by Rita Karnopp
Her awakening body penetrated her sleep. A pulsing yearning brought her senses alive. She heard the rumble of thunder and fear filled her. Opening her eyes, Sarah stared into the raven depths of Two Shadow's gaze. They brimmed with tenderness and passion.
He slid his fingertips along her jaw line, then forward to cup her chin. He leaned forward, brushing his lips across hers, welcoming its sweetness.
She responded with eagerness, shocking herself. Instinctively, she curled her hand around the back of his neck, drawing him closer.
He untied the wing-bone, worked his fingers through the braided mass, freeing the silken curls with urgency. "Whispering Sun," he whispered into her hair. "I want to show you my love. My need for you is great." Intently he watched her, seeking a response.
As tears filled her eyes she withdrew from his touch.
"What's wrong, Sarah? Have I offended you?" He feared her rejection. A half-breed had no right to expect anything more.
"You called me Whispering Sun. Who is she?" Sarah asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"You are Whispering Sun. Did I not tell you? Of course I haven't. Sarah, love," he said, taking her hand in his. Bringing the palm to his lips, he kissed it. "I would not do anything to hurt you. I speak the truth when I say you are Whispering Sun. It is a name I gave you not so long ago. I will tell you about it later. Right now I want to make you my Whispering Sun. Come to me and let me love you. Surely you know I speak the truth."
I've waited for this day my whole life. I convinced myself it would never happen. I thought...Giles Rutledge would steal it from me. I...think I could easily love you, Two Shadows. Maybe I do already, but it frightens me."
As she closed the distance between them, lifting her lips to him, he paused, almost afraid it wasn't real. He lowered his head, covering her sweet lips with his. Her response encouraged him to allow the kiss to linger. He savored every moment of it.
Two Shadows nuzzled the pulsing hollow at the base of her throat, then showered kisses along her jaw and lips.
He felt her quiver under the sweet tenderness of his kisses.
"I want you to make love to me...but . . ."
He watched her bite her lower lip. Her hesitation worried him. Was the but...you are Indian? But what? he encouraged.
"You'll have to show me...what to do," she whispered.
He had no doubt the darkness of the cave hid a flush that burned across her cheeks. Two Shadows hesitated, knowing he should not take what she offered, despite what she may have said. She deserved a white man, not a half-breed. He pulled back slightly, staring at her innocent face. "This is wrong. You are a Christian white girl and I should not be doing this." He spoke the words easily enough, but his heart didn't feel them.
"Are you saying you don't want me because I'm white?"
He caught the quiver in her voice and noticed the moistness that glazed her eyes. "No, Sarah. I do not want you to make any mistakes. You could have any white man you want. I am saying you could do better than me."
"What makes you think a man is better than you just because all the blood that flows through him is white? We've had this conversation once before, and I'll say it again. Color does not make the man. I believe I said I could love you. You, Two Shadows. I care about you. There are no white men out there that I want, not like I want you." She watched him think over her words. Finally, his expression changed from uncertainty to belief.
First, he gently kissed the tip of her nose, forehead, cheek, jaw and then urgently he kissed her inviting lips.
She felt the hunger of his kiss, his warm breath brush against her cheek, the powerful way he pulled her closer. She wanted to feel it all. His kisses brought every untouched part of her alive.
The taste of her salty skin made him thirst for more. Two Shadows reminded himself he had to take his time, for her sake. Like a soft feather, he brushed his lips the length of her now sun-tanned neck with tantalizing persuasion. He explored the straining peaks of her breasts with the tip of his tongue, liking how they responded to his touch. He gently drew her breast into his mouth, rolling the hardened bud with his tongue. He listened to her soft moan of pleasure. Encouraged, he suckled with urgency. Her flesh tasted sweet beyond his imagination.
Lightning flashed across the sky, thunder echoed outside the cave. The pelting rain filled the earth with life.
Sarah lay panting, her chest heaving as his every kiss, his every touch, brought new and exciting sensations. His fingers burned into her tingling skin as he moved his hand across her breasts, past her abdomen and down across her thigh. With gentle pressure he slightly parted her legs and brushed his fingertips along the virginal hair.
Her entire being ached and throbbed with excitement. She hadn't expected her body to cry out, to beg, or demand to be filled. The yearning inside her became torturous...she didn't know what to expect...but she knew she needed more to satisfy the needs he had awakened.
He should have expected such passion from Sarah. Even though she had not experienced a man, her body instinctively reacted. It excited him to be her first and only man. He'd teach her things only they together would experience. They'd create a bonding, a love that would bind them together forever.
As Two Shadows explored the recesses of her mouth with his tongue, Sarah found her senses reel. She moved her fingers up and down the rippling muscles of his back and shoulders; kneading, scratching, pulling him closer.
Two Shadows fought the urgency that built much too quickly within him. He wanted her to experience the excitement and sensuous love he had to give. He wanted to caress and kiss every beautiful inch of her. To smell and taste the sweetness she had to offer.
With slow deliberation, he slid his hand to her inner thigh and slightly parted her legs. He brushed the inner lip with his fingertip and felt her moistness. It excited him.
"Sarah, my love," he whispered in a low, husky tone. "You'll feel a sharp pain at first. Don't be alarmed, it will pass quickly."
Again, he worked his palm downward, caressing, exciting, stimulating with each touch. He moved his fingertips inside her; Sarah groaned in harmony with the thunder.
He sensed the awakening flames within her as his tender touch moved within her. He found the barrier that proved he'd be her first lover. The time had come for her to receive him.
He rose above her. "Whispering Sun," he called in a raspy, passionate tone. "Are you sure you want me? It is not too late to turn back. But once this is done, it cannot be undone. You will be mine forever."
His question surprised her. How could he doubt her feelings? Her body cried for him...for fulfillment. She reached up, lacing her fingers behind his neck, pulling him down to her.
Two Shadows entered her with gentleness, moving slow and sensual. He'd let her experience every wonderful, exciting, tender moment of lovemaking. He would bring her to the highest possible peak...and then higher.
She welcomed him into her body. His movements only made her want more. A sharp pain filled her. "Oh!" Sarah cried out. She tensed, then found her body relaxing, begging for more. His gentle thrusts increased in rhythm. Wave after wave of desire shook her. She gasped in sweet ecstasy, raising her hips to meet him.
"I love you, Whispering Sun," he whispered in her ear. "You are my life, my breath. I give you my heart and my love from this moment on."
His words flowed tender and loving, and although he spoke them in Blackfeet, she understood every loving word.
A shiver, almost spastic grip, shook her...wild and explosive...as if a bolt of lightning flashed through her. A sense of fulfillment finally filled her. Their pleasure had been pure and explosive.
They clung to each other. They were complete. They were satisfied...for now. Their hearts pounded in unison, as their bodies remained entwined.
He pressed his lips to hers, caressing her mouth more than kissing it. "We were made for each other, Whispering Sun. Our bodies fit together as the Great Spirit created. You now have my heart, little one."
Sarah returned his kiss with reckless abandon. "I felt it, too. I worried you'd be disappointed."
He took her mouth with renewed intensity. "What would make you think such a thing?" he asked, grasping a handful of her golden hair and spreading it around her head like a halo. "In the fire light your hair shimmers like the sun. Your body is soft and shapely. Your love is sweet and giving. How could I not love you?" He moved his mouth over hers, kissing as a lover, as a protector,...as a husband.
"My mother once told me there is no such thing as real love. I didn't believe her then, I know she's wrong now." Sarah pressed her cheek into his shoulder. Her heart swelled with happiness. She heard the thunder growl and the lightning cracking, it no longer frightened her. Two Shadows loved her and nothing else mattered.
He leaned forward and added several sticks to the fire. He pulled the blankets up over their naked bodies and adjusted his arms protectively around her.
With her fingertips, Sarah traced the scars on his chest, then leaned down and kissed each one. She realized her lips were slightly swollen from his kisses. Nuzzling her face back into his shoulder, she pressed against his warmth. A smile of contentment stole upon her face. She allowed her lids to close.
* * *
Sarah woke with a start. It took several seconds to realize where she was. Rising up on her elbow, she looked around with intensity. Staring at the sunny cave opening, it surprised her to see night had passed. How well she'd slept in Two Shadows' arms. She searched to find him. Sudden alarm filled her. Could something have happened to him? Had other Sioux come and killed him while she slept? No, she told herself. A warrior like Two Shadows could survive anything, including a bear attack.
Snuggling under the blanket, she couldn't help noticing how happy she felt. How unsettled and excited her body felt. She hadn't expected loving a man to be this incredible. Just the thought brought moistness and a yearning for more. Thoughts of what they'd done together caused a warm blush to spread across her cheeks.
"Good morning, little one. Nepo'-aka. You have slept the entire morning away. Now you must eat so we can be on our way. I'm starving."
His eyes told her his hunger extended beyond food. She realized his gazed lingered where the partially fallen blanket revealed a naked breast. A decent woman would cover herself, but a decent woman wouldn't have given herself to a man last night either. She wondered if her actions made Two Shadows think less of her.
She felt him caress her with his gaze. Her body tingled with anticipation. Her heart jolted and her pulse pounded. She watched him shift his feet, as though he struggled with the decision to stay or run. He stepped closer and she felt the intensity in his stare.
"You should not tempt a man when he has work to do, white woman. Your inability to cover yourself has caused me great discomfort. It is your duty, as my woman, to take care of those needs." He leaned forward, extending his hands to her. "Puksiput, Whispering Sun. Make my heart soar with yours."
She noted the deep, huskiness of his tone. She placed her hands in his large, strong palms.
He pulled, bringing her to her feet. The blanket slid to the ground, revealing smooth, white skin where her dress covered, brown skin where it had not. Just the sight of her brought him pleasure.
Conscious of his bold scrutiny caused her discomfort. She'd never stood naked before a man before. Although she felt a blush creep up her neck, his stare excited her. She watched him pull the tie of his breechclout and it dropped to the ground. Strangely, the effort caused a shudder to pass through her.
His heart hammered against his chest. He stepped forward and clasped her body to his. He moved his hands down the hollow of her back, exploring the curves; her skin felt like silk of milkweed beneath his fingertips.
Conscious of where his warm flesh touched her, Sarah found her body build with want and a need for fulfillment. She hadn't expected to feel such desire the second time, yet, she found her body cried out even more for what he could give her.
Leaning, he kissed a hot trail down her throat, then moved his mouth over hers, accepting the ardor that it offered. He reached down and grasped her firm, round buttocks, lifting her from the ground. "Wrap your legs around me, Whispering Sun." His husky whisper broke the silence.
She eagerly did as he said, then gasped as his mouth claimed a breast. She moaned, leaning into him, encouraging him to continue.
Raising her even higher, Two Shadows kissed and caressed the smooth, taunt skin of her stomach. Tasting the heat of her body, his mouth burned with passion. As he awakened her passion, his own grew stronger. Slowly he lowered her until his hardness entered her.
They shuddered in unison. Their bodies moved as one. He grasped her waist, then guided her body up and down, feeding their growing needs.
She cried out in sweet agony, he drove deeper, thrusting deeper, reaching into the soft recesses of her being.
His ardor mounted. He found himself moaning, needing to give her pleasure. Reclaiming her lips, he explored her mouth with his tongue, darting in and out, bringing her to shivers of desire.
Her lips quivered, her body shuddered in an unspoken spasm to the love he freed in her. A sudden calm washed over her, she felt the same had occurred to Two Shadows.
They clung to each other. Their labored breathing entwined. He remained within her, holding her against his heart.
She clung to him, reluctant for the close contact to end. A deep sense of peace and happiness filled her. "I love you, Two Shadows. Don't ever leave me." She felt her voice quiver. It'd never been easy for her to express her fears.
"I will never leave you, Whispering Sun. You are my life. I would sooner cut out my heart than to live without you."
She felt a sweet intimacy in their kiss.
Gently he eased her to the ground. He tied his breechclout on, then raised a white object her way. "Father Earth has provided us with a rabbit. I will go skin it while you dress. I have worked hard this morning and am more than starving, now." His deep, warm laughter followed him out of the cave.
Her heart pounded against her chest. She still felt the throbbing of their lovemaking and the moistness he left inside her. She'd become a woman...Two Shadows' woman. Happiness filled Sarah. It was a feeling both new and exciting to her. She'd follow him wherever he wanted to go. It didn't matter where, as long as they were together. She'd never go back to Fort Bryson.
* * *
"It's a good thing you cook so well," Sarah said, taking another bit of the tasty rabbit. "I didn't realize I'd been so hungry." She licked her fingers, then broke off another piece.
"I'd say we both found what we needed to satisfy our hunger."
She felt her cheeks blaze, but nodded in agreement. She loved this handsome man. She loved his dark, searching eyes. His strong, tan face and long, black hair. She loved to watch his lips, and even more she loved the taste of them. Again she longed to feel them against her own.
"Woman. You keep looking at me like that and we'll never leave this cave!" He watched her uncomfortable response and laughed, loving her even more. "Don't be embarrassed. It pleases me that you find a desire for me. I have the same feelings about you. Don't ever be afraid to show me you want me. I can bear your shameless stares and... appetite," he chuckled.
"I place the blame with you. You kissed me first. You taught me what our bodies can...can do. I am guilty for having unsettling thoughts, but it is your fault for creating them in the first place." She enjoyed this gentle sparing with Two Shadows.
"Well, innocent white woman, are you ready to follow your man?"
"I'll follow you anywhere, Two Shadows," she said, knowing she meant the words with her whole heart. "Where are we going?" She noticed his expression sober.
"It is only right that I tell you. I hope you will understand...what I intend to do...well, I have no choice." He looked up, afraid of what she'd think of the savage side of him.
"Tell me, Two Shadows. What is so awful that it eats at your heart and drives you like a mad man
?" she asked, pulling Two Shadow's brush through her hair.
He moved behind her, took the brush, then worked at the snarls, grateful for the distraction. "I was a boy of eight winters. My two best friends, He Who Listens and Horse Racer, and I were getting an early swim. Suddenly the morning filled with screams and cries. We crawled on our bellies and hid in the bushes that lined the edges of the bluff. Below, in the valley, our summer camp had been set up.
Earlier that morning our fathers had gone out hunting with the men and older boys. We were too young to go hunting for Nita'pi Wak'sin, real food, the buffalo." Two Shadows continued brushing her long hair. Sarah touched his arm, he looked up into her gaze, then first realized he'd stopped talking.
"Who was screaming and crying?" she asked.
"Our mothers and sisters were screaming. Five white men had come into our camp. They held large skinning knives, first using them on the old, sick men, then on the women and children."
Sarah shuddered at the image Two Shadows created. She closed her eyes and fought hard to remain quiet. She heard him clear his throat, then felt the brush dig to her scalp. She nearly cried out, but held back.
"I watched as a large, ugly skinner grabbed my mother, Lame Deer. He tore off her dress, raped her, then slit her throat. Her blood squirted all over his face and shirt. He just laughed. I then watched him go into my tipi. I heard the screams of my six-year-old sister, Morning Dove. I will never forget the sounds." He swallowed hard. "I watched this big man come out of the tipi, reach down and tear the necklace from my mother's bloody throat." Two Shadows reached into his leather bag, pulled out the necklace and dropped it into Sarah's lap.
Sarah picked up the heavily beaded necklace and stared down at it. Eagle Shield had worn it, before Two Shadows took it. She thought back to when she watched him take the necklace that first night.
Sarah's breath caught in her throat, there were still traces of blood between the designs. The beads were sewn close to each other. Rubbing her fingers lightly over them reminded her of the feel of silk. The oval base of the necklace became a solid blue sky, background for two intricate cattails stretching upward, sewn in shimmering brass beads. The flowers came to life beneath her fingertips.
