by Kate Stacy
I fell in love instead of falling in line.
I can’t help but push a little bit.
“Henley will be eighteen soon. You won’t be able to keep her from me forever. She’ll be an adult, able to make her own decisions.”
“Be that as it may, Jaxson, she is not an adult yet, so she must abide by the rules of this house. She is not allowed to associate with you. Unlike you, she follows the rules.”
Only because she has no other choice. That’ll all change soon.
I know I’m not going to get anywhere with her, so I say nothing else and hang up. I refuse to sit here and listen to her spew more of her bullshit.
I’m not sure when my parents became so stuck-up and pretentious. They grew up in Blackwood, just like the rest of us.
My parents think they own this town.
They act high and mighty, expecting people to treat them as royalty because our family founded Blackwood.
Karma will catch up to them. One day.
(Two years ago)
Visiting my childhood home always sets me on edge. A flood of memories threatens to drown me as I pull through the circular drive and put my truck into park.
I loathe this place. This extravagant mansion, so out of place in a small town like Blackwood. Stepping out of my truck, I stare up at the expansive house. A feeling of dread washes over me, a shiver coursing through my body.
My parents and I don’t get along well, to say the least. We have entirely different views regarding what my life should be like. I hate coming here. I usually only visit for one reason and one reason only.
Henley.
I adore my younger sister, and no matter how I feel about my parents, I will always come when she calls. Truthfully, I hated leaving her alone with them when I left at eighteen. I still feel guilty for leaving her behind, but I couldn’t tolerate another minute living under their strict rules and constant pressure. Only two more years and Henley can escape the madness.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t my sister’s call that brought me here today. I’ve officially been summoned and to ignore that summons would bring the wrath of my mother.
Making my way to the front door, I ring the bell and wait. I expect to be greeted by Frederick, my parents’ butler. And yes, they have a butler. Not only that, they also have a chef, a maid, a personal shopper, and who knows what other staff. Heaven forbid my mother actually lift a finger to do something for herself.
Nothing but the best for Phillip and Cynthia Blackwood.
Their ostentatious house is a perfect match for their pretentious personalities.
The door swings open and I’m almost knocked on my ass when Henley flies out, jumping straight into my arms. I manage to catch her, balancing us both as she wraps her legs around my waist.
“Jax! I’m so happy to see you!” she says, burying her face in my neck. “I didn’t know you were coming by today.”
Chucking, I wrap my arms around her small frame, giving her a tight squeeze.
“I’ve missed you, half-pint .” Kissing her temple, I set her down on her feet and give her a look. “I’ve been summoned.”
“What’d you do?” she groans.
The familiar click of my mother’s heels alerts us to her presence.
“Please, Henley. I do wish you would let Frederick answer the door. It is what we pay him for, after all.”
Frederick, standing at my mother’s side with his hands clasped behind his back, lowers his face to hide his smirk. I see it and throw him a wink.
“My apologies, ma’am.” He turns to me. “Good evening, Master Jaxson.”
“Hey Fred. How’s your family?”
“They’re doing well, thank you.”
Mother scoffs, ushering us inside toward the formal dining room. “Your father is waiting. You’re already late. Let’s not make him wait longer.”
Spinning on her heel, she walks down the hall expecting us to follow.
Biting back a laugh, I clap Frederick on the back as we walk past. He tips his chin and smiles. Good man.
We all know my tardiness was intentional. Anything to ruffle a few feathers.
I don’t understand how Frederick continues to work for a wretched harpy like my mother, but it’s not my place to question his choices. I’m sure he has his reasons. Besides, I know he looks out for Henley as much as he can, so I’m grateful for his presence in the house.
In the dining room, my father is sitting regally at the head of the table. His expression says he’s indifferent to my arrival, but I can see the anger simmering just below the surface.
It makes an appearance in the form of a sneer the moment he opens his mouth.
“Nice of you to finally join us, Jaxson.”
Pulling out the chair to help Henley into her seat, I grit my teeth and resist the urge to roll my eyes. I’m not that late. Less than ten minutes, but he acts as if I’ve made him wait hours. Ignoring his condescending tone, I take my seat and greet him with a polite nod.
“Hello, Father.”
If I thought this dinner was anything less than a planned opportunity to attempt to get me to toe the line, I’d have been a damn fool. I’m no fool. I know exactly why I’m here. Nothing stays secret in Blackwood for long.
I already regret my decision to come, but there’s no ignoring a summons from the Blackwoods. My father has motives for inviting me here. He wants something and I’m sure it won’t be long before I find out exactly what it is he wants.
We manage to get through dinner, barely making small talk.
Henley excuses herself. My father and I move to his office. Mother follows.
“I’m not a man to beat around the bush, Jaxson.” He says, sitting behind his desk. “I’ve heard word around town that Madalyn is finally out of your life. Since she’s no longer here to influence you and manipulate your decisions, I’d like to make you an offer.”
This time, I let my eyes roll. He says Madalyn’s name as if it leaves a bad taste in his mouth.
My parents have never hidden their deep hatred of Madalyn. I’ve never understood it—or where it came from—but I’ve always pushed it to the side. Ignored it because nothing they could ever say or do will stop me from loving her, wanting to be with her. Even now.
I wait out his silence, knowing that he’ll continue with or without a response from me. My father feels he’s too important for people to ignore.
“Now that she’s gone, you can make things right. I’d like for you to move home and go back to school. It’s not too late for law school and I can pull some strings…”
He’s still talking, but I tune him out. I’ve heard this a million times before. No matter how many times he tries, how many offers he makes, or strings he pulls I have absolutely no interest in college. Law school, or otherwise.
I tune back in to hear him offer to pay for my schooling and use his connections to get me a job when I’ve finished. As if I can’t do anything on my own merit.
“I told you years ago that girl was no good for you and would cause you nothing but trouble. Instead of listening to me, you got that girl pregnant and when things got difficult, she left you high and dry to deal with the fallout. You’ve made a mockery of the Blackwood name. Our family is a pillar of this community and the fact that you got that little...tramp pregnant—especially out of wedlock—well...it’s an embarrassment. It’s not too late to correct those mistakes.”
I can’t listen to this shit anymore.
“That’s not going to happen.”
Mother gasps, shocked at my interruption.
“Which part?” Father asks, raising his brow.
“You don’t have to move home, Jaxson, but please consider—” Mother starts.
“All of it. I’m not moving home. Not going to school. Not using your connections.” I run my hand through my hair, breathing out a huff of frustration. “Madalyn had nothing to do with any of those decisions. She never did. It’s not what I want.”
“What is it that you want?�
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I’m genuinely shocked at his question. It’s the first time that either of my parents have ever bothered to ask. Too bad it’s not genuine. There’s nothing genuine about either one of them.
“That’s easy. I want Madalyn. I want a family. I want—”
“Madalyn?” He scoffs. “How can you say that after what she’s done? Things got tough and she ran. That’s the type of woman that you want by your side? She left you here, alone and broken.”
“It doesn’t matter. I love her. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”
“Foolish boy. She obviously doesn’t feel the same. You don’t matter to her. She did you a favor, honestly. Now you can find someone better suited. Take my offer son. You obviously don’t know what it is that you want. This is the only way for you to make up for your negative impact on the reputation of this family.”
“You’re wrong. I stand by my decision. I won’t take your offer.”
He’s the picture of perfect calm. Looking me dead in my eyes, he drops the bomb.
“Your choice leaves me none. You’re no longer part of this family. I will not have you continue to bring shame to the family and our good name. You’re disgracing not only our family, but God. You should be ashamed.”
Mother opens her mouth to argue, but one glare from him and her lips slam shut.
“You’re no longer welcome in our home. You can see yourself out.”
With a wave of his arm toward the door, he starts ruffling through paperwork on his desk.
I’ve been dismissed.
Silently, I stand and turn for the door. Before closing it behind me, the man that used to be my father throws the final nail in my coffin. Hitting me where it truly hurts.
“Jaxson.”
I stop, but don’t look back at him.
“Absolutely no contact with Henley.”
Blowing out the last candle, I drop back into the chair and welcome the darkness that fills the room.
He forgot about dinner. About me.
Today is our anniversary. One year of being man and wife.
David and I should be celebrating, but he’s not here.
Ignoring the feeling of hopelessness churning in my stomach, I stand from the table, leaving the plates of cold food behind.
This house doesn’t feel like home.
The weeks decorating, arranging everything to perfection. The photographs lining the walls and shelves, displays of once-happy memories for all to see. The mixture of his things and mine.
None of it makes a damn bit of difference.
There’s no happiness here.
I thought that losing my baby would be the lowest point in my life. Truthfully, it’s the most painful, but not the lowest.
No. I’ve identified a lower moment. A moment that can’t be changed. One I can’t erase. One I can never come back from.
And as I sit here in the middle of the night, wondering where my husband is, wondering who he’s with...
I have no one to blame but myself.
They tried to give me an out, but I was too much of a damn fool to take it. Too selfish. Too stubborn. Too fucking stupid.
I made my bed, now I have to lie in it...even if it’s alone.
The snick of the lock causes me to stir, the slam of the door jolts me from sleep.
David stumbles in, tossing his keys toward the table in the entryway. He stares blankly for a second, laughing as they miss and clatter to the floor. Toeing off his shoes, he heads to the kitchen without noticing me in the dark.
I listen as he rustles around in the fridge, cursing as he drops something. Moments later, I watch as the light flickers on and David stops dead in his tracks. His attention isn’t on me. Not yet. He’s staring at the dining room table, eyes blurry and unfocused.
He scrubs a hand down his face, muttering something under his breath that I can’t hear. Silence reigns for several seconds before he pounds his fist on the table causing the dinnerware to clink and clatter.
“Fuck!”
My gasp draws his attention and he moves toward me with clumsy, unbalanced steps.
“Madalyn, I’m so sorry.” He slurs.
Apologizing is something he’s gotten extremely good at doing. Too bad they’re useless, empty apologies.
Shaking my head at him, I stand from the couch where I fell asleep.
“I don’t want to hear it, David.” I say, turning away from him. “We’ll talk tomorrow when you’re sober.”
David grabs my arm, preventing me from leaving the room.
“Don’t walk away when I’m trying to apologize to you, sweetheart.”
I stand motionless. Distinctly aware of the tightening grip of his fingers on my flesh.
“I didn’t mean to miss dinner. I know we were supposed to celebrate. A year, right sweetheart? A year of marriage is such a big deal. Things got so crazy at the restaurant and I lost track of time. I’ll make it up to you, baby. I promise. I’ll find a way to make it up to you.”
His drunken rambling fuels the fire burning in my chest.
Empty promises to match those empty apologies.
“You’re drunk, David. The restaurant closed hours ago.” I try and fail to pull my arm away from him. “Tonight was supposed to be about us. I left work early. Cooked dinner. Got dressed up. Tried to make tonight special for you. To make you happy. To please you. It’s never enough. You couldn’t even be bothered to come home to me.”
“No, baby. It is enough and you do make me happy.”
David pulls my body against his, instantly overwhelming me with the scent of scotch, cheap perfume, and sex. Gagging, I try again to pull away.
Anger overrules my fear and I lash out.
“Who is she, David?” Finally managing to free myself from his grip, I let him have it. “I can smell her on your fucking clothes!”
David’s mood changes in an instant.
His calm, soothing side disappears as the stony, serious side takes its place.
“Don’t take that tone with me, Madalyn.”
“A year. Only a year of marriage and you’re already fucking around on me? Why can’t I be good enough for you? I’ve given you everything! Why the hell did you marry me if you can’t even stay faithful?”
A sharp, burning pain across my cheek interrupts my tirade.
My eyes shoot to David—history repeating itself—but this time he doesn’t look the least bit apologetic.
“You don’t get to question me, wife.” He sneers. “A good wife doesn’t question her husband. Your place is in this home, taking care of my needs. Not asking questions about things that don’t concern you, Remember your vows, Madalyn. Obey.”
Last time he raised his hand to me, shock and fear made me cower. Not this time.
“A good wife?” I spit. “You want to talk about vows? What happened to your vows to honor and protect me? Huh? A good husband doesn’t raise his hand to his wife.”
In a flash, David is next to me, hands wrapped around my biceps.
For a brief moment, I look down, focusing on his hands. Memories wash over me, times where his hands caressed me so gently, with so much care and love. Those same hands now squeeze down like a vise, reddening the skin and bruising below the surface.
“You need to learn your place. I will do what I want, when I want. You don’t get to question me.”
“Let go of me, David. I’m not doing this with you.” My voice falters as his grip grows stronger. Fear is surfacing quickly.
“You don’t have a choice. Seems my pretty little wife has suddenly grown a set of balls.” He pulls me toward the bedroom. “Looks like I need to remind you that I’m the man in this relationship.”
A long-sleeved shirt may hide the bruises, but it’s more difficult to hide my wince when Grams bumps into me in the bakery’s kitchen. Thankfully, Grams is too distracted to notice.
Unfortunately, she does notice that I’m more quiet and sullen than usual. It requires too much forethought and energy to put o
n a happy facade all day and I simply can’t be bothered.
“You don’t seem like yourself, little one.”
“I’m okay, Grams.” I tell her, forcing a small smile. “I’m a little tired. Haven’t been sleeping too well lately.”
She looks at me like she knows better but doesn’t question me.
“You work too hard. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about hiring a manager.”
Putting down the cookies I’ve been frosting, I give Grams my full attention.
“With you here full time, I want to take more time off. I’m getting too old to keep up with this every day.”
“Grams! Why didn’t you say anything? I can help you more with the baking, with whatever you need.”
“Hush, child. You do too much as it is. You spend more time here than you do at home with that husband of yours. And I know how much you hate dealing with the paperwork and money.”
I won’t tell her that I’d rather be here than at home. This bakery has always been my happy place.
“I don’t mind—”
“Don’t feed me bullshit, little one. I’m old, blind. I see where your passion lies, and I want you to be able to focus on that. You love this bakery—I know you do—and you’ll do anything to see it continue to thrive. I’m not getting any younger and you can’t run this place by yourself, so I want to hire a new baker. Preferably one that has management experience and can take over those duties.”
“Okay, Grams. I’ll put out some feelers to see if we can find someone.”
She winks, coming over to wrap her arms around me. “I knew you’d see it my way.”
Laughing, I playfully snap her with a towel. “Sassy old woman.”
We continue to talk as we work, but she catches me off guard when she asks about David.
“How’s married life treating you?”
For a moment, I forget to breathe.
It would be so easy to admit the truth. Tell her that I’m miserable and married to a monster. Say that he’s cheating on me. Admit that I wish I’d never met David, or at least walked away when given the chance. Be honest and admit that I want to leave him. Speak up about the bruises.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
