was completely elated. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a simple girl talk without having divulge all my deepest darkest secrets. Damn therapy groups.
I quickly responded yes and grinned to myself. I didn’t plan on telling Logan. As far as I could tell he was stilled pissed at her for the whole banging the gangster druggie scenario. I really hoped he’d get over that shit soon because Sam and him were perfect together, as friends or otherwise.
Another day passed, and my routine stayed the same. Always the same. The only different today was I got a call from Logan on my cell as I was on my way to lunch.
‘Hey, what’s up?” I answered.
“Hey Day, I need a favor. I’m flying back into town in twenty-four hours. By any chance, do you have any plans to see Sam?”
I furrowed my brow and felt myself become defensive of her. He’d been really mean last time they spoke.
“That’s none of your business!”
Logan sighed on the other end of the line.
“I screwed up Dana. I was an asshole. I know, okay? I’m trying to make it up to her.”
“Well then go talk to her yourself. Why do you need to barge in on our time?”
“I want to be there when she arrives to see you, so she has no choice but to talk to me.”
“What the hell Logan? Just go talk to her yourself. Don’t ambush the poor girl. Just say you are sorry.”
“You know Rogan Sallus?”
“I don’t know what that has to do with this, but yeah. He’s the guy you signed that I’m gonna be rich forever album deal with.”
“That is Sam’s dad. She was adopted, and he abandoned her and refused to help her provide for her mom….” he paused. “I dropped my contract with him.”
“WHAT?”
“The guy’s a dick. It’s not worth the money. Besides, it’s not like I don’t have a million producers who would die to work with me.”
I smirked to myself.
“This has nothing to do with the fact that he hurt Sam does it?”
“Dana leave it,” Logan warned. I dropped it. Only because his tone was so damn serious.
“Fine. You can take my time with Sam, but you owe me. Come to my place at five thirty. She’ll be there at six. I have a group I can go to and then I’ll stay in one of the other girls’ rooms.”
“I owe you big time Dana. See you tomorrow. Love you.”
With that he hung up and I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.
I’m not the only girl you love Logan.
Logan left town again and I immediately debated asking Sam over for dinner. Partly, because I was lonely and partly because I really liked her, but also as an apology. I sort of stuck my brother on her and he could be a lot to take. I knew it worked out though, based on Logan’s whole demeanor. He was lighter, kinder and overall just seemed super happy. Something he rarely was. I mean he was an easygoing guy but acting all happy. No that wasn’t like him at all. I always wondered if he really was happy in his life. I mean his life is great, but true happiness comes from feeling loved and accepted and Logan has never truly had that with anyone other than me.
Sam beat me to the punch though. She sent me a super sarcastic text basically asking to meet up. I knew her sarcasm had to do with the fact that she’d reached out to me twice now. I’d deduced she hasn’t had friends before me and Logan, so I imagined she was feeling super vulnerable. Well, what she didn’t know is however vulnerable she was feeling was nothing compared to how anxious I was feeling. Social skills were not really something that could be learned from a therapist and a brother who’s never there.
I put a ton of work into the dinner. Sam had to work late, but it was no problem. I suck at cooking, but I made the best dinner I could and set a nice table. I cleaned my room to perfection. I wanted her to feel comfortable, to be impressed. She was used to hanging with Logan. I’m so di
fferent from him, that scared me a bit. He sets a really high bar.
I got dressed and changed like six hundred times, but the only constant theme in my outfits was to make sure my arms were covered. My self-harm scars didn’t really bother me that much anymore, but I knew I’d be self-conscious about them my first time with Sam. She could ogle at them like everyone else another time.
Sam came over and was nothing but nice and gracious, which just confirmed my suspicion that her sarcastic and standoffish personality was just a wall she put up. I’d spent years in therapy, I know a wall when I see one! Sam and I joked about Logan for a bit and then it turned serious when I mentioned that Logan trusted her. She seemed genuinely distressed by this. I tried to act nonchalant, but I was really searching her. As much as I liked Sam I didn’t want to see Logan get hurt by the first girl he’d ever loved. Especially when he didn’t even know he loved her. I didn’t want him to find that out when he got his heart broken. It made me feel good that she sees seemed terrified of hurting Logan. We said bye and before she left I made sure to emphasize to her how much her being around meant to me. I let the word friend slip once, but I made sure to respect her issues and was careful to not use it again. I understand issues.
It was several weeks later that life got complicated. Logan was in LA; Sam and I hadn’t seen each other in a while and we were just all busy with our own lives. I was tidying up my place before heading out to look out potential apartments when I got a call from Logan. I could hear all these people hustling behind him, so Logan was all but screaming into the speaker to try and talk over all the background noise. Basically, he said that Sam’s mom called him and told him he was worried about her. Logan seemed to believe it was probably one of Sam’s moods, but he wanted me to check on her. To make sure she really was okay. I hurriedly told him I would and texted Sam immediately. Logan seemed chill about the whole thing, but I respected the fact that he still had me check, because I had a weird feeling. I was pretty sure Sam’s mom knew her inside and out. Better than Logan did. She’d know if she was just in a “mood”. I had this sinking feeling in my gut that something was actually wrong.
