Vivian laughed again appreciatively. “I’ll rent the movie for you, Merlin. It’s called Monte Python and the Holy Grail. It’s a comedy.”
“It’s blasphemy,” Lancelot disagreed. “I doubt that you’ll find humor in it, Merlin.”
“Right now, I could use a laugh,” Merlin replied. “Back to your question, Lancelot. Arthur is highly intelligent. He has handled the onslaught of his first visions with courage. He doesn’t make friends easily, and he’s rather hard to get along with. They advanced him three grades, which didn’t help the situation with his making friends. Arthur seems to have a photographic memory, and an uncanny ability to grasp adult concepts. He can read and speak as well as many adults. You’ll find Arthur’s language a bit abusive. It’s a defense mechanism he uses far too often. What worked the first time around for encouragement makes little impact on the boy this time. Arthur didn’t have the stunning impact of all this outside stimuli a thousand years ago. Where once I could move him to greatness with simple guidance, it takes a far different approach to keep this modern environment from leading him astray.”
“How much have you told him?” Lancelot asked.
“So much that he thinks I’ve gone around the bend. I’ve shown him some of what I can do, because frankly, the little turd told me one day to fuck off.”
“You zapped him?” Vivian chuckled appreciatively.
“I merely showed him that I could and would make him follow my rules,” Merlin replied. “He will test us. That’s why I’m so happy that we’re all together. I need help.”
“An eight-year-old beards the powerful Merlin in his own den.” Vivian clasped her hands in front of her in prayer-like fashion, looking upwards with eyes closed. “Oh, thank you, Lord. I love this kid already.”
“I hope you enjoy young Arthur as much after you meet him,” Merlin stated with a knowing look that Lancelot saw in the rear view mirror, as he anticipated the old man to take offense.
* * *
“Hey, who ordered the hooker?” The boy asked, peering into the Pontiac as Merlin guided him over from the entrance to the school.
“Why, you…” Vivian reached for the door handle, only to be stopped by Lancelot’s hand. “Watch your mouth, Doogie, or growing up will be the least of your worries.”
Arthur laughed, as Merlin went around and entered the Pontiac from the other side, leaving the boy to enter from the curb side. Lancelot looked the boy over with excitement. He had been waiting a thousand years to be reunited with the man who had died at Camlann in his arms. Arthur wore his hair long, straight, and ruffled, with light brown strands hanging over his forehead. His face, grinning in the peevish way of pre-adolescent boys used to getting their own way, stared at Lancelot and Vivian with glee. Arthur was thinly built, almost gangly in Lancelot’s thinking. He watched the boy slide into the rear seat next to Merlin. Arthur smiled hugely at Vivian, reaching forward to touch her hair after closing the door of the Pontiac.
“Do your tricks pay more for long hair?” Arthur asked innocently.
Again, Lancelot grabbed Vivian, who had launched toward the boy with claw-like hands, while Arthur simply leaned away, laughing in delight. Merlin shook his head, wondering if this was the torment allowed for past wrongs done to Camelot and its King.
“Let me go, Monte!” Vivian hissed out the order through clenched teeth as she strained against Lancelot’s easily maintained hold on her.
“Calm down, Vivian,” Lancelot urged on seeing that their initial meeting was drawing the interest of the kids and parents passing by. “We don’t need a scene right now.”
“Monte…Monte?” Arthur leaned forward again as Vivian collapsed back into her seat angrily. “Who’s the mook with the sissy English name, Merlin?”
“I will warn you only once, Arthur,” Merlin stated, staring down the boy, who calmed immediately at Merlin’s tone. “Ride silently until we arrive at our place, where I will make introductions. Do you understand?”
Arthur nodded reluctantly. He gave Vivian a little wave when she looked back, with his hand formed as if gripping something, and making in-and-out movements with it to his open mouth. The ensuing scuffle between Lancelot and Vivian took five full minutes, as Vivian attempted a full out assault into the back seat. Lancelot retained a solemn look on his face as he handled Vivian, but the nasty edge to the boy gave him hope, rather than disappointment. If trained properly, this boy would be a man to be reckoned with. After convincing Vivian that her rage would have to be harnessed for another time, Lancelot exchanged a look of understanding with Merlin. He drove them to Merlin’s building, where the mage maintained a group of suites for him and the boy.
Merlin guided Lancelot into his own private parking lot, to a spot next to an already parked limousine. The group exited the Pontiac, with Lancelot gripping Vivian’s arm in a final silent warning. Gritting her teeth, she nodded in compliance. Arthur, dressed in a school uniform of navy blue pants, white shirt, and blue windbreaker, skipped around Merlin as if unable to keep stationary for even a moment. Lancelot’s size stopped the boy in his tracks, as he gazed up at his former First Knight.
“Holy crap, Merlin, have you got me my own private troll? Wow…Shrek, say something. How’d Merlin coax you out from under your bridge?”
Lancelot laughed, evoking a look of confusion from the boy, who was unaccustomed to adults taking anything but offense at his verbal barbs. Vivian looked at Lancelot with annoyance, having assumed he would kick the crap out of the boy. Merlin observed the sparring with interest, assuming rightly Lancelot took the banter as easy penance for sins committed centuries ago.
“Hello…Shrek…” Arthur waved at Lancelot. “You don’t have a little talking donkey, do you?”
“Not until now,” Lancelot quipped, prompting laughter from both Vivian and Merlin.
Arthur’s face reddened, and his mouth tightened in childlike rage. Lancelot stuck his hand out toward Arthur.
“I’m James Lancelot Benwick, Arthur. You knew me simply as Lancelot when you once were my King and friend, centuries ago.”
Arthur stared at the huge hand outstretched toward him. The bitterness and angst built up within him melted away. He gripped the man’s hand in his own small one. The two shook solemnly.
“I…I’m sorry about razzing you, Lancelot,” Arthur said finally, releasing Lancelot’s hand, and then gesturing at Vivian with outstretched thumb. “So, who’s the hooker?”
Arthur was in full flight toward the elevator by the time Vivian gasped and started in pursuit. Lancelot caught her up before she could take a step.
“Oh, my, for a moment there I thought perhaps we could have peace,” Merlin opined while Lancelot gripped the growling, squirming Vivian.
“We’ll have peace, old man,” Vivian blurted out in a frenzy of movement as she tried to detach herself from Lancelot. “I’m going to bitch-slap Doogie Howser until his eyeballs pop out.”
“Will you calm down?” Lancelot ordered, shaking Vivian finally with enough ardor to get her undivided attention. “You’re being baited by an eight-year-old, Viv. Young Arthur’s reeling you in every time he throws a line out. Get a grip.”
Lancelot saw that his words had an effect. Vivian broke into a smile, as Lancelot released her. She nodded in agreement. “The little dweeb is making a fool out of me.”
“He nailed me pretty well too, Vivian,” Merlin added, “and I had much the same reaction. I kept expecting instant respect. I found out quickly that his respect will have to be earned.”
“We can beat him, right?” Vivian asked hopefully. “I beat Lancelot, and it didn’t do him any harm.”
“I was irrevocably damaged.” Lancelot hung his head, pretending deep pain.
“Yeah, right,” Vivian remarked, looking toward where Arthur was dancing around by the elevator. Arthur waved at her.
“No, we aren’t going to beat him, Vivian,” Merlin said, as the three walked together toward the elevators. “I like his spirit. It will serve him we
ll. I believe it has already helped him to deal with the night terrors his visions have begun to cause.”
“Hey, Shrek, did you rearrange the bimbo’s face?” Arthur called out as they approached, disregarding any bonding he might have felt in shaking Lancelot’s hand. “She tried to stiff you on her last trick, didn’t she?”
“Is he like this all the time?” Lancelot gripped Vivian’s arm, as her whole body tensed involuntarily.
“You two are the first adults other than his instructors with whom he’s actually interacted,” Merlin replied. “He doesn’t do these verbal eviscerations with them, because I made it plain to him that it would be very bad.”
“You zapped him,” Vivian accused, pointing her finger at Merlin disparagingly.
“Not exactly,” Merlin disagreed. “I took all his privileges away for two weeks: TV, video games, computer, everything. He barely survived.”
“Yeah, but that was when he told you off and you zapped him, right?” Vivian pressed Merlin without hesitation.
“Yes,” Merlin admitted, as they neared Arthur. Merlin activated the elevator from the keypad, and the doors opened.
“He really did a number on you, Vicky,” Arthur commented with false concern, peering up into Vivian’s face. “Don’t mess with Shrek, baby. Do your business and pay up.”
Lancelot snatched Arthur up in one fist, the boy’s shirt and windbreaker ripping slightly during Arthur’s quick ascent into the air. In a split second, the boy was staring into Lancelot’s grim face, his mouth working without words. Lancelot shook him gently.
“We must show respect for each other, young Arthur. I know not where you learned to be so abusive, but we will not abide your continued insults. We have a long way to go together. The four of us have an important destiny to fulfill. Will you give us a chance to earn your respect, or will you force us to earn your fear?”
Arthur looked around to Merlin and even Vivian. Merlin had turned away the moment Lancelot intervened. Vivian met his appealing look with one of smiling appraisal. Arthur quickly returned his attention to Lancelot.
“I…I’m afraid already,” Arthur conceded haltingly.
Lancelot grinned. “That’s good. It shows intelligence. Our story, I’m sure, is a little farfetched for you to accept. Hear us out, boy. We have only your well-being in our hearts.”
“Can I talk…from the ground?”
Lancelot lowered Arthur to the floor of the elevator.
“After Merlin explained who he was, and…and who I’m supposed to be…I studied Camelot and the legend of the Round Table,” Arthur said, glancing around at the adults encircling him. “As I understand it…I got hosed.”
In seconds, all three adults were laughing so hard that tears streamed down their faces. Arthur watched what his comment provoked with satisfaction. Lancelot gripped the boy’s shoulder affectionately after a few moments.
“Just tone down the verbal attacks, okay?”
“Sure, Shrek. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Arthur grinned up at Lancelot, and winked at Vivian. “Think you could give me a freebie, Vicky?”
Vivian grabbed the boy by the ear, and then turned him on his tiptoes, searching for something with her free hand. “Where’s the on/off switch, Merlin? I know there has to be one.”
“Sor…sorry,” Arthur gasped, his hands out, trying to keep his balance. “Don’t pull my ear off, Vicky!”
Vivian released the boy reluctantly, as Merlin pushed the elevator button for their floor.
Arthur rubbed his ear, looking at Vivian accusingly. “Holy crap! Vicky…I didn’t think you-”
“Careful, boy,” Lancelot broke in, raising a warning finger. “I’m not intervening anymore on your behalf. I’ll let Vic…Vivian give you an attitude adjustment I doubt you’ll forget.”
“You three need to lighten up,” Arthur complained. “I have a genius IQ, and now I’m teamed up with an Alzheimer patient, a troll, and a beat-up hooker, all of whom screwed me a thousand years ago. Cut me some slack!”
“Can we at least gag him?” Vivian pleaded.
Fifteen minutes later, the group sat around the table where Merlin had first taken Lancelot and Vivian. Arthur had opted for a Pepsi, while the three adults sipped coffee. Arthur remained quiet, inwardly grateful for the target-rich environment, and anything to relieve what he considered the mind-numbing boredom of being around Merlin exclusively. Arthur sat next to Lancelot, who faced Vivian across the table, while Merlin had assumed his place at the head of the table.
Lancelot spoke up first. “Merlin told us you’ve had nightmarish visions, and he’s trying to guide you in how to gain insight from them.”
“Yeah, I have, but I thought nightmares were just nightmares,” Arthur replied seriously. In actuality, the nightmares had been monstrous. His mouth tightened at the memory of screaming uncontrollably. In his dream, Arthur had been burned alive. “Merlin taught me a spell to say before sleeping, in combination with meditation, so I could gain focus. It’s supposed to help me be an observer in the dream, and to remember details.”
“How’s it working for you?” Vivian asked, very familiar with the power of dreams if they were controlled.
“The nightmares stopped.” Arthur made a dismissive gesture with his hands. “It’s been a week since the last one.”
“How many of these nightmares did you have?” Lancelot asked.
“Three.” Arthur wondered whether to tell them about the more mundane dreams he had experienced lately. “Each time it was me getting burned up. After I began the meditation ritual Merlin taught me, the nightmare went away.”
“I think the nightmare going away coincided with my feeling that we were all being drawn together,” Merlin suggested.
“So, what exactly, besides playing guardians for Doogie here, do you have in mind?” Vivian asked. “You must have something flitting around your ancient skull.”
“I took into consideration Lancelot’s talents when forming my business. Our main long-range goal is grooming Arthur for possibly leading this great nation, and all the threads needed to make that a possibility.”
“And if I don’t want to be President?” Arthur questioned with a sarcastic lilt to his voice.
“We were granted free will,” Merlin went on, ignoring the sarcasm. “I have to believe that when you are allowed your memories once more, leadership will be something you want, rather than something you have to endure. It will be up to the three of us to work for good, while guiding you to a background suitable to attain the Presidency.”
“What of his visions?” Lancelot asked.
“I assume that they are meant to guide us. It is possible that our gathering has already averted the first of his visions. I have no knowledge as to the scope of what Arthur sees, or what exactly his visions will reveal. I see many possibilities to engage our combined skills in the future, and we certainly have the money to accomplish much. You have amassed quite a fortune on your own, Lancelot, and hidden it well, I might add.”
“Unfortunately, if your hackers can find that out, I imagine the government can too.”
“Don’t be too sure,” Merlin smiled. “What do you think of all this so far, Arthur?”
“Interesting,” Arthur allowed, rubbing his chin, mimicking one of Merlin’s idiosyncrasies. “So, what’s Vicky’s power – great blow jobs?”
“You won’t get a chance to find out, Doogie, cause your dick’s so tiny that I’d probably need tweezers to hold it,” Vivian retorted, chuckling, as Merlin and Lancelot cringed in anticipation of Vivian’s trying yet another assault on the boy. “In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m not letting you bait me anymore, you little twerp. I think I need more coffee, Doogie. Get it for me.”
Arthur immediately reached over, picked up Vivian’s cup and went to refill it. He returned carefully and set it in front of her.
“Thank you, Doogie.”
“For what?” Arthur asked, sitting down.
“I have been unable to w
ork any suggestive attempt,” Merlin noted, nodding at Vivian. “At least we are not without some way to influence him.”
“Yeah, I should have pulled the ‘gofer’ card the first time Doogie shot his mouth off,” Vivian replied with some satisfaction.
“Hey… you made me get you coffee.” Arthur’s eyes narrowed comically. “Knock it off, Vicky, and stop calling me Doogie.”
“You will address me as Lady Vivian from now on, Doogie.” Vivian leaned forward, directing her full attention on the boy.
“Yes, Lady Vivian,” Arthur repeated, his face slackening for a split second. “What…stop doing that, Vicky! I mean it!”
“You’d better be careful with your mouth, Doogie, or you may find yourself standing in the corner with your thumb up your butt.” Vivian grinned maliciously at the boy.
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