by Brook Wilder
“We weren’t, actually. I didn’t realize it at the time since we always had clothes and food in the fridge, but looking back we were pretty close to the poverty line. I didn’t even realize until the end of elementary school that not everyone used food stamps at the grocery store.”
I’d looked away from Emmett while I spoke to hide the shame in my face. I knew he wouldn’t judge me for it, but I was so used to hiding my past to fit in with my wealthier colleagues and it was a hard habit to break. When I looked back, he had an expression of both surprise and understanding.
“Shit, I didn’t realize. I’d only assumed because you’re Ivy League and all.”
“I don’t blame you, most people assume that too. My parent’s pushed me all through high school for perfect grades so I could get a scholarship to a good school. Between student loans and holding down two jobs, I managed to make it through law school and graduate near the top of my class.”
“Sounds busy.”
“Oh yeah, it definitely was. I had no social life and my college boyfriend broke up with me halfway through my junior year because I was too busy to see him. ”
“Was it worth it?” Emmett asked.
“Some days I think so, others not,” I said. “I look back at my high school friends who never left our home town and see them smiling and happy with their families and kids. It does make me a little jealous.”
“Well, I can tell you from experience that it definitely is worth it,” Emmett said with a sideways glance. “I tried so hard to get out of this town and away from the Martyrs. I actually got pretty good grades in school and an acceptance letter with a good scholarship for a state school over in New Mexico.”
“What happened?”
“My dad was obsessed with Knox and me ‘continuing his legacy’ in the club. I think he was really just jealous that I had a ticket out of here while he’d been stuck his whole life. I found out one night that he’d gone behind my back and called the college, telling them I wasn’t going and made up some story about getting arrested for drugs so they’d take away my scholarship money. I was so goddamn mad at him, especially when he acted like he was just acting in my best interest. I was so set on proving him wrong so I worked my ass off to save up enough money to move away.
The day I decided I had enough to skip town, though, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I tried to convince her to come with me, but she just couldn’t leave her family. I tried to keep it a secret from my father, but he found out somehow and told Wendell. The two of them told me that I had to stay and ‘do right by my woman’. If I left, they’d hunt me down and drag me back here, no matter how far I ran. So I stayed, took the Sergeant at Arms position and used every penny of my savings to make sure Lizzy had everything she needed.”
“Was it worth it?” I asked.
“Definitely,” he said quietly.
I watched as Emmett opened another beer, realizing how similar we actually were. Had my parents been less supportive of my dreams or if his dad had actually let him go, our positions could have been switched. Maybe I wouldn’t be a member of an outlaw biker gang, but I’d definitely be stuck in my hometown, living pay check to pay check while my dreams got pushed to the side. I reached out and put a hand on Emmett’s arm.
“I guess we’re not so different,” he said with a wry smile.
I said nothing in reply, and, instead leaned in to kiss him. I didn’t linger there long and, as I pulled back his eyes met mine. Not only did I see the real Emmett again, but I also saw a part of me reflected back. I knew then that I couldn’t deny my true feelings for this man a second longer. I loved Emmett, and there was no going back.
Chapter 18
I pressed my mouth against Emmett’s and felt the rigid surprise in his jaw. After a moment, I felt him relax into me and the harsh lines of his mouth turned plush and soft. I used my tongue to part his lips and tasted the sweetness of his mouth mixed with the last lingering notes of our dinner. We sat there on the bed, just kissing for a while, and I felt a steady heat start to rise from my core. It was a delicious warmth that seemed to spread outward, forming a barrier between us and the rest of the world. Nothing else mattered or existed to me now, and I was utterly focused on Emmett as we kissed.
He gently slipped his hand under my shirt and around to my lower back. He pulled me closer to him, deepening our kiss while his fingers wandered up to the clasps of my bra. He deftly unhooked it and the hanging fabric grazed my nipples, causing a bolt of sweet electricity to shoot up through me. I broke away from our kiss to gasp and our eyes met as his hand found my newly freed breast. I closed my eyes and let my mind go blank as his warm touch massaged both of my breasts in equal turn. Considering the time and care he was taking, Emmett was going to be an expert on the shape of my body by the end of the night.
When his fingers found my nipple and started to tease it, I moaned with pleasure. My voice grew louder as he pinched and rolled the skin in his fingers, and I felt a throbbing pulse growing between my legs. Just when the pleasure of it all grew unbearable, he stopped to pull my shirt and bra off. He just sat there for a moment, gazing at my figure in open adoration, like he was attempting to memorize every curve. Normally this sort of attention would make me feel self-conscious, but in this moment, I felt like a goddess.
“Do you like what you see?” I asked as I arched my back slightly.
“Oh God, yes,” he mumbled as he climbed toward me.
We began to kiss again, but this time his motions were more frantic and forceful. Our tongues swirled together in a hurried dance and it seemed like if we weren't careful, we would become tangled in one another. Without breaking away, or even slowing down, he gently lowered me onto my back and crawled on top of me. I could feel him, all of him, pressing into me, and I relished the way his body covered me like a protective barrier. He shifted slightly against me and pulled away from our kiss. I felt his hair brush gently against my cheek as his head moved down my body. I closed my eyes, wondering where his mouth would land next. I gasped when I felt a gentle nip of his teeth against my achingly hard nipple and moaned aloud as his tongue started working around it in concentrated circles. Hot pleasure started to crest within me as he hopped his attention from one breast to another. It was nothing like I had ever felt before. It was like the barrier between us, between our skin, was slowly dissolving and we were becoming one singular entity. Just as I was about to approach the point of no return, Emmett pulled away from my body.
“You’re such a tease!” I breathed. I opened my eyes to see him hovering above me, propped up on his elbows with a wicked grin on his face. His hair fell around him like a gold curtain and his eyes held an almost animal hunger in them
He gave a small growl in reply before sitting up. His hands went to my waist and my pants and panties were pulled off in a flash. I laid there, naked and completely open to him, watching his face and wondering what he would do next. I had my answer when he grasped my knees and roughly spread my legs before diving head first into my crotch.
“Oh, God!” I moaned as his tongue started to dance around my entrance.
My body started another dizzying climb toward ecstasy, and it wasn’t long before the anticipation became too much. His mouth worked my womanhood in ways I’d never considered before while his tongue danced and darted in and out of me. I wanted to scream as his touch danced around my throbbing clit, but it was as if he knew that any contact there would send me careening over the edge. Once again, just as I was approaching the tipping point, he pulled away. I growled in frustration which caused him to let out a small chuckle.
Two can play at that game, I thought as I sat up.
I reached over to him and pulled off his shirt before pushing him onto the bed. Though his belt buckle was a small challenge, it wasn’t long before he too lay naked before me. Following his lead, I took a moment to gaze at him and memorize the shape of his body. My eyes slowly travelled downward until they landed on his hard manhood. I felt a shiver, reme
mbering how it felt to have that length inside of me and the feeling of completion that came with it. That would have to wait, though. I had other plans first.
I first took him in my hands, letting my fingers caress the entire length of his shaft. He made no sound, but I could tell by the way his face darkened that he was enjoying my touch. I gently caressed his balls before lowering my head down, letting my hair fall. I kept my gaze locked on his as I tasted him, letting my tongue trail upward from his base in lazy zig zags. When I reached his tip, I started back downwards taking him into my mouth. Thought I had been nervous, I was surprised how easily I was able to take his entire length. He began to gasp and moan regularly as I worked on him, alternating between sucking and swirling my tongue around him. When I began to focus my attention on his head, his breathing increased rapidly, and I could tell that he was close to coming. With one last tease of my tongue, I pulled away. His face was creased almost as if he was in agony and I felt a small thrill at denying him that ultimate pleasure.
"I guess I deserved that," he said as his face relaxed. He lay there for a minute longer, as if any movement could ruin the moment.
After his breathing slowed slightly, he pulled himself up onto his elbows. Without a word, he got up and strode over to the dresser where his wallet sat. He pulled a condom out and handed it to me. I unwrapped it and slid it onto him, making sure to take my time. As soon as I had taken my hands away from him and stood, he grasped me firmly under my hips and pulled me up. I wrapped my legs around his torso as he spun around and pinned me against the bare wall next to the dresser. My arms twined around his neck as he used his hand to guide himself into me.
I was so wet that he slid in easily, and the feeling of him inside me was even more fantastic than I had imagined. He wasted no time and began to thrust, each pass reaching deeper within me. The final barriers between us had fallen and we’d become one as our skin and sweat dissolved into each other. Our moans turned into screams of pleasure as we worked together, our hips falling into a perfect rhythm. I wound my legs tighter around him as I drew closer to coming. I was almost in agony now and if he denied me again, it would not end well for him.
Just when I thought the wave would never crest, one last thrust of Emmett’s hips sent both of us flying over the edge. This time, instead of floating off into blackness, my mind stayed completely present and focused on every throb and pulse of both of our orgasms. I felt Emmett twitch every time my body clenched around him and we both let out little moans and grunts as the pleasure slowly ebbed away. When we were both still once more, I slowly unwound my legs from him and slid back down to earth. The loss I felt when he pulled out of me was even greater than the last time we had made love, and I wondered if I would feel such things each time we made love. We stood there a while, our naked bodies still pressed against each other, our gazes locked. I realized for the second time tonight how much I loved this man, and I almost told him before he moved and the moment passed.
Chapter 19
Emmett then put a gentle hand under my chin and lifted my face up toward his. He placed a gentle kiss on my lips before turning and heading to the bathroom. I found my shirt and panties on the ground and pulled them on. I flopped back down onto the mattress, my mind still reeling from the emotions the past hour had brought. I thought nothing could have topped last night in terms of sex, but I now knew how wrong I was. I turned to face Emmett, who had just returned from the bathroom and sat next to me, and wondered if I had the same, goofy look of wonder on my face.
“That was… something else,” he breathed.
I scooted closer to him and trailed my fingers over his chest. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling, and I gazed at his face. Traces of sweat still gleamed on his forehead and nose, and I watched as his expression relaxed into an almost zen-like trance. I fought the urge to doze off and, instead, thought back to the conversation we shared over dinner.
“Where would you go?” I asked dreamily. I wasn’t sure what had prompted me to ask that as the words just seemed to fall out of my mouth.
“What do you mean?” He replied as he opened his eyes and rolled over to face me.
“While we were eating, you said you were saving your money to escape Black Rock. I was just curious, where were you going to run to, if your plan had worked?”
“There really wasn’t a plan at first, it started as a just a way to spite my father. I was just so hell bent on getting out that anywhere was better than here. I’d vaguely thought about taking another stab at college, applying again, but the more I think about it, the less I like that plan. Not that I don’t want to better myself, I just actually kind of like working on engines. You don’t exactly need a fancy degree for that. It’d also save me money in the long run, not taking out student loans.”
“What would be the dream then?” I asked. “If you had saved up plenty of money and had no other ties, where would be the first place you’d go?”
“The ocean,” he said after a moment of deliberation. A smile crept onto his face as he continued. “I’ve only seen it once, and I want to go back. One summer, right around when that picture in my wallet was taken, my mom took Knox and me to the beach for a mini-vacation. My dad was on a long ride at the time with the rest of the Martyrs so he didn’t come with us. I don’t remember which beach it was exactly, but it was somewhere near San Diego on the California coast. We spent the whole weekend there, playing in the sand during the day and staying in some crappy hotel near the water. All three of us sleeping in the same bed, but we didn’t care. The best part of the whole trip was waking up the morning we were going to leave. For some reason, I was up first. It was still sort of dark out and I crept out of the room to the balcony to watch the sunrise over the water. I’d never seen anything like it before. The ocean was almost completely still and everything was covered in this rosy pink light. The world was just so still and peaceful. I thought about going to get Knox, to show him, but I ultimately wanted to keep the moment for myself. Growing up with my brother meant we had shared everything. At that point, I could hardly remember being away from him for more than a few minutes. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted the memory of that sunrise to only belong to me.”
Emmett stopped. A wave of pain spread over his face and I waited calmly for him to continue. His expression had shifted so rapidly, going at once from a calm happiness to his everyday scowl.
“That was one of the last happy moments of my childhood. My mom died in a car crash the next week and then it was just me and Knox against Dad. I think back to that weekend all the time and wonder what it would have been like if we just stayed, just me, Mom, and Knox. Maybe I would’ve turned into a surfer instead of a biker.”
He said the last bit with a chuckle, but my mind was already working.
“Let's do it,” I said with a conviction that surprised even myself.
“Do what?” Emmett asked incredulously, pulling himself up onto his elbows.
“Go to the beach! After this, all blows over, I mean. We would just leave, as far away from Black Rock and the Devils Martyrs as we could, and stay as long as we like.”
Emmett looked at me with a crooked smile that slowly melted away when he realized I was being absolutely serious. It was replaced by a look somewhere between disbelief and desire, and I realized that there was at least a small part of him that wanted to live this fantasy.
“There are a couple of retired Martyrs that live on the California coast,” he said slowly. “They run a cycle shop, and I’m sure they could get me a gig as a mechanic.”
“And I could find a firm looking for an office manager,” I replied. “I might even be able to find an attorney position. It might be tight for the first few months or so, but we could manage it.”
“We’d stay in a small apartment,” he said as he relaxed onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “At first, while we saved up enough money for a small cottage on the beach.”
“Of course! We’d find one with a little stretc
h of beach all to ourselves so we could wake up early on the weekends and watch the sun rise while we sipped our coffee.”
I smiled as I pictured the scene. Both of us bundled in blankets to ward off the early morning chill that crept in from the water with steaming coffee mugs in hand. It would be Sunday and we could spend the whole morning just sitting and talking. During the work week, I’d go to the office and he’d spend the whole day fixing engines. Maybe we’d take a day off in the middle of the week just to drive up the highway and see the scenery. I could teach him to ski in the winter and we’d spend hot summer days grilling and laying on the beach.
It was a simple life, this imagined fantasy of Emmett and me, and it surprised me how desperately I wanted it to become reality. Ever since I’d left for college, I’d pictured myself as a big city girl. I’d go to bed after classes and dream about being the hotshot young lawyer who travelled the world and worked on only the highest profile cases. I realized now, though, that those dreams never really rang true for me. I wanted them because other people told me I should want them. As I laid here next to Emmett, I was finally starting to figure out what I actually wanted.
