“Don’t miss me too much,” he whispered back before releasing her.
“It’s going to be hard but I’ll do my best.”
“And I’ll do my best not to throw up,” Tate quipped, moving up so he was side by side with Isabelle again.
Jace pushed away the frustration he felt towards the guy and forced a smile on his face; reminding himself that even though he was a judgmental dick, he was also the reason Isabelle looked giddy with happiness today. For her sake he was willing to play nice.
Turning away from them and grabbing Maia by the elbow firmly, he began to tow her away, his grip tight enough that she couldn’t escape. He ignored Matt’s protests and kept pulling her along until they were out of eye and ear shot before he spun her to face him.
“What the hell, Maia?” he snapped.
“What are you talking about?” she replied with a blank face.
“Don’t.”
The blank face was immediately replaced with wide, teary brown eyes and a trembling lower lip as she looked up at him, the very picture of devastation.
“Jace…I...”
Leaning over he pinched her hard on the inside of the elbow so she yelped, breaking off her sentence.
“Jace!” she shrieked in fury.
“I am not Matt or one of your little lap dogs,” he hissed. “I’m also not an idiot, no matter how I look. I am your brother and that means I know when you are fake crying or real crying. I know when you’re full of shit and I know when you’re up to something, so let’s just pretend for a moment you respect me enough to be upfront with me.”
All games and pretenses ripped away, Maia sighed deeply. “Believe it or not I’m trying to help.”
“Help? By flirting with the new kid so your boyfriend has an anxiety attack? Pushing the girl I like towards another guy? Making it super awkward for everyone? I mean, I know I’m a pretty shitty brother but Jesus, Maia, couldn’t you have just dipped my hand in water while I’m sleeping? This is a bit extreme.”
Maia’s eyebrows flew up after his little rant. “First off, wow. Secondly, Matt is my whole heart and I would never leave him and, third and most importantly, I’m doing you a favour. You’re just too dumb to see that.”
He pulled her over to a bench for further privacy. “Explain to me then, since I’m too dumb to understand on my own.”
“Look, I don’t know if you’ve realised this but Tate is one hundred percent in love with Isabelle. And not in the ‘you’re hot, I want you to be my girl’ but in the ‘you are the heart beating in my chest and I would die for you,’ kind of way, and she is completely oblivious to that.”
“You’re not telling me anything I don’t know, Maia,” he replied tightly.
“My point is that because she doesn’t know how he truly feels, it means she doesn’t know how she truly feels. I’m trying to pull everything to the surface so you can tell if you’re just heading straight for heart ache or if you really do have a chance.”
She spoke to him like she would a wounded animal and he hated her for knowing how vulnerable and weak he really was.
“I don’t need your help, I’m older and can handle myself,” he told her harshly. “Butt out for once.”
“You’re older by twenty minutes which, in case you didn’t know, isn’t a lot of time to gain the life experience required to fuel an ego that big.”
“Stop playing your games and let me handle it, ok?”
“Whatever,” she muttered, stalking away so briskly Jace had to jog to catch up.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m not spending two hours of my life I will never get back with an ungrateful, oblivious idiot!
“Maia stop, we’re wasting time.”
She spun around and shoved him away from her. “Go home, I can do this myself.”
“Just let me help you,” he said in exasperation.
“Why? You never let anyone.”
Bam. That went right to the heart.
She was right of course, but that didn’t make the truth any easier to hear.
“How am I meant to get home then?” he asked when what he really meant to say was I’m sorry for everything.
“I’m sure you’ll handle it,” she sneered, moving swiftly again until she was just another body blending into a crowd of strangers.
Jace let out a deep breath and turned away, trying to work out his next move. Feeling around in his pockets, he realised with dread that he’d left his wallet and phone in the car.
A laugh bubbled out of his lips.
He couldn’t even muster the energy to be angry and he wasn’t even the least bit surprised.
“Guess I’m walking,” he muttered to himself. “Should just make it to the party if I start now.”
“You do know talking to yourself is a sign you’re crazy, right?”
He whirled around to see Maia watching him with amusement in her eyes.
Now he was surprised.
His crazy, annoying, beautiful sister had come back for him.
“I thought you were leaving me to walk home,” he said carefully, not wanting to set her off again.
She eyed him shrewdly for a few moments then brushed past him. “You really are an idiot. Hurry up. The decorations aren’t going to buy themselves.”
Despite her small stature she was off like a shot. Jace had to run briskly to catch up to her once he’d stopped staring dumbly.
“Hey, Maia,” he called out once they had reached the store.
She didn’t stop but her pace slowed significantly so he knew she had heard him.
He sighed deeply. He hated apologising, it felt like ripping teeth out… but if anyone deserved a rare apology from him, it would be his sister.
“Listen,” he began, as he walked pace for pace with her. “I’m an arsehole. It’s in my nature and I’m-”
“What do you think about this?” she asked, completely ignoring his attempted apology as she held up a bright pink, feather boa.
“Maia, I know you just try and look out for me, even when I don’t deserve it and what I really want is to just…”
“Do you think if I picked a theme without checking with Ben he’d be mad?”
Jace grabbed her arm, but gently this time. “Maia, just stop, OK? I’m trying to…”
Maia shoved him off her impatiently. “I know what you’re trying to do, Jace. I’m not stupid. And as much as I would love to watch you choke out an apology, I’m not interested in receiving one. What I am interested in, however, is getting these decorations so I can go home and get dolled up, OK?”
Jace stared at her for a moment trying to process it all. He was mean to her, had grabbed her in a way which would most likely bruise and she was giving him a free pass.
Without another word he pulled her in for a hug, squeezing her slightly, hoping that this unexpected show of affection told her everything he was too emotionally shut off to express.
Slim arms wrapped around him and squeezed him back.
“You’re such a douche,” she told him playfully, ruffling his hair before turning back to the decorations.
“And the answer is yes,” he said over her shoulder. “Anything pink or themed will definitely get you in trouble.”
“Kill joys, the whole lot of you.”
Jace hid a smile as he followed her dutifully around the store, putting away some of the more outrageous things she tossed into his basket, and enjoying the complete normalcy of the afternoon together.
He honestly couldn’t even remember the last time it was just the two of them, spending time together freely without an air of doom or drama surrounding them. For years, things had been tense between them. Jace had done everything in his power to shield his Mum, his Sister, from the monster hiding inside his Father. It made normal day to day activities difficult.
He bore every shameful secret he discovered, every beating, every emotional scar as a sort of pride, because if he was hurting it meant that they weren’t. Being Daddy’s l
ittle girl, Maia spent years battling against Jace. Seeing only the hostility running one way, and not understanding the cause, believing the honeyed lies their father told to isolate Jace from his family. It was only when Maia witnessed their father in one of his drunken rages, almost beating Jace to death that the brutal, life changing truth was forced upon her.
Jace winced, still feeling the wounds as fresh as if it were yesterday.
Maia had reported it, hysterical, begging them to protect Jace at all costs. Their Mum sat next to him whilst he was recovering in the hospital, more bruises than boy, the same dead look in her eyes.
The police came, there was drama, and promises were made. Jace was released from the hospital, things were better… for a little while. Conditions had been set. Their Dad stopped drinking. They began to rebuild their family, bit by bit, until one night…it just all fell apart.
Maia and Matt were out celebrating their first year anniversary, which was practically a miracle for any thirteen-year-old. When Maia didn’t return home by curfew, their Dad didn’t hesitate to break his promise. Their Mother cried and begged, but he continued to imbibe, and quickly.
When Maia strolled in two hours after curfew, dancing on cloud nine, he had drunk way past the point of reason. The minute he locked eyes on Maia, his rage boiled over. Lunging forward, he had thrown her against a wall, screaming about responsibility, and other incoherent nonsense.
But before he could even raise his fist to her, Jace had stepped up and hit his own Father, striking back for the first time. As his Dad went to hit him again, his Mum stepped in the way and took the blow meant for him, her eye swelling almost instantly. That’s what triggered his rage, seeing his Mum and Sister in pain.
With adrenaline coursing through his veins, he struck his Father again and again, with such force until his Dad hit the floor, and did not get back up. He did not respond when their Mother screamed for one of them to call an ambulance. He didn’t stir as she pounded on his chest, begging him to wake up.
They were the worst moments of his life - standing there watching his unresponsive Father and hysterical Mother and Sister. Terrified that he’d killed his Dad, and disgusted with himself that he was the reason his Mother’s eyes were filled with so much fear.
He tried to shake off that feeling, knowing it was years ago now, and he should be living in the present, but he was trapped in his memories, powerless.
His Dad had lived, but they were never a family again after that. Multiple restraining orders were put out. A quickie divorce was set in place, and a few weeks after the divorce, when his Dad came back for his stuff, it was the last time Jace ever saw him.
His Mother had barely spoken to him since. She couldn’t even really stand to look at him.
He couldn’t bring himself to blame her as he had single handedly ruined their entire family. He was the reason his Mother was alone in life and, to make it worse, he wore the face of his Father as a constant reminder to her of what she had lost.
It was why he became so caught up with Kimberley and with parties and drugs. He needed those vices, the numb feeling that went with it to survive. The drug induced haze softened the hard edges of guilt, self-loathing and pain that went hand in hand with Maia’s pitied glances and his Mother’s haunted gaze.
“Jace!”
Maia’s sharp voice, and jab right into his chest, pulled him to the surface.
“What?” he gasped, disoriented.
“You’ve just been standing here like a zombie for like ten minutes. What the hell is going on?” she demanded, before noticing the look on his face. “Hey, are you OK?”
There was the pity again, the epic sadness that she would no doubt always associate with him. A pathetic screw up always, with no room to grow into anything else.
Maia slapped him firmly across the face.
“Get out of your head,” she instructed. “It’s much nicer out here.”
“Maia, do you ever blame me?”
“Stop it,” she said again firmly. “Get out of your head, leave the past in the past and stop reliving things you can’t change and could never have stopped.”
“OK.”
Maia clapped her hands together in delight. “Perfect! Oooh. Isabelle should have unpacked all her clothes by now - I wonder what she’ll wear tonight.”
She wiggled her eyebrows at him seductively which of course only make him feel nervous.
“Maia, you’re going to be on your best behavior tonight, right?” he asked seriously.
She winked back. “I got a plan big bro, just trust me.”
She skipped off, leaving Jace feeling more nervous than ever.
“You didn’t really answer my question,” he called after her. “Maia? Maia, what plan?”
If history had anything to do with it, whatever Maia had planned could only mean trouble for him, but then again when had trouble ever left him alone?
*
He sat outside on his faded blue couch as he watched the sun begin to set. The
neighbourhood was quiet and peaceful, the birds had long since given up their song and there was just a small breeze brushing against his skin.
Jace closed his eyes, opened his arms wide and reveled in the tranquility he rarely experienced.
He was tired, exhausted really, after taking a stroll down memory lane, and his body felt bruised and aching even though it had been years since he’d received any kind of beating.
He swiped at the sweat on his forehead impatiently and wondered why the hell he was remembering that stuff now? He hardly ever let himself go back to that place, for fear of not being able to come back from it.
Looking over at the adjoining balcony it hit him - Isabelle. Ever since she’d come along he’d felt himself changing, wanting to be a better man for her which had included giving up the usual chemically induced state he chose in order to avoid being overwhelmed by the raw feelings of fear and despair. Was it all worth this one girl he barely knew?
“Jace?”
He jumped high in the air, his heart racing and breathing uneven as he looked over to where his Mum was watching him.
“Jesus Mum!” he gasped, clutching his chest.
She held her hands up. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to startle you. I did knock…twice.”
He nodded, moving more comfortably on the couch for a good look at his Mother.
Although everyone thought he and Maia were exactly the same, even without being twins, Jace and those closest to them knew Maia was their Mother all over and he was their Dad - at least in looks.
His Mum had dark brown hair instead of the near black he and Maia shared, and her eyes were brown like Maia’s, not the blue he inherited from their father, but everything else was just an aged version of his sister. Her hair was long and straight, her body waif like and petite, they shared the same full lips and wicked smile… not that his mother smiled much anymore. And most noticeably, Maia and his Mum had the same shaped eyes framed with crazy long eye lashes.
He eyed her sharply, realising this was the first time in a long while they were both face to face and really appraising each other.
She looked tired, so incredibly tired, with dark circles under her eyes that didn’t look like they would fade anytime soon. There was a subtle trembling of her lips, and her shoulders slumped like she had the whole world crushing her and she’d given up pushing back.
All. His. Fault.
“You look tired,” she finally said to him, but stepped further away instead of closer to inspect him.
“Shopping with Maia will do that to you.”
She didn’t reply, just stared at him with eyes that had seen too much and a quivering mouth that would never say the words he knew she longed to throw at him.
“Can I help you with something?” he asked politely.
“I just wanted to see if you were home for dinner tonight,” she replied, looking away.
It hurt that she couldn’t stand to look at him, but this was the first tim
e she’d actively sought him out in months, so he should probably be grateful for even getting that much.
“No. Ben’s having a barbecue tonight so we’re all set. But thanks.”
She nodded at him, but hovered slightly at the doorway, hesitating.
“Is there something else?” he asked kindly.
She reached out to touch him, but then seemed to think better of it, and drew her hand back in close to her.
“Just watch after your sister tonight and take care.”
Jace nodded and turned away. Of course she would be thinking about Maia’s safety and not his.
“I always do, you don’t have to ask,” he said with a flick of his hand, dismissing her.
She hesitated another moment before turning away. “I know.”
It was so quiet he was pretty sure he had dreamed it, but the thought that she might still care for him and know that he would do anything to protect his family was comforting.
Isabelle’s balcony doors opened and his head whipped to face her on instinct.
She appeared moments later, a sheepish smile on her face, as she walked to the end of the balcony to meet him.
“Hey, you,” he said, a huge smile lighting up his face.
“Hey, yourself.”
“Did you come for some air, or were you looking for me?”
She grinned back sheepishly. “Would you believe I wanted your opinion on my outfit?”
“Me? Not that I’m not flattered, but I would just assume you’d go to Maia or Tate before asking me.”
Isabelle winced slightly. “Maia is being super weird around me and Tate, so I couldn’t ask her, and I need an opinion from someone who doesn’t see me as a stupid little sister.”
Jace knew very well Tate didn’t see her as his little sister, but he wasn’t going to argue against being her first pick.
“Well, what do you need me to do?” he asked, lounging on the rail.
Isabelle took a slight step back and then motioned to her outfit like it was a prize to be won on a game show.
Home is Where the Heart Is (Home #1) Page 15
