by Kate Stacy
Wow. That hits me right where it hurts.
Presley—always the calm one—wraps her arms around me tightly.
“You can’t keep living with this, Madalyn. Don’t let him keep doing this to you.”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Oh, Mads. I know you can handle it, you’re the strongest woman I know. But you shouldn’t have to. It’s not right.”
Cami starts in again. “You have to leave him. Better yet, tell Holden. You know—”
“No!” I stop pull away from Presley and Camille from going any further. “Holden can’t know. Promise me you won’t tell him. He’ll kill David. Literally kill him.”
Both of my sisters look at me with a mixture of sadness and confusion. They have to realize that our brother would do anything to protect us, even if that meant going to jail.
“Mads…” Presley trails off, but words aren’t needed. She wants to argue. Wants nothing more than to run to our brother, but that can’t happen.
“No, please. I’ll deal with this my own way. I don’t want anyone in trouble or hurt because of me. Things have gotten better. He hasn’t hit me since...well...” I look down at my arm, knowing that they understand what I’m not saying. “Please, please promise me you won’t say a word to Holden about this.”
“I don’t know if I can make that promise, Mads.” Presley chews on her bottom lip, going quiet again.
Cami stands with her arms crossed over her chest, staring me down. I can see her mind working, her thoughts playing out across her face. She steps forward, moving toward the chair next to mine.
“Fine. You’re right. Holden would end up in jail for beating that asshole to death, or worse.”
I sigh in relief, closing my eyes for a brief moment.
“Oh, you’re not getting out of it that easily, dear sister. I don’t like this. At all. But if I make this promise to you...I want you to promise me something in return.” She looks at Presley, who nods.
My eyes dart back and forth between the two of them, waiting for one of them to drop the bomb.
“Promise me that if he does anything, and I do mean anything out of line again. If he so much as lays a finger on you in anger...promise me, no...us, promise us that you’ll leave him.”
I’m a shitty sister.
Because even as I agree, I know I’m making a promise that’ll be broken.
Dread pools in the pit of my stomach when I get home from spending the day with my sisters to find the front door already unlocked.
Hesitating, I slowly turn the knob to open the door.
David is home.
And he’s angry.
His anger is almost palpable, the air thick with it, threatening to suffocate me.
Everything inside me is screaming for me to turn around. To close the door and seek solace with my sisters, with my brother. It’s too late for that now. He already knows I’m here. Running away would make it a thousand times worse.
Bracing myself, I remind myself to breathe and step into the house.
Closing the door behind me, I turn to see David leaning against the back of the couch. His arms are crossed over his chest, hands clenched into tight fists. The fire blazing in his eyes betrays the smile on his lips.
“Welcome home, Madalyn.”
I linger near the door as long as possible, setting my purse and keys down on the table in the entryway. When I can no longer prolong the inevitable, I push back my anxiety and move toward the kitchen, nervously greeting him in return.
“Hey, David. How was work? I hope you had a good day. I’m gonna get started on dinner. Is there anything in particular you’d like?”
He doesn’t answer my ramblings right away.
I get as far as the entryway to the kitchen before I freeze. I know he’s standing at my back when the tiny hairs stand up on the back of my neck. So close I can feel the warmth of his breath on my skin, causing goosebumps to pebble across the surface. A shiver races down my spine when he speaks.
“What I’d like, Madalyn, is for my wife to not be a liar and a whore.”
I know better than to turn to look at him—I do—but I can’t stop myself.
The moment my head is turned, he grabs my chin in a rough grip, pulling my face closer to his.
“Where were you today, wife?” He leans in so we’re cheek to cheek, gritting out his rough whisper in my ear through clenched teeth. “I’d be very careful with your answer, my love. You were not at work today where you were supposed to be. Where were you?”
“W-w-with my sisters.”
“Hmm.”
David cocks his head to the side—face emotionless—studying me as his hand slowly slides from my chin to my throat. His grip tightens, cutting off my air.
“I told you not to lie to me. That jackass you’ve been fucking behind my back? I saw him at the bakery today. I thought I told you to stay away from him?”
I can’t breathe, but I don’t move an inch. Fighting him only makes things worse for me, but I swear he gets off on it. My lungs burn from struggling to take in air, the lack of it makes my head swim and my eyes water.
David finally relaxes his grip when my eyes start to close.
My chest heaves as I gulp in air.
He stands, silently watching me as I catch my breath. When I finally do, I open my mouth to speak, to defend myself and set him straight. I should have known it was no use. Before I can utter a sound, David leans forward, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. He bites down hard, and I can taste the coppery tang of blood from my lip.
He pulls away, a feral grin twisting his features.
“I forgive you, Madalyn. I’ll always forgive you because you’re mine, not his.” He leans in, licking the blood from my lip before dragging his tongue up my cheek. “You’ll never belong to him.”
Grabbing my good arm, David turns away, practically dragging me behind him. He crosses the living room, heading directly for the stairs. I know what’s coming, and I don’t want it. For the first time tonight, I try to fight.
“No, David. Please, don’t do this.” I plead, trying to pull myself free of him.
“I love when you beg, baby.”
When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, I let my body go lax. He drags me up the stairs behind him, the carpet burning my knees and shins.
“I don’t want this, David. You can’t keep doing this to me.”
Stopping at our bedroom door, he throws his head back in maniacal laughter.
“I can’t do this? I can’t do this? Really, Madalyn? You’re my wife!” he yells. “Your body belongs to me and you shared it with another man. You disgust me! But you’ll make it up to me.”
He chuckles and starts pulling me behind him again. Once I’m inside the room, he releases me, turning to shut the door.
“Oh yes, you’re definitely going to pay.”
The sound of the bell ringing sends a flood of memories through my head.
Leaning up against the locker, I think about Madalyn and all the time we shared in this hallway. Passing notes. Holding hands. Kissing while I pinned her against the lockers.
God, what I wouldn’t give to go back to those days.
A loud squeal interrupts my thoughts and I look up just in time to see my sister running toward me. She jumps into my arms, wrapping hers around my neck as I lift her from the floor.
“Oh my God! Jax, I can’t freakin’ believe you’re here!”
With that, Henley tucks her face into my shoulder and bursts into tears.
Squeezing a little tighter, I try to console her. It’s been too damn long since I’ve seen my baby sister. Three years too long. I rock her back and forth until she calms, then gently set her back on her feet. Tears still swim in those pretty eyes, but she’s smiling now.
“I’ve missed you, Henny. Let’s go grab some lunch.”
Wiping her eyes, she nods, settling her hand in the crook of my elbow. Side by side, we head for the cafeteria.
Blac
kwood High hasn’t changed a bit. Fuck, it’s weird to be back here.
We grab some food and find a relatively private corner. I don’t miss the looks and hushed whispers. Neither does Henley.
“They probably think you’re my boyfriend or something,” she says, rolling her eyes as she slides onto the bench. “Anything to gossip about. I can’t wait to get out of here.”
Chuckling, I sit across from her.
“I’m proud of you for sticking it out.”
“Yeah, yeah. I thought about dropping out and getting my GED, but I wanted to keep my options open for college and a diploma looks better than a GED. But seriously Jax, did mom and dad not consider this crap when they decided to hold me back a year?”
I give her a look and she rolls her eyes again.
“Of course they didn’t. That would require them to think of someone other than themselves, I know. It sucks so bad. I’m four months into my senior year of high school and I’m already nineteen. I’m older than like...everyone.”
“Older and wiser.” I tease. “Tell me how you’ve been. I’ve tried so many times to come by and call…”
“I know. I thought it would be easier once I turned eighteen...God, Jax. I’ve wanted to pack a bag and come to you so many times.”
“Why didn’t you? You’re a legal adult, Henny. You don’t have to stay there. And my door is always open to you.”
“College,” she says simply. “They told me as I long as I stayed under their roof and followed their rules they would pay for my education. I know college didn’t interest you, but it’s different for me. I finally decided what I want to do, and culinary school isn’t cheap.”
“Half-pint…” I sigh. “I’ll help you pay for school. The bar is doing really good. I ca—”
“No, Jax. Look. That’s a sweet offer and I love you to death for it, but it’s not your responsibility. Mom and dad...well, we both know they suck. But if they’re willing to offer me a full ride, I’m gonna take advantage of that. It sucks not being able to see you, or talk to you whenever I want, and I love you—you know I do—but the way I see it...it’s a small sacrifice. This is my last year at home. They’re going to pay for everything while I’m away at school. I can work, save money, and when I finish the culinary program, I can walk away free and clear. I’ll have no debt, money saved up, and I can do whatever I want.”
I let my frustration deafen me to the truth behind her words. Another three years seems like a lifetime without my sister. I don’t want that for either of us. College aside, I want her out from under their tyrannical rule. I want her safe and happy. With an irritated huff, I open my mouth to argue, but snap it shut when I see the devious smile on her face. It finally clicks.
“You’re using them.”
She nods rapidly, her smile widening.
“Holy fuck, Henny. You devious little shit.” I bark out a laugh, shaking my head.
“They did us dirty, Jax. The crap they pulled with you? The way they’ve treated us our entire lives? They suck as parents. They owe us, especially you. I know you enough to know you’ve moved passed it, but I’m still there. It’s not as bad for me as you probably think it is, but it still sucks. I’m going to take them for all I can before I disown them, cast them aside exactly the same way they did you.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal, popping a fry in her mouth. “I know you’ll be waiting with open arms when I walk away. I know that I always have a safe place with you. You’re the only family I need.”
I stand and move around to her side of the table. Dropping down beside her, I wrap my arms around my little sister and pull her close.
“I love you so fuckin’ much, Henny. I’m glad that you haven’t let the years come between us. And you’re right. I will always be there for you in whatever way you need me. I’m only a phone call away.”
“I’ll never let anything come between us. I know who my real family is, always. I’m just biding my time.”
The bell rings, signaling the end of our time together.
Reluctantly, I release her from my embrace. She grabs her bag, and I can tell she’s hesitant to walk away. We both know that me coming here today was a risk, but it’s one I had to take. It probably won’t happen again because now that I know her plan, I don’t want to mess anything up for her.
Tears well in her eyes again, so I pull her back into a hug.
“Remember, Henny. Only a phone call. Love you, half-pint.”
“Love you too, big brother.”
While she’s distracted, I slip a small, wrapped box into her bag for her to find later. A late birthday present that I hope she loves.
I pull back and kiss her forehead.
“Now get your ass to class.”
Shaking her head, she laughs and finally turns to walk away.
The sound of her happy laughter will stay with me until I can see her again.
Leaving the school, I decide to walk around town for a while. Seeing my sister brought up a ton of bad shit that I ignored while I was with her. Three years may have passed, but just like things with Madalyn, time hasn’t dulled the pain. I’m still raw inside from my parents casting me out. Being kept away from my sister is a soul-deep hurt that will never lessen.
I wander aimlessly for a while, trying to drown out some of the negative shit rolling through my head. I don’t really want to spend the rest of the day by myself, so I head toward the Brewhouse. A hyped-up crowd is just what I need after the emotional visit with my sister. I held it together, but having her cry on my shoulder when she saw me? That shit cut deep.
It’s gonna be hard respecting her wishes. Leaving her in their hands for another three years doesn’t sit right with me, but she’s an adult now. We both had to grow up fast, so I know she’s mature enough to make the decisions she’s made. She knows what she’s doing, and I have to trust that.
Lost in thought, I’m not paying attention to where I’m going until I accidentally plow right into someone. “Oh shit! I’m so sorry!”
Reflexes have me reaching out to prevent the person from falling. I don’t have to see a face to know who I bumped into. The electricity that zings up my arms at the touch is a dead giveaway.
Madalyn.
Ignoring the thumping of my heart in my chest, I steady her. I wish I could hold her closer, never let go. That line of wishing and want ends when I notice her wince from my touch. Releasing her, I drop my gaze. It hurts too much to look at her. Lowering my eyes, I see something that makes me do a double take.
Bruises. Her biceps are covered in black, purple, and blue bruises. Handprint and finger-shaped bruises.
What. The. Fuck?
She moves to pull her sleeves down, but it’s too late. I already saw that shit.
“Mads...who the fuck did that to you?”
It’s a rhetorical question. She doesn’t need to answer. I already know the fucking answer, but I want to hear her say it. I want to hear her admit it. Then I’m going to go make sure he never does it again.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jaxson. I’m sorry I ran into you. I need to go.”
Not giving me time to object, she ducks her head and rushes away. I watch her go, hands curled into fists at my sides, anger vibrating through my entire body.
Madalyn glances back at me and what I see makes my heart drop to my stomach. Her once beautiful, vibrant green eyes are dull and lifeless. Haunted.
I want to kill the man that put that look in her eyes.
I’m living in hell and I want out.
I was wrong. So unbelievably wrong.
I don’t deserve this. Any of this.
A choice made years ago out of desperation led me to make even more bad decisions. I ignored my heart, ignored my head, ignored every instinct I have. Now I’m paying the price. But I do not deserve it.
Guilt over leaving Jaxson, over blaming him for the loss of our baby, that guilt made me believe I deserve every bit of what was happening to me. Not anymore.
I gu
ess you could say I’ve finally pulled my head out of my ass. I’ve finally stopped wallowing in my own misery. Stopped believing that I deserve the way David treats me. That I’m being punished for the choices I made in the past.
I’m over it. I’m done.
I sit here at our dining room table, drinking my third glass of wine. I need some liquid courage to get through this.
David should be home soon.
Then again, if I know my husband at all, he’ll be late. He’s probably with the woman he’s been screwing. Oddly enough...that doesn’t bother me. The more he’s with her, the less he’s home. If he’s not home—I’m not being yelled at, or hit, or forced to do things that I stopped wanting months ago.
I have no idea who she is. I honestly don’t care.
Part of me wants to find out. If only to warn her about him and his controlling ways, violent tendencies, and anger issues. I’m sure she’ll find out soon enough. She can have him if she wants him. I haven’t considered him my husband in a long time. I’m not sure he ever truly was.
I’m feeling stronger than I have since before we got married. Strong enough to tell David that our marriage is over.
So even though he’s an hour late—I wait.
I’m not moving from this spot until I tell him that I want a divorce.
Two hours later, I finally hear a key turn in the lock.
The front door opens and David struts in, clearly displeased. He kicks off his shoes, drops his keys, and heads straight for me.
Any confidence I had wavers with every step he takes toward me. The expression on his face sends chills down to my bones. The fury in his black eyes pierces through the strength I was feeling only minutes ago, but I do not cower.
The monster I married stands before me, head tilted to the side. Despite the pure rage radiating from his body, he studies me calmly.
“What are you thinking?” he asks.
Pushing back my fear and anxiety, I summon every bit of courage I possess. Head held high, I stare him in the eyes and fight to keep my voice steady when I speak.
“I want a divorce, David.”
