“You’re like a total badass bitch, Nat, and I don’t blame you for getting a gun after what happened and I’ll definitely try not to piss you off,” she said with a laugh and that lightened up the tension. We all sat down around the table again with me on the end sitting next to Dom who was practically ignoring me. Any flirtation from earlier was gone and he had his back to me as he talked to Dante.
I chatted with Danny and Tyler over another round of drinks, but they left to go back dancing. Jillian followed, bringing Victor along with her. My feet were sore so I declined and moved over to sit next to Jimmy.
“Don’t feel like dancing?” I asked him in a teasing tone and his lips twitched, which was practically a smile as far as Jimmy was concerned. Almost the entire left side of his face was covered in scar tissue and when he did smile, the damaged skin folded into more of a grimace. Jimmy rarely volunteered information so I was caught off guard when he started to talk. It was hard to hear so I leaned closer to him.
“I’ll only dance with my girlfriend.”
This was news. I had gotten to know Victor fairly well, but that’s because we spent a lot of time together. Jimmy was more the silent tortured type. He usually looked pissed off and kept quiet. Between his scars and hulking physique, he didn’t exactly scream “come talk to me.”
“What’s her name and how long have you been together?”
“Felicia and a little over four years and like your brother, I’m gonna be a dad soon.”
“What? Wow! Congratulations!” I would never have guessed Jimmy was the relationship and parent type. I really needed to stop judging people based on their appearance. Jimmy was actually talking and I wanted to know more. “Does Felicia know what you do?”
“She knows enough, but not too much. Some things she’s better off not knowing.”
I nodded my head in agreement and took a long sip of water, glancing across the table at Dominic and Dante, who were still deep in conversation.
“Did Felicia grow up around the business like Miranda?”
“No, not at all. We met at the VA hospital.”
Turning to face Jimmy, I took in the scars on his cheek and how the ridged tissue trailed down the side of his neck, disappearing below the collar of his shirt. I’d always assumed he had been injured during mafia business, but the stiff way he sat plus his high and tight haircut told a different story.
“You’re in the military?” I asked.
“Army Ranger honorably discharged. I was injured when a roadside IED exploded when I was on tour in Afghanistan. I’m one of the lucky ones. Saw two of my brothers get blown to bits right in front of me. That’s how I met Fiona. She’s a phlebotomist at the VA and we got to know each other pretty good.”
“I’d say so, she’s carrying your baby,” I teased and Jimmy chuckled. “And she doesn’t mind what you do?”
Jimmy shrugged and drank some of his beer. He set his glass down, a trace of foam clung to the sides. “It isn’t any more dangerous than being in active duty or a cop. Yeah, what I do isn’t exactly legal, but if anything happens, Felicia and the baby will be well taken care of. I’ve made sure of that.”
Before I could learn any more about Jimmy, Victor and everyone else returned from dancing. I got up and slid in next to Dominic again.
“Hey, Annie Oakley, pop a cap anyone’s ass while we were gone?” Jillian asked me, slurring slightly. Her cheeks were flushed from a combination of booze and dancing. I flipped her off and she laughed, leaning against Victor, who put an arm around her and pulled her closer. Yeah, those two were definitely going to hook up.
“Hey sweetie, Tyler and I are out,” Danny said, getting up and kissing my cheek. “Call me soon.”
“I will and nice to meet you Tyler,” I said and was surprised when Tyler gave me a hug.
“You know what we talked about earlier in the cab, about my services? I’m serious. Let me know, okay?” he whispered in my ear before pulling away. I nodded and waved as they walked away holding hands.
“What services is he offering?” Dominic asked and I jumped as his voice was closer than I expected. I also didn’t realize he could have heard Tyler’s whisper with the loud music.
“Um, he’s an accountant and we were talking finances. He said it’s never too early to start planning for retirement.” I groaned inwardly at the lie.
Dominic didn’t say anything, just silently regarded me and once I again I detected a wariness about him. The flirt from earlier was gone. “Come on, we need to talk. Tonight’s been a night of revelations.” He picked up my bag and handed it to me. “Careful with that,” he practically growled then turned to Victor and Jimmy. “Guys, I’m taking Nat home. Dante will take care of everything. It’s good doing business with you.” I slid out of the booth and Dominic stood, shaking hands with Victor and Jimmy.
“Wait, Jillian, I can’t leave you.”
“She’s safe with me, Nat,” Victor said. “We already agreed she’s coming back to my hotel.” Jillian smiled up at him and snuggled closer.
“I’ll be fine Nat and will call you tomorrow.”
Honestly, I didn’t have any doubts about leaving Jillian behind. I trusted Victor and Dante. After getting to know Jimmy better, I was beginning to trust him more too.
Joey D. met us at as we left the VIP section and made a path through the crowd. Dominic walked beside me with his hand on the small of my back and I braced myself for the lecture that was coming about me being in possession of a firearm. Grant had been lecturing me my whole life so I was used to it and they never set me straight anyway, but I let him have his say so he could get it out of his system. Apparently I’d have to manage Dom the same way.
Joey held the exit door open for us and Dom fist bumped him on the way out. Dom’s Mustang was already idling out front waiting. The convertible top was down and the chrome gleamed red, reflecting Crimson’s exterior lighting. Combined with the black paint it gave the car a sinister presence befitting a mob boss.
A valet attendant held the passenger door open for and Dom gave him a tip. After buckling in and securing my hair in a haphazard knot, Dom pulled out and soon we were speeding down Columbus Boulevard towards his condo building.
“You’re not taking me back to Grant and Miranda’s?” I called over the wind.
“No,” Dom shifted gears and wove around a slower car. “They asked to not be disturbed for a while.”
“Oh.” My voice was quieter this time. I hadn’t been back to the condo we shared since I left Dom and moved to California. This was turning into one of those nights full of history and memories.
Once again a valet attendant was opening the door and I was stepping out onto familiar cobblestones. I stopped to wait for Dom and stared up at the building before me. The tower was bathed in soft white light and the Ben Franklin Bridge glowed; an ambient blue in the background.
“Ready?” Dom asked, coming to stand beside me.
“Yeah, let’s go ‘talk’.”
We crossed the lobby to the elevators and waited in silence for one to arrive. I sensed wariness and something else radiating from Dom. I wasn’t sure if it was anger or what, but it made me feel uneasy.
The elevator arrived and the ride to the top floor was just as quiet, so quiet that the low rumble as the doors slid open was amplified. As we walked down the carpeted hallway, I braced myself for the onslaught of memories that were sure to pummel me like an avalanche the moment I stepped inside the condo. With a click of the lock, Dom opened the door and stepped aside to let me pass. Taking a deep breath, I hesitantly crossed over the threshold.
Everything looked exactly the same as when I left and a lump formed in my throat as my eyes focused on the fireplace and the spot in front where we first made love. My hands trailed across the cool granite counter at the breakfast bar as I remembered the delicious aroma of sautéed garlic when Dom cooked dinner for me. While the condo looked the same, it smelled different, almost stale as if it was just a model and no one actually l
ived there.
Dom remained quiet and let me explore. I stayed out of the bedroom. That would be my kryptonite. I wandered over to the French doors that led to the balcony and I looked down on the murky river below. When I turned around, Dom was sitting on the dark brown leather sofa. He was leaning forward and packing a bowl with weed.
“Wanna hit?” he asked, holding the pipe out towards me.
“Sure.” I took the bowl and lighter then sunk down into the sofa next to him. We each took a few hits and as if we were passing a peace pipe, the tension between us dialed down.
“Dom, about the gun,” I started, just wanting to get the conversation over with. “I asked Victor to give me shooting lessons as a way of protecting myself and I’ll be straight with you, he gave me a gun for Christmas.”
“What?”
“Relax, it’s all good. I can’t tell you how empowered I feel knowing I can protect myself if I’m in a bad situation. I was a mess after everything that happened. Then the shooting at the mall brought that helplessness all back.”
“I’m not mad about you taking steps to protect yourself. Does Grant know?”
“No. He’d freak out.”
“Not necessarily. He and Miranda go to the shooting range together all of the time. He’ll be pissed that you kept it secret from him, which is what’s bothering me.”
“Dom, I don’t have to report to you on anything I do.”
“Yeah, I get that. How can I forget when you remind me all of the time that we’re not together anymore?” He spat this out and I flinched at the anger that flashed in his eyes.
“Even if we were together I’m still my own person and you can’t expect me to reveal everything.”
“Reveal things like how you helped Victor when he was shot and Jason saw you cleaning up his blood?” I froze at Dom’s revelation. Dread crept over me, leaving my skin feeling like it was covered in a sheet of ice. I wasn’t afraid for myself, but for Jason. Dom stood up and started pacing on the other side of the coffee table. His legs made for long strides so there was a lot of back and forth. Despite the tension in the room and my increasing anxiety, I couldn’t help but notice how nice his ass looked in the black pants he was wearing.
Taking a deep breath, I pulled myself together. “Is this why you’re so pissed off? I handled it just fine on my own, Dom.”
“So Victor says. I just want to know why you didn’t tell me. Did you feel like you couldn’t?” His voice was quieter now and he stopped pacing to look at me. With a sigh he ran a hand through his hair and sat down heavily on the sofa, picking up the bowl to take another hit. He held the smoke in for a while before slowly exhaling.
I took the bowl out and set it on the table then grabbed his hand with mine. “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid for Jason. The less people involved, the better and I knew his life would be at risk.” I gently squeezed his hand. “Honestly, Dom, what would your initial reaction have been?”
“To either beat fear into him or kill him,” he replied without hesitation.
“Exactly, he’s an innocent to your world, much like I was.”
This statement got his attention and he jerked his head, going from looking at our joined hands to meeting my eyes.
“Fuck, I never thought about it that way.”
“Trust me. Jason won’t be an issue.”
“Why did you break up with him? Seems to me that would make him angry and he’d do something stupid. He knows too much.”
“All he has is his word and zero proof. I broke up with him because,” I paused and looked away from Dom’s intense gaze. So far he had discovered two of my three secrets, all in one night, and there was no was in hell I was going to tell him about Jason’s lawyer dad trying to get me to make a deal with Agent Phillips to enter WITSEC. “It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone when you’re in love with somebody else.”
I’d barely processed Dom’s sharp inhale before he pulled me against him and his lips were on mine. Initially my body responded, but my brain was jumbled. I’d like to say it was the typical electrifying, steamy, panty melting kiss, sadly it wasn’t. I had cottonmouth from the few hits off of the bowl and when Dom’s tongue slipped past my lips, it tasted of ash, which reminded me of when Mr. Genovese attacked me, forced his nicotine marinated tongue into my mouth. I tried to remind myself that this was Dom, not that foul man who tried to beat me into submission, but my mind had already gone down the rabbit hole causing my lungs to seize up. My pulse pounded in my head as my stomach rolled. Dizziness hovered on the edge of something more severe and I pushed at Dom although it felt like my arms weren’t connected to my body.
He pulled away and I barely registered him calling my name. I could hear his voice, but it sounded like he called from a distance. “Breathe, baby, breathe!”
Chapter 30
Sunlight streamed through vertical blinds, aimed right at my face. I groaned and went to flip over, away from the light, but something held me in place. My eyes flew open and were immediately assaulted by the bright sun. Squinting, I took in my surroundings, which became increasingly more familiar as I woke up. I hadn’t been in this bedroom in months and the soft snores coming from behind me were just as familiar. I didn’t remember coming to bed with Dom and when I attempted to sit up, his arm that was draped across my waist, tightened its hold.
I lifted the blanket, to find I was clothed and wearing the same outfit as the night before. I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed into the mattress, snuggling against Dom who was spooning me from behind.
Since I didn’t remember going to bed, I must have passed out and Dom carried me to the bedroom. The clock said it was after nine and I needed to go check on Grant and drive him to an appointment with his physical therapist in the afternoon. I let myself enjoy a few minutes of being enveloped by Dom’s body heat. When I went to lift his arm and slide out, he woke up.
“Where are you going?” he mumbled, half asleep, and pulled me closer to him. So close I felt his erection pressed against my ass. “I’ve missed this.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
Dom shifted and propped himself up to look down at me. Rolling onto my back, I met his eyes. “Are you feeling better?” he asked, brushing a few stray hairs away from my face.
“I am. Did you carry me in here?”
“Yeah, you scared the shit out of me when you passed out. You were out cold and you woke briefly, but went right back to sleep. What happened?”
When I told him what triggered my episode, he closed his eyes and shook his head, his lips narrowed down to a thin line. “Damn it, I’m sorry you went through that. I should have grown a pair and stood up to Uncle Marco that night.”
“It’s done and they’re both dead. My panic attacks have been getting better. I think my defenses were down yesterday and I never know what’s going to set them off, plus I was drunk and high. I’m just sorry it happened when we were kissing.”
“Me too,” he said and even though he was caressing my cheek and looking at me, he was very far away.
“Dom?” I placed my hand over his, stilling his caress.
His eyes came back into focus and he frowned, removing his hand from my cheek. “As much as I want you in my life and it feels so right waking up next to you again, you were wise in leaving, Nat. It’s not fair of me to ask you to stay when you deserve so much more.”
“Dom, what-“
“Wait, let me finish. I’ve ruined you, babe. You shouldn’t be having anxiety attacks and you shouldn’t feel the need to carry a gun. You’re afraid and I did this to you. You were right in getting as far away from me as you could. I see that now.”
Silence filled the room as I processed his words. “What are you saying?” I whispered as that’s all I could manage since it felt like my throat was closing.
“I’m saying,” he rolled away and sat up, putting space between us. “I’m letting you go. I won’t pursue you anymore and will leave you alone. Go back to your life in California
or wherever. Just go find your happiness.”
Dom didn’t wait for a response and got out of bed. I watched in stunned silence as he walked to the bathroom. The click of the door shutting made me jump in its finality.
What the hell had just happened?
We hadn’t been a couple for months, but I felt all of the hurt and anguish as if he had just broken up with me. It was worse because I saw the pain on his face and before he walked away, I saw the tears glistening in his eyes. I suspected he hid in the bathroom so I couldn’t see him cry.
I waited a few minutes for him to come out, but he didn’t. When I heard the water running, indicating he was taking a shower, I made a decision to not wait around for more rejection and hurried out of the bedroom. My shoes and bag were by the front door making my escape even easier. Like the last time I left the condo, I left without saying goodbye.
***
I refused to cry during the cab ride to Grant and Miranda’s. Instead I busied myself by checking email on my phone. Jillian, an annoyingly cheerful morning person had sent me a message earlier:
Hey Nat!
Thanks for introducing me to Victor. We had a ridiculous amount of hot sex. His body is a wonderland of tattoos too. Have you ever seen him with his shirt off? Whew, I’m panting just thinking about it. J Hopefully you and Dom “worked” things out last night as you guys looked pretty tense when you left. Did you get your freak on like I did? LOL!
Anyway, here’s the information on that grant program for alumni I was telling you about. You should take advantage of Dom’s offer and you should hire me when you get the grant (because you totally will). Ok, talk to you later!
Endings & Beginnings (New Mafia Trilogy #3) Page 21
