“You needed closure.” Her voice was softer now. It dipped low but all trace of anger had disappeared.
“I really hate that word. It’s meaningless.” He rested his forehead against hers for a second and tried to block out the audience that had gathered. “You don’t get closure after you kill someone. After you watch your mother bleed out. After you figure out your father, your family’s history, is nothing but a path to destruction.” His words started to falter. Not because he didn’t believe them but because his energy was waning. “Oh, it has a pretty outer shell but it’s garbage inside and people have paid over and over again for it.”
She played with the top button of his shirt, slipping it in and out of the hole there. “There are good people here.”
“And some bad ones. They almost got to you. I was standing right here and still you almost paid the ultimate price.”
She sighed at him. “You are not responsible for my choices. I wanted to come here. You are not my protector or my savior.”
“Is it so wrong I want to be?” Because that was the point. That’s why he’d landed here. Wanting to be with her, help her and make sure no one hurt her.
“Since when?”
It was a fair question. And an easy one for him to answer. There were some times he practiced in the mirror, but this one came from the heart. “Why do you think I’m still here? It’s not the sex or because I love the way you look, or how you stumble over the end of your sentences. Or even that expression you get when you want to punch me, though that is pretty sexy.”
She shot him a look that suggested he was right on the edge with those examples. “Are you seeing that expression right now?”
“I admit I’ve messed this up, but I was honest with you. That stuff about not feeling anything—all true. I’ve been locked in this shell for over a decade, pounded by guilt every fucking day. The only light—only—has been a few friends and some assignments where I thought I actually did some good.” Now that he started talking he wanted to tell her everything, to share everything.
She pulled back. Just a little. “I get it. You survive on work. You’re an island.”
“Was.” No way was he allowing distance between them. He made that clear when he brought her in close. “Then you stormed into my life.”
“I did not storm.” But she smiled as she said it.
“You had your cause and your loyalty to your sister. You refused to back down.”
“This is about me now?”
“Every time I told you that I’d lost the ability to connect, you fought me. Maybe not always out loud but I could hear your voice in my head. Get over yourself. See the eyeroll even if you didn’t look at me and do it.” He didn’t even have to try hard to hear the sound. Her voice floated right into his head.
“Because it’s ridiculous.”
He felt something inside him explode. “I know that now!”
“What are you saying?”
He’d lived with his defenses for so long. It scared him to step out and be who he was . . . or it did. She made him want to try it. “You turned that light on. You broke through the barriers, you refused to just go away.”
She looked him up and down, as if sizing him up to determine if he was a good risk. “I can do that now.”
“Absolutely not. You don’t get to give up on me now that I’m falling for you.” She had him shouting and generally making a fool of himself. He didn’t act like this. He didn’t make scenes. He did now. “Damn it, Cate.”
“Falling . . .”
The catch in her voice stopped him. “This is not the time for you to drop off the end of your sentence.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
But he could hear it in her voice. She was starting to believe and he’d never been so relieved.
“I know I’m a bad risk. My past is fucked-up. That will always be there, the wrestling with guilt will not go away.” His hands slipped up her back to bring her in closer. “But you made me believe in something.”
A small smile played on her lips. “What?”
“You.” The last of his ego shattered. He would get on his knees, agree to squeeze the toothpaste her way. Whatever she needed. He couldn’t stand the idea of being apart. “Please don’t leave me. Agree to make this fake relationship real.”
She cupped his face. “Damon.”
He couldn’t tell from that tone if she intended to back away. She sounded soft but he didn’t want a martyr. “All I’m asking for is a chance.”
“Of course.” She threw her arms around his neck.
Wait . . . That seemed too easy, as if she was waiting to unleash that reaction. “What?”
“You think I came to Salvation, Pennsylvania, looking for a boyfriend? I never expected you. I couldn’t have predicted I would find you.”
“I can’t figure out if that’s a good answer or not.” But he loved it. Really loved it.
“You’re not the only one falling, Damon.” Some of the amusement left her face. She still smiled but her words hit like a pledge. “The pretty face, the grumpy attitude, the insistence on eating too many burgers. I’m in for all of it.”
“The father, the family mess?” He couldn’t imagine taking it on.
“Those, too, but with a bit less excitement.”
He sat on the verge of happiness. He could see Trevor out of the corner of his eye, smiling and looking ridiculous. His father hovered. A few of the men he knew from other Wren cases hovered. He didn’t get it at all. Part of him still knew that the risk of picking him was extreme. “God, why?”
“I’ve always been so focused, so clear, all my life. Get an education, stay out of debt, find the answers about Shauna, help my mom. I love my friends and having fun, but there’s always been so much other baggage that I tried to hide in the corner and deal with on my own.” She rested her forehead against his mouth for just a second. “I’m tired but when I met you I knew, maybe for the first time, that you were someone who could help me carry that load. That you wouldn’t walk out or run away.”
He shook his head, not understanding her but so grateful that she saw something he doubted was really there. “I don’t understand what you see when you look at me.”
“A good man who tries really hard to hide it.” She pulled him down for another kiss. “Hope. A future.”
“Then why were you walking away from me?”
A smile burst across her face. “I was giving that man his coat back.”
There’s no way he heard that right. “What?”
“I had his coat.” She pointed at the younger man who had a coat over his arm.
“You weren’t leaving me?” Here he was, making a scene and saying things he never thought he’d say to anyone . . . and she wasn’t going anywhere. He knew that should make him cranky but he just couldn’t get there.
“My plan was to ask Trevor how to get through to you and if he didn’t have any ideas, lock you in my apartment until you came to your senses.”
Trevor leaned in. “For the record, I would have recommended something with fire.”
Damon didn’t even spare him eye contact. “Shut up.”
“You’re stuck with me.”
“Bodyguard, burger eater, protector . . . you’re in for all of it?”
Her smile could light up a room. “Boyfriend. The real kind.”
He loved the sound of that. “You are the hottest thing ever.”
“And that’s the other reason I’m keeping you. Because you make me feel like I really am the hottest thing around.”
“I can show you.”
On that note, some of the crowd disbursed. Not Trevor, because he was Trevor.
“Okay, kids. Let’s keep this respectable,” he said. “And, for the record, that was the weirdest we’re really dating now declaration I’ve ever seen.”
Damon forgot about one very important problem with his big disclosure. He glared at Trevor. “If you tell the guys, I will kill you.”
�
��Recorded it on my phone.” Trevor held up his cell and shook it. “Already sent it to them.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m going to meet them all eventually.”
“Trust me, they’re happy you’re willing to take him on.” Trevor looked Damon up and down. “He’s a fucking mess.”
She wasn’t having it. She stretched up and kissed Damon on the cheek. “But he’s my mess.”
Damon couldn’t help but smile. “Let’s get out of here.”
Three weeks later, Cate had to fight the urge to dance around the luxurious hotel overlooking the White House. She sat next to Damon on the bed, wearing matching white robes.
“I can’t believe I’m finally going to meet all of your friends.” She couldn’t wait to put faces and names together. She’d met some but not all.
“I can’t believe Emery finally agreed to marry Wren.” Damon put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. “Could be she just wanted to see us all and figured an engagement party would get us all there.”
She loved this position. All tight against his side.
“Well, we have been in hiding for two weeks. You even went a day without a burger.” She was pretty sure that was a record.
He frowned. “I’m still pissed about that.”
“The rest of it was worth it.”
His lips found her hair. “Are you talking about the sex? Because my favorites are sex, food and being with you.”
She snuggled into his side. As far as she was concerned, the party could come to them while they spent the night sitting like this. “I notice how you put sex first on your list.”
“I’m a smart man.” He kissed her forehead. “An appreciative one, too.”
“We need to get packed.”
“Soon.”
“Don’t you want to get home?” The one they would be sharing. It was new and exciting and she could hardly wait to try it.
“Depends, do I still have to be there when you have all of your friends over?”
Yes, that would be her turn. They suggested brunch, so he was stuck. “They’re coming to meet you.”
“So, that’s a yes?”
“You’ll like the house. You’ll like them.” She hoped that was true. She didn’t see why it wouldn’t be. Despite his sometime grumpiness she’d found that he loved lounging around the house with her.
“I feel like I already am home without traveling anywhere.” He exhaled. “You do that for me. Make me feel centered and capable.”
He meant it. She could hear it in the intensity in his voice. He’d said pieces before, so the thought had been there. But she loved hearing it. “You sweet talker.”
“I love you. I’m no longer just falling. I’m fully in.” He just dropped it. Firm and clear and filled with honesty.
She sat up and bit and looked at him. “Wow.”
“Right? The guy who weeks ago swore he was dead inside.”
She’d be fine never to hear that sentence again. “That statement was always ridiculous.”
“Not until I met you.”
“Then it’s a good thing I love you, too.”
He hooked his hand under her thigh and dragged her onto his lap. “That didn’t take long.”
“You’re pretty loveable.” She shifted until her legs fell on either side of his hips and she faced him. “Two weeks of constant talking and being together without interruption likely fast-forwarded the ‘falling for you’ process.”
He winked at her. “You kind of sound like an actuary right now.”
“An actuary who wouldn’t mind getting naked to celebrate being in love.”
His sexy smile promised that they would absolutely do that. “I’m starting to really like math.”
“Then try this.” She reached down and tugged on the end of the bathroom belt. “What is the probability of me getting your robe off before I can take mine off?”
“We should test that.”
She laughed at the seriousness in his voice. “At least twice. I am a bit of an overachiever.”
He rolled her onto her back and hovered over her. “Show me.”
Acknowledgments
I grew up in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. It is gorgeous and green there, filled with rolling hills and farms. The kind of place where kids play outside until well after the sun goes down in the summer and the smell of freshly mowed grass is a guarantee. But there isn’t a cult there. That part, along with every character in this book, is pure fiction. It just so happened the area around my childhood home provided the perfect setting for this book. To keep every relative and every person I went to high school with from getting ticked off, I changed the town names. For the record, I grew up in New Holland, Pennsylvania.
So, thank you to my parents for not being part of a scary commune. Also, thank you to May Chen, my amazing editor, for seeing the plot holes in the draft of this book and helping me to fill them. Any remaining mistakes are my fault because she likely wrote a revision comment to try to get me to fix them and I ignored her because I was tired.
As always, thank you to my readers. You guys make all of this possible. So does James, my patient husband, who rarely panics when he comes home to find me glassy-eyed and writing . . . and obviously in need of a shower.
Games People Play Series
Don’t miss the rest of HelenKay Dimon’s Games People Play series!
THE FIXER
He’s known only as Wren. A wealthy, dangerous man, he specializes in making problems disappear. A professional fixer, Wren hides a dark past, but his privacy is shattered when Emery Finn seeks him out. He’s the only person who can solve Emery’s own personal mystery but tracking down the sexy, brooding Wren is difficult enough. Resisting her body’s response to him will prove completely impossible.
THE ENFORCER
Security expert Matthias Clarke hunts people who don’t want to be found. His latest prey: the sole survivor of the massacre that killed his brother. Kayla Roy claimed she was a victim but then she disappeared. Matthias thinks Kayla may be the killer—and he wants justice.
Kayla never lets a man get close, but keeping Matthias away might be impossible. She knows nothing about his connection to her past; only that their attraction feels overpowering—and very dangerous.
THE PRETENDER
They say it takes a thief to catch a thief, and Harrison Tate is proof. Once a professional burglar, he now makes a lawful living tracking down stolen art. No one needs to know about his secret sideline, “liberating” artifacts acquired through underhanded methods. At least until one of those jobs sees him walking in on a murder at Gabrielle Wright’s palatial family estate.
Available now from Avon Books!
About the Author
HELENKAY DIMON spent the years before becoming a romance author as a . . . divorce attorney. Not the usual transition, she knows. Good news is she now writes full time and is much happier. She has sold over thirty novels, novellas, and shorts to numerous publishers. Her nationally bestselling and award-winning books have been showcased in numerous venues and her books have twice been named “Red-Hot Reads” and excerpted in Cosmopolitan magazine. But if you ask her, she’ll tell you the best part of the job is never having to wear pantyhose again. You can learn more at her website: www.helenkaydimon.com.
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By HelenKay Dimon
The Protector
The Pretender
The Negotiator (novella)
The Enforcer
The Fixer
Under the Wire
Facing Fire
Falling Hard
Playing Dirty
Running Hot (novella)
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. An
y resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
the protector. Copyright © 2018 by HelenKay Dimon. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins Publishers. For information, address HarperCollins Publishers, 195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007.
first edition
Digital Edition AUGUST 2018 ISBN: 978-0-06-269222-1
Print Edition ISBN: 978-0-06-269223-8
Cover design by Amy Halperin
Cover photograph by Yasmeen Anderson Photography
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HarperCollins is a registered trademark of HarperCollins Publishers in the United States of America and other countries.
About the Publisher
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The Protector Page 27
