by Bry Ann
“What the….” I whispered. Gunner immediately went to action pulling Rex into the other room and I went to Alexa. I sat down next to her, not knowing what to do or what the hell happened.
“Alexa,” I said hesitantly. She didn’t respond. She sat staring straight ahead. “Alexa please answer me.”
“He hates me,” she whispered as a single tear rolled down her face. “He hates me and it’s my fault.”
I bit my lip.
“Alexa, how do you know Rex?”
Alexa looked at me with tear filled eyes.
“I need Sam. I’m so sorry Dana. Tell Sam I’m so sorry. I need her.”
She tucked herself into a ball and cried again. I wasn’t offended. All I wanted was for Alexa’s pain to go away. I stood up, grabbed my cell phone and walked outside the apartment. The phone rang three times before Sam picked it up. It was the longest three rings of my life.
“Dana, it’s so good to hear from you. Logan’s been… well, he hasn’t left his office in three days. How are you?”
“Alexa’s in trouble!” I blurted out. Sam’s tone changed instantly.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Gunner and I were out and when we came back we heard screaming and when we walked in Alexa was on the floor crying like her world was over and Rex looked despondent and hurt as shit. Sam, I don’t know what happened, but she keeps asking for you.”’
“I’m on my way,” she said without hesitation. “Can you please do me a favor Dana? Can you please talk to Logan? He’s a wreck. He… I won’t defend his actions, but please just talk to him.”
“Sam I’m sorry…”
Sam sighed, and I could hear her throwing things in a bag.
“Dana, I never wanted to pull this card. I hate myself for this, but you owe me. I literally would never say that, but Logan is my fiancé, he’s hurting, I don’t know what else to do.”
“Put him on the phone.”
“Dana, I’m sorry,” Sam sounded desperate. “I would never….”
“I know Sam, it’s okay. Get your fiancé.”
“Thanks Dana. I love you for this. Thank you.”
A few minutes of silence ensued and then I heard shuffling coming from the speaker of my cell phone.
“Dana,” Logan croaked out.
“Speaking.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I thought maybe it would give you closure seeing them. I’m sorry I gave them money. I felt bad about cutting them off. It had nothing to do with me not loving you or not thinking you were worth it. I just couldn’t live with myself. I don’t know if that makes me a bad person for giving them money after all they did to you, but I never meant to hurt you. And,” he paused for a second. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you in the ways I should have been. I’m so, so sorry. I just never got it. I’m so proud of you.”
All my emotions were caught in my throat. I could barely talk.
“I… know,” was all I could say.
“I’m coming out with Sam. Jazmine is staying with Ms. Arnette and another kid she watches. Jazzy loves it here. I love you Dana. You’ve turned into such amazing woman. I’m so proud you are my sister.”
With that he hung up and I cried in the hallway for a bit. I’ve always wanted to hear those words, especially from him. Eventually I composed myself and walked back in the room. My jaw dropped when I saw the scene in front of me. Rex was in the kitchen making coffee, seemingly calm, and Gunner was helping Alexa off the floor and she was laughing a little.
“Who are you?” I asked in complete shock.
Gunner let out a sly smile as he set Alexa down and came over to me.
“You were supposed to help your friend.”
Gunner was all up in my space, lighting my body on fire and he knew it. He was thoroughly amused. I stepped out of his way.
“I… I was,” I stuttered and then turned to Alexa who was now smirking. “Sam’s on her way. With Logan.”
“It’s still really fucking weird Logan Prescott is coming to my condo.”
“Yeah, try being his sister. You never get used to it.”
Everyone laughed and for the next several hours we drank coffee and watched the movie “Bounty Hunter”, my pick to taunt Gunner. It was around 7PM when Sam pushed the door open with a cocked eyebrow. She looked exhausted from traveling. She was wearing an AC/DC T-shirt with a pair of ripped jeans.
“Um, why is the front door broken?”
“Gunner kicked it in when he heard me and Rex fighting,” Alexa said with a shrug. It was clear Alexa’s wall was back up in full capacity and we all threw her a sad look, but especially Sam.
Sam went right over and sat next to her.
“I hear you’re causing all sorts of trouble bitch.”
Alexa let out a small sad smile.
“Thanks for coming.”
Sam gave a firm nod.
“Anything to pass Jazmine onto somebody else.”
She winked, clearly joking. They kept talking, but I felt Logan’s eyes on me the whole time. I turned to face him. He looked so uncomfortable. It was weird beyond belief to see my brother like that. I stood and walked over to him, giving Gunner eye contact on the way over. For some reason he was the inspiration behind my next move. I stuck my hand out to Logan.
“Truce?”
Logan’s eyes watered and he skipped my hand altogether and pulled me in for a giant hug. I almost couldn’t breathe.
“Logan, Logan,” I coughed out patting his back. He eventually let me go and looked at me.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too bro. It’s okay, I want you to have contact your parents. Talk to them, pay them. Honestly, I’m okay with it. They never hurt you. I just want you to be happy. You’ve been miserable for years because of this and I'm just realizing it. I have a life now. I should have never reacted the way I did. I just caught off guard and wasn’t able to process my emotions healthfully. I don’t care about them enough to care if you have contact with them.”
“Are you sure? It won’t be for closeness, it’s mainly for my conscious.”
“I know. I have one condition though.”
“Anything.”
I gave Logan a smirk.
“You have to introduce them to Sam and let me know how that goes.”
“Oh fuck,” Logan groaned. “Maybe I shouldn’t keep up contact. Sam will annihilate them.”
I let out a deep belly laugh and patted Logan on the back before going back to sit next to Gunner, who was looking at me proudly.
“We have news to tell you guys,” I said once everyone was seated. I noticed Logan sitting up straighter. I looked over at Gunner for reassurance and he squeezed my thigh gently to urge me to keep going. “There’s no better time to say this than now because everyone is here and in a good mood. Um, okay… Gunner and I are moving.”
Logan looked completely shocked, same with Sam. Alexa already knew so she just patted me on the back, and Rex was still watching Alexa with narrowed eyes. He seemed so confused by her actions every time she was there for one of us.
“What?” Logan finally asked. His eyes were narrowed at Gunner, who was not at all intimidated by my brother. “You can’t leave Nashville.”
“Logan, I understand you’re feel defensive right now, but I have to do this for me. It won’t be forever, but after everything that’s happened I need to get away for a while. I need it.”
I looked at him, desperate for him to understand.
“And where does Gunner fall into this?”
“You still hate him Logan? For real. Come on, you know he’d never hurt me. Gunner comes with me. That’s how it is.”
“I don’t think he’ll hurt you, but his life choices will.”
“And yours haven’t?”
“It’s different.”
“Bullshit, and I have discussed everything with Gunner and he has more than proven himself. I trust him, and before you ask what Gunner has done to prove his loyalt
y it is none of your business. It is between me and him. I more than deserve your trust now Logan.”
Sam put her hand on his back as he leaned over and put rubbed his hands over his face.
“I think it’s a great idea. I totally get it. Plus, it gives all of us a nice vacation spot. Where are you moving?” Sam asked with a bright tone that sounded a little fake to me. I appreciated her effort though.
“Yeah, where are you going to live?” Logan snapped. “I’m not paying for this!”
I took a deep breath. I knew he was angry because he didn’t want to lose me. It’s what Logan did to protect himself. It was still hard not having his support on this though.
“I’m more than capable of finding a place to live,” Gunner jumped in.
“Yeah, with your drug money.”
“Logan!” Sam snapped.
Gunner narrowed his eyes on Logan.
“I already own a place.”
“Where?”
“Here. Missouri.”
“I need air.”
Logan stormed out and attempted to slam the door, but it was already broken so it made a weird nose and bounced back. We all looked at each other uncomfortably.
“I’ve got this,” I said standing up. Everyone looked at me unsure, even Sam, but I knew my brother. It started out just the two of us. I watched him build his life to what is today. I just had to convince him to give me the same liberty.
I walked out the door and closed it gently, hoping it would stay. Logan was pacing the hallway like a caged lion. I saw his security downstairs from the gap in the stairs.
“Logan,” I said softly.
His head fell to his chest and he stopped walking. I walked over to him and grabbed a granola bar out of my back pocket. I carried it with me in case I got hungry, but now it had a bigger purpose.
“I don’t have a cookie sorry.”
He smiled.
“I’m sorry. I was an asshole.”
“You are an asshole,” I corrected.
He laughed and took the granola bar from me. “I’m happy for you.”
“You are?”
“Yeah Dana. You’re incredible.”
I blushed and nodded sheepishly.
“Well, nothing compares to you, but I’m doing okay.”
Logan rolled his eyes.
“Fame,” he scoffed. “That’s not bravery Dana. That’s not success. Success is fighting with your own mind every single day; day in, day out and making it to the other side. Building a life despite your circumstances. You are ten times the success story that I am Dana. Don’t ever doubt that. I just ask one thing if you are going to move.”
“What is it?” I asked, choked up.
“You need to continue therapy while you are here. At least three times a week like you promised. You still have to deal with what happened. That doesn’t just go away, because you found love.”
“I know. I will. I promise. Gunner’s getting therapy too, so he’ll hold me accountable.”
“Gunner’s getting therapy? You’re fucking with me.”
“No, I’m actually not. I asked him too a while ago and one argument later he agreed. If you laugh at him I swear to God I will leak the most embarrassing story I can think of about you to the press.”
“Geez, in that case I won’t.”
“I’m serious. He already feels weird about it, but he needs it. Therapy isn’t just for girls Logan. I think it’s brave of him.”
“You have my word, but wow are you protective of him.”
“Yes I am. We should get back inside.”
Logan punched my arm and I punched him back. I saw the sad but proud look he gave me when he thought I wasn’t looking. As we walked in the door I couldn’t help but feeling like everything had come full circle.
Present Day: Chapter 18:
We all spent the whole day in Gunner’s cabin, renovating it, erasing the bad and replacing it with good. I told Gunner I wanted a cozy house, and he rarely argued with me, so he just kissed me and agreed. He replaced his couch with a giant futon that you sink into when you sit on it. One of those ones that are hard to leave and your legs flail around a little before you are able to plant them firmly on the floor. Yep. Perfection. We put it right across from the fireplace.
Underneath all the furniture was a giant fluffy rug. On the walls we put a bunch of pictures of us, Jazzy, Logan and Sam, Alexa, various locations we wanted to visit. The walls were filled with dreams, memories and goals, something I had always wanted for Gunner. I saw the flicker of surprise in his eyes as we finished our house.
We couldn’t have done the renovations without everyone’s help. It was hard to go back in the cabin for Gunner and me, but especially for Gunner. A lot happened there. I stayed back until some of the stuff was removed. I couldn’t look at it exactly how it was when I was held by Tanner. Sam and I prepared a bunch of food for everyone at Rex’s. Rex was awesome and helped out with everything. Alexa and him even teamed up to get stuff out of the house. It was shocking. Since their major blowout they had been trying to be nicer to each other.
It took ten hours but eventually everyone left. Sam and Logan were staying at a fancy hotel, which Logan insisted on. Sam obviously didn’t care. One thing I adored about her was despite Logan giving her the world and all the material possessions she could have ever desired, she hadn’t changed a bit. Alexa didn’t say where she was staying. Once everyone was gone I turned to Gunner with a smile on my face. I walked over to him and ran my hands down his chest.
“Do you like it?”
He nodded. I knew he loved it, sometimes he was just quiet. I reached up and kissed him quickly. As I was pulling away he grabbed my head and pulled me towards him again. Instantly we were frantically tearing each other’s clothes off. Before I knew it were both naked, panting on the futon. He kissed me hard.
“You love me?” he asked. I pulled my head back and searched his face. He looked vulnerable for a second, a crack in his amour. He needed me to say it, to prove it.
“I trust you with everything. I love you.”
He kissed me hard and then picked me up and threw me on the bed. He grabbed my hands and used a piece of his t-shirt to tie my hands to the head board. My breathing picked up and he ran his fingers down my body slowly.
“Gunner,” I whispered. Instantly he ran his fingers along my sex. I moaned. He said nothing as he continued to go to work on my body until I was a sweating, quivering mess.
“Take me now,” I whispered after a while. “Please take me.”
I tried to pull out of my hand ties, but I couldn’t. He looked at my hands and gently untied them. No words. He just got it.
If I thought I loved him before I re fell in love with him in that moment. For understanding. For not making me feel ashamed of what I needed. Especially in a moment as intimate as this one.
I grabbed his face and kissed him back.
“I love you so much. I’m honestly crazy about you. You make me so happy. You make me feel so grateful I never gave up. You make it all worth it.”
Then Gunner made love to me in our small cabin in Missouri away from all the press, the past and everything I thought I was destined to be.
Epilogue (Sam):
Life is a roller coaster, a crazy one that leaves you dizzy and slightly nauseous, but if the line wasn’t so dang long you’d ride it again and again.
When Dana broke the news that she was moving I felt like my heart had been ripped in two. I have always had a soft spot for her, and the old me would have selfishly fought her tooth and nail to stay. Begged her to stay with me. The new me, the mother in me, knew it was the best thing for her when I saw the light in her eyes as she spoke. It was something that was never there before. I found where I belonged in this world. Who I belonged with. Dana deserved the same thing, even if it is different than what would have picked for her or where I wanted her.
Logan, Jazmine and I were also happy. Jazmine took ballet classes, which were a nightmare. Findi
ng a place to take her that was private, and no one would say anything about her being Logan Prescott’s daughter was hard, almost impossible. It took a large sum of money to figure that one out. Logan and I briefly considered adopting a foster child, but at the time we wanted it more of a stereotypical obligation than an actual desire to have another kid. I wasn’t cut out to be a mother and Logan still loved his job. Logan took a lot of time off for me and Jazmine. I needed help while I was in the initial stages of healing and Jazmine needed time to get to know her father. However, things have calmed down a bit now and Logan had a serious talk with me about a movie he really wanted to do. I hated that he’d be gone sixteen hours a day. I hated with a passion the press that came with it. However, I said yes to marry him, and I couldn’t ask him to give up what he loves completely. He had already drastically cut back for me. Compromise was essential.
Speaking of getting proposed, that was the craziest thing I had ever experienced. I never in my wildest dreams expected to get proposed to. Logan did it in a way that was best suited for me, quietly by our lake, which he had now purchased completely.
So here I am, sitting across from Dana, Gunner, Rex, Logan and Alexa. My family. I could almost feel a hand on my shoulder. My mom. She’d be so proud. I wish she could be here for real. I wished her presence could stay with me all the time, but I knew she had to go back to watching over Jazmine. I was only a good mother because Jazmine was such a perfect daughter for me. She understood me, and I her. Instead of getting another kid and risking fucking it up Logan and I purchased a foster home that Ms. Arnette runs. We staffed it with the best people, best supplies and best teachers. We hoped to make it a chain. I wanted to transform the foster family industry. I played a big role in helping these kids get adopted. It’s how I spent the majority of my time when I wasn’t with Jazmine.
I watched Gunner and Dana closely. It literally blew my mind that the tank I sold drugs with back in the day was the same man sitting with Dana. You could see how much he respected her in his eyes. Logan hated them together and I did at a time, but I see their relationship for what it is now. It is different than most. Most people start with the passion, the romance. Then get to the more intimate details. That’s not Gunner and Dana. They are clearly attracted to each other and all that jazz, but more than that they get each other. They had a strong friendship first. They understand each other in a way that makes my relationship with Logan look like childsplay. Gunner could read Dana like a book and Dana was ferociously protective of Gunner.
