"No, it started with the medication. The fence was a by-product," Jake corrects me.
"I know that. It's just, the fence going up is what made me realize that everything was going to be different going forward." My head droops a little as I tear a bite out of my sandwich.
"If nothing had changed, what would you be doing right now?"
I think about this for a while as I chew, wondering what I really would be doing now.
"I don't know. It's summer, so I definitely would have graduated already. I'd probably be making list upon list with items I needed to pack or buy for college in the fall. I’m sure Lauren and I would be together as much as possible and Will while he's home from break. My parents would be trying to convince me to do a summer internship in the lab..." I get quiet for a moment while I continue daydreaming.
"You know, the one thing that would be missing from my life though, is you. And Jamie and Kye of course. I can't imagine my life without you all in it now. And honestly, I don't even think I realized that until you asked me."
"I think you’re pretty amazing, as well, Emma." Jake's grey eyes burn a hole through me as he takes in my words. I bow my head down, avoiding his stare and taking another bite of food.
"So, what would you be doing now if things had never changed?” I ask, once I've done an extra good job of chewing and swallowing.
Jake pulls a pack of crackers out of the bag, grabbing a couple and passing the sleeve to me. I can see the gears turning in his head as he thinks, chewing slow as he does so.
"You know... I might still be in the Army. I joined when I was eighteen to help my family. Who's to say I still wouldn't have wanted that money for them. At one point in time, I also thought about becoming a paramedic. Maybe I still would have joined for the money and benefits. Finish my four years, let them pay for school, and then become a paramedic from there.
"I'm hearing that you like to do a lot of things for your family and other people. I can see that in almost everything you do, you know. But what do you do for yourself? To make you happy?"
"Doing things for others does make me happy,” he laughs, “but specifically for me, hmm... I guess playing music, my guitar, running. And I like doing this – talking, taking in the view."
"And here I thought this was about me," I tease.
He laughs lightly, "Part of it is about you. But I think that might just reinforce me doing it specifically for myself."
I blush wildly as my heart seems to skip a beat. Did he really mean that the way my mind interpreted it?
Some fifty feet away a Rager wanders out of the trees. He walks slowly in our direction, not truly noticing us yet as we sit and watch him in silence for a minute or so.
"Well, we should probably get going," Jake collects our belongings. He stands up, securing the bag on his shoulder and checking his gun on his hip.
"You coming?" he asks, extending his hand to me.
"Let's go home," I reply, placing my hand in his.
Chapter 28
“I have one more thing to show you,” Jake tells me as we take yet another route back to the house.
“What’s that?” I ask, curious. Jake is driving down a highway for the first time ever, at least with me. I’m a little surprised as it has always been like a golden rule to only drive on back roads.
“I want to show you the safe camps.” My eyes grow in size when he says this, and I can see him watching my expression. “I know you asked Jamie about it when you first heard the radio station’s broadcast about them and I’ve watched your expression anytime it plays while we’re driving.”
“I guess I just don’t get how they can be doing this without even trying to help us.”
“They are helping some people, but it certainly is not us.”
We drive along for a few more minutes before seeing an exit with a thick cloud of dirt and dust floating over t an entire town. He pulls over near a guard rail and climbs out of the jeep.
In the few seconds since his door opened, the stench that floods into the car overwhelms my stomach. It smells like death, grunge, and fire. Acid burns in my throat as I work up the courage to open my own door.
Here goes nothing. I open my door, trying my hardest to breath all of the horrible smell out my nose without inhaling.
“What is this?” horror ringing through my voice.
“That’s the so called ‘Safe Zone’,” he says, anger searing his words. “What they really are, is hunting grounds for the government. When you get in, they take anything valuable from you and test everything about you. Your brain, your strength, your health, all of it. If you exceed in any way, you really are safe. If you don’t, they kill you and incinerate your body to clean up the mess. They’ll even put you to work first, cleaning up the bodies of those that came before you.”
“That’s… that’s disgusting.”
“Yes, it is. It’s sick and deranged. Less than ten percent of the people who come there live through the week. I’ll take you closer if you’d like, we’ll just need to be really careful so they don’t see us.”
“No, I don’t need to see any more. Take me home, please.”
Jake nods his head and walks to the jeep, opening my door for me.
I watch in silence through the side mirrors as the city and smoke disappear into the darkening night sky.
****
A few days have passed since my day with Jake. After seeing the city covered in the smoke and dust of dead bodies, a new determination has taken over. I’m going to figure it out. By the end of the week, I’ll have devised my final plan to get to base.
I’ll have Jake and Kye review it, quiz me on various aspects of the Fort to make sure I’ll be able to get back out. By the end of the month, I intend to have made it back to my dad and back to Lauren.
"Ems, want to go down by the lake with me?” Jamie asks, cutting through my internal thoughts. “See if we can find any berries growing in the woods?" Jamie stands behind me at the table, running her fingers through my hair. I relax into it. Such a small gesture that makes me feel so completely lucid and at ease.
"Promise, to keep playing with my hair when we get back?"
"Absolutely," she laughs, clapping me on my shoulders.
"Let's do it, then! Let me go put my hair up real quick and get some socks on. Be right back." I run gleefully to our bedroom, reaching for the hairbrush to pull my hair back into a high ponytail.
A few minutes later, we make our way down the forest path with our wagon pulled behind us and a few buckets and some water to carry our fresh berries. This is the first day in over a month that I don't have to train, but I can't imagine spending my day sitting around and doing nothing.
I feel stronger and healthier than I have ever felt in my entire life. I want to do something. And I don’t just mean a hike around here. I want to keep up with the goal Mom and I had.
We make it to the gully where the blueberries and blackberries are growing in clusters.
“Oh, I’m so excited!” Jamie cries, pulling a few of the dusty blueberries from their bramble. She dips them in the water bucket, cleaning the dirt from them. When she pulls them from the water, the berries are a shiny, deep purple color. They look absolutely mouth-watering.
She plops them into her mouth and I watch her face turn into a blissful, soaring smile as she munches the sweet treat happily.
“Everything you thought it would be?” I ask, giggling at her pure delight.
“And more.” She savors the fruit a second longer and then gets to work plucking more from their bushes.
I feed on her excited energy, using it to allow my imagination to keep thinking about my next step. I think tonight I’ll talk to the group. Maybe they can be of more help, even while I’m gone…
"Did you hear that?" I stiffen, listening intently, trying to distinguish between the normal sounds of the forest and something else entirely.
Jamie continues pulling the wagon along, collecting blueberries off the low bushes along t
he gully, ignoring me.
"Oh Emma, look, I think there are wild blackberries back here."
"Jamie, I swear I keep hearing some – Jamie, look out!" My scream echoes into the air. Two Ragers clamber out of the river, one making its way towards me and the other crashing into Jamie.
"Ugh!" she yells, falling back onto the ground.
I jerk myself into action, kicking the female Rager in front of me. My foot connects with her water-laden body. I can't help but feel pity for the woman stumbling backwards. Will's knife slides free from my sock as I wrap it in my hand and hurdle myself on top of the female, noticing how cracked and translucent her skin is. Plunging my knife into her face I see the crumbling, burnt paper appearance to her putrid skin.
A shrill scream erupts to my side. Shit!
Almost instinctively I pull the knife from the woman's head and thrust it into the Rager crouched over Jamie. His teeth let go instantly and he tumbles down on top of her, face buried into the crevice of her neck.
"Get it off," Jamie cries, her voice brittle with anguish.
I push his limp body off of her and help her off the ground. She is shaking from head to toe. One arm is still holding onto me for dear life, but her other hand is on her wound.
"It bit me. It freaking bit me!"
"It's okay. It's... It's going to be okay, Jamie. Come on, lay in the wagon. Please, just hold on tight," I plead, lowering her into the cart.
Please, God, please help me. My hands tremble as I lift the handle and take off through the woods. I can't lose her. Not her too.
My heartbeat thrashes in my ears with each quick step and leap I make. My feet move faster than I ever thought imaginable, zipping out and around giant tree trucks, diving under branches and skipping over thick roots.
The trail is ahead, the tree trunks space out enough for me to run straight for the opening, swinging wide to continue following it back to the house.
"Emma? Please don't let me die," Jamie's voice whimpers. I look over my shoulders to check on her and see her chin trembling as she fights to hold her tears in.
I can't respond to her; my lungs are burning, and my legs feel like rubber, but I know I only have one viable outcome. I have to save her.
The sky grows brighter ahead. Tree branches become less dense; the cool darkness of the shade falls back as the forest opens to our clearing.
"JAKE! JAKE!" my scream rings loud and hoarse.
Seconds later I see him at the door. I'm still barreling towards him, shouting, "Get the cure! GET THE CURE!"
He disappears back into the house again but, instead, Kye comes crashing out.
"Jamie!" He's in front of me within seconds. His tense arms envelope her, heaving her out of the wagon. He diverts his eyes from mine entirely as he swings back around, dancing back towards the house with a delicate but swift nimbleness that only he could possess.
The wagon clangs to the ground from my hands abandoning it. A gravity, different than the one of earth, is dragging me to pursue them, to stay on Kye's heels. I cross the last few feet as Jake comes back out of the house, leaping down the stairs.
"Lay her down, now!"
Jamie cries and thrashes, but Kye listens to Jake as if he's taking orders from his superior officer. I squat down in an attempt to help hold Jamie secure but Kye's eyes narrow on me, turning dark and hollow. His eyebrows sink down as the corners of his mouth turn down, tight and firm.
"What the hell happened?" he spats at me.
"We were ambushed!" My voice shakes in response. I've never seen Kye look so terrifying, and it sends me spiraling. "By two Ragers. They came out of the gully we were picking berries from."
"Stop it!" Jamie shrills. "It's not her fault. I messed up. I was being so, so STUPID." Her arms fly up, breaking past an unsuspecting Kye. Her long fingers curl open as she strikes her face.
"Jamie, quit!" Kye exclaims, catching her by the wrists. Together we force them back to her sides.
Jake's hands are controlled, and his demeanor collected as he places his syringe into a small bottle of medicine, sucking it into the cylinder container. He tosses the empty bottle to the ground and turns one of Jamie's legs out to the side.
"Jake, no. Jake, NO!" she shouts, shaking her head from side to side, at the sight of the needle. It must be at least three inches long. Her leg quivers as she attempts to squeeze it closed.
"I'm sorry," he barely utters, somehow managing to suppress her leg movement. The needle dives deep into her thigh sending her back into an arch as she moves against the pain. Jake pushes the cure into her body as a primal scream of pain releases from her.
And then she stops moving.
Chapter 29
Jamie’s muscles become more tense and ridged with each millisecond. Jake glides the needle back out, leaning over to see if he can read her unbending face. Her body is almost catatonic, every muscle contracts tightly against her will. My hand feels crushed beneath the squeeze of hers in mine, holding me in place, forcing me to watch with no way of helping.
A twitch, I felt it in her finger. Her hand spasms and lets go as the rest of her muscles release.
"Jamie," Kye whispers, relief pouring out of him.
Jamie gasps in deep gulps of air, letting go of me as she places her hand on her heaving chest.
Her breathing picks up, harder and harder as her chest rises high and then drops severely, repeatedly.
"Jake..." her voice cries, "Jake. I have to tell you something." Jamie trembles uncontrollably and her eyes well up as tears explode down her face, "I... I killed Dad."
Jake comes closer to her side, brushing her hand soothingly. "It's okay, you are fine now. You're okay. You didn't kill him."
"No, Jake, listen to me! I killed him. He was turning… into a Rager. You stopped sending money. You PROMISED you would send it, but you stopped. No letters, nothing. We couldn't afford anything, and I was stuck in that house with him! He was turning, he attacked me," she pushes herself upright, quivering in every limb of her body. "I didn't know what to do. You weren't there; I didn't have anyone!
"He had me pinned down to the floor, Jake, punching me over and over. I was able to reach the gun under the mattress..." Her voice is shaking so much it's getting hard to understand. "I shot him. I killed our dad!"
Jamie dissolves into complete hysterics, inconsolable even by Kye who sweeps her into his chest, rocking her back and forth. He is tender and loving, letting her fall into him. Jake stares at her, not knowing what to say or do.
Kye places an arm underneath Jamie's legs and another around her back, lifting her off the ground. I watch as he carries her up the old wooden steps through the door and into the house.
Jake is still frozen to the spot, crunched down on his knees. His face is ashen and pale. His eyes are quarries, empty, dark and lost all at the same time. My heart bleedsfor them both.
"Jake?" I ask quietly, lowering myself down to his level.
Emotion seeps through his steel grey eyes as he drops from his knees onto the ground. His shoulders slump forward, declaring his defeat.
"I knew that they were doing some messed up things. I should have known... but I didn't, I had no clue they would do something like... like that." His voice is soft but angry as a tear pools into his left eye.
"What do you mean?"
"I was sending money and letters. If she wasn't getting it... they... they must have been taking it." He shakes his head, pushing his hands into his eyes.
"I believe you. After everything else they have done, nothing is surprising anymore... Hey," I ease his hand out of his face, soothing, "Jamie didn't mean what she said. She's delirious from being bitten. Once her emotions have evened out, she'll be able to hear you."
"But it's my fault Jamie had to do that. Mine. Now, she'll carry that burden for the rest of her life. And I'll carry guilt, knowing it was because of me."
"No, Jake, how could this possibly be your fault?" I reach for his hand and squeeze, "They did this, not you. You couldn't
have known."
"But I could have stayed. I could have gotten a different job. Helped pay for his prescriptions that way."
"That's not true. You said it yourself, the medicine was expensive. Who knows if you would have been able to afford it? And then something else could have happened anyways."
"But I could have saved her from that pain. I should have been the one to kill him if it came down to it. It should have been me."
"Stop. If you hadn't left, you wouldn't know that a cure even existed. If you were bit, that would have been it. You may not have made it here. Without that, we would have never met. Honestly, I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for all of you... You are not at fault." I shake his shoulders with a reassuring smile.
The sunset in the distance paints the sky in beautiful pink and orange colors. Jake takes it in, letting it ease him. When he turns back to me, I reach for him without thinking, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He doesn't move away or hesitate in any way. Instead, his arms close around my back, his warm hand resting at my hip as he squeezes me tight to his body. My belly explodes with unexpected butterflies and I pull myself still tighter to him.
"Thank you," he whispers, grazing my ear with his warm lips. Shivers crawl up my spine, as we release. Jake sweeps a loose strand of hair out of my face, allowing his hand to linger on my cheek fleetingly, "for saving her."
"Jake, you don't have to thank me."
"Yes, I do. I, uh... I should go talk to her."
We both rise from the ground, a little pink in the face.
"Thank you, again," he says over his shoulder as he ascends the steps into the house.
My head is light as I plop down onto the stairs, still trying to process everything that has happened. I can't tell if my heart is racing because I couldn't fathom losing Jamie or because now, I am absolutely terrified of losing Jake.
STOP! I chastise myself. Jamie almost died. And Jake just found out how he lost his father. Stop thinking about yourself and your own feelings. I shake my head, trying to bring myself back.
A Whisper in the Flame (The Ragers Series Book 1) Page 20
